by Teisha Mott
"I am not leaving, Sam!" Jeremy insisted. "You are as high as a kite if you think I am going to sit outside and cross my fingers and hope that everything is okay. I said I am staying right here. The end!"
Samantha was getting desperate. It was a Hail Mary moment. "But I'm going to be naked!"
Jeremy looked at her. "Samantha, you arenot going to be naked. And even if you were, I’m the one who got you pregnant. That suggests I've seen you naked before, and trust me, I haven't forgotten how anything looks!"
In one fluid movement Samantha reached over and slapped the magazine from his hands. "Ass!"
"Still not waiting outside!" Jeremy hopped off the exam table and retrieved his magazine, and ignored the death glare Samantha gave him.
She was wondering whether she should kick him when Dr Creary came in, all smiles as usual.
“Hello, hello, hello!” She sang. “How are we doing today?”
“Fine!” They replied in unison.
Dr Creary’s smile grew wider, if possible. “I was actually asking mommy to be, but I’m glad to know that you're hanging in there too! I assume you're the daddy?"
"Yes, Jeremy Malcolm." Jeremy offered his hand. "Nice to meet you."
“This is a very exciting time for you both!” Dr Creary sang, and Jeremy looked at her, wondering what was that voice. That could never be her real voice. She sounded like how he imagined one of Hugh Hefner’s girls would sound if she was teaching Kindergarten. He wondered where he had used all his machismo for the day, or whether he had the right to ask Samantha to get a different doctor – one that did not sound like an under aged porn star.
“Well, I’m excited,” Jeremy agreed, deciding not to focus on her voice. She was a consultant at the University Hospital, Bianca had told him, and apparently she knew what she was doing, judging from all the photos of reasonably healthy looking babies that were tacked to her bulletin board. Unless she was in the Guinness Book of World Records for the most live births, he had to assume that those were the babies she had successfully delivered. He stepped back out of her way so she could do her job and make sure his baby was going to be tacked to the board too.
“So everything looks in order!” Dr Creary commented, reading Samantha’s chart. “Blood work is fine, urine… You have gained five pounds…”
Samantha winced. That was more than a pound a week since her last visit. Maybe Bianca was right. Maybe she should take it easy on the chocolate and French fries. She did not want to have to lose more weight that was necessary after the baby came. Already Grandma Joyce was on her case for being too fat.
“I don’t have daddy’s blood type on file.” She noted.
“I’m O negative,” Jeremy told her. “Why? Is Samantha going to need a transfusion?”
“No, no, no, no, no…” Dr Creary replied, making a note on Samantha’s chart. Her voice raised one pitch higher with each 'no'. "Samantha is B negative, so if you were Rh positive, the baby would be at risk for Rh disease, but you're compatible, so no worries here!"
Samantha looked at him. "You sure you're O negative?"
"I know my blood type, Samantha!"
"Of course you do!" Samantha stated snarkily. "No doubt you would have learned it having gone through a myriad of tests for STDs!"
"Don't bright yourself with me!" Jeremy retorted. "I know my blood type because I am a donor, and a universal donor at that. I can potentially save your life!"
"Ok, dogs delight to bark and bite, not the mommy and daddy!" Dr Creary sang, and Samantha wanted to punch her. "Furthermore, we mustn't argue in baby's hearing. Baby needs calm!"
Jeremy resisted the urge to scoff. If she had any idea how much arguing 'baby' heard and was exposed to on a daily basis, she would take off her white coat and go join Hef in the playboy mansion, where her voice truly belonged.
He tried to follow as Samantha and Dr Creary started discussing baby stuff. They spoke about movements -- Samantha had not lied to him. She indeed had not felt anything yet. But Dr Creary insisted that was normal, and she would feel movement soon enough. They spoke about contractions, Samantha's nosebleeds, which, surprise, surprise, he knew nothing about, and then, what he thought were definitely 'feminine issues' -- issues that he really did not need to hear about. Maybe Samantha had been right, and he should have waited in the reception area. After all, he was less useful than the potted plant in the corner of the room. No one addressed any questions to him, or was even paying him any attention. He wondered how long it would be before they would get to the actual ultrasound.
"Alrighty then!" Dr Creary declared. "Lie back, mommy, let us take a look at baby. Daddy, don't sulk in the corner like that. We aren't five years old. Come over here and stand next to mommy."
Jeremy obeyed, wondering why she always had to speak in the first person plural. Really, she was way too bubbly for her own good, and she needed to start referring to them by their real names -- Samantha and Jeremy -- instead of 'mommy' and 'daddy'.
Samantha lay back, as Dr Creary lifted her dressing gown. Nothing more than necessary was exposed, and Samantha was relieved. Although, it was really was silly to feel self-conscious, even if she was exposed. As Jeremy had reminded her, he had seen her in a greater state of undress when he had gotten her pregnant.... She looked at him. He didn't seem bothered by anything at the moment. In fact he appeared to be mesmerised by the gel-like substance that Dr. Creary was smoothing all over her belly and the strange looking wand object that she held in her hands.
"Will we be able to tell if it is a girl or a boy?" Samantha asked.
"Yes, siree, we can, just as long as he or she is cooperative! Do you have a preference?"
"Not really," Samantha told her. "My sister and brother are positive it's going to be a boy. They named him Sebastian."
"And what about you, Jeremy? Most men prefer little boys."
Jeremy was stunned. First she had called him by his name, and second she was actually including him.
"I don't care either way. As long as it is healthy!"
"And cute!" Samantha added with a smile. "Our baby has to be cute!"
"Well, from the looks of both of you, 'not cute' is absolutely off the table!" Dr Creary commented. She motioned towards the ultra sound machine. "Take a look at that..."
Samantha gasped when she saw her baby on the screen. This time, he did look like a baby, not little wavy lines, like the picture she had on her dressing table, but a real live baby! Contrary to the dreams she had leading up to today, she was not having a mutant. He didn't look like the cute baby on the front of Jeremy's magazine, but still, he looked fairly normal!
“Is that him?” Jeremy whispered, his eyes wide with wonder, having never seen a baby on an ultrasound before. He took Samantha’s hand.
“Yes, siree!” Dr Creary answered, her smile getting bigger and bigger. “There is his head ... and his nicely formed spine .... and his little limbs and trunk have caught up to his head.... Look, he's sucking his thumb!"
Samantha blinked back tears that threatened to spill from her eyes. Her baby was a thumb sucker! She had been a thumb sucker too, up to about six... Then she had needed braces. She was going to have to think about braces for her baby!
"And that little black spot is his stomach ... and of course, his heart right there…”
“Is it supposed to be beating so fast?” Jeremy asked. “Is he frightened or something?”
“No, Jeremy, it’s fine!” Dr. Creary assured him. "146 beats per minute."
“He is really little!” Samantha said. “Is he supposed to be so little?”
Dr Creary was busy measuring and calling out figures to Belinda, who wordlessly noted them down. Samantha had been so taken up with the image of her baby that she did not even notice when Belinda had re-entered the room.
“He is five and a half inches long, which is perfectly the right size for his age, and … Oh dear me!” Her smile fell.
Samantha snapped to attention. She squeezed Jeremy’s hand. “What? What�
��s the matter? Is something wrong with him?”
“No, no, no, but…” Dr Creary looked at the picture again.
“But what?” Jeremy began to get visions of a two headed baby with no limbs. But the baby had limbs. Dr. Creary had pointed them out. And he had one head.… What was the matter with Sebastian? Why did Dr Creary say ‘Oh dear me’?
"Your sister and brother will be very disappointed!" If she smiled any wider her face was going to split in two. She pointed to the image again. "See those three white lines? Those mean you're having a little girl!"
***
July 31
"It's a girl! It's a girl!" Andie screamed excitedly. A few of Gauchos patrons actually turned to look, and she quickly lowered her head and her voice. Doubtlessly, she had just proffered material for the next edition of TATTLER. "Sorry, Sammy, but I am so excited! It's a girl!"
It was Thursday, and Nathan's second to last day as a free man. On Monday, he would be starting his job at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs. Andie had insisted on a celebratory lunch at their favourite meeting spot, Gauchos Grill, and attendance was mandatory. That meant Klao had to drive in from Montego Bay -- not a problem, Klao declared. It's not like she was doing anything important anyway -- Bianca had to slip away from school, and Tevin had to come out of hibernation and spend a couple hours with other people apart from his study group at Mona School of Business. They all needed to be there to send Nathan off into the world of nine-to-five, monthly salary and taxes. Also, she wanted to announce to the others that the baby was a girl. Unfortunately, she had also managed to announce it to the entire lunch time crowd at Gauchos Grill.
However, Samantha was more amused than annoyed. "I thought you wanted a nephew!"
"That's before I knew it was a girl!" Andie couldn't help it. She clapped gleefully. "I'm going to have a little niece. We can name her Natasha!"
Samantha was just as excited as her sister. She was going to be a mommy! Somehow, seeing her baby on the ultrasound had flipped her maternal switch into the ‘on’ position. All she could think about was being a mommy, and taking care of her little girl. Her very own little girl! Whenever she imagined her little girl, her heart would sing. That was the best news Dr Creary could have given her. Deep down inside, she had really, really wanted a girl. A cute little girl, made of sugar and spice and everything nice. Not that she would not have loved her little boy, but from day one, while Andie and Christopher and Jeremy, though he would not admit it, were talking about Sebastian, she was having visions of little pink dresses and dolls and doing hair. She was good at doing hair. "I would like to reserve the right to decide on a name for my daughter, and I’ve already decided to call her Caitlin!"
Jeremy looked at her, digging into her chicken and Mandarin oranges salad. "So I don't get a say?"
"You already have a say, Jeremy!" Samantha told him. "She’s getting your last name!"
"Wow! You are too kind!" Jeremy declared sarcasm dripping from his voice. "However can I thank you?"
"No thanks necessary!" Samantha noted his sarcasm but decided not to acknowledge it. “I mean, how cute is that? Little Caitie Malcolm’!”
“Suppose I don’t like my child being called ‘little Caitie Malcolm’?” Jeremy asked. “Suppose I had another name in mind?”
“Well, that would be your problem! Her name is Caitlin!”
"C'mon, yo!" Bianca interjected. "Didn't Dr Creary tell you that she can hear things now? You better cut out the arguing, or she is going to come out disturbed!"
That thought had crossed Jeremy's mind too. It had been a few days since the ultrasound. She had allowed him to hold her hand, and had not pulled away. It seemed as though seeing the baby together, and learning together that it was a girl had changed something in her. In fact, for a few priceless moments, after they had left Dr Creary, he was positive it had. They had laughed and talked like normal people. They had taken lunch at La Fa, and poured over the pictures of their new baby. It had been nice.... When they were alone, she was always nice to him, like they were friends, but the moment they were around her cousins, she would become cool again, as if she did not want anyone to know she was being nice. And sometimes, she went right back to being unkind -- like now, when she had gone ahead and picked a name for their child without even consulting him. Jeremy wondered how long she was going to be having these mood swings. He hoped they wouldn’t last much longer, because July was pretty much over. That meant it was almost time to go back to New York, and he really wanted them to be proper friends before he left.
"So have you felt her move yet?" Tevin asked. It had been a while since he had seen Samantha - not since the night of Grandpa's birthday - and he was a bit perplexed to see how she had changed. Her belly had popped right out, and she looked much darker. Not to say that she was no longer pretty. It was impossible for Samantha not to be pretty, but she looked really, really different.
"No, she hasn't moved," Samantha frowned. "I don't know what she is waiting on..."
"What is it supposed to feel like when she moves?" Klao asked.
"I don't know..."
"Then how can you know that she hasn't moved? Maybe she has, and you didn't notice because you don't know what to feel for."
Huh. Samantha looked at her cousin. Klao made a good point. She tried to recall if she had felt anything strange that could be classified as movement. One night, she had eaten an entire pineapple, and as she lay in bed, she could feel some weird rumblings, but it had turned out to be gas... And another day, Jeremy had come over, and was swimming with Andie and there was some definite fluttering happening, but that was just because she was a bag of raw hormones, and Jeremy looked so, so good in his swim trunks....
Bianca was saying something to her.
"What?"
"I said, the literature says it should feel like bubbles, or butterflies or even gas," Bianca repeated. "And in any case you should feel it in the next couple of weeks. And when she gets really, really big and has no more space to move around, it will be like she is karate chopping you!"
"I can’t wait!" Samantha confessed.
"And you are going to tell me the instant she moves, okay?" Jeremy reminded her.
His hand was covering hers, and there were those flutterings again. Was that it? No, it was her being silly because Jeremy was touching her. She surreptitiously pulled her hand away, and pretended to fix her hair.
"‘Caitlin’ is cute,” Andie decided, after thinking about it for a while. “Not exactly ‘Natasha’, but it can work. Have you registered yet for the childbirth classes that Mommy told you about?"
"You're taking classes?" Jeremy pounced immediately.
"Yes, my mother signed me up for child birth classes. She said, in theory, it will help to prepare me for labour…” She noticed he was starting to get mad, and when he got mad, he turned into 'The Incredible Hunk'.
"So why didn't you tell me?"
"Because last time I checked, you were not the one who is going to go through labour!"
"But isn't the coach supposed to go to the classes too?" Jeremy looked at Bianca for professional - or somewhat professional - support. Bianca only shrugged, deciding not to be a part of that fight.
"Yes, but you are not the coach!"
And there was the macho scowl. Good Lord, this one came with clenched jaws and pronounced the dimple in his chin. Yum, yum, yum! Talk about death by chocolate!
"Of course I am going to be the coach! The father is the coach!"
"The father is the coach!" Samantha mocked, in a voice that did not sound like Jeremy's.
"Do not mock me! And I don't sound like that!"
"Good God!" Tevin shook his head. "All the two of you ever do is argue!"
"Welcome to our world, Tevin!" Klao took a bite from her sundae. "Samantha, let him be the coach if he wants to be the coach!"
Samantha shook her head. Jeremy was so accustomed to fighting her on everything that he couldn't even see when she was making rational sense. "Jeremy you
are leaving in a month. How do you plan to stay in New York and coach me here?"
"Well, I can at least go with you while I'm here, and when I go back to New York I can take daddy classes, so I will be prepared to be the coach!"
"Distant education coaching?" She questioned. "That doesn’t even make sense! I want a coach who is right here. Suppose Caitlin comes before you come home for Christmas?"
"She won’t!"
"Because you are psychic now? Where is your crystal ball and head tie, Miss Cleo?"
"Make them stop, Bianca!" Tevin moaned.
"Close your ears to it, baby!" Bianca instructed. "That's how we all survive!"
"I thought this lunch was about me going to work on Monday!" Nathan interjected. "Not round four hundred and ninety five of Sammy vs J-Man!"
"Well, he's the one being ridiculous!" Samantha pointed out. "He can't be the coach. He isn't going to be here. What's the point?"
"The point is that I'm the father, and as the father I have the right to come to the classes and be the damn coach!"
"And as the mother, I’m going to need all the moral support possible when the time comes from a coach who is actually there!”
"And as the Uncle, I really would prefer being up at business school fighting with my team mates over our Business Strategy project!" Tevin commented. "If I pay for lunch, can I leave?"
"Not unless you are taking me with you!" Nathan told him.
"The two of you are ruining lunch!" Andie snapped. "Just stop now, for crying out loud. Good Lord! Why did I raise the stupid classes in the first place?"
"I don't know Andie!" Samantha glared at her. "Why did you?"
"Because if she hadn't, once again you would have set out on your selfish path of excluding me from everything!" Jeremy stated.
"Oh for goodness sake!" Samantha was officially bored with this argument. In fact, she was bored with all the arguments. "You know what Jeremy? Be the damn coach! Come to all the classes. As a matter of fact, you sure you don't want to carry the baby too? Sure you don't want to be subjected to dry skin and acne and stretch marks and back pain, then go into labour and push her out when the time comes?"