“I didn’t touch them.”
“Them?” Her voice picked up in alarm.
“I met these two women at Ruin last night. They wanted me to be their Dom, so I made them do things to each other. But I didn’t touch them.” When I told one woman to slap the other, she did it. When I asked one to whip the other, she didn’t hesitate. It fulfilled my urges perfectly. Rome and I weren’t together so I was free to do whatever I wanted, but I still felt terrible for hurting her.
“Oh…”
“I didn’t touch them,” I reminded her for the third time. “I haven’t been with a woman besides you.” My need to dominate wasn’t necessarily sexual all the time. What I did with Isabella was strictly to control my anger and need for domination. Fucking her never crossed my mind. But I didn’t expect Rome to understand that.
She pulled her hand from mine, pushing away my affection. She swallowed hard, loud enough for me to hear. With every passing second, she drew away from me. She closed off her heart, her body, and everything else.
I knew I wasn’t getting laid tonight.
She hit the button on the ceiling. “Tom, take me home.” She looked out the window so she wouldn’t have to look at me.
“Yes, ma’am,” Tom said through the intercom.
I stared at the side of her face, both angry and indifferent. “Rome, I don’t want to do these things with other women. I only want to do them with you.”
She kept her gaze focused through the glass like I wasn’t even there. “While I sleep alone in my bed, heartbroken, you’re out having a good time.”
“I’m out having a terrible time because I wish I were with you.”
She pressed her lips tightly together and shook her head.
“You really can’t even consider doing this for me?” I asked incredulously. “You’re willing to let me go and end up with somebody else because you’re that closed-minded?”
She turned back to me, fire in her gaze. “Excuse me? Calloway, you have no idea what I’ve been through.”
“Exactly,” I barked. “Because I know you changed your name and you’re running from something, but you never had the balls to tell me.”
Shock crept into her features.
“At least I was man enough to be honest with you. Yes, I’m into some kinky shit. But that’s who I am. You keep comparing me to these abusive men from your past, when I’m nothing like that. You don’t trust me.”
“Fuck you, Calloway.” She turned back to the window. “You had one of your men look into my file?”
“Yeah, I did.” I knew that made me lose the argument, but I didn’t care. “Only because you wouldn’t tell me anything yourself.”
“Maybe I just wasn’t ready to say anything.”
“If you love me, you should be ready,” I snapped. “You’ve never really let me in me, Rome. You can blame me for the downfall of this relationship, but you’re the one at fault.”
“Wow.” She shot me a glare. “You have a lot of nerve.”
“I don’t have enough nerve, actually. I’m the one who’s changed. I’m the one who’s pushed the boundaries and made sacrifices to be what you need. I’ve never done the boyfriend thing before. I’ve never had a woman live with me. I’ve never loved someone, let alone told them that. I’ve grown, Rome. I’ve sacrificed everything I possibly can to make this work. What sacrifices have you made?”
Her lips were pressed together, clearly having no rebuttal.
“You haven’t made any, Rome. If you really trusted me, really loved me, we could make this work. You would be my sub with the same perfection that I’ve been your boyfriend. You want to keep me away from Ruin? Then do this for me. You can’t blame me for getting my needs met elsewhere. If I weren’t willing to give you what you needed, you would have left a long time ago. So stop treating me like a monster. Stop treating me like I’m some kind of asshole. I’m more than just a Dom. If you don’t see that, then you obviously don’t know me very well.”
She threw the door open so she could get out.
I yanked on her arm and pulled her back inside. We were at a red light, and the car was about to move. “Don’t bother. I’ll go.” I practically broke the door off its hinges as I got out. Then I slammed the door so hard the car shook.
I stepped onto the sidewalk and didn’t look back. No one was out on this side of town because they were on the main streets. It was dangerous and stupid for a woman to be walking around here at night. No way in hell was I going to let Rome walk in that dress. She wouldn’t last ten minutes.
I walked back to my house with my hands in my pockets, my jaw tight with anger. I was so livid I could barely see straight. The woman I loved was sitting in the back seat of my car. I’d given her the world, but she wouldn’t give me something so minor.
She wouldn’t give me anything.
This was probably just the anger talking, but I needed to move on and forget about her. I’d always been man enough for her, but she’d never been woman enough for me. She didn’t bend over backward for me, not the way I did for her. I admit what I did with Isabella was wrong, but Rome forced my hand.
Now I was officially over it.
I was over her.
12
Rome
Now I was a hollow shell.
I wasn’t sure what possessed me to ask a question when I didn’t want the answer. I wasn’t sure what my expectations were. Calloway made his feelings about our relationship very clear. He needed more than what I was willing to give him.
After everything he said to me, I knew there was no hope for us now.
And not ever.
I kept thinking about what he said, that I hadn’t sacrificed as much as he had to keep this relationship going. I didn’t agree with that initially, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized how much he’d changed.
He gave up his ownership of Ruin for me.
He asked me to move in with him.
He told me he loved me.
He introduced me to his mother.
All the things he refused to do with anyone, he did them for me. He even tried to give up his lifestyle in the pursuit of vanilla with me. It was all he’d ever known, and he tried to walk away from it.
I didn’t even try to be what he needed.
I was so averse to the idea, so offended by how he wanted to treat me, that I never really gave it a chance.
I couldn’t lie to myself about that.
But I still didn’t want to do it. I loved how aggressive and authoritative he could be sometimes, but I didn’t want a whip to my back or a slap to my ass. I didn’t want to be treated as inferior when I worked so hard to be respected.
But this was a deal-breaker for him.
I went through the motions during the week, going to work and then going straight to my room when I got home. I spent a lot of time reading because it was the only thing strong enough to steal my focus. When I wasn’t actively doing something, my thoughts constantly wandered to Calloway.
I missed him so much.
I didn’t see him at work, which was a good thing and a bad thing. The last time I saw him, he left the car and slammed the door behind him. It was a different kind of anger, a ferocity that Calloway rarely showed.
I knew he was truly pissed at me.
Even if I wanted him back, there was a possibility he might not take me.
At the end of the day on Friday, I walked to the elevator and checked a message on my phone.
Christopher texted me. Wanna get dinner?
I hardly had an appetite as it was, especially this early in the evening. How about a walk through the park instead?
No. You need to eat. I’ll meet you at the pizza place.
I shoved my phone in my pocket as I walked into the elevator.
And joined Calloway.
I hadn’t even noticed he was there, let alone holding the door open for me.
He pulled his arm back so the doors would close then hit the button for the lobby.
His hands were in his pockets, and he stared at the numbers as we descended to the bottom floor. He didn’t seem angry or sad. In fact, he seemed indifferent.
I didn’t feel the usual tension between us, the fiery chemistry that always erupted anytime we were near each other. All I felt was nothing—from him. He didn’t glance at me. He didn’t make conversation.
He just stood there.
The doors opened, and he walked out first. “Have a good weekend, Ms. Moretti.” He spoke to me like he would to any other employee, like I was someone he would forget about the second he was out of the building.
I was so hurt that I stayed in the elevator. I watched the doors slide closed and felt the elevator move back to the top of the building. More people filed in, and the elevator moved up and down, taking people where they needed to go.
I stood there because I didn’t know what to do.
I had nowhere to go.
Christopher was already there with the small pizza in front of him. He hadn’t waited for me to arrive before he started. He took a bite, and the cheese stretched between his mouth and the slice that was still in his hand.
I slid into the booth across from him, unable to eat anything even if I had a gun pointed to my head.
Christopher knew there was something seriously wrong the second he looked at me. “Rome, what is it?” He dropped the pizza back onto the plate, the cheese still stuck to his fingers. He quickly wiped his hands with a napkin.
“Nothing.”
“Rome, you look like shit. It’s not nothing.” He pushed the pizza off to the side, along with the plates and the sodas. “Talk to me.”
“I just saw Calloway… I’ve never seen him be so cold.”
Christopher knew about my last interaction with Calloway. He didn’t have much to say at the time. When it came to my personal life, he didn’t express his opinion like he did for everything else. “What did you expect to happen?”
“I don’t know…it just hurt.”
“Well, that’s what people do when they break up. They hate each other and move on with their lives.”
“I don’t hate Calloway.” I never could, even if I wanted to. “And he doesn’t hate me either.”
“He’s probably just tired of everything. Eager to move on.”
That was the exact impression I got.
Christopher no longer gave me sympathy the way he used to. “Rome, this is the moment of truth. You’ve got to do something now, or let him walk away for good. Is losing him really worth your stubbornness?”
“I’m not stubborn—”
“Yes, you are,” he said coldly. “Either do something about Calloway, or move on with your life. I’m not trying to be an ass here. But you can’t keep moping around over this guy if you’re the reason you aren’t together. He already tried to make it work, but it was too difficult. Now it’s your turn.”
“You make it sound so easy.”
“Because it is easy,” he snapped. “You love the guy, or what?”
“Of course…” I would never love another man the way I loved him.
“Then you really need to think about your next move. You’re running out of time. Honestly, you probably are out of time.”
“You think…?”
He nodded. “I’m sure he went back to his old ways the second he got out of the car. I would have done the same.”
I hated picturing Calloway with other women. It wasn’t about jealousy, only heartbreak. He was the man I loved, and even after everything we’d been through, I still felt exactly the same way.
Christopher shook his head slightly as he stared at me.
“What?”
“Nothing.” He pulled the pizza back to the center of the table and handed me my drink. “Looks like there’s nothing else to talk about.”
13
Calloway
I didn’t think about Rome anymore.
Because I wouldn’t allow myself to.
I was moving on, going back to what I did best.
Fucking. Drinking. And dominating.
I ordered a scotch at the bar and surveyed the talent inside Ruin. I was surprised Isabella hadn’t chased me down after she threw me under the bus. Maybe she was worried I was livid with her, that I would never speak to her again.
In reality, I didn’t care at all.
The place was full of beautiful women, exotic and mysterious in the darkness. I loved being with a woman without knowing anything about her. I didn’t need to have dinner with someone and ask them about their childhood because we had incredible sex. I didn’t even need to know her name.
I locked eyes with a pretty blonde on the other side of the room. I usually preferred brunettes, but I wasn’t picky enough to ignore a beautiful woman who wanted me. She wore a collar around her neck, the chain grasped in her hand. She sat at a table alone, her drink sitting right in front of her.
I continued to stare at her, noticing her long legs underneath the table. She wasn’t as curvy as I liked, but again, I wasn’t picky. She continued to stare at me like I was exactly what she was looking for.
I was the Dom she was looking for.
She slid off the chair and sauntered toward me in high heels and a short black dress. Her hair was thick and curled, and her makeup was so dark she nearly looked gothic. When she reached me, she placed the leash in my hand and wrapped my fingers around it. “Good evening, Master.”
I gripped the leather in my hand, feeling my entire body come to life. “Look at the ground.”
She did as I commanded, immediately obeying me without a fight.
I tested the chain, feeling it tug on her neck slightly. She was exactly what I was looking for, a woman with experience in obedience. She was hungry for me, desperate for my brutality. And I would give it to her. “Come.” I held the leash and pulled her along, heading to the stairs.
A woman crossed my path, someone who looked familiar.
She had bright green eyes that shone brighter than the stars on a cloudless night. She had curves no other woman could compete with. With brown hair that reached her shoulders, framing her beautiful face. In black stockings, black shorts, and a dark corset, she was by far the sexiest woman in the room.
Every man had his eyes on her.
She locked eyes with me, her lips ruby red and her eyes dark with heavy makeup. She looked like an enchantress, the queen of this entire club. A chain was held in both of her hands, a collar on one side and the leash on the other.
She walked right up to me with more confidence than I’d ever seen before. She grabbed the leash in my hand and tossed it on the floor before holding out the collar to me. It was open and ready to be secured around her neck.
I forgot about the blonde.
I forgot about everyone in the room.
All I could think about was the woman standing in front of me, asking me to make her mine in a way she never had before.
“Make me your sub, Calloway.”
I’d never been so hard in my life. I’d never felt this kind of thrill, this kind of euphoria. It was better than any dream. It was better than the fantasy I touched myself to. This was real. Rome was standing in front of me, ready to kneel the second I asked her to.
I took the collar from her hands and secured it around her neck. I locked it in place, seeing the metal shine in the dim lighting.
She opened my hand and placed the leash in my grasp. “I am yours.”
I squeezed the leash so hard my knuckles almost popped. I could hardly keep myself steady because this moment was too incredible, too powerful. Like the blonde had never crossed my mind at all, I left her behind and pulled Rome by the leash.
And took her to my playroom.
I locked the door behind us with the leash still held in my hand. “Face forward.”
Rome hesitated before she did as I asked. She faced the opposite direction, to where the king bed lay, the red comforter contrasting against the black walls.
I came up behind her until my che
st almost touched her back. I took the time to study her, to watch her body’s reaction to me and this room. The metal collar still sat on her collarbone, locked in place so she couldn’t get away.
My hand grazed up her arm, my fingertips lightly touching her skin. With those shorts and corset, she blended right in with everyone else Ruin. At first glance, anyone would say she belonged there. I moved up to her elbow, noticing the way her chest rose and fell at a quicker pace. “Are you sure you want to do this, Rome?” I was going to give her an out just in case she had cold feet.
“Yes.”
“Yes, Sir,” I corrected her.
“Yes, Sir,” she repeated, her voice noticeably weak.
I craned my neck and pressed a kiss to her bare shoulder, tasting the skin that drove me wild. I moved up her neck and to her ear, kissing the shell as I breathed into her canal. My hand tightened on the leash, and I gave her a slight tug. “Why are you doing this? I know this isn’t what you want.”
“May I turn around?” she whispered.
“No.” We did things my way when we were in my playroom. She didn’t have a voice as far as I was concerned.
“I don’t want to lose you, Calloway… I love you.”
I pressed my face against the back of her head, treasuring the confession she just made. I stood my ground and walked away from her, and now she was the one chasing me. I used to dream about this moment, but I stopped the second I got out of that car.
But now it came true.
“You trust me, sweetheart?” I wrapped my arms across her chest, holding her against me with the leash still held in my hand. The moment was hard to grasp because it was too good. I needed to pinch myself to make sure this wasn’t a dream, to make sure it was real.
“Yes…”
“Yes, Sir. Don’t make me tell you again.”
“Yes, Sir,” she said quickly.
I unlocked the collar and tossed it on the floor. It fell with a loud clank once it hit the wooden floorboards. I walked around her until we were face-to-face. Her cheeks were flushed with both fear and arousal. I could see her emotions on the surface of her eyes. “You do as I say. No questions asked.”
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