by Penny Jordan
‘If you mean your uncle, then I’m not,’ Selina responded tensely. How could he be so calm after what had so nearly happened? Obviously men took a different view of sexual desire than women, but his cool acceptance of the fact that he had wanted her, however momentarily, surprised her.
‘No, you’re not are you,’ he agreed sardonically. ‘You realise don’t you that you haven’t even asked how he is, or why he is in hospital?’
‘You didn’t give me much chance, did you,’ she reminded him curtly, impelled by an inner pain she couldn’t contain to add bitterly, ‘I’m surprised you can take the whole thing so lightly, I should have thought I was the last person you’d find…attractive.’
‘Attractive?’ He actually laughed, albeit rather cynically, ‘My dear what a modest turn of phrase. “Attraction” isn’t what I feel for you Selina. An almost overpowering sexual hunger is more how I’d describe it.’ His precise dry voice grated on her oversensitive nerves.
‘And I suppose your legal mind will soon find a means of…’
‘…Reducing the problem to its component parts?’ he supplied for her with a cold smile. ‘My dear, I’ve already done so, and had vowed to give you an extremely wide berth, but tonight you caught me off-guard. Jet lag is notorious for undermining one’s self-will, and I’ve always been very close to my uncle…’
‘Meaning that what happened was my fault I suppose,’ Selina was practically on the point of exploding.
‘Well, you certainly didn’t try very hard to stop me.’
His eyes narrowed as he took in her flushed face and angry eyes, ‘And let’s not forget that I’m well aware that you have some secret purpose in working for my uncle. Women have been known to use sex as a weapon before…’
Oh, but he was insufferable, to dare to suggest…but what could she say? And even if she told him the truth, would it really make any difference? He was determined to dislike and distrust her. Well then, let him. Belatedly her pride came to her rescue and she tilted her chin firmly and stared coolly at him. ‘In other words, I’m still on trial,’ she mocked. ‘Well, be very careful, Mr Queen’s Counsel, because even you are not infallible.’
‘As tonight proved,’ he agreed cynically, ‘but don’t read too much into it, will you? Whatever your relationship with my uncle is, what happened between us was simply a one off. Do I make myself clear?’
‘As crystal,’ Selina affirmed, wondering desperately for how long she could stop herself from being sick.
His contempt and mockery were almost more than she could bear on top of the shock of learning that her father was in hospital… Her father… Guilt flooded her as she realised she had not yet discovered exactly what was wrong with him.
‘Sir Gerald,’ she began formally, ‘who is…what happened…?’
‘Now she asks.’ His smile was tormentingly unkind. ‘When I arrived here this evening he was complaining of slight chest pains. Last year he had warning of a possible heart attack and was told to take things easy—hence your employ. Knowing this I insisted on ringing his doctor, who very wisely, I suspect, decided to take no chances and got him straight into hospital for some checks. That was the hospital now to say that although there’s no immediate danger, they’re keeping him in overnight.’ He picked up his shirt, smiling sardonically as Selina averted her eyes. She had thought him a predator the first time she saw him and she knew she had been right. There was something untamed and savage about him that showed through the veneer of civilisation and she shivered slightly, knowing that something primitive deep inside herself responded to it.
‘I must go.’ Her voice was shaky. ‘I hope Sir Gerald will be all right.’ How stiff and formal she sounded, her emotions battered by Piers’ lovemaking; her heart and body vulnerable to him.
‘I’ll pass on your good wishes to his family.’ The cool voice dismissed her; excluding her as though from some charmed magic circle and she wanted to cry out. ‘He is my father too…I have the right…’ But she had no rights; her mother had abandoned those on her behalf when she had taken his conscience money. Biting her lip to stop herself from crying out her pain she headed for the door, her head held high.
It was only when she got home that the full repercussions from Sir Gerald’s condition hit her. With his uncle hospitalised, Piers had every logical reason to rid himself of her. What was the point in employing a PA for a man who could not work? Sir Gerald’s cases would no doubt be taken over by Piers himself as the only other QC in chambers and she would be redundant.
She woke early on Saturday morning, tense and ill at ease, longing to know how her father was and yet not daring to even try to find out. She could try and phone Piers’ mother, and yet her innate sense of morality would not let her. She would not go behind Piers’ back to make contact with his mother, even while her instincts told her that Dulcie would understand her need to know how Sir Gerald was.
On Saturday afternoon, still restless and unable to settle, she set off for Hampstead Heath, telling herself that a brisk walk might help to settle her nerves.
When she got back it was beginning to go dark. Her street was deserted, a solitary car parked outside the house. The car was familiar and her pace slowed, a deep, intense excitement building up inside her. Against all logic her hopes rose. Piers had come looking for her…
Reality intruded the moment he opened the car door and stepped out. The passionate lover of the previous evening was gone and in his place was the cold, distrustful man who had first accused her of having some ulterior purpose in working for his uncle.
‘So much for your supposed concern for my uncle,’ he greeted her as she reached him. ‘Where have you been? Cultivating another rich lover?’
The biting tone of his voice made her colour angrily. A denial trembled on her lips but she forced it back, suddenly achingly resentful that he couldn’t see past his prejudices and realise the truth. Seeing the truth was supposed to be his forte and yet where she was concerned… But supposing he did see the truth…supposing he were to realise…
‘I am sure you’ll be relieved to hear that my uncle is not in any immediate danger.’
‘Yes…yes, I am.’ She turned her head away so that he wouldn’t see her weak tears of relief. It was shattering to discover just how much her father had come to mean to her in so short a space of time. ‘Thank you for coming to tell me.’ Her voice was indistinct, muffled by the intensity of her feelings.
‘My mother thought you would be concerned.’
So it had been his mother’s suggestion that he come round; not his own idea. It was frightening how much that hurt.
‘Of course, there’s no question of him returning to chambers.’
He was enjoying twisting the knife inside her, Selina realised dully, raising pain-filled eyes to his dark face. ‘Then you’ll want to dispense with my services,’ she said emotionlessly.
‘I do,’ he agreed without smiling, ‘but it seems my uncle is concerned about your future—I wonder why?’ The wealth of cynical contempt in his voice lashed her already tender nerves, but there was no point in retaliating. ‘Do you respond as passionately to his lovemaking as you did to mine?’
‘We haven’t made love.’ Despite all her resolves her pain burst through her self-control, her voice husky with agony as she threw the denial at him.
‘You haven’t? No doubt that’s why he’s so insistent that you go down to Dorset with him.’ He registered her stunned expression and his mouth twisted in a bitter smile. ‘No, I don’t approve at all, but since his specialist says that on no account is he to be worried about anything, I have to give in to his wishes and transport you down there. It seems that an embargo on working is just as likely to promote a strain on his heart as doing too much, and his doctor has agreed that he can continue to work, but at a much reduced level, just as long as he does so from home. It seems that he does not consider it possible for him to do that without your valuable assistance. But let me warn you,’ he added, dropping all pretence
and letting her see the antagonism in his eyes, ‘if you make just one step out of line, I’ll have you out so fast your feet won’t touch the floor. Do I make myself clear?’
Dearly as Selina longed to throw the job in his face and tell him there was no way she was going down to Dorset, she knew she could not do so. It warmed her heart to know that her father wanted her with him, even if it was only as his hard-working assistant; and she wanted to be with him too; she was greedy for all the time she had missed; she wanted her father to like and respect her. The admission made her smile wryly. She had not changed from her adolescent self so much after all…she still craved the approval and affection of her absent parent.
‘Where do you go when you look like that?’ There was anger in his eyes and a certain bitter resentment that made her pulses race. Fight it though he did, he couldn’t entirely overcome his desire for her, but his unwilling desire was not what she wanted, and she fought back the temptation to arouse his anger to the point where he would be compelled to take her in his arms. A man who could only make love to her when he was driven beyond the limits of his self-control and who then derided himself for the weakness with bitter self-contempt was not what she wanted.
‘When am I to go to Dorset?’ she asked coolly, looking away from the hot anger in his eyes.
‘The end of next week.’ His voice was clipped, as though he were having to exercise intense self-control over himself. ‘That will give you time to go through the files and assemble everything you will need in Dorset. I’ll give you a list of the cases Sir Gerald will still take…’
‘You’ll be going to Dorset as well?’
His smile was vulpine. ‘Why? If I do which are you envisaging me as, Selina? Your gaoler, or your lover?’
‘Neither,’ she told him shakily.
His mocking, ‘Liar,’ brought a surge of colour to her skin, instantly betraying her.
‘I shall be joining the rest of my family there, yes,’ he agreed, ‘but not for another fortnight, when the summer recess begins. So don’t think you’ll be able to get away with anything, will you? Who knows,’ he added softly, ‘with time at my disposal I might even be able to find out that secret you’re so anxious to conceal from me, mightn’t I?’
CHAPTER SIX
WHEN Selina returned to the office after the weekend, it was to discover that everyone in the chambers seemed to have heard about Sir Gerald’s heart condition.
‘I half-expected something like this might happen,’ Sue confessed shortly after Selina had arrived. ‘I wonder what will happen now?’
Unwilling to gossip Selina said nothing. Clive Marsden, the junior barrister who normally accompanied Sir Gerald in court, also questioned her, but again she maintained a diplomatic silence.
‘No doubt Piers will assume command now,’ Clive commented idly. ‘After all, it’s been on the cards ever since he took sick. He is the natural choice, of course, but there could be some initial resentment from the older contingent.’
Although Sir Gerald and Piers were the only two Queen’s Counsel in the Chambers, there were four other senior barristers, all of whom were around their middle fifties, and she could see the logic of Clive’s comment.
‘I doubt Mr Gresham will let that worry him.’ Her voice was brittle and tense, and she wished she hadn’t spoken so thoughtlessly when she saw Clive’s face. ‘You don’t like him do you? Most unusual; the reason we don’t have any female junior barristers in training here is because Sir Gerald thinks they’d spend more time spooning over his nephew than they would working—and, of course, Piers himself wouldn’t want the complications it would cause.’
‘How very chauvinistic—of both of them,’ Selina snapped. ‘Sir Gerald and Piers Gresham might both think he’s God’s gift to women but…’
The expression on Clive’s face warned her what had happened before she swung round and found Piers watching her with ice-dark eyes that told her that he had overheard every word.
‘No work to do, Miss Thorn?’ he asked silkily. ‘Well we’ll have to do something about that won’t we? For the next week you’ll be working for me.’ He glanced at his watch, and for a moment Selina remembered the strength and male beauty of his body without its covering of impeccable tailoring. Her body shook treacherously. ‘Clive, perhaps you’d tell the other partners that I want to hold a meeting at 11.00 this morning. Anyone who can’t make it can let Miss Thorn know.’
‘I’m not your secretary,’ Selina told him curtly when Clive had gone.
‘No, we don’t use them in these chambers, apart from Sue, dictating machines and a typing unit are much more effective. I’d like to see my uncle’s diary, and then we’ll go through all the files. He’s given me a list of the ones you’ll need to take with you.’
Emotion broke through her self-control as she said huskily, ‘Oh you’ve seen him…how…’
‘He is as well as many men of his age could be expected to be when he suffers from a heart condition,’ he told her harshly. ‘There’s no need to act for my benefit,’ he added, ‘that limpid look of compassion and concern does not deceive me. One day I’m going to find out the truth about you, and when I do…’
‘You’ll use it as mercilessly against me as you do against your victims in court,’ Selina threw back at him bitterly, breaking off as she saw the savage twist of satisfaction glitter in his eyes.
‘So you admit it,’ he said silkily, ‘there is something you’re hiding from me?’
In this mood he frightened her, her senses responding against her will to the compelling magnetism of his voice and eyes. She could well understand how a witness in the box must feel when confronted by him; darkly imposing in his court robes; the wig and the black silk gown which were now so familiar to her on Sir Gerald, but which were somehow threatening whenever she pictured them on Piers.
He moved towards her and she reacted in blind panic, crying out, ‘Don’t touch me,’ as she backed away.
Her reaction was instinctive and immediately regretted, but it was too late. ‘I wasn’t going to,’ he said coolly, adding. ‘Why are you so afraid?’
‘What makes you think that I am?’
His mouth twisted in cynical mockery. ‘Because, my dear Selina, I can feel it, taste it, see it almost, every time I come near you.’
He was unstoppable, Selina thought half-hysterically, like some force that once unleashed could not be tamed. How different he was today from the man who had held her in his arms, his body shaking with the hunger of wanting to possess her. But then this morning he was punishing her for that hunger, she recognised intuitively and he would continue to savage her unmercifully until he felt that crime had been paid for.
‘I have to appear in court after lunch. You will come with me.’
‘I thought I was supposed to spend the week getting ready to join you…Sir Gerald.’
‘According to my uncle you already have all his files up to date. I thought you would appreciate the experience,’ he told her tauntingly. ‘According to Uncle Gerald you enjoy being in court.’
‘I’m surprised you’re prepared to let me do anything I enjoy,’ Selina thrust back at him. ‘What’s today supposed to be? Payment for allowing you to abuse my body?’
‘Bitch!’
His eyes were so dark, they were almost black, Selina noticed feverishly as he reached for her, the bruising pressure of his mouth on hers a savage assault on her senses. She tried to withstand it; to close her mind to his brutality and anger, but something stronger than her willpower rose up inside her and her lips parted in response to his bitter demand. The heat and weight of his body against her own impelled her backwards, her hands gripping the edge of her desk. What he was doing to her made her stomach churn in sickness, her senses forced to acknowledge that this bitter, contemptuous kiss was very different from those they had exchanged before.
When he eventually released her his eyes glittered narrowly over her flushed tense face. ‘That’s abuse,’ he told her flatly. She could
feel the weight of heavy tears pressing behind her eyelids, but she dare not let them fall. Just as she started to turn her head away he gripped her chin in his fingers, forcing her to remain where she was. ‘And just so that you do know the difference…’
She stared mutely at a point beyond his left shoulder, knowing he was not going to permit her to move and praying that her body would not betray its fear by trembling, but this time the touch of his mouth on hers was warm and gentle, its subtle pressure inducing a languor and pleasure that made her shiver tremulously. His tongue stroked her lips, parting them to taste the moist inner sweetness of her mouth. She ached to return the kiss, to press herself along the length of his body and caress him with all the feverish desire he was building inside her, but pride held her motionless, her lashes dropping to conceal any betraying emotions her eyes might reveal, as he gently released her.
‘The defence rests its case.’
Selina heard him laugh as she refused to look at him. His thumb brushed across the outline of her bruised mouth and she tensed instinctively. ‘You can’t cross swords with me and hope to win, Selina—remember that,’ he warned her softly.
She didn’t move until she was sure he was gone, tensing every muscle in her body against the waves of pain threatening to break over her.
Although Selina wasn’t involved in the partner’s meeting she caught the shock waves when she returned to the office after lunch. Several of the girls from the typing unit were clustered in the reception area, talking in low voices when she walked in and one of them broke away from the group when she saw Selina. ‘Is it true about Sir Gerald retiring and Piers Gresham taking over?’ she asked Selina.
‘I’m not sure if Sir Gerald actually plans to retire, but yes, at least for the present Mr Gresham will take over from him,’ Selina agreed. Now that the partners had been told Sir Gerald’s decision there seemed little point, to Selina’s mind, in keeping the truth a secret.
‘That will cause a few feathers to fly,’ one of the other girls remarked acidly. ‘After all, he is the youngest senior barrister in chambers.’