Beauty

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  Brice…that fucker…

  Shit! Another pound… At least that one was worth it.

  I pushed the nasty thoughts aside, turning my concentration back to dressing. Not only had the witch cleaned my arm and dressed my cut, but she’d cleaned my body as well. My skin felt as if it had been scrubbed by a dozen tiny brushes, tingling and smelling of lavender I noticed as I pulled the tank top over my head. The clothes fit like a glove. I was almost sure the button on the jeans wasn’t going to button, but the zipper slid up with ease, holding without the slightest bit of struggle from me. The tag read size two. At three hundred and fifty-three pounds, I wasn’t even sure if I’d ever worn a size two in anything except maybe diapers as a baby.

  My eyes closed briefly as I stepped in front of the mirror, a whoosh of breath escaping as I tossed my hair playfully, taking in the new me.

  Shit…If being skinny made me look this good, I’d just become a hardcore junkie.

  Chapter 5:

  Campus was beyond empty. My first stop was at the student book store. Bright yellow sandals –branded with the letters ASU-were all they had available in the way of shoes. I was surprised to find that my feet had shrunk from a nine and a half down to a size seven and a half. I hadn’t even known it was possible to lose weight in your feet. Sandals in hand I carried them to the long line of students waiting to sell back this past year’s text books.

  When I was fat I’d always gotten stares. Today I thought the stares would be directed at my obviously bare feet instead of my body for once, but a few cat calls and whistles later, I lifted my eyes from my toes to look around. I was used to trying to blend in, but already I’d forgotten that with this new body…I might as well be a flashing neon sign. Two guys on my right pretended to hover at the keychain rack, both of them with their phones pointed in my direction.

  They were taking pictures! I realized as I heard the quiet click of a camera shudder, both of them giving each other high fives as they exchanged phones. A guy on my left was blatantly staring, his eyes glued to my braless breasts.

  Next up…Walmart.

  “Like moths to a flame…” a voice behind me murmured, warm breath tickling my bare shoulders.

  I turned slightly, my breath holding as I met a set of beautiful sky blue eyes. He was almost a head taller than I was…which was tall. I was 5’8’’ bare foot and yet the top of my head only came just past his shoulders. Broad hips shifted slightly, and I noticed the natural flex of muscles in his arms, my gaze traveling lower to his tanned legs.

  “E…excuse me,” I whispered, my mouth suddenly dry as I looked back up a him, heat filling my cheeks.

  Without a mirror as my guide, it was hard to remind myself that I was beautiful, skinny Evelyn now. My mind was still reacting as if I were fat.

  “I’m Jeremy…” he introduced himself, shifting his stack of books from one arm to the other before extending his right hand to me.

  “I’m…” I paused, hating for the millionth time in my life that my mother had named me Evelyn. It sounded so old…and…fat! “Eve…” I forced out, the corner of my mouth pulling into a Voila kind of smile as my tongue tested the nickname for the first time.

  “Eve…” he repeated after me, a look of surprise in his features for an instant when he took the fingers I offered. “Pleasure is mine,” he laughed, brushing his lips across three of my knuckles in a kiss.

  Ho-ly Shit!

  “Jeremy, as in Jeremy ‘JBird’ Fuller… You’re the point guard for Alabama State…NBA bound…Olympic hopeful…”

  “Whoah…yeah…that’s me…” he grinned and I almost swooned.

  Did people still swoon?

  “I’m sorry…I just did…well I mean…my friend just did an article on your rise to ‘fame’ here at ASU and I was just surprised to see you here and in person. She mentioned an interview with you…”

  My words trailed off as the nasty memory pulled forth. A few months back, I had done an article on Jeremy ‘JBird’ Fuller, ASU’s star point guard, but he’d never shown up for the interview. Well actually he had…kind of… I’d waited in the student union library, at table number fourteen. The one I’d reserved two months prior to the article being due. I’d watched him walk into the library, ask the blonde haired receptionist for directions and then head my way. I turned away when his eyes found me, already knowing that he wouldn’t stay. Disgust was all over his face when he finally made his way over, never looking at me directly when he mumbled some excuse about an extra practice the coach had called. I’d already known the truth. He hadn’t wanted to be seen with a girl as fat as me. How shallow…

  “Yeah…I guess I kind of remember that…” he shrugged, moving one step forward in the line when I did.

  He didn’t recognize me…

  Now that I was skinny and beautiful, I wanted to laugh in his face. Point to my body and tell him: “In your dreams buddy!”

  “So…you’re still on campus. You got plans tonight…?”

  “Nope,” I smiled sweetly, tossing my hair so that it fell over one shoulder.

  Here was my chance…

  “I would love to hang out with you some more…get to know you maybe…” he proposed, his hand pushing back through the dark brown waves on his head.

  God he was gorgeous. His hair looked silkier than any girl’s I’d ever seen. What I wouldn’t give to replace his hand with mine and feel the texture for myself. He was waiting for my answer, following as I moved another step up in line.

  “That sounds…okay,” I whispered, wanting to smack myself for not giving him a piece of my mind.

  “So tonight then…there’s a party…”

  Oh no… A party… I can’t dance…

  “Um…not so sure about the party scene…” I stalled, trying to think of something else we could do together.

  “It’s not going to be a lot of people. A few students at my place actually… More like a get together…” he shrugged, motioning to the free cashier waving for the next person in line.

  “Where…? What time?” I asked, backing my way to the counter, my new ASU sandals clutched to my chest.

  “I live off campus…”

  Right… Senior and all that… I couldn’t pull up driving my raggedy old Jetta. Wait…who was I trying to impress…!?

  “I’ll pick you up… Which dorm?” he smiled as another register opened up, the students in line behind him now murmuring complaints at us holding up the line.

  “Foxwood…it’s over by…”

  “I know where it is,” he interrupted, throwing me a wink as he started for the next open register.

  “Ten…?!” I tried to call as casually as possible, my flip flops now on my feet.

  “Perfect…”

  He smiled that wide boyish grin of his, and I think I actually did swoon this time. My knees felt wobbly as I exited the bookstore, darting off to the freshman student parking lot before he could see which way I went. I was going to my first party ever! A college party…holy shit!

  **********

  I’d already requested to be placed in the same dorm suite I was in now, but things had changed since then. Being in my room was almost unmanageable now. I had a new body, but I certainly didn’t have a new memory. The second I opened the door –after being away all day today-dread sunk through me, my eyes automatically going to the fresh comforter I’d put on the bed before leaving. The evidence was gone, but I could still hear my own screams…feel the embarrassment, and feel the weight of Brice pinning me down.

  Reporting the rape was out of the question. Brice Honeycutt was not the type of guy you went up against. Silver spoon fed, all American blue blood ran through his veins so thick that two of the founders of ASU had been related to him in some way. I’d heard June brag about it a few times, mentioning that Brice’s dad had gotten more than one student kicked out of the school for messing with his son. No…as much as I would have loved to have a reason to leave this place before, I suddenly had a new outlook on the whol
e college experience thing. Starting tonight…Evelyn was dead. Eve was the new me, and she had some major catching up to do.

  The little black dress I’d left hanging on the closet door was waiting for me after I’d unpacked the six pair of shoes I bought earlier in the day. I pulled my new black stilettos free from their little pink box, admiring the four inch heels for a moment before setting them on the floor just under the dress. I’d never walked in heels before in my life, but I’d seen tons of girls here wear them on a daily basis. Surely it couldn’t be that hard…

  It took forty five minutes longer than usual to get through my shower this time. Who ever thought that shaving down there was a good idea was insane. I’d been so scared of cutting myself that I’d skipped over half the hair on my first pass. Three more passes and my crotch tingled in protest, bare and exposed even under the tiny sheer white panties I’d bought to match the push up bra I wore now. A quick look at the clock and I saw it was already 9:30 p.m. The dress went on next and then the shoes, my body covered in a body shimmer I’d had for years –a gift from one of my aunts. Fat people didn’t wear body shimmer…it drew too much attention to the flubby skin we were trying to hide. Adding a smattering of sparkle to that would have been disastrous at three hundred and fifty-three pounds. At one hundred and twelve pounds I looked like I had a glow about me.

  I’d pushed my hair back into a loose braid that I wrapped into a bun, pinning shorter layers on top of my head with a thin silver headband. A few swipes of black polish on my nails and toes, and I was almost ready. If only June were here…

  I looked in confusion at the five different types of make-up I’d purchased, hoping that one of them had directions printed on the side. No such luck…

  You Tube hadn’t failed me yet. Makeup in hand I hobbled over to my bed, placing my laptop and my new hand held mirror in front of me. Two searches and I found what I was looking for: Quick and easy natural looking make-up. It was simple enough to follow the directions, my tiny fingers nimble at getting the black liner just so around my eyes. Midnight black eye shadow transformed my face into something I’d only seen in magazines or on pretty girls. Sexy…alluring…I blinked at the finished work in surprise. I couldn’t believe that this was the new me… Eve…

  **********

  I loved nighttime because of the shadows it brought. Before, it would have given me something to hide within, now it complimented my beauty.

  Riding in the passenger seat of Jeremy’s car, everything just seemed better. The stars were brighter, the moon was bigger, I felt like a million bucks, and I was with one of the most eligible bachelors on campus. He couldn’t stop looking at me, and I couldn’t stop smiling. I was severely overdressed compared to the jeans and collar shirt he wore, but he didn’t make me feel that way. He’d seen me waiting for him outside in front of my dorm, stopped at the curb and stared for a full thirty seconds before getting out to open my door. There was no hiding the continuous blush that seemed to fill my entire body, even now as we pulled into his apartment complex.

  My spirits suddenly sank at the crowd of students milling about on the sidewalk, stairs, and balconies.

  “A little get together…” I mused out loud, clutching my hands tightly in my lap to hide the sudden nervousness I felt.

  He caught the irritation in my tone right away and grabbed my hand as soon as he parked the car.

  “I’m not the only one having a party. You’re not gonna bail on me are you?” he asked, his hand slipping from over mine to my exposed thighs.

  I suddenly felt intoxicated, my head instantly fuzzy as his fingers trailed their way upward to the hem of my dress. I’d never been turned on or pursued by a guy, so I wasn’t sure if this was how it was supposed to go, but I felt myself leaning ever so slightly into the seeking kiss he planted on my mouth. Warmth enveloped my face and I moaned just a little. It gave him the opening to slip his tongue past my lips and suddenly my nerve endings were bursting. Wetness pooled in the crotch of my panties, my skin was abuzz with goose bumps that seemed to multiply by the thousands, and my hands were suddenly slipping into his hair, caressing those silky waves. The kiss grew more aggressive, his teeth nicking my lower lip and then pulling me into him. Panic started when I felt his hands close around the back of my head, cupping my neck.

  I was still in the car with Jeremy, but without even consciously thinking it, my mind placed me back in my room, fat and pinned down by Brice. I pushed against Jeremy’s chest, protesting when his hands slipped lower to squeeze both my breasts. A hard knock sounded on the driver’s side window just as his kisses trailed from my lips to my neck. It was Brice’s voice I heard whispering in my ear, but Jeremy’s words.

  “You’re so fucking beautiful.”

  I blinked fast to keep the tears from falling, my body recoiling against the door when he released me, a lopsided grin on his face.

  “More of that later…” he promised, oblivious to the fact that I’d just flashed back to being raped only twenty-four hours ago.

  I wanted to run for it now, back to the safety of my room, and away from what he expected of me, but I followed, my legs stiff as I exited the car. It took everything in me not to mentally curse Brice for doing this to me. Just when I had a chance to be with a guy or even fall in love like every other pretty girl out there, I was trapped remembering one more awful thing that had happened in my life.

  But…it didn’t happen to you… I reminded myself, turning the dirty memory into something a little more positive. It happened to Evelyn…and she’s gone now…

  That was enough to ease the invisible band that had constricted around my chest. I walked taller, my head held high as I followed behind Jeremy, the tips of my fingers clasped loosely in his. I pretended to ignore the envious looks I got from a few of the trashy looking girls decorating the door to what I assumed was his apartment. Hip Hop music blared from two waist high speakers just across the living room we were in now, the volume so loud I could feel the vibration of the bass in my chest.

  Jeremy tossed me his boyish grin before pointing somewhere in the direction of the tiny kitchen just ahead. I nodded as I watched him point again to an empty love seat in the middle of the room, and then give me a gentle push that way. My feet moved slowly, my body ducking and weaving between the sudden crowd that seemed to follow us in. This couldn’t be any more than a one or two bedroom apartment, but I counted more than thirty bodies before I finally perched myself on the edge of the stained furniture.

  This was all new to me. Kegs sat out in the open like flowerpots, red Solo cups littering the dirty carpet every few inches. Some of them were trampled and cracked under people’s staggering feet, others tipped over and spilling what was left of their contents. I tried to keep an eye on Jeremy as he poured two drinks at the kitchen counter, all the while carrying on a conversation with a blonde haired guy, but there were too many bodies, and my neck was beginning to hurt from craning too far to the right.

  I suddenly needed to use the bathroom, and was about to go find it when someone cleared their throat just over where I was perched. My head lifted immediately and I had to blink twice to make sure that it wasn’t my friend Michael standing in front of me. This guy had the same curly brown hair, bulging gut, and double chin, but the way he was staring he obviously didn’t know me, and I didn’t know him.

  “Excuse me…” I murmured, already knowing that he wouldn’t hear me over the music, but I stood anyway bringing me almost chest to chest with him for an instant.

  I side stepped and his beefy fingers caught my wrists, surprising me.

  “You’re beautiful…” he slurred as he leaned forward so that I could hear him, the smell of beer and something sour turning my stomach. “Wanna go in the back…?”

  In the back…? What was in the back…? Wait…I’m getting hit on by a coke bottle glasses wearing fattie…! Eeeeeew! WWJD…what would June do…?! THINK!

  “In your dreams,” I smirked before he could lean away, my perfectly glossed
lips pursing and turning upward against the tip of my nose.

  That was wrong… You were just as fat…maybe fatter yesterday…

  I pushed the thought out of my mind and my body past him, making my way towards the kitchen to find Jeremy. He wasn’t there, and so I continued down the narrow hallway, smacking away a set of hands that tried to grab my ass as I passed. There was a door ahead of me that was closed and another door to my right that was partially cracked. I tried that one first, my heels skidding on the cracked bathroom linoleum as I came to a complete stop.

  White smoke curled so thick in here the room was a complete haze. In the middle of the floor sat a bong that stood at least three feet high, the liquid in its globed bottom bubbling as a girl sucked on the round opening at the top. Four other people were in the bathroom besides her, two of them passed out in the tub, half naked. Jeremy sat perched on the top of the toilet, two red solo cups in his hand.

  “You left me…” I accused, my voice barely above a whisper.

  His eyes had changed… They were rimmed red now, his face serene as he looked at me, but didn’t acknowledge my accusation. It wasn’t like I was his girl, but I hadn’t expected to be left sitting in a crowded room full of people I didn’t know.

  “Shut the door,” the girl sucking on the bong managed in between tokes, a fresh white cloud of smoke filling the room, choking me.

  I coughed once, my eyes burning as I tried to hold back the fit that was threatening to erupt from my lungs. Jeremy’s hand reached out and I took the cup he offered me, shifting uncomfortably in the heels I wore. My full bladder wouldn’t be able to wait much longer, but I wasn’t about to ask them to leave so that I could go. I took another step into the bathroom, pushing the door closed behind me as the girl had asked.

  “Becca…” she smiled as she switched spots with Jeremy, long red hair falling in waves around her shoulders now that she was upright.

 

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