by Teisha Mott
"But he should go with you!" Bianca stated. "That is a daddy's job."
"He is the father, not the daddy, and he's not coming!" Samantha insisted. She glared at Andie. "And you watch what will happen with the two of us if you run and tell him about this appointment."
Andie rolled her eyes.
It had been three weeks before, Samantha recalled, and she had her second Appointment with Dr Creary. Jeremy had been badgering her, wanting to know when the appointment was, because he wanted to go with her, but Samantha wouldn't tell him. After a few days of constant hounding, Samantha had told him that the appointment was on Monday, June 23 at 3 in the afternoon. Upon hearing that, Jeremy thought he would profit from the weekend and go to Montego Bay to spend some time with his mother and sister. He had to split his time equitably between them and Samantha. He also needed to get some more clothes, and, of course, after crashing on Nathan's sofa bed for a month, he really longed to sleep in a real bed. He told Samantha that he would leave for Montego Bay on Friday morning and come back to Kingston on Monday morning with enough time to take her to Dr Creary. Samantha had just smiled to herself. What Jeremy did not know was that the appointment was actually Friday, June 20 at 11am. Jeremy would be strapped into the Air Jamaica express plane on his way to Mobay when she was being examined by Dr Creary.
The only person she shared her scheme with was Andie, because she thought that as her sister, previous behaviour notwithstanding, would have kept her confidence. That, Samantha realised, was a quantum leap of logic on her part. She had exited Dr Creary's exam room, properly traumatised after being 'felt up' by this strange woman with a permanent grin on her face, and that grating singsong voice, not to find her sister waiting for her, but a very incensed Jeremy. Samantha recalled that she had been a little bit scared and a little bit turned on when she saw those muscles clenching in his jaw. He was hotter angry than vulnerable, she noted. Looked like the kind of man who could well star next to, and possibly out-hunk Will Smith, in Bad Boys 2. He moaned at her all the way back to Norbrook, telling her how selfish she was, and how she had made him waste his plane ticket to Montego Bay, and demanding why she would not let him be a part of Sebastian's life. She did not respond to him, just read her 'What to Expect when you are Expecting' all the way home, which only pissed him off more. She was glad he was pissed off. Maybe now he would go home and leave her alone. And she had certainly ripped into Andie when she had learned that Jeremy was actually on his way to the airport when Andie had called and told him to turn back. Samantha could not understand why Andie talked so much. Was it because she had not learned to talk until she was almost three, so she was making up for lost time? Well, one thing was certain - Jeremy had moxie, if nothing else, because he was still there!
"Well, you know when you go at 18 weeks, all the little parts are in place, so Dr Creary can tell you whether it is a boy or a girl, right?" Bianca informed her.
“I know that, and I am very excited, and I don't want Jeremy along spoiling the moment, so that is why, Andie, I am warning you that if you tell him, I will kill you!"
"Because you kill people now?" Andie rolled her eyes. "What you going to do with my body when you are done? Eat it?"
"You really want to test me?"
Andie rolled her eyes again. She was not promising Samantha anything. She had been a loyal sister for much of this fiasco, and her loyalty had gotten her into trouble, and now, instead of the Upper West Side apartment that she and her cousin Margaux who was starting Parsons School of Fashion Design in the fall, had been talking about since January, she was banished to live under the close supervision of Aunt Phoebe. As of now, she decided, all bets were off, and the only person she was going to be loyal to was Sebastian. Even if it meant being killed and eaten by Samantha.
Sooner rather than later, Samantha was going to have to accept the fact that Jeremy was there to stay, and since the role of 'sensible one' was now passed to her, Andie decided she was going to do everything in her power to make it happen. Andie recalled how almost three years before, when she had broken up with Nathan, Samantha had plotted and schemed to get them back together. That was what sisters did, and now it was her turn to plot and scheme to bring Samantha together with Jeremy. There must be something there, she told Nathan. Something more than tequila and lust. People did not argue like they did unless there was something there. They just needed to curb their passion in the right direction, and Sebastian was the perfect catalyst to guide them along. And if in the process she got killed by Samantha? Well, then her parents could write on her epitaph 'killed by sister for doing the right thing'. At least it would make her sound noble!
179
Just Perfect!
chapter nine
July 28
“Indian or Chinese?” Nathan Hansen waved the two take-out flyers in front of Jeremy while simultaneously kicking his feet off the coffee table. It was hard to believe that the one night he had grudgingly offered to get Andie off his case, had turned into almost two months. Jeremy was turning out not to be such a bad roommate, though, Nathan decided. He was neat - having been partially raised by his grandmother, whose mantra was 'Cleanliness is next to Godliness', Nathan was a stickler for neatness. Jeremy kept the apartment stocked with juice and snacks, and Nathan also thought it was nice to have someone to talk to apart from Andie. Micah used to be his best friend, but after he had dumped Samantha and started shacking up with that creepy Ronica, they had kinda fallen out of touch. Sometimes he hung out with Bianca's boyfriend, Tevin, but Tevin was a year younger than he was, and took himself far too seriously. Plus, these days, Tevin had no time for anyone except himself and Bianca when she could find the time for him. He had graduated from University of the West Indies St. Augustine campus in 2002, and had immediately started the MBA full time at Mona School of Business. MSB lasted sixteen months. He should finish at the end of summer, and now that the end was drawing near, it was becoming really intense. It seemed these days, all Tevin did was go to class, write papers and talk about the papers he was writing. Nathan recalled being bored stiff of him at Grandpa's party the other night, as he went on about his Entrepreneurial project, and kept taking calls from his team mates who resented him for taking one night off. Nathan would have probably strangled him if the party hadn't ended in riot after Jeremy confessed to Phillip about Samantha and the baby.
It was nice, Nathan had to admit, living with Jeremy. They had shared a room for the first two years of undergraduate, and Jeremy was entertaining to say the least. This was like Jeremy 1.1 - an updated, grown-up version, who didn't see the need to act like a perfect dickhead all the time, and Nathan found that he actually liked this version. He could be best friends with this version. Now, if only he could break him out of the nasty habit he had of putting his feet on the furniture...
“You know that now, the baby is covered with hair on his back and shoulders and forehead?" Jeremy asked not responding to the question about dinner. “It's just to keep him warm though. He's not an ape or anything!"
Nathan frowned. "Really? How you know that?"
"It says it here on pregnancy.com!" Jeremy motioned to the open page on his MacBook. "And it also says that he is making facial expressions! He can squint and grimace and wince...Wicked, don't?"
Nathan looked at him. "Really? You really siddown reading pregnancy.com?"
"Well, yeah. I have to know what is happening. And since the mother she insist on excluding me from everything, I better do my best to keep myself informed. Look what I bought today!" He held up his brand new copy of 'What to Expect When You're Expecting'. "Samantha has one but she won’t let me look at it. And I also got 'Fatherhood' by Bill Cosby."
Nathan struppsed his teeth. "This baby thing turning you into a real prekkeh, you know that, right? All I telling you is that you better not let me turn on my TV and find it on 'Baby Story'!"
"It would suit you well to start reading up from now so you know what to expect when Andie gets pregnant!" Jeremy warned.
Nathan flipped through 'Fatherhood' by Bill Cosby. It seemed to be a better choice than ''What to Expect When You're Expecting'. He didn't think it was likely he would come across anything potentially traumatising in that one.
"Me and Andie have long to wait before we even start looking at baby!" He stated. "And if I were you, I would hold the laptop away from your area before you ruin any chances of a second one!"
"Oh please! Isn't it obvious that my virility knows no bounds?" Jeremy stated smugly.
"The only thing obvious is that you are a fool who can't use a rubber right!" Nathan bit. "Now what you want to eat? Chinese or Indian?"
"Here is a novel idea: you have a fridge and a stove. Why you don't go cook something? You expect to subsist for the rest of your life on fast food and Theresa's leftovers?"
"Whatever!" Nathan rolled his eyes. "Favour yuh nuh hungry!" He stepped over Jeremy's legs, that had somehow made their way back to his coffee table and grabbed the cordless phone. Chinese it was, he decided. He had half a mind to order only enough for one and let Jeremy 'go cook'.
"What the hell...!"
"What?" Nathan finished placing his order. He had fifteen minutes to kill before driving up to The Marketplace to pick up their dinner.
"It says here that about now the baby should have started to move!" Jeremy looked at his friend. "You don't think he would have moved and Samantha hide it from me, do you?"
“I don’t know…” Nathan thought it was absolutely possible, but saying that to Jeremy would not be useful. In any event, he knew it hadn't moved. If it had, Andie would have told him. He glanced at the list of articles Jeremy was scanning. "'Sex in the second trimester'. Well, there’s one you don't have to worry about!"
Jeremy sighed, not seeing any humour in the situation although Nathan was grinning. "She doesn't want me to do anything for her! She won’t even let me touch her belly. If it was up to her alone, Sebastian would think that I don't want anything to do with him. I wonder sometimes if we actually did anything in the first place for her to get pregnant!"
Nathan once more nudged his legs off the table. "How are the mighty fallen!" He declared. "The big man round town can't get the girl!"
"Can you imagine!" Jeremy shook his head. "On a normal day I have women throwing themselves at me, and I am here chasing down the only one playing hard to get!"
"I don’t think she is playing hard to get," Nathan disagreed. "I think she genuinely doesn’t like you!"
Jeremy scoffed. "Very helpful Nate!"
"Well, you are the one reading all the baby books!" Nathan pointed out. "You should know that you cannot argue with pregnant women. They aren't rational. You just need to give her space."
"All I have been doing is giving her space. If I give her any more space, I will be in space!"
Nathan sighed. "Want me to talk to her for you?"
"You can try if you want to end up on her ‘axis of evil’!" Jeremy told him. "Anybody who takes up for me turns into her enemy!"
"You're being paranoid!" Nathan reached over to answer the ringing phone. "Hello?"
"Nate, it's Andie. Let me talk to Jeremy!"
Nathan frowned. "Why are you whispering?"
"Because if Sammy catches me, she's going to eat me!"
"What?"
"Just let me talk to Jeremy!"
Nathan passed over the phone.
"Andie?"
"Jeremy?" Andie paused to make sure that Samantha wasn't in their bathroom or her bedroom. "Jeremy what are you doing tomorrow?"
Jeremy frowned. "I was going to go to the office with your father..."
"No!" Andie shook her head, feeling like she was in an espionage movie. "Get to the house tomorrow morning about 10-ish. Can you do that?"
"Why? What's going on?"
"Samantha is going to Dr Creary. Tomorrow is ultrasound day. Bianca said perhaps she could hear whether the baby is a girl or a boy!"
"She's what?
"I said..."
"I heard what you said, Andie. She really pulling this rubbish on me again!" Jeremy was getting angry. He started pacing the living room. "Of all the sneaky, selfish, underhanded.... What the hell is wrong with her?"
"My mother says you can't try to be rational with a pregnant woman," Andie told him, and Jeremy wondered whether Nathan knew more about pregnancy than he was letting on.
"This is not being irrational. This is just downright bad-mindedness!" Jeremy growled. "Watch me and her tomorrow!"
"Just don't let her know I told you or I won’t live to see my nephew." Andie reminded him. "I have to go... I think she's back. See you tomorrow."
She hung up before Jeremy could say another word.
"Can you believe her?" Jeremy raged.
"What?" Nathan asked.
"She's going to see the doctor again tomorrow and still didn't tell me. And to make matters worse, she is going to hear if it is a girl or a boy! You still think I'm paranoid?"
Nathan made a face. That was harsh, even for Samantha.
"That evil - evil - evil woman!" Jeremy refrained from using the word he really thought fitting to describe the mother of his future child, and the girl he unfortunately still had a crush on.
"So what you going to do?"
"I am going to go over there tomorrow and tell her where it's at!" Jeremy decided. "Is full time I put down my foot and end this crap, man!"
"I hear you!" Nathan murmured. He reached for the car keys. "Well, if you going to tek on Samantha, you going to need strength, so follow me go pick up the food."
"What you ordered?"
"Chinese!"
"Why?" Jeremy asked, forcing his feet into his size thirteen Nikes. "You shoulda ask me before. I was kinda feeling for Indian!"
***
“Samantha, don’t run!” Nursey chastised, as Samantha bounded down the back stairs and to the kitchen. “Suppose you fall and hurt yourself?”
“Sorry Nursey!” Samantha apologised, quickly slowing to a walk.
“You will be even sorrier if one day you come tumbling head over heels down the stairs and pop your neck and hurt your baby!” Nursey continued to scold.
Samantha rolled her eyes. Ever since the morning she had woken up and noticed that her belly had popped into a nice little bump, Nursey had started to get territorial. She couldn't do anything. She couldn't run or walk fast or sit in the sun, or stand near the microwave. Nursey had already decided that she would be taking care of Sebastian, and God help her if he did not come out perfect!
The only person in the house who was annoying her more than Nursey was Christopher. He suddenly appeared out of nowhere and grabbed her baby bump with two hands.
"Morning, Sebastian!" He yelled. "Here is a joke! 'What washes up on tiny beaches? Microwaves. Get it? Micro - waves! Hahahahaha!"
"Christopher, for God's sake, stop shouting foolishness into her belly before you deafen the baby!" Nursey scolded. "You ready for me to drop you at summer school?"
"Just one minute, Nursey!" Christopher yelled. "I just have to get my bag!" He hopped up the stairs, still cracking up.
"He better do well in school!" Samantha noted, reaching into the fridge for a slice of watermelon. "Cause if he plans to be a comedian, he will have to depend on his trust fund to eat. Do you know where Andie is, Nursey? We have to get going..."
"Andie isn't going with you. I am!"
Samantha almost dropped her slice of watermelon when she saw a very angry Jeremy standing in the kitchen.
"What the hell are you doing here?" She spluttered.
"You were really going to sneak off to Dr Creary without me again, Samantha?" He raged. He noticed Nursey. "Morning, Nursey."
"Morning, handsome!" Nursey replied, and Samantha wanted to punch her. She would punch Nursey, then she would definitely punch Andie. It must have been Andie who told Jeremy about today’s appointment. After she told her not to. That little brat was certainly working her nerves.
"I am not sneaking anywhere! I have an
appointment, and I am going to be late, so excuse me!"
"Not sneaking anywhere?" Jeremy repeated. "I told you to let me know when the next appointment is and you didn't tell me. Of course you are sneaking!"
"Try to keep up, Jeremy!" Samantha snapped. "The appointments are once per month until week thirty, every two weeks till week thirty-seven and every week till it comes. I thought you had an MBA. Surely you can count months!"
Before Jeremy could respond, Christopher ran down the stairs. "Hey, Jeremy! You want to hear a joke?"
"Now is not a good time, Christopher!" Nursey said, pushing him out the back door.
"But Nursey..."
"Try don’t come to blows in Theresa's kitchen!" Nursey warned the two angry young people as she left behind Christopher.
"Look, Sam, this joke is really wearing thin right about now!" Jeremy stated.
"I know, so why don't you bow out?" Samantha retorted. "I have important things to deal with, like making sure my baby stays healthy. So if you will excuse me, I'm going to be late for my appointment."
"Our baby!" Jeremy reminded her.
"Unfortunately!" She turned to leave the kitchen.
Jeremy held on to her arm. "Don't walk away from me when I am talking to you!"
She shrugged away, resisting the urge to shove him or punch him. She was saving all her shoving and punching energy for Andie. "Don't touch me!"
"I don't want to touch you. I have never felt less like touching a woman in all my life!" Okay, so that was not exactly true as a general statement, but right now it worked. "I don't care that you don't like me. I honestly don't like you very much these days either, but you cannot keep doing this. You have to start including me!"
"I don't have to do anything!" Samantha seethed. "Leave me alone. I am going upstairs for my bag and my car keys, and when I come back down you had better be gone!"
She stomped her way up the stairs, but instead of going to her room, she went to Andie's and threw the door open. Andie was not in there. She was not in the bathroom either. Clearly, she had gone into hiding.