Just Perfect! (Persaud Girl)

by Teisha Mott

  “Well, since you took it on yourself to answer my phone, you already know what’s going on, Jeremy! Micah asked me out to dinner. He wants us to be friends.”

  “So why didn’t you just tell me that? Why lie and say you are going out with Bridget?”

  “Because I thought if I told you, you would get upset and start acting like a perfect ass!” Samantha spat. “And look at that – I was right!”

  Jeremy ignored her last statement. He was stuck on Micah’s ‘let’s be friends’ tactic. He did not buy it for a minute. Micah was clearly trying to weasel his way back into Samantha’s good graces and perhaps even her heart. He was just stunned that she seemed to be falling for his crap. “And you want to be his friend? After how he treated you?”

  “I haven’t decided on anything Jeremy. We’re only going to dinner …”

  “No, you’re not!”

  Samantha did a double take. “Excuse me?”

  “No, you are not going out with Micah,” Jeremy repeated. “Not tomorrow night, not any other night”

  Samantha was getting as furious as Jeremy. “Oh really? Now you think you can dictate who I go out with? Who I choose to eat with is none of your business!”

  “While I’m the father of your child, everything you do is my business!” Jeremy yelled.

  “You may be the father of my child, but you are not my father or my husband, Jeremy, and you arewayout of line!”

  “And you’re being stupid!” Jeremy realised that when people said pregnancy killed the brain cells, they weren’t being facetious. “Samantha, Micah didn’t ask you out because he wants to be your ‘friend’. He asked you out because he wants you back. This ‘let’s be friends’ crap is just his attempt to worm his way back into your life!”

  “You think I’m being stupid?” Samantha pointed to herself. “Listen to all the rubbish that is coming out of your mouth, Jeremy, and tell me which one of us is being stupid. Micah isn’t a calculating person. He made a mistake when he broke up with me. He apologised, and now all he wants is for us to try to be friends again. Why is that so hard for you to understand?”

  “I understand perfectly well, Samantha,” Jeremy said. His voice was low and controlled. “I understand that you and Micah have this special bond. I understand that for a very long time, he was your ‘soul mate’, and losing him was the worst thing that ever happened to you. It was so bad that you actually got drunk and slept with a lowlife like me. I understand that you would rather be his friend than nothing at all, and I understand that Micah is just using that knowledge to his advantage. You want to know why I understand? I understand because if would do the same damn thing if I were him!”

  “Jeremy…”

  “You are the one who doesn’t understand,” he continued as though she had not tried to interrupt. “You don’t understand thatI love you. You don’t understand that I want to be with you – not just because of Caitlin, but because of you. What I don’t understand is why, knowing how I feel about you, and after all we have been through his year, you would make a plan to go out with him and lie to me about it. Are you hoping that after I’m gone, maybe he will indeed want to be more than friends, and you just want to keep your options open?”

  “Jay, how can you even think that?”

  “Because that’s how I feel! That’s how I have felt all morning, ever since I picked up your stupid phone – like I am just a stop gap; someone to fill some void in your life until Micah came back.”

  “Well…” Samantha cleared her throat so her voice did not crack. “I can’t believe you think I am that shallow.”

  “No, Samantha, but I do believe that, despite your perfect façade, you are that human.”

  Samantha sighed. Jeremy looked at her, wishing that day had never happened. He wished he could go back to that morning and never answer her phone. At least he would not know about Micah, and he and Samantha would not be having this really intense argument that he knew was not going to end well.

  “I’m sorry if you feel like a ‘stop gap’, Jeremy,” she said. “But I don’t know what you want from me right now...”

  “I want you to tell Micah that you are not going out with him!”

  “But I already told him I’d go. I’m not breaking my promise!”

  “Why is it so important that you keep that particular promise, Samantha?” Jeremy asked. “Do you want to make up with Micah?”

  “You’re not seriously asking me that!” Samantha looked at him. She looked for the twinkle in his eye that would tell her he was only joking but she did not see it. Right now he was just being ridiculous. This entire fight was ridiculous.

  “I am seriously telling you that you need to choose, Samantha!” Jeremy stated, losing all sense of calm and reason. “You need to decide if you want to be with Micah, or if you want to be with me!”

  “I don’t get you at all!” Samantha shook her head. “I agreed to go to one stupid dinner with Micah, and you are acting like we are married and I’m cheating on you with my ex. Well, Jeremy, you have no right to be carrying on like this. You and I aren’t married, and despite what TATTLER thinks, we aren’t even properly dating. What you and I had was one random hook-up that lead to a baby. If I hadn’t gotten pregnant, I would never have seen you again.”

  “Samantha…”

  “I would have just gone on your list as one of your many conquests – someone to brag about with your friends.”

  “Don’t you dare say that,” Jeremy told her. “You know you were never just a hook up for me. I love you. I told you from Infierno that I have always loved you.”

  “You loved me, but you came home and I never heard from you…”

  “Now that’s just unfair. I wanted to be with you. You told me there was no hope. You were the one who told me to go away.”

  “If you loved me so much, why did it take Andie calling and telling you I’m pregnant, for you to come and find me? I told Micah to go away, too, you know, but he thought I was worth fighting for!”

  “You told me you didn’t want me in your life!” Jeremy reminded her. “And, unlike Micah, I wasn’t going to force my way in. And look, I didn’t have to fight, because Caitlin proves that you and I were meant to be together, and you are allowing Micah to tear us apart!”

  “All Caitlin proves is that neither of us should drink!” Samantha told him. “That when we drink, the alcohol goes into our brain, and our brain goes into the bottle, and we make all sort of crap decisions. That’s all she proves. Caitlin is the best of the worst case scenarios, and I love her, but…”

  “Samantha please don’t do this!” Jeremy cut her off. He did not want to hear what would follow that ‘but’.

  “I didn’t do this, Jeremy!” She pointed out. “You did.”

  “So that’s it. You’re saying you want to be with Micah?” He blinked back the tears that burned his eyes.

  “I never said that. Do not put words into my mouth!”

  “Then what are you saying, Samantha?”

  “I’m saying that you are placing me in a very difficult situation right now, and that’s not fair. You should never ask me to choose between the father of my child and the man I was in love with for two years! And in any event, it doesn’t even matter what I want. I’m pregnant with your child. Micah doesn’t want me back!”

  “And if he did?” Jeremy asked. “What if he said outright that he wanted to be with you again? What if he didn’t care that you were pregnant, and he wanted youand Caitlin? What would you do then? Would you go back to him?”

  Samantha was quiet. That was the million dollar question. If Micah wanted her back, Caitlin and all, would she go? She looked at Jeremy. He had changed so much. He was not the same man he was three years ago. Caitlin aside, she could love this Jeremy. But Micah wasMicah. If Ronica had not come in the picture, if there was no Caitlin, they would be together right now.

  Jeremy was looking at her. He was expecting a response. She knew he wanted her to say definitively no, she would no
t give Micah a second chance, but deep inside, Samantha was not sure if that was true.

  “It’s yes or no, Sam,” Jeremy insisted. “If Micah asked you right now, would you go back to him?”

  “I honestly don’t know what I would do Jeremy. That’s a situation I would have to be in to decide…”

  Jeremy scoffed and shook his head. That was is answer right there. “Well, I am not interested in sticking around and waiting for you to figure it out.”

  “What are you saying?”

  “I’m saying, I quit. I’m not running behind you anymore,” he told her, not believing those words were coming from his mouth. “I’m not going to spend any more time trying to convince you that I love you, and I am definitely not going to sit around and wait for you to pick Micah over me.”

  One tear escaped Samantha’s eyes. “You’re being silly, Jeremy! Why are you getting upset over a non-issue? What is wrong with you?”

  “You just made it clear that you are only with me because you cannot be with Micah.” He fought bravely against the lump in his throat. The one that proved that men indeed cried. “I cannot be your consolation prize, Samantha. I don’t want to be your second choice. Not when you are my first. So let me help you out here. You’re right. We’re not married, and we’re not even dating. All we had is one stupid tequila induced hook-up, and now we’re sharing a baby. So you know what? I will be Caitlin’s father from a distance, just as you wanted in the beginning. You can be Micah’s friend now, and his girlfriend when he decides he wants more. I’m out.”

  He marched out of the kitchen, slamming the door so hard one of Theresa’s decorative plates fell off the wall and broke. The sound of the china crashing to the floor made her jump. She watched the closed door waiting for Jeremy to turn back. To realise he had overreacted and come back inside and apologise. Or even to realise that he did not have a ride to get back into New Kingston. Five minutes later, she it was evident that he was not going to turn back. He was gone. He may never come back. And there was nothing she could do about it.

  ***

  “Have you lost your natural mind?” Nathan yelled. “The worst possible thing in the world you could do is give her an ultimatum!”

  Jeremy sat on his sofa bed, his feet on the coffee table, trying to catch his breath. He should be packing for New York, but he didn’t have the energy. It wasn’t until he had gotten to the apartment that he realised he hadwalked all the way from Norbrook to New Kingston, and now he was seeing spots.

  “Well, it is a good thing I did,” he told Nathan. “See? She chose who she wants to be with.”

  “You’re an idiot!” Nathan spat. “Jeremy she doesn’t want to be with Micah. Nothing you told me even indicates that.”

  “Well, she said she wasn’t sure if she would go back to him ever,” Jeremy clarified. “That shows she isn’t over him, and I am not sitting around waiting for the next shoe to drop. And I am worse not competing with Micah.”

  “Yo, this isn’t a competition. And even if it was, you done win already. Remember a little girl called Caitlin? Going to present herself in December?”

  “Nate, you know full well I wouldn’t be anywhere near here if it wasn’t for Caitlin! What that tell you?”

  “Nothing more than you are an ass to pick a quarrel with her in the first place, and a bigger one for telling her to choose. I don’t know what difference it makes if she eats with Micah.” Nathan nudged his feet off the coffee table. “It’s just a meal. It doesn’t mean anything!”

  “You don’t understand, Nate…” Jeremy mumbled.

  “Damn straight I don’t understand!” Nathan poured himself a drink and looked at his friend. “And in any event, even if she wanted to get back together with Micah, is so easy you give up? You just tell her ‘fine’ and walk away? What kinda one seed man you be?”

  Jeremy did not respond.

  Nathan sighed. “Look, if I were you, I would take myself to Norbrook and apologise to her before it is too late.”

  “Why am I apologising?” Jeremy raised his eyebrow. “I didn’t do anything wrong!”

  “Do you love her?”

  “Of course I do!”

  “You want her to go back to Micah?”

  “What kinda eediat question that?”

  “Well, it don’t matter flip who is wrong. You go and apologise. Tell her you didn’t mean anything you said and that she can go out with whoever she wants.”

  “I’m not going!” Jeremy declared stubbornly.

  “Well, if you don’t go, you are not sleeping in here tonight, so either you go or you can go mek up your bed with the security!”

  Jeremy knew Nathan was right. That, coupled with the fact that it looked like it might rain and he had no desire to share the security shed with Mr Fenton, made him yank on his sneakers and grab the car keys from Nathan. As he drove to Norbrook, he replayed the entire argument in his head. By the time he got to the gate, he realised that Nathan was right and he was an ass. He had crossed the line from the moment he picked up Samantha’s phone and the stupid ultimatum was the last straw. He had to tell Samantha that. And somehow, he felt that once she calmed down, she would remember their night by the pool only a few days ago, and she would tell him that she would choose him, hands down. Today would go into one of the files Samantha was making in her brain under ‘Day we had our first fight: never to be relived again’. He buzzed the gate and Dr Persaud let him in.

  Dr and Mrs Persaud were having dinner alone in the kitchen.

  “Hi, sweetie!” Mrs Persaud greeted him. “We were wondering where you were. Why you didn’t stay and have dinner with Sam?”

  Jeremy looked at her, smiling at him. Apparently Sam had not told her that they had a fight. He wouldn’t tell her either.

  “I had to go do some packing.” He responded. “Can bet Nate can’t wait to see the back of me. Where’s Sam?”

  “Sitting by the pool,” Mrs Persaud responded. “She said she wasn’t feeling well. Needed some fresh air.”

  “I think she’s more upset that you’re leaving next week than anything else though,” Dr Persaud added, noting Jeremy’s worried expression when his wife said Samantha wasn’t feeling well.

  “Can totally relate!” Jeremy turned towards the door. “It’s going to be a long four months until December.”

  Dr Persaud smiled. He was happy they were getting on now, and seemed to genuinely like each other. He could only hope that they would get married sooner rather than later. He wasn’t going to judge, but he would really prefer to see the parents of his grandchild happily married and settled.

  Jeremy made his way down the familiar path to the pool. He was really going to miss that house – hanging out with Samantha and Christopher and Andie. For a moment he wondered about his apartment in Chelsea. He wondered whether it would feel like home without Sam and Caitlin.

  Looking down the path, he saw Samantha sitting on the side of the pool with her feet in the water. If Nursey saw her sitting like that, with not even a towel under her butt she would have conniptions. According to Nursey, one could catch a cold anywhere – in their arms, eyes, legs, even their butts. She was adamant that Samantha would remain in perfect health until December. Caitlin was going to turn out healthy if it was the last thing she did.

  As he got closer, Jeremy could hear her sniffles. She was crying. God, he felt like a worm! He had made her cry. She was sad because he had stormed off in a rage and told her to go be with Micah. Of course she didn’t want to be with Micah. She wanted to be with him. He was going to give her a huge hug and tell her what a moron he had been.

  “C’mon pick up!” he heard her mutter.

  Jeremy paused. She was on the phone, he realised. She was probably trying to call him. He was about to call out when it dawned on him that his phone was in his pocket and it wasn’t ringing. Suddenly, Jeremy felt paralysed. He could not take one more step. He did not want to be eavesdropping, but he could not help it.

  “Hi, Micah,” she whisper
ed. “I really need you right now. Could you come over?”

  Jeremy did not bother listening to the rest of the conversation. He recalled as a teenager sitting in court as his father passed judgement after judgement. Every time that gavel went down, Jeremy knew that for better or worse that the gavel meant finality. It seemed to him that the more severe the punishment, the harder Judge Malcolm would bang the gavel. It seemed now that Samantha had banged the gavel of their relationship with a mighty thud. She wanted to be with Micah and that was the end of the story. It didn’t take her five minutes to make that decision. He walked back towards the car, tears burning the back of his eyes. Summer, and his life, were officially over.

  281

  Just Perfect!

  chapter fourteen

  September 27

  “Micah, you’re late!” Samantha looked at him crossly as he hurried over to her.

  “I’m sorry!” Micah panted. “I was writing a paper for work and lost track of the time!”

  “If you knew you were going to be busy today, you could have told me, and I could have asked Bianca or Klao to come with me, you know!”

  “I didn’t plan to be busy,” Micah began. “I just…”

  “You are the one who said you wanted to come!” Samantha trilled. “You are the one who offered. I could have done this by myself if I knew I was treading on your precious time, and disturbing your valuable paper-writing Saturday morning!”

  “And I said I am sorry that I came late!” Micah was beginning to get cross. “What do you want from me, Samantha?”

  Samantha huffed. She was feeling very cross and tired, and really looking for an excuse to argue with someone – anyone, and as her self-appointed ‘best friend’, Micah was right there.

  It was the end of September, and she had just ended her second trimester, and feeling very miserable. She felt like she was getting fatter by the second, and everywhere hurt constantly. Most of the time, Micah was very accommodating. He would massage her back and her feet, and come over after work with chocolates or pickles, and usually when she told him off, he would just take it without answering her. And she really appreciated him for that. But on days like these, she abhorred the very sight of him.