by Penny Jordan
‘Yes, briefly.’ She wouldn’t have said anything more, but the Judge overheard them and laughed. ‘I should say so, Dulcie, I was privileged to witness her giving that son of yours a most definite put-down.’ He went on to quickly explain what had happened, making the small incident seem far more dramatic than it had actually been. ‘I warned her that Piers wouldn’t take too kindly to her rebuff,’ he concluded smiling at Selina.
‘Henry, you’re embarrassing Selina,’ Susan Seaton told her husband chidingly.’ He was using a little of his court room licence there, Dulcie, I’m afraid,’ she told her friend. ‘All Selina did was refuse Piers’ invitation to dance. After all he was with another girl at the time,’ she added.
‘Yes, I’m afraid my son is inclined to behave rather cavalierly when the mood takes him. A result of losing his father at a very impressionable age. Fortunately my brother stepped in before too much damage was done, but Piers had inherited more than his fair share of the Harvey pig-headedness. Gerald has at least learned to temper his a little, although it’s still there, witness the battle we had to get him to employ an assistant. I shudder to think what would happen if he and Piers ever really clashed.’
As the Seaton’s maid appeared at that moment to announce lunch the conversation came to a close. Selina found to her dismay that she was seated next to Harry; and moreover that he was intent on making himself as obnoxious as possible.
‘How about letting me take you out to dinner tonight?’ he invited when she had removed his hand from her knee for the third time. ‘I know this little place…’
‘Thank you, but I already have a date.’ It was Selina’s stock-in-trade lie, which she had found far more effective than an outright refusal.
‘Have you indeed?’ Interest sharpened the dark eyes. ‘Well, well and I thought you were quite the little hermit. Anyone I know?’ The question was asked casually, but Selina felt his tension. Ever since she had first been introduced to him two years ago Harry had been trying to persuade her to go out with him. Although she didn’t have much contact with the other secretaries and staff who worked for men in the close-knit circle of which the Judge was a part, she had heard various rumours that Harry considered himself something of a Don Juan.
Unlike Piers Gresham he did not possess that aura of intense masculine sexuality which she found so frightening, and because of it he was much easier to deal with. Even so she was relieved when the end of the meal released her from his company.
‘Harry proving rather over-amorous?’ Dulcie Gresham asked sympathetically joining Selina over by one of the windows. ‘That young man really does lack manner I’m afraid.’
‘He’ll soon weary of the chase,’ the Judge comforted Selina. ‘He lacks staying power—unlike some I could name,’ he added to Dulcie with a chuckle. ‘Now I couldn’t see that son of yours letting anything stop him getting something he wanted.’
‘Umm…’ A little to Selina’s surprise, her response was not totally approving. ‘I’m afraid that Piers still has to learn to temper his judgments with compassion, and I think one or two set-backs might just hasten that process. Although in many ways his determination is an asset, in others it isn’t. It gives him the power to overcome those who are weaker than him too easily—not always a good thing.’
The Seatons excused themselves to chat to their other guests and as though sensing Selina’s surprise, Dulcie Gresham said humorously, ‘Did you expect me to be a totally doting mother? Well, in many ways I am, but my love for him doesn’t blind me entirely to Piers’ faults. I don’t know if you’re aware of it or not, but my brother suffered a most appalling scandal when he was younger. Piers was eight at the time and adored my brother.’ A frown touched Dulcie Gresham’s expertly made up face. ‘It didn’t help that Piers had been involved in the scandal—whether by accident or design I do not know—in that the woman concerned had visited him at school with my brother. I was away in the States at the time. Although Piers never really talked much about it, I suspect he suffered a feeling of betrayal. My brother was his God in many ways…and I think he felt that he’d been used. However, that’s all water under the bridge now, but I have the sneaky feeling that Piers transferred all the bad feelings he felt from my brother to his woman friend. Certainly he treats the majority of our sex with a cynicism I find hard not to criticise at times. No doubt he’ll be one of those men who marry late in life; probably a sweet young thing who he’ll always hold at a slight distance. That thought saddens me very much. I had such happiness with his father. Piers tends to dismiss my views as romantic, I know, but he is after all my son, and very much a Harvey. I just hope he doesn’t discover too late that even cynics fall in love.
‘You don’t think I should be telling you all this do you?’ she asked, surprising Selina with her perception. ‘Perhaps not. Certainly Piers would be furious, but Henry was right you know. He won’t take your rejection kindly— Oh I’m not suggesting he’ll take it out on you professionally. He might have faults, but I don’t believe small-mindedness is one of them, but he’s a man who isn’t used to female rejection, Selina, and if you’ll take my advice you’ll tread warily with him. I should hate to see you hurt.’
‘But you hardly know me.’ For once Selina could not disguise her feelings.
The blue eyes so like her son’s softened. ‘Perhaps not, but I feel as though I know you.’
In order to avoid Harry, Selina decided to leave early. She found her hosts deep in conversation with another couple and politely interrupted to say her goodbyes.
‘Selina, you must come round one night next week, and tell us all about your new job,’ the Judge insisted. Promising to do so, she looked round for Dulcie Gresham, but there was no sign of the older woman. Quenching a small stab of disappointment that she had left without seeking her out, Selina went upstairs to claim her coat. She too had felt at ease with her in a way she had never expected; but then of course, she wasn’t simply Piers Gresham’s mother; she was also her aunt. It was like unlocking the door to a hidden pain; the old childish resentment of her father’s legitimate children came gushing back; they had not been rejected by their father; they had not had to endure the taunts of their peers; the knowledge that their mother lived with a succession of men.
Stop it, stop it, she cautioned herself. Encouraging those sort of feelings would cause her nothing but anguish; she had taught herself that long long ago. At university she had realised that she had to disassociate herself from her burden of guilt if she was to live in peace. The guilt was not hers, and surely if she told herself that firmly and often enough, she would come to believe it.
She was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she didn’t see the other two people in the hallway until she reached it. The colour receded quickly from her face as she saw Piers Gresham standing beside his mother chatting with the Seatons.
‘Selina, my dear, there you are.’ Dulcie Gresham greeted her warmly. ‘I was just asking Susan where you were. I would have hated to leave without saying goodbye. Piers, why on earth didn’t you tell me what a charming girl Selina is?’
His mother was laying it on a trifle thickly Selina thought, but she was still unable to repress the small gleam of amusement that lit her eyes, a totally natural smile curving her mouth.
‘Perhaps because I suspected it was something you’d soon discover for yourself,’ Piers drawled, helping his mother on with her coat. His voice was mild, but there was nothing mild about the look he gave Selina. It dulled the light in her eyes instantly, her mouth freezing in its half-smile as she caught the full force of his icy stare. That she should be amused by his mother’s comment plainly infuriated him and he was making no bones about letting her know it.
Turning away Selina felt her heart plummet as Harry strolled into the hall. On seeing her there he exclaimed triumphantly. ‘Just going… You must let me give you a lift. Now…no protests, I know you don’t have a car.’
Before she could speak, Selina heard Dulcie Gresham saying calmly, ‘N
o need for that, Harry, we’re dropping Selina off. Come along, dear,’ she added, touching her arm. ‘Best not to keep Piers waiting, he does hate it so, but then I suppose you’ve noticed that already.’
Too bemused to protest, Selina let herself be shepherded towards the door, unhappily aware of the speculation and chagrin in Harry’s eyes as he glanced from Piers to herself. No doubt he was assuming that Piers was the ‘date’ she had fibbed to him about. Well, it was scarcely important, she told herself, taking a deep breath as the front door closed behind them.
‘It was very kind of you to rescue me like that,’ she began, refusing to look at Piers, but all too aware of his dark, magnetic presence behind her, ‘but really I can make my own way home.’
‘Nonsense.’ Dulcie’s tone was brisk. ‘Of course we will give you a lift.’
‘Perhaps Miss Thorn is trying delicately to inform us that she would have preferred to accept Harry’s invitation,’ Piers put in smoothly. ‘After all, Mother dear, you didn’t actually give her any chance to respond.’
‘Selina loathes the man,’ his mother told him succinctly. ‘And don’t be so pedantic, Piers. I’m not a member of one of your juries you know. You didn’t want to go with Harry, did you, Selina?’
She was caught in a trap. If she told the truth she would be obliged to accept the lift that Dulcie had offered, and yet she could hardly be more unaware of Piers’ disinclination to give her a lift.
In the end she opted for the middle road. ‘I didn’t particularly want to go with Harry, no, but you really need not give me a lift. The tube is very convenient.’
‘There you are, Mother.’ Piers’ voice was oddly harsh. ‘Miss Thorn has as little liking for our company as she does the obnoxious Harry’s. And since she’s old enough to make her own decisions I suggest we allow her to do so.’
‘Piers, really!’
Selina could tell both from his mother’s expression and voice that she genuinely was embarrassed. Wanting to put her at her ease she said quickly, ‘No, really, Mr Gresham is quite right…I…’ She turned away and rushed down the drive, not wanting either of them to see the sudden sheen of tears she knew was in her eyes. Why did she never learn, she demanded fiercely of herself as she made her way home; why had she laid herself so open to his contempt and humiliation. She had known from the first what manner of man he was. Perhaps if she had not refused to dance with him in quite such strong terms they might…but no…he had openly admitted that he was suspicious of her, Selina reminded herself.
What had she let herself in for in giving in to the compulsion to know more of her father? It was too late to turn back and yet every instinct she possessed warned her to keep away from Piers Gresham; to avoid him at all costs. Unwittingly, she touched her mouth, withdrawing her fingers as though they burned when she realised what she was doing. Just for a moment she had been reliving the pressure of his mouth on hers; fierce and angry, communicating to her a thousand emotions too complex to analyse but which had somehow pierced all her barriers and distrust of his sex to provoke from her a physical response which still had the power to disturb her.
CHAPTER THREE
IT was several weeks before Selina saw Dulcie Gresham again, and then only by chance. She had slipped into a local record shop on impulse during her lunch hour, tempted inside by a window display which featured a Vivaldi recording she had coveted for a long time. Music was one of her great passions, and having just received her salary cheque there was no reason why she should not indulge herself a little.
Dulcie Gresham spotted her while she was studying the recordings on offer.
‘Selina, my dear,’ she exclaimed touching her lightly on the arm. ‘What a piece of good luck, I have been meaning to call in at chambers for some time to see you, but somehow or other other things have intervened. Ah, you are tempted by the Vivaldi I see. They’re having a brief season of his work at the Opera House soon. I’m a great Vivaldi fan myself, I don’t suppose you’d consider keeping me company there one evening?’
Selina knew she ought to refuse. Dulcie Gresham was her employer’s sister and the mother of a man who had been bluntly rude about his suspicions of her, and yet, half-bemused by the invitation, she heard herself accepting. She liked Dulcie Gresham; there was no getting away from it. She was a woman of her time, but she had a strength that Selina felt drawn to.
‘Good girl. I normally would have gone with Piers, but he’s very tied up with a new case at the moment.’ She gave Selina a thoughtful look. ‘I must apologise for his rude behaviour the other week.’
‘There’s really no need,’ Selina forced a smile. ‘I’m afraid the plain truth is that your son and I simply don’t get on.’
‘Umm…’ This time the look she gave Selina made the latter colour slightly defensively. ‘Yes, I’m afraid it is mutual, although in your son’s case his dislike of me is intensified by the fact that he’s decided my presence as Sir Gerald’s PA is motivated by some dark and sinister purpose.’
It was impossible not to keep a faint bitterness out of her voice and on the point of marvelling at how easy she found it to speak freely to this woman of all women, Selina was checked by the thread of amusement in her voice when she said solemnly, ‘You don’t say? Good heavens, he must have a far more inventive imagination than I ever dreamed. Seriously, my dear,’ she added gently, ‘I suspect a good deal of this antipathy that exists between you springs from nothing more than hurt male pride, although I’m sure he’d be furious to hear me say as much. My son prides himself on his logical mind; he tends to forget that he is as equally vulnerable to human emotions as the rest of us, unfortunately.’
Selina didn’t have much of her lunch hour left, and because hearing his mother talk about him to her in a way she knew he would resent made her feel acutely uncomfortable for some reason, she made her excuses and hurried back to the office.
Sir Gerald was out for lunch and she intended to make good use of his absence to catch up on her work. They had developed a good working relationship; she had discovered in him an ability to condense even the most complicated information in a way that made listening to him an education. There were times it was true when she was almost overwhelmed by the need to turn to him and tell him who she was, but she knew deep inside herself that she never would. She cherished the tenuous link of affection that was developing between them too much to hazard it by telling him the truth and seeing him withdraw from her. She had been right in thinking that applying for this post could cause her pain; and yet there was a joy mingled with that pain. She was learning to know the father she had never had as a child, and although sometimes she was contemptuous of herself for taking so much pleasure from so little she knew that if that link was severed now it would cause her to suffer.
When Sir Gerald returned Piers was with him. In her own mind now Selina had got used to calling her father ‘Sir Gerald’ and she responded warmly to his smile when he walked in, until she realised he wasn’t alone.
‘I want to go over the Hardwicke case with Piers,’ he told her. ‘There are several aspects of it that I’m not happy with. Could you bring us the file please, Selina. Oh, and I’d like you to stay and take a few notes.’
One of the first things Selina had done since starting her job had been to sort through the files. The wealth of legal documents and notices each one held was far too complex for Sue, the secretary, to be able to handle and now each file possessed a chart just inside the front cover, documenting its progress.
Piers frowned briefly when she placed the file on the desk between the two men. She had not seen much of him at all, much to her relief, but she could tell from the way his cool gaze rested on her for a second that he had not changed his mind about her; he still did not trust her. She moved the file closer to her father and in doing so tautened the fabric of her silk blouse across her breasts. Her movement had not been a provocative one and yet she was instantly aware of Piers’ attention switching from the file to her body. Anger fired throug
h her as she was forced to withstand his openly sexual appraisal of her, but she banked it down, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of provoking a response. It was far better to simply pretend that she was unaware of his scrutiny.
She thought she had succeeded until Sir Gerald excused himself from the office to go and give Sue a message for a client he was expecting. As soon as they were alone Piers lifted his eyes from the document he was studying and said, ‘What is it about my looking at you that makes you feel so uncomfortable I wonder?’
Infuriated both by his arrogant air of superiority and her own response to it she retaliated curtly, ‘That wasn’t discomfort it was annoyance—exactly the same annoyance you would feel were a woman to look at you in the way you were looking at me.’
‘Would I?’ His mouth curved cynically, ‘Who knows; perhaps if I were in your shoes I should feel flattered.’
Selina was so angry that she almost wanted to hit him. ‘Well if you were you’d be remarkably foolish,’ she told him crisply, ‘because there is nothing complimentary about being regarded as a sexual object.’
His eyebrows rose, and Selina could have sworn there was a tinge of amusement in his eyes. ‘Oh, is that what you thought I was doing?’ His voice was languidly soft; and she could well imagine the effect of that cool drawl on a pent-up witness. ‘I thought I was simply admiring the shape and firmness of your breasts.’
His effrontery took her breath away. How could he tell her one day that he mistrusted her, and then the next day talk about admiring her body? He could do it because he was an extremely devious man, Selina told herself. He had not forgotten their encounter in the restaurant; she was sure of that; and neither had he changed his opinion of her, so why then the deliberate attempt to overwhelm and disarm? Did he think to confuse her with signals that he found her sexually attractive, to such an extent that he could discover whatever it was he thought she was hiding. She almost laughed out loud. He had absolutely no chance.