by Teisha Mott
Micah had promised he would meet her that Saturday morning at ‘Answers for Children’. Grandpa James had written her a cheque the morning before – some kind of nest egg for Caitlin, he had told her -- but nest egg her tail? She had $150,000 in her hands and was desperately in need of retail therapy. And since she couldn’t very well spend it on herself – that was tantamount to stealing -- she planned to blow every last cent on baby things, starting with a crib. Micah was supposed to meet her at 10:30. It was 11:00, when he finally decided to show up.
“You know something,” she said. “Go back home and write your stupid paper, since that means more to you than I do!”
“Sam, just chill!” Micah said. “I’m here now, aren’t I?”
“And I guess you want a medal?”
Micah sighed. He counted backwards from ten, reminding himself that she was only acting that way because she was pregnant.
But she wasn’t. Samantha knew the real reason she was acting so crabby. It was because of Jeremy. She had not spoken to him since he had returned to New York, and she missed him dreadfully. She knew he was okay. Andie had told her. Andie also told her that he never mentioned her. That made her very sad. She never realised that their stupid fight would have gone so far. Even after he changed his mind and returned to New York on the 31st as he had initially planned, she had just thought he was Jeremy being Jeremy, and he would huff and puff for a bit and then calm down when he saw how silly he was being. Not a chance. He disappeared into the Big Apple and never once called her. After a week, she thought she would be the bigger person and call him. When her first three calls had gone unanswered, she had gotten into a rage and decided that if he wanted to be a girl then he could go right ahead. She was not going to pander to him, and he was not going to choose who she went out with. Now, the cold war had been going on for a month, and despite her best efforts, there seemed to be no end in sight.
She had been home bored one morning a few days ago, watching baby story on TV. As she watched a woman being wheeled into the delivery room, she remembered how mortified Jeremy had been when they had watched that first video in the childbirth class. She smiled remembering how afterwards he kept on saying ‘oh my God, oh my God’, over and over again. She really, really missed him…. She decided to give him a call. The clock on the wall said 11:15, so likely he would be in office. She dialled Persaud Financials, a bit annoyed by the automated operator, but soon his extension rang.
“Jeremy Malcolm!”
Her heart skipped a bit at the sound of his voice. “Hey Jay!”
There was silence on the other end.
“Jeremy? Are you there?”
“Yes, Samantha?”
“How are you?” She asked timidly.
“Busy,” he responded shortly. “What is it?”
“I was just calling to say hi,” she said. “You’re planning to malice me for life?”
“I don’t have time to talk to you, Samantha,” he interrupted. “I’m heading into a meeting….”
“I just wanted you to know that I am not upset with you.” Samantha said, cutting him off. “In fact, I miss you. Don’t you think it’s time we get over all this nonsense and be friends again?”
“Look, let’s get one thing straight, Sam,” Jeremy told her, sounding colder than she had ever heard him sound before. “You and I are not friends.”
“Jeremy, how can you say that?”
“Because it’s true. We are two people who cannot hold our alcohol and make bright decisions. You said it yourself – all we have in common is Caitlin. If it wasn’t for her, you would have gone about your life and I would have gone about mine.”
“You are not being fair…”
“And you weren’t being fair when you made me spend the whole summer thinking we could have something when you know you jolly well were not over Micah!”
“Jay, we have to be rational and talk about this properly!” Samantha could not believe that he was still obsessed with the idea that she was going back to Micah. “When can we talk properly?”
Jeremy sighed. He really did not want to talk about this anymore. For one month, all he could think of was Samantha telling Micah on the phone how much she needed him. He did not know what was left to talk about. She knew who she wanted, and he needed to get over her. He couldn’t do that when she was calling him all the time. “You know what, Sam? I have tried to be a gentleman about this entire scenario, but right now you just need to leave me alone!"
“Jay…”
“Look, I promised you that I was going to be a good father and I always keep my promises. So from here on out, you and I only talk about Caitlin, okay? Other than that I don’t want to hear from you. I don’t want you calling me or texting me or emailing me unless it has something to do with Caitlin.”
“Jay…”
“I have to go now, or I will be late for my meeting. ’Bye, Samantha!”
The next thing Samantha heard was the dial tone. She had dissolved in tears then and there in her room. Fortunately, mother was working from home that day. She sat in her basement studio until her tears had dried up, and she could breathe properly again. Mrs Persaud had not asked her what the problem was. She had not offered any motherly words of counsel or cheer. Not even one trite platitude. She just sketched and coloured and talked on the phone and ate the sandwich that Theresa had brought down when lunch time came, without even casting a glance her way.
Samantha felt like her world was closing in. Every day that passed made her miss Jeremy even more. She wondered why she had not just told him that evening that he was the one she wanted to be with, and not Micah. Then, pride rose up in her chest. She was a big grown woman – almost a mother. No one, least of all Jeremy had the right to dictate to her like Jeremy wanted to do. Besides, she was glad she had called Micah. He was being a really good friend, and he never once proposed that they get back together.
She looked over at him. He was examining a four-in-one crib, which could be converted into a toddler bed, day bed and full sized bed. It even had an under drawer for extra storage.
“I think I should be able to put this together,” he said, motioning her to come over.
Samantha examined the crib, feeling less cross at Micah. At least she had him, she thought diplomatically. At least he was there examining cribs and feeding her cravings, and taking her snapping. It could be much, much worse. She had initially thought she could be a single mother, and do ‘the baby thing alone’, but it was very, very hard. It was not something she could do without lots of moral support. And she had Micah. He was not even the father, but he was there with her – there for her, just as he had promised.
“Sorry I yelled at you, Micah,” she apologised.
Micah smiled. “It’s okay, babes. I know it is pregnancy hormones that are making you so evil.”
“How do you know that?”
“I already went through all of this with Kaliese, remember? And trust me – as far as miserable goes, you have nothing on her.”
Samantha smiled. She was glad Micah was there. All in all, he was a great guy, and he would not let her down. All she needed now was to get over Jeremy – to stop missing him for even one minute at a time, and all would be well.
***
October 20
Jeremy stared out the window of the forty-sixth floor conference room in Persaud Financials. He gazed at the Empire State Building, the Chrysler Building, the MetLife Building and The Bank of America tower, as he half listened to Phillip chair the weekly Associate staff meeting. It was Monday morning, and his sixth week as an Investment Associate. The first five weeks had been rough. It was not that he had not known that being an Investment Associate would mean working 90 hours per week. But what he certainly did not expect Phillip to be such a frigging slave driver. When Samantha had told him that Phillip would be over him like white on rice, she knew what the hell she was talking about. He knew the man was a perfectionist, but this was just torture!
Jeremy was no
t stupid. He knew that while Phillip was demanding and impatient, he was being even more so now because he was still pissed off about Samantha. He had made up with this cousin – after all, family was family, and Grandpa would not tolerate any of them being angry at each other for any extended period of time. But Jeremy was decidedly not family, and all residual anger that could have been directed at Samantha now sat squarely on Jeremy’s broad shoulders. Over those five weeks, it was almost impossible to remember a time when Phillip Javar was his best friend. He tried to recall one short year and a few months ago, when he was the summer associate who all the other summer associates hated because Phillip thought he could walk on water. He recalled even after the summer had ended, being invited out to drinks with Phillip and the other associates, feeling already much a part of the team. He could not believe he was looking at the same man who had so patiently helped him with his Advanced Investment Research paper for business school. In fact, he had been putting the final touches on his presentation that evening in April when Phillip had insisted he join them at Infierno; since his ‘hot cousin, Samantha, would be there’…
Jeremy sighed. He couldn’t really blame Phillip for being angry at him. He had a sister. He knew how territorial guys could get when it came to their sisters and cousins. He knew he would not exactly be bffs with any man who fed Jasmine tequila in a night club, slept with her and lied about it, and only confessed after he got her pregnant. As it stood, Jeremy felt very lucky to still have a job and his balls.
And as if being Phillip's bitch was not stressful enough, he had to spend most of his days and a few of his nights dodging Jen who just could not understand the terms ‘age-appropriate relationship’ and ‘sexual harassment in the workplace’. With all that he was going through, he was positive that one of these days he was going to either scratch his own eyes out or jump off the building…
“Jeremy!”
He snapped to attention and saw Phillip and all the other associates and analysts staring at him. Crap! They were in the middle of the ‘tour de table’, and it was his turn to brief the team on the assignments he was working on.
“You appear to be bored,” Phillip accused. “Is there somewhere else that you would rather be?”
Jeremy felt warmth creeping up his collar. Zoning out in a meeting was not helping him one earthly bit. “No,” he responded. “There is nowhere else that I would rather be.”
“Then if that is the case, if it is not too much trouble, all the rest of us are on the edge of our seats to discover how you plan to contribute to the M&A group this week!”
Jeremy glanced around the silent conference room. The other First Years were looking at him, with a bit of pity that Phillip was on his case, and a bit of relief that they weren’t the ones in the hot seat. Jeremy sighed deeply. He glanced at his notepad. He had been doodling all over the page ‘Caitlin Jada Malcolm’. His little daughter, who would be born in just two months was the only thing that was keeping him sane these days. He wondered whether Samantha would still give her that name, or maybe she was picking out other names with Micah… Fortunately, he had not doodled over the summary of the projects he was currently working on, and in a voice that hardly sounded like his, was able to give Phillip a succinct run down of the deals he planned to broker, the due diligences he had to perform and the models he had to check – read ‘actually do’, since Webb, the analyst he had been assigned to work with, was as useful as an appendix.
“So where are you on the MarsBender/Premium Digital merger?”
Jeremy was stunned. “Excuse me?”
“MarsBender’s acquisition of Premium Digital!” Phillip repeated. “We were approached to conduct the merger. It is a mutual agreement acquisition strictly for the purpose of financial synergy, and both CEOs want this acquisition over with as quickly and as seamlessly as possible. In fact, they are hoping we can get the job done by first of January… I emailed all the details to you last Friday, Jeremy! I expected you to have some figures ready for me to look over this afternoon!”
Jeremy was now officially confused. He did not recall receiving an e-mail on that acquisition project. Was it possible that he had missed that particular e-mail? Couldn't be. He received anywhere in the region of one hundred emails per day, and assiduously and painstakingly went through each of them every day, just so he could avoid situations like these. There was no way he could have missed an email that came in from Friday.
“I’m sorry, Phillip, but this is the first I am hearing of the MarsBender/Premium Digital merger…”
“What do you mean this is the first you are hearing of the MarsBender/Premium Digital merger?” Phillip asked, looking at him as though he was a complete idiot.
“Just that!” Jeremy replied. “You thought you had emailed me, but you didn’t...”
Phillip sighed. He splayed his fingers across the desk and glared at Jeremy. “I personally emailed the request to you and two analysts on…” He paused to check his blackberry. “Friday morning at six, Jeremy.”
“You may have emailed ‘two analysts’, but you certainly did not email one associate!” Jeremy argued.
“Why, why, why would I email the analysts and exclude you?”
“I don’t know, Phillip!” Jeremy was getting annoyed. “Why, why, why would you?”
Phillip was staring at him, but he was not backing down. He stared back, unflinching. Total silence dominated the conference room. Somewhere outside, a telephone rang softly. The tension was palpable, and Jeremy wondered whether Phillip was going to fire him on the spot – or have an aneurysm. As far as Jeremy was concerned, either scenario was fine with him! Finally, Phillip huffed.
“I am a pretty easy going guy,” Phillip said, glancing at Jeremy once more. “There are many things that I can tolerate or even overlook, but one of them is not your insolence or your incompetence…”
“Phillip, with all due respect, maybe you meant to send me the information, but I assure you, you didn’t!” Jeremy reiterated.
Phillip continued as though Jeremy had not tried to interject. “If you are finding it difficult or burdensome to carry out your job in this department or on this team, I have hundreds of other Business School graduates lined up to take your job!”
“I can carry out my job effectively and efficiently when I am provided with the necessary information!” Jeremy argued.
“And you are just full of excuses!” Phillip barked. “In Investments, we don’t make excuses. Excuses cost our clients and our business. If you want to make a living contriving and thriving on excuses, you should have gone to law school.”
Jeremy could feel his blood boiling in his veins. He slowly counted backwards from ten, and resisted the urge to cross the room and punch Phillip. He knew he had not received any emails relating to MarsBender, and Phillip was only making him look incompetent. Grandpa Ravi had said Phillip could not fire him, but he was certainly doing a damn good job making his life a living hell.
Phillip picked up the intercom in the meeting room and buzzed his secretary.
“Wendy, forward the MarsBender files to Jeremy Malcolm right now, please. Ensure it is in his mailbox before this meeting is over!" He glared at Jeremy. "You get your shit together. Never let this happen again!"
Embarrassment shot through his veins like electricity. How much more of this crap did he have to put up with? Two weeks ago, after pulling two all-nighters back to back, he seriously considered throwing in the towel and calling it quits. He would go back to Jamaica and get a job as a loans officer in BNS, or perhaps in the Financial and Advisory Services department at PwC or one of the other Big 4 firms… Or even become a bum and sleep on Nathan’s sofa bed all day! But Lexie had told him not to despair. As a fourth year Associate, she promised him that this rote. It was the life of a first year Associate – taking crap from VPs and MDs, and being worked so hard that he did not know what to do with himself. She assured him that it could be worse. He could be an Analyst, who had to take crap from VPs, MDs and Asso
ciates. She told him just to hold on. In a few years when he became a Vice President, he would not feel like he was working two hundred hours a week. This, right here, was called paying dues. He knew that all she was saying was true. He could deal with paying dues. But he was not sure he could deal with being abused by Phillip because of one mistake that he had made six months before!
Forty-five minutes later, Phillip wrapped up the meeting. Jeremy wondered when, given his current work load, he was going to find the time to familiarise himself with the MarsBender project. As he made his way back to the bullpen, he had the sinking realisation that his bed in his apartment in Chelsea would not be slept in that night.
***
October 31
Samantha was in a very bad mood. Nothing seemed to be going her way all morning. She was tired – understandable, since she had not been able to get a good night sleep in days. Every time she fell asleep, she would have a weird dream about dropping Caitlin, or forgetting Caitlin in the car, or losing her in Megamart, or Caitlin crying and refusing to stop. Last night, she had dreamt that Theresa had made a mistake and cooked Caitlin for dinner. After that one, she could not fall asleep for the remainder of the night.
It was the last day of October, and the last day of week 31. Tomorrow, would be week 32, day 224, and she was feeling more awful than she had felt in the very beginning when she was sick all the time. She was not only sick, but fat. Grandma Joyce and Grandpa James had come to dinner two nights before, and Grandma had suggested that she was probably having a diabetic baby, because being so fat was just plain unnatural. She was one pound away from falling into a great depression. Everything seemed like a task – going up the stairs, coming down the stairs, answering the telephone.