by Cara North
“I know you do.” Ayden wiped the other cheek as the next tear fell.
“I miss my parents.”
“I understand.” He scooted closer to her.
“I miss you.” Charlie sobbed.
“I’m right here, Charlie.” Ayden pulled her into his arms and held her.
“For now.” Charlie sniffed. “I know you don’t want to hear this, but I missed you so much when you left. I was so glad to keep your apartment. It was as if I still had you in it sometimes. There were days when I swore you would walk back in the door and grump around the kitchen.”
“Grump?” Ayden frowned at that. He still held her and stroked her soft blonde hair.
“Yes. For six months you were my life. And then you left and I died. I cried every night. I fought myself every morning to get out of bed and go back to work. I told myself that someday you would come back to stay and not just to visit.” Charlie knew she was telling him too much. If she wanted to scare him away, this was a great tactic. Yet all her emotions were there, and she couldn’t hide them anymore.
“Charlie, why didn’t you tell me this sooner?” Ayden felt like she just stabbed him in the chest with a knife. He was supposed to protect her, and he had been the one to hurt her the most. He wouldn’t have given a relationship a chance then; they both knew that, but he would have moved her to New York to Virginia. He would have moved her to be near him.
“You didn’t want a relationship. You made that clear. And every year I prayed that you would change your mind.” Charlie clutched his shirt now filled with her tears. “I was afraid to scare you away.”
“Charlie, I am bound to you for the rest of my life.” He pushed her back to face her. He lifted her chin and drew a heavy breath. His chest felt like cinder blocks had replaced his lungs, and he struggled for air. “I never meant to hurt you. I swear to God I didn’t know I was hurting you.”
“I know.” Charlie could see his anguish, and she felt bad. She didn’t want him to feel guilty or responsible. She just had to get it off her chest. “You didn’t hurt me, Ayden. I just missed you. That’s all.”
“I don’t know what to do here.” Ayden felt helpless.
Charlie snickered.
“What?” He looked at her confused.
“You.” Charlie smiled. “You said you didn’t know what to do, but you’re doing exactly what I need you to do.”
“What’s that?”
“You’re holding me.” Charlie hugged him tight.
“Oh.” Ayden pulled her into his lap and held her while she cried.
Charlie’s sobs faded and her breathing slowed. He knew she had finally drifted off to sleep when her grip loosened. Ayden stretched an arm over to the end table and grabbed the remote. He turned off the television and stood with a sleeping Charlie in his arms. He carried her straight to his bedroom and pulled the bedding back. Once he had her tucked in, he climbed in bed next to her. He pulled her close to him with her back along his chest.
Charlie had given him a lot to think about. He had no idea he meant that much to her. He had no idea he meant that much to anyone. Joshua was right he had to surrender. Charlie was the one for him. She always was. He went to sleep with all the memories of the past years running through his mind.
Chapter 15
Charlie woke up in Ayden’s arms. His nose was pressed into the back of her neck, and his breath tickled. He was breathing hard, and his grip on her arm tightened to a painful grasp. Charlie didn’t know what was happening, but for the first time in her life she was afraid of Ayden.
“Ayden?” Charlie said softly.
He mumbled into her neck, and his grip clamped even tighter on the arm he held.
“Ayden?” Charlie tried to pull the arm free.
“I will kill you,” Ayden spoke clearly. “If you touch her, I will fucking kill you.”
Charlie held her breath and realized he had to be asleep and dreaming an awful dream. Her arm felt like it would snap under the pressure, but now she didn’t know what to do. If he didn’t wake up, he might break it, but how could she wake him up without startling him? That response could be even scarier. She remembered when he woke up from a noise in the apartment all those years ago. He entered the bedroom with his weapon at the ready insisted that she take the other gun and hide under the bed while he cleared the tiny apartment.
“Please, Ayden, wake up,” Charlie spoke in as normal of a tone as she could make it.
“Charlie?” Ayden’s eyes opened; he was disoriented and pissed. Last thing he knew he was talking to the asshole that had killed her sister. Now… Shit!
“You’re hurting me.” Charlie held back the tear and touched the hand that still maintained a death grip on her arm.
Ayden was aware then that he didn’t have a hold on Preston Bates’ throat. He had a hold on Charlie. He let go quickly and pulled the arm up so he could see it as he simultaneously sat up in the bed.
“I’m so sorry.” Ayden could see the friction burn and his handprint in red against her pale skin. Never in his life had he hurt a woman, and now he had not only caused her to cry for breaking her heart, but he almost broke her arm. “God I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.” Charlie tried to hide the tears, but it hurt like hell. If Ayden ever got a hold on whoever, he was dreaming about, no doubt he would kill them. But who was the woman in his dreams? “What were you dreaming about?”
Ayden didn’t want to tell her, but under the circumstances he had no choice. “Preston.”
“Why?” Charlie gasped. Why in the world was he dreaming of Preston Bates? The man was in prison for life. Had this been the reason he couldn’t be with her? She brought all of his demons with her.
“I don’t know darlin’.” Ayden pulled her arm up and peppered it with baby kisses. “I thought I had a hold on his throat. It was so real, Charlie. I could feel it, smell it. I could see her.”
Charlie thought for sure if Ayden cried she would die. His voice caught, and he took a deep breath.
“Ayden, it’s okay. I dream about it too sometimes.” Charlie pulled her arm free and gently rubbed over the area. If Ayden ever had his hands on that man’s throat that tightly, he would have been dead. She was sure of that.
“But I hurt you.” Ayden scrubbed his face with his hands. He wasn’t a weak man. He wasn’t an especially emotional one either, but looking at his prints on Charlie made his gut rip in half. “And I swear it was real, and the place was different. I couldn’t make out the details.”
“It was a dream, Ayden. You didn’t hurt me, see.” Charlie tried to play it off. “At least you didn’t pull a gun on me and force me under the bed.”
He snickered. “Charlie, I’m serious.”
“So am I.” Charlie rubbed her hand over his back. It was wet with sweat. He had really been tormented by that dream. “How often do you dream about it?”
“Usually once a year,” Ayden confessed. “But twice this week.”
“Oh.” Charlie realized she was in fact the cause of the nightmares. Apparently, she haunted him every year. While she was dreaming of making love to Ayden the night before they would meet, he was dreaming of Michael’s murder.
She didn’t have the chance to say anything else before the alarm clock sounded with Elvis singing “Jailhouse Rock.” Ayden stopped the King and turned to Charlie.
“Tell Evelyn you can’t start work until next week.”
“What? Why?” She felt her heart racing. She dumped a lot on him last night. He just dropped a lot on her this morning, and she was still processing the day ahead of them.
“So I can take you home to meet my momma.” Ayden pulled her chin up toward him. “That is if you want to.”
“I… I…” Charlie stammered.
“Good.” He smooched her lips. “I have to sub for Leon today. I’ll be home before five. I could take you to Neal’s…”
“He’s going to pick me up at seven.” Charlie could barely keep up with him this morning. He went from
threatening her life to trying to block her dinner with Neal again in no time. “Besides you have your own dinner date to pick up.”
“Where are you going to eat tonight?”
“Ayden.” Charlie moved to get out of the bed but found herself being playfully tackled by the Wolf. “Ayden!”
Ayden covered her with his heavy body and kissed her neck. “We could both go to the same place.” He kissed again. “Then Neal could entertain her and I could have dinner with you.” He kissed again.
“What is it with you and mornings?” Charlie gripped his face with both hands and forced him to look at her.
“I hate mornings.” Ayden tried to kiss her lips, but she held his face firm. He was close enough, so he just licked out and caught her top lip with his tongue.
“I can tell.” Charlie gave up and let him kiss her.
Once she let go of his face, he nipped her bottom lip lightly and slid his arms around and under her back. His lips moved from a scorching hot kiss to her neck as he lifted her shoulders up and her head dropped back. “Ayden.”
“Yes, darlin’.” Ayden still licked, kissed and nipped at her neck.
“You have to go to work.” Charlie was falling under his spell in rapid fashion.
“I don’t have to be there for two hours.” Ayden moved farther down as he lifted her higher.
“What?” Charlie stroked his back as her own hands betrayed her and joined him.
“I wanted to make sure I had time to talk to you this morning, so I set it an hour earlier.”
Ayden started to cover her nipple with his lips, but Charlie rolled forcing him to his side and then pushed him to his back.
“Now you listen here, Ayden Wolf.” Charlie sat straddling him.
“You have my full attention, darlin’.” Ayden reached for her breasts, but she swatted his hands. “You want control? Tell me what you want me to do then.”
“This isn’t about sex.” Charlie looked down at him with a serious expression. His baby blue eyes were dark with desire. He pulled his bottom lip in and lifted into her with his hips pressing himself against her. She had changed into pajamas before they settled onto the couch. They were long and loose, apparently not worth the investment. She gasped. “You behave.”
“Oww.” Ayden grabbed the spot on his chest where she pinched him. “What’s that for?”
“Ayden, we agreed not to have sex until we knew each other better. I poured my heart out to you last night…”
“I didn’t plan to have sex with you, Charlie.” Ayden sat up and looked her eye to eye. He grabbed her neck and the small of her back and repositioned his legs. In one swift motion, he put her on her back again. He hovered over her now facing the foot of his bed. “I just wanted breakfast.”
“Ay-den.” Charlie bit his shoulder since he was already at her neck again. He didn’t flinch; in fact he growled. “Damn it, Wolf.”
“What baby?” Ayden let out a long sigh. She was still disgruntled.
“You’re moving way too fast.” Charlie never thought she would hear those words come out of her mouth, yet there they were.
“Oh.” He gently kissed her neck and placed a long slow lick up to her ear. “I can move real slow for you, Charlie.”
“That’s not what I meant.” Her voice was more in a whisper than she wanted it to be.
“Do you want me or don’t you?” Ayden pushed up to his elbows and looked her eye to eye.
Charlie was cornered. Of course, she wanted him, but she was on emotional overdrive. She hadn’t had the chance to process the confessions of last night much less the advances of this morning.
Ayden wasn’t sure what was going on with this woman. Last night she all but told him she was in love with him and now this morning she was pushing him away.
“You’ve never even taken me on a date.” Charlie had to come up with something, and she didn’t want to use her foot or arm as a way out, but she had to process things.
“What?” Ayden leaned on one elbow and propped his head on his fist. His other hand now smoothed her hair. He loved the soft texture and the way it smelled. Having Charlie there in the mornings was the best thing he had felt in years, even if she was cranky as hell.
“A date, Ayden, like the other women you have dated.” She made air quotation marks when she said dated.
“What do you call the other night with the candles and the music and the touching?” Ayden twisted a lock of hair around his finger. She was amusing him now. Was she jealous?
“Dinner.” Charlie drew her brows down. Ayden was obviously amused by her, and that made her even more frustrated.
“No, darlin’, what I made last night was dinner. What you did, well, that was something else.” He winked at her.
“You have never taken me out anywhere.” Charlie knew she sounded ridiculous. They had known each other forever, and she had a fear of crowds, but it was his idea to do things properly.
“You’re right.” Ayden smiled. She was jealous. Fair enough. He was jealous, too. “Tomorrow night, dinner and a movie, tell me if there’s anything you want to see and we’ll find out who’s playing it around here.”
“I…” Charlie was silenced by a sweet gentle kiss that lingered. As soon as she slid her arms around him, he pushed up and out of them. Damn it! “So what are you going to do today?” Ayden was out of the bed and pulling clothes from the closet and then the dresser.
“Laundry.” Charlie shrugged. She had no idea what she was going to do with herself today.
“Have you ever been horseback riding?” Ayden pulled on the pants and then the shirt.
“Is that a trick question?” Charlie sat up and crossed her arms.
“No, darlin’. I may be hung like a horse, but I assure you I’m much more enjoyable to ride.” Ayden watched as her face flushed red. Satisfied he had gotten to her, he continued, “I mean real horses. My folks have a horse farm now.”
“No.” Charlie wanted to choke him. He had her all mixed up and was clearly enjoying every moment of it.
“No, you don’t think I’ll be a good ride or no, you have never ridden a horse?” Ayden sat next to her on the bed and pulled his boots on.
“No. I Have Never Been On A Horse.” Charlie spoke in all capitals and annunciated each word.
“You look like you want to strangle me, Charlie.” Ayden kissed the tip of her nose.
“I feel like biting you.” She huffed.
“Now that I’m all dressed for work you want to play?” Ayden stood quickly before she could get a hold on him. She practically lunged for him.
“You are going to get it, Wolf.” Charlie was so frustrated with his humor.
“And I can’t wait for you to give it to me, darlin’.” Ayden licked his lips. “I just love these new pajamas. They make me work more.”
* * *
Well Hell. Charlie watched him as he left the bedroom. He had never been a morning person. She used to have coffee ready every morning, and it took two cups before he would speak. Now the man was wide awake and horny every morning. In addition to the unexpected attention of a sexual nature, he was also not acting freaked out by her confessions last night. In fact, this morning he was talking about taking her home to see his momma.
Charlie twisted her hand over the mark on her arm where he had squeezed in his sleep. The fact that she brought nightmares with her wasn’t stopping him either. She patted her bare feet across the floor and down the hall. Ayden was putting the dishes away. She could hear it.
“I’ll do that.” Charlie crossed her arms and leaned against the counter. “It’s already done.” Ayden put the last plate in the cabinet.
“Damn it, Ayden, you can’t keep doing everything around here.” Charlie snatched his thermos up as he reached for it. “I’ll pour the coffee.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Ayden stepped back before she really did bite his hand off. “Is this a womanly thing?”
“Excuse me?” Charlie screwed the top onto the thermos and set it on the
counter.
“You know. The PMS thing.” Ayden shrugged.
“The P-M-S thing?” Charlie was flabbergasted. If anyone acted like they had PMS, it was him.
“I’m a big boy, Charlie. I am aware that women have things to deal with.” Ayden shrugged. She had been so moody. He didn’t remember her being moody like this. For that matter thinking back he never remembered her having any womanly issues the entire six months they had lived together. Of course, he was only there at night, and they didn’t sleep together. Huh.
Charlie was sure her mouth was agape. Here he was advising her on what women had to deal with. Never in her imaginary relationship with Ayden did she have this discussion. Proving his theory true, they really did need to spend more time together and get to know each other better. Maybe she had romanticized him too much in her mind.
“The only thing I have to deal with is you. I’m on a new birth control, thank you, and I don’t get periods every month, just four times a year. I just started taking it before I moved here. I have months before you have to deal with that!” Charlie informed him.
“You are absolutely adorable like this, just cranky and pouting. I just want to eat you up.” Ayden closed the distance between them and hugged her tightly. Charlie still had her arms crossed, and that suited him fine since she wasn’t able to push him or pinch him, and it gave enough space between them she couldn’t bite him either. “I’ll see you this afternoon, darlin’.”
Ayden kissed her forehead and let her go. Charlie watched him walk out the door. He looked more like he was headed off on some secret mission instead of to class. The pants were like a tactical military uniform but black. His black collared shirt was plain except for the silver lettering above the left pocket. Charlie assumed it was a staff shirt. It looked like a symbol for something. She rolled her eyes at the closed door and went back up the stairs and back to his bed.
* * *
Ayden got one important piece of information from her morning madness. She was on birth control. That meant he could enjoy Charlie anywhere, anyhow and not have to worry about a condom. They had both been inactive for so long that any health issues would have surfaced by now. He was testing the idea of being in love. He wouldn’t tell her though, not until the time was right. She obviously wanted to slow things down, ironic now that he wanted to speed them up.