“What are you doing? Is that my phone? How dare you.” She snatched her phone off him.
With the physical contact, Nicolas found his voice. “You’re outraged? You have a child.”
Gabrielle’s face paled for the second time that evening. “You went through my bag and used my phone?”
“And spoke to Fraser. Yes.” He paused, waiting for her to explain—to say something.
“I don’t know what it is you expect me to say.”
“The father ran off?”
“He wasn’t interested in children. Never wanted any.”
That wasn’t that out of the ordinary. “How old is he? Fraser?”
“He’s five.”
Nicolas did some quick calculating. She’d got pregnant with another man’s child while they were together. No chance the child was his, she would have milked him for child-support from the instant Fraser was born if it had been. It figured, he needed to add destroy, to the distract and disappear ethos of her MO. “Not only did you steal my money, and run out on me, but you cheated on me too.”
She didn’t reply, and dropped her eyes.
“So you don’t deny it this time. Thief, cheat, liar, that about sum it up?” Nicolas’ heart pushed at his ribs, willing him to soften, to listen, to check in. The look in her eyes would have melted a weaker man. But weakness was not a trait Nicolas Morganti had ever been accused of having. His head shoved his heart back into its flesh and bone cupboard. The heart was a muscle, not a poetic instrument of moral judgment. “I think you were right. It’s time for you to leave.”
Chapter Six
Don’t ask, don’t ask, don’t ask. Gabrielle stood in Nicolas’s hall and chanted the mantra over and over. As long as he didn’t ask who Fraser’s father was she wouldn’t have to lie.
The world seemed to freeze, the stark white of Nicolas’s apartment adding to the surreal stillness that spread throughout Gabby’s mind. Her mantra calmed her, centering her breath and focus. Thank goodness Fraser was okay, night time phone calls were terrifying. Pictures of Fraser’s birth flashed in her mind’s eye, pictures of his first smile, his first steps, his first words. Special moments that had been just for her. If Nicolas found out what he’d missed… No. He probably wouldn’t care about the precious sentimental stuff. But his ego would want her to pay anyway. Pay in blood if he could manage it.
Nicolas’s words finally registered. He was telling her to leave. Telling her to leave without asking who the father was. Not wanting to push her luck, Gabby stuffed her cell into her bag, grabbed her coat and practically ran from the apartment. Thank god she’d got dressed. Although if she hadn’t left him to get changed, he wouldn’t have had access to her bag.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
She took the stairs in case he decided to run after her and ask her the question she didn’t want to answer. With every step, she berated herself anew. Why hadn’t she quit as soon as she found out he was the new owner. Why had she set foot in his apartment? Why had she let him seduce her? Why hadn’t she locked her phone so that he couldn’t use it? But by the fifth set of stairs it was clear he wasn’t following and she pushed the button to summon the elevator, chewing on a nail as she waited. By the time she got to the ground floor she had run out of questions and her nails were history. Throwing this week’s budget completely out the window, she hailed a cab—if she took the subway in this distracted state someone would no doubt rob her, or maybe even have her committed for mental instability.
“I should get myself committed,” she muttered when a cab finally pulled to the curb, sloshing a quart of frozen street snow over her shoes. After giving her address to the driver, Gabby slumped down into the seat.
“I should hate him.”
She saw the taxi driver give her a glance in his mirror but he didn’t bite. “I should you know. He seduced me, invaded my privacy and called my son, accused me of cheating then kicked me out. Anyone would hate him.”
“I’m sure.”
Really? The one cabby in New York City who didn’t want to gossip? Gabby sighed again. The cold press of the vinyl took her back to the leather sofa in Nicolas’s apartment. The way he looked at her, the night captured in his eyes, the flicker of candles illuminating his searing cheek bones. He was pure passion itself. He kissed her and all thought, all reason, everything, dissolved with her bones and she melted into his arms. When she was with him it was as if the world stopped. Held suspended in time the two of them devoured each other piece by piece, his mouth, her breast, his hand, her neck, every touch making her hotter. Every touch leaving her weaker for his pleasure.
Wet. Aching. Need. She was simply the sum of those three words around Nicolas Morganti and what’s more he seemed to know it, pushing her to accept his passion, driving her to the brink of dissolution.
Damn him. And now this. The night in the Santa grotto had given her a glimmer of hope that Nicolas wasn’t holding her father’s actions against her. Tonight too he’d seemed genuine when he’d asked about her work. About her life.
All that was well and truly over. She’d seen the change in his eyes. From a tempered smoky grey, his pupils had flashed to sharp steel. If he could have, he would have cut her down with those eyes.
“Please forgive me,” she whispered into her hands. Forgiveness? Is that really what she wanted from Nicolas? Forgiveness and compassion? Gabby sighed. Her muscles ached with the strain of trying and failing to hold herself back from him. So tired. Maybe she’d fall asleep and find that this was all just a horrible dream. She shut her eyes and opened them just in case, but no, the lights of New York City still flashed by and the turmoil of her thoughts remained. She wanted more than forgiveness if she was honest with herself. These past few nights with Nicolas had brought back a passion she’d hidden from herself. And they’d brought back an emotion she’d buried deep beneath layers of denial. She still had feelings for Nicolas Morganti. Feelings that made her heart leap when she saw him and sing when he touched her. Why oh why did her father have to go and ruin everything?
Not everything. If she hadn’t got pregnant, if she hadn’t had Fraser. No. It was a dark night, but not dark enough to make her regret the best thing that had ever happened to her. “Sorry, baby,” she whispered to Fraser, hoping he hadn’t felt her dismay from across the city.
Nicolas liked her work. She liked her job. She needed this job. And more than that. She needed—she needed him. Would it be so bad if Nicolas found out he was Fraser’s father? Gabby shook her head at the thought. The dark loathing she’d seen in his eyes was not the love and compassion of a father. It was the look of a ruthless corporate maverick.
It was time to pull herself together. Mr. Able had promoted her for a reason and she had the respect of her whole team. Nicolas hadn’t fired her. He couldn’t, he had no grounds to, she just had to make sure she kept it that way because she wasn’t in any doubt he’d get rid of her if she gave him the chance. She was happy to let him think the worst of her to protect her son. Fraser was what mattered here. Nicolas already thought she was a thief and a liar. Adding cheat to the list was hardly going to make any difference. And if he did decide to go after her job, make it impossible for her to stay at Able’s, she’d get another position after the holiday period. Wouldn’t she?
“Here we go miss.” The cab pulled over to her apartment building and Gabby handed over the majority of this week’s budget. Crap. At least she was home safe. With that thought a smile finally made it all the way from her lips to her eyes. Home.
Bounding up the stairs she turned the key in the lock and beamed as she heard the yell of “Mommy!”
A bundle of dark hair and wide grey eyes peeked out from behind the door. Young, cheerful grey eyes, that were the exact same color as the man who had just called her a cheat and a liar. She pushed the lump of hurt down and found a smile for her son. “And why aren’t you in bed?” She tried to sound stern, but it was hard when Fraser was smiling so impishly up at her and she wanted so to have him in her arms.
>
“I was in bed, but then I needed to call you and then a man called me and well, I couldn’t go back to sleep after that.”
Gabby’s insides froze. “What did the man say?”
“Not much. He asked who I was and I said I couldn’t talk to strangers but then he said his name was Nicolas Macaroni so I told him my name. Was that okay? I thought he must be your friend if he was answering your phone and he told me his name and…”
“It’s okay,” Gabby said as he petered out and gave a big yawn. Nicolas Macaroni. That was a good one, made him sound much less intimidating, she’d have to remember it. “It was Mommy’s boss. Now, I think it’s time for bed.”
Fraser took her hand without argument and the two of them trailed off to his bedroom. “I’ll be right out, Mrs. Patel.”
There wasn’t even a demand for her to check his cupboard for monsters as Gabby tucked the covers around Fraser. She kissed him on the forehead. “Mommy loves you very much little squirrel. Sleep tight.”
Flopping on the sofa she gave her neighbor Indira Patel a weary grin. “Sorry he was up and down tonight.”
“It’s just a phase. He’ll grow out of it soon enough.” The woman gave her a warm smile that said she’d been there plenty before.
“How are you anyway? How are the grandkids?” asked Gabby. “And your hip?” she said, pointing at the heating pad the older woman had pressed to her left side.
“Oh they’re fine. Great actually. It’ll be good to spend some more time with them.” She paused, “And I got news about my hip today. Although it’s a bit good news and bad for you I’m afraid.”
Gabby tipped her head on the side, confused.
“Someone’s been pulled off the waiting list so instead of having to wait till next month I’ve been bumped to the top. I’m getting my new hip. Tomorrow.”
“Oh that’s wonderful. Not bad news at all.”
“Thank you dear. But it means I won’t be able to look after Fraser after school.”
“Of course. Don’t worry about it.” Inside, Gabby’s stomach was churning. Just what she needed. She couldn’t afford childcare. Double crap sandwich, with three day old cheese.
“Of course it won’t make much difference in a week anyways.”
There was more? “You’ve lost me now.”
“You got the notice didn’t you? About the new owners of the building? We talked about it a few months ago. I got a letter last week saying the date was fixed and we’d all have to be out before their contractors arrived.”
Gabby clenched her jaw. She would not cry. “I was told we could stay on. That the new owners wanted to keep some of the apartments tenanted.”
Indira raised an eyebrow. “They’re renovating the whole building. Who said you could stay? That’s so irresponsible.” She tut-tutted then looked aghast at Gabby. “So you don’t have anywhere to go? Oh my dear. I’ll call my daughter. Her place isn’t very big but I’m sure we can squeeze in. I could share with Fraser.”
“No, no.” Gabby held up her hand. “Don’t worry about us. I have a friend we can stay with if we need to. We’ll be fine. I was told we could stay so maybe they’ve got something set aside for us.”
“You’re sure?”
“Positive.” Gabby gave the best smile she could manage. “Thanks again for looking after Fraser.”
“It’s no problem dear.” Her neighbor stood and started towards the front door. “I just hope your new boss doesn’t decide to call these late night meetings too often. It’s not fair on you. I know how hard you young women work these days. And those men in charge have no idea what it takes to juggle everything. Imagine if they had to give birth and hold down a job while looking after their children.”
Gabby laughed, the thought of Nicolas with a mobile in one hand, a baby in the other and a big pregnant stomach ridiculous enough to cut through her growing desperation.
When her neighbor had gone, Gabby flopped on the sofa again. No babysitter, no home, Nicolas Morganti taking over her mind and her job. Dear lord, was there anything else that could go wrong? Putting her head in her hands Gabby succumbed to the overwhelming sense that the world was crumbling around her. Hot tears trickled through her fingers and her shoulders shuddered as she wondered how she was going to pick herself up and go on again. If they were renovating the whole building there wasn’t anywhere for them here. She’d known they had to go one day, but not yet, the Superintendent had promised. Not at Christmas. That was another promise she shouldn’t have believed in. God, she was a terrible mother. So irresponsible. Where would they live? How would Fraser get home from school? How could they afford anything with the new repayments coming out of her pay? What was she going to tell Fraser?
Fraser. His name was the only thing good in all the questions. The only thing good in her life at the moment. You still have a job and a decent-ish salary. True. But for how long remained to be seen. Why oh why did Nicolas Morganti have to be the one that bought Able’s?
Wiping her hands on her skirt Gabby gave a big sniff and shook the desolation from her thoughts. Crying wasn’t going to help anyone. She picked up the mail from the side table, looking for the paper to start the search for a studio that wasn’t in any worse condition that the one they were already paying too much for. Four unopened envelopes demanded her attention. “Probably just bills.”
Ripping into them, the first was the letter from the building’s new owners Indira had spoken about. After scanning it with a sigh, Gabby let it fall to the floor. Nothing she could do about that now. And while it was nice of Indira to offer to share her daughter’s room, it was an impossible offer. Especially with her recovering from surgery. The next two were requests for money from two charities Gabby had once supported. Not really looking, Gabby tore open the fourth.
“No!” Because all the tenants would be leaving soon, the power company had done a special reading of the building’s meter. “I can’t owe that much. It’s just not possible.” But of course it was possible. More than possible. It was a cold winter, Fraser got sick easily and so Gabby had turned the heating on regularly. The resulting bill now sat like a ten ton weight in her hands. “I can’t just afford it.”
Letting the bill fall to the floor with the other mail, Gabby didn’t have the strength to resist a second fall of tears. Curling into a ball she cried as if her heart was breaking. Cried like she had the night she’d run out on Nicolas. Cried for all the unfairness in the world and because in the morning she would have to get up and act as if everything was fine.
“Fraser.” In between her sobs she whispered his name. And with the repeating of those two simple syllables, her tears began to dry up. Wiping at the salty streaks, Gabby gave a big sniff and looked around her. The room was small, the pale yellow paper curling in the corners, the mint green carpet flecked with the stains of too many people and not enough care. She wouldn’t miss the place. She wouldn’t even miss the neighborhood.
“It’s an opportunity,” she tried to tell herself. But what sort of opportunity included no money, and no babysitting support? Finding somewhere to live was almost impossible in New York when you had time and money.
I should have just declared myself bankrupt years ago. The thought curled her tighter into her ball of despair and Gabby pulled a blanket over her head as she cried herself to sleep.
Her mind busied itself sorting through the rush of emotions she’d experienced throughout the day and the dream she fell into felt entirely real. As her dream-self stretched out the stiffness of sleeping on the sofa, Gabby was confused by the clean white walls and expansive views in front of her. Then Nicolas walked in bare-chested, carrying a tray of breakfast and the day’s paper. “How did you sleep?”
“Um. Okay,” she replied. “I slept here?”
“I didn’t have the heart to wake you.”
Fraser. She scanned the room looking for any sign of her son, trying to be subtle while her heart raced.
‘It’s okay, he’s getting ready for our app
ointment.”
She was cautious. “What?”
“Fraser. We have a meeting with the lawyers.” Suddenly the room darkened, Nicolas’s face changed and Gabby recoiled in horror. Lightning crackled from Nicolas’s eyes, and his voice was framed with the deep roll of thunder. “Fraser is mine and I’m going to make sure you never see him again.”
“You can’t…don’t take him…don’t…”
Nicolas grew, his body expanding to fill the room and his presence crushing the bravado out of her.
“You can’t keep him from me.”
“I didn’t mean to. I had no choice. You said you never wanted children,” she managed.
The swollen Nicolas was a solid mass of grey storm cloud. All pretense of being human gone, his energy pressed in on her as lightning shot out around her.
Gabby put up her hands to protect her face. “Fraser! Baby, where are you?”
“Mom? I’m here. Mommy, wake up, you’re being scary.”
Gabby opened her eyes. The morning sun had clawed its way under the curtains and Fraser was standing over her, fright written all over his face. Home. Safe. “Sorry baby. Mommy just had a bad dream.” She rubbed the kinks out of her neck. “Come here.”
He climbed up onto the sofa and she pulled the blanket around the two of them.
“Were the shadow men chasing you?”
“Something like that,” Gabby said. Shadow man, storm man, whatever he was, Nicolas Morganti had really got under her skin last night.
“Why were you sleeping on the sofa?”
“I didn’t mean to. I guess I was just tired and fell asleep after Mrs. Patel left.”
Fraser looked at her closely, then apparently satisfied, moved on. “She’s getting a new hip today. Cool huh? When I grow up, maybe I’ll get a new hip, but I think a new arm would be better. A robot arm that can pick things up out of the fire and stuff.”
Gabby smiled even as her heart sank at the thought of what to do without her trusted babysitter. Now was not the time for a lecture on the ups and downs of hip replacement surgery. “I’m sure when you grow up, you’ll invent something even cooler than a robotic arm.”
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