by Teisha Mott
Micah was still was not sure how Ronica had managed to convince him to break up with her. One day he was trolling the internet, looking for affordable flights to go spend her birthday with her in New York, the next day he was telling her that he did not love her anymore, with Ronica standing over him. Samantha had cried. He thought he might cry too, when he heard her crying. She had begged him not to break up with her. She had broken his heart a little bit that night, and he might have reneged, but then Ronica had made him hang up. She was his girlfriend now, she had informed him. Then she had done things to him that Samantha would have never, ever done… And she had continued to do them until the last day of exams when she had packed up her things, moved off Rex Nettleford Hall, presumably back to Antigua without saying a word to him.
That had been four months ago, and there was not a day that Micah did not regret making that phone call. He was a weak, seedless man. Breaking up with Samantha was the worst mistake he had ever made in his entire life. Not only breaking up with her, but emailing her the day after her birthday to tell her he hoped she was over him. Well, clearly she was over him. She had gotten over him in record time. He recalled the last time he had seen her. She had been in Nathan’s flat. She had not looked sad. She had looked stunning as she always did… He had kissed her cheek, and she smelled like coconut... She had greeted him, and had even been polite to Ronica, as though they were all old friends. He knew Samantha must have known about Ronica. He knew Andie. Andie’s tongue was fast and loose. No way she would not have told her sister that he was seeing Ronica.
Which was why all those days he had picked up the phone to call her; to say something – anything—to her, he couldn’t. What could he say, apart from the obvious? That he had been a total dickhead for breaking up with her, and that he wanted more than anything else to turn back time and never have spoken to Ronica in the first place? He could not call her and tell her that. He could not do that without expecting a solid slap, and it would be one well deserved. He was glad when his parents had sent him off to spend time with his cousin in Florida. He thought that while he was there he would not have to think about Samantha, but he did anyway. He missed her and he wanted her back.
Micah sighed as he continued to unpack his boxes. So said a wise man ‘you can’t go home again’. He had made a terrible mistake, and there was nothing short of divine intervention that could fix this one. He would have to live with his own stupidity for the rest of his life, or until he managed to find himself another girlfriend…
What. The hell. Was this? Micah had unwrapped a trophy that he had won for inter-hall football. That was when he was in third year, and Samantha had come and watched him score the winning goal against Taylor Hall. The trophy – the only one he had managed to win for the five years at UWI – was wrapped in coloured newsprint, meaning it had to come from TATTLER. He never read TATTLER – one of the many lessons he had learned dating Samantha Persaud. But this bit of news that caught his eye from an edition in May almost gave him a coronary at the impressive age of 26. There were Nathan and Andie holding hands at CFW 2002 after the Izzy Fashion show, and there was TATTLER declaring that Andie Persaud was pregnant! Seriously, WTF? Andie was pregnant? No wonder Nathan was dodging him, that hypocritical scamp! After how he could go on that he was not having sex with Andie before they got married and now TATTLER was declaring that she was pregnant? That was from May, which meant Andie had to be at least four months now. If he knew anything about the Persauds, he knew this was going to be an earthquake sized drama. How stupid were Nathan and Andie? Poor Samantha. She must be embarrassed world without end right about now that her little sister had managed to get herself pregnant! But… There it was. There was the divine intervention that he needed. If that was not providence, nothing was. This was his in. He would call Samantha, find out how Andie was doing; how she was doing. No need to bring up any of the yuckiness regarding their breakup or Ronica. That was all ancient history anyway, and Ronica was out of their lives forever. They would talk as friends. That was how they had started. And if he played his cards right, he could charm her all over again, and by time she was ready to go back to New York, they would be back together. He scrolled through his phone, looking for the last local cell number he had for Samantha. With any luck, she would not have changed it, or he would have no way of getting the new one. From the same article in TATTLER, Bridget was away in India for the summer, and Nikki’s cousin, Joshua, who he had run into at BOJ when he had gone in to sign his contract, had told him Nikki was doing internship at Goldman Sachs. He didn't know any of Samantha's other friends well enough to ask for a different number, and he couldn't very well ask Nathan! He found her number. His thumb paused over the call button for a moment. Dare he really call her? What if she hung up on him? His father always told him that before he did anything, he should carefully think out the consequences. He had not done so when he had chosen Ronica over Samantha. Perhaps he should wait a while; decide if he really wanted to call her.
He opened another box. He would sort this one out, and then decide. Maybe there would be another sign from Heaven in the box to give him the go ahead. Maybe…
***
Samantha snuggled under her cotton sheets, slipped on her glasses and opened her copy of ‘What to Expect When You are Expecting’. It was suddenly her favourite book. Tonight, she was reading up on the baby at 19 weeks. Tomorrow, would be the start of week twenty. Officially half way through. She closed her eyes a bit and tried to imagine what her baby was going to look like. Caitlin! Her own little daughter! Next mother’s day, she would be a part of the celebrations. Of course Caitlin would only be five months old and not be able to buy her anything or make her breakfast in bed, or sing to her, like she, Andie and Christopher always did for their mother, but knowing Jeremy, perhaps he would. Jeremy had approached impending fatherhood really, really seriously. She was pleasantly surprised how boldly he had stepped into his ‘daddy shoes’.
Samantha sighed and turned on to her side. Her back hurt a bit. Bianca and ‘What to Expect When You are Expecting’ said that was normal. As Caitlin grew, she could anticipate some aches and pains. She was fine with aches and pains, especially since it meant her little daughter was growing big.… Big and lazy she decided, since she still had yet to feel her move.
“Move Caitlin…” she thought. “Please move. I want to feel you move…”
She was startled by a knock on her bedroom door. She sat up and pulled the sheets up to her neck.
“Yes?”
The door opened and Jeremy peeked in. She thought he had left ages ago. He must have been hanging out with Grandpa...
“Just letting you know I’m taking off,” he told her. “How are you doing? Do you need anything before I go?”
“No, I’m fine,” Samantha told him. “Don’t hover like that in the doorway. It feels like I am talking to your guillotined head. Come inside, please, if you are talking to me!”
Jeremy did a double take. This was the first time Samantha had ever invited him into her room. He decided he would not look a gift horse in the mouth. He went in. “Nice room.”
“Yeah, it’s okay. I’m going to have to rearrange things though to make room for Caitlin…” She thought for a bit. “Or perhaps when Andie goes away, I can move all her stuff out and make Caitlin’s room in there!”
“I’m sure Andie would like that!” Jeremy said with a chuckle. “Can you believe she only has two more weeks of holiday?”
“Yeah, I’m going to miss the little egg head!” Samantha sighed. “You’re going back soon, too. On the 31st, right?”
“Yeah,” he nodded. “Just three more weeks…”
“Are you looking forward to going?”
“I’m not looking forward to leaving you!”
“I’m sure you’re worse not looking forward to being Phillip’s bitch for the next two years!” Samantha pointed out, trying to ignore the prickles that went down her spine when he said he was not looking forward to leaving he
r. “He is going to be on you like white on rice. If you think I have been treating you bad, you haven’t seen anything yet.”
“Well I’m not scared of Phillip. I’ll do my work just as I did before when I was a summer Associate, and if he doesn’t like it, he can fire me and I can come right back here and be all over you like white on rice!”
“Oh joy!”
“You well know you want me to stay here!” Jeremy chucked her. “When I am gone, who you plan to bully?”
“Good point!” Samantha agreed with a smile.
Jeremy smiled back, and his dimples appeared. Samantha found herself hoping that their baby would get Jeremy's smile. She wondered if his teeth were naturally straight, or if, like her, he had gone through months of orthodontic work.
She looked at him. Really, really looked at him, tracing the contours of his face with her eyes. She looked at his eyes, wide and brown, with lashes that were way too curly for a boy, his strong jaw, that clenched when he got angry, his full, bow-shaped lips that kissed so well.... That adorable dimple in his chin. He was beautiful... But he was not only beautiful to look at. He was beautiful to be with. He was patient and kind and gentle. When did he get to be this way? When did he morph from the obnoxious boor, who treated women as his own personal playthings, who had no qualms about making a bet with her sister – or anyone else’s sister for that matter – as the pawn, into this guy? This guy who had insisted on being a good, present father to their daughter. This guy who took her to Bad Boys 2, and never stopped running and fetching for her all evening; the guy who asked whether he could rub her feet when she complained that they hurt, and who rubbed them anyway although she told him no? He was a strong manly man, who looked like he was in charge of something; a man who took care of his business, but yet.... She remembered the look on his face as he suffered through the childbirth video. And yet -- that. He looked like he needed to be taken care of. As though he needed someone to cook him porridge. She could cook him porridge, if only she knew how to cook porridge... Might be an idea to ask Theresa to teach her... But why was she thinking of cooking Jeremy porridge? She didn't like him. He was annoying the hell out of her -- wasn't he? But the truth was, she realised, although she would not admit it to anyone, not even Andie (especially not Andie) she really, really enjoyed having him around. She wondered how she was going to manage without him when he went back to New York at the end of August....
And then it hit her like a rock to the side of her head. She liked him. Well, before, she had lusted for him. That was how she ended up pregnant in the first place; then she had hated him, because he made her lust -- an emotion that the perfect, controlled Samantha should never have... But now - right at this moment, as he sat at the foot of her bed, she realised she liked him. And not just liked him, as though she liked the guy who wiped her windscreen at the stoplight at the intersection of Waterloo and Trafalgar Roads, but like how a woman should like the man who was the father of her baby!
"You look different..." He told her, breaking the silence that had dominated for a full minute and a half.
Samantha was jarred. "Different how? Different bad or good?"
"Different, different!" Jeremy tried to explain. "You look like you're going to be a mother...."
"Well, this isn't exactly my natural waistline, Jeremy!"
"No." He shook his head. "Your entire face is different. You're glowing..."
Samantha blushed a little bit. "I am?"
"Yeah. Your grandparents are right. Pregnancy really agrees with you." He took her hands in his, and she did not pull away. "You are really, really beautiful. When I saw you in Club Infierno that night, I remember thinking that it was not possible for you to look any prettier than you did then, but now... Wow!"
Seriously? Was he giving her a line? Samantha looked at him. He wasn't giving her a line. He looked sincere... And there were those dimples again. She wondered if she could touch the one in his chin...
There was silence once more. Silence fringed with expectation. He was still holding her hand, and Samantha liked how his hands felt. They were firm yet gentle, like a man’s hands should feel. This was new... This felt right. This was a just perfect moment. This was where something was supposed to happen - something like their first kiss without the buzz of tequila, and without the morning after guilt. This was where his head was supposed to move closer, where their lips were supposed to meet, where she would stop being a perfect idiot and finally accept the fact that this was meant to be... They were meant to be...
Then suddenly, he pulled away.
“I should let you get to sleep!” He said quickly as he stood.
"What?" Samantha was confused.
"I mean, I..." Jeremy was equally confused. If he hadn't known better, he would have thought Samantha had just tried to kiss him. "I need to leave now."
And he had officially ruined their perfect moment, bringing her back to earth with a great thump. Samantha did not know if she was disappointed or relieved.
“Oh – you’re right…” She stuttered. “It is really late and…”
“Yeah… Your Grandparents are dropping me home – at Nathan’s I mean. I shouldn’t keep them…”
“No you shouldn’t. Goodnight, Jeremy.”
“Goodnight, Sammy…”
Samantha looked at the closed door. What. The hell. Was that? Did she really just decide that she liked Jeremy? Did they just almost kiss? Thank God Jeremy had the presence of mind to pull away, she thought. If they had kissed, it would have been an utter and total disaster. Just perfect moment, her ass? There was no such thing as 'just perfect' moments. There were only stupid, hastily made decisions: Micah deciding he did not love her anymore; her deciding that she was going to throw caution to hell and go home with Jeremy; Jeremy deciding that he was going to be a real father. It was time, Samantha thought, to start making sensible decisions. Jeremy had made a sensible decision not to kiss her. It did not make any sense whatsoever further complicating an already complicated scenario by falling for him.
He was going to be a good father, but that did not mean he was going to be settling down material. Her sensible decision was to keep those weird 'I suddenly like Jeremy' thoughts and feelings to herself. It was only three weeks until he went back to New York. She had to go for three weeks without thinking what it would be like to be pressed once more to that rock hard chest, and to be kissed until she thought she might faint... Besides, she decided, it was more than likely her pregnancy hormones that were causing her to have those strange thoughts and feelings….
She should get some sleep. She took off her glasses and switched off the lamp next to her bed. Perhaps tomorrow she would start being sensible. Maybe for tonight she could indulge her silly, baby hormone feelings. It was nice thinking about Jeremy, and remembering what it was like being in love... She closed her eyes and smiled dreamily in the darkness... Suddenly, she was startled by the shrill ringing of her cell phone.
“Crap!” She muttered, as she reached over to turn on the light again. Where the dickens was the phone? It was usually on her night stand, but it was not there now. She got out of bed, following the ringing until it led her to the pocket of the dress she was wearing earlier that day, but she was too late. She slid it open the minute it stopped ringing and the call went to voice mail.
Samantha instantly recognised the number in the ‘missed calls’ folder. She could not believe it! He had called her? But why? Had he left a message? With shaking fingers, she dialled her voicemail, and when she heard the message, her heart fell to the ground, quickly followed by her mouth. It was really him. After all this time, it was really him!
“Sam… It’s Micah. I hope I’m not disturbing you. I’d really like it if we could talk... Can you call me back… Please….”
***
“Sam… It’s Micah. I hope I’m not disturbing you. I’d really like it if we could talk... Can you call me back… Please….”
Samantha pressed 77 on her cell phone and the messag
e played again.
“Sam… It’s Micah. I hope I’m not disturbing you. I’d really like it if we could talk... Can you call me back… Please….”
She looked at Andie, Bianca and Klao, who were all looking at the phone with disdain, as though they could actually see Micah in it. “Well?”
“Well…” Bianca began.
“Should I play it again?” Samantha asked, her finger poised to dial 77 again.
“Don’t bother – please!” Andie said quickly. She grabbed her sister’s T-Mobile sidekick, and closed it.