Without Apology (Without Series Book 1)

by Aubrey Bondurant

“What will Phillip say?” If he was a man not used to hearing no, how would it go?

  “To be honest, I have no clue. Simon is the most decisive guy I know, though, and I believe Phillip respects him. But if Simon gets pushed, I don’t see him backing down.”

  “I need to talk to him.” I wanted to tell him we could work on this together. He was trying to be more flexible, which meant I needed to meet him halfway. I couldn’t put the misgivings caused by my father on a man who’d only had a few days to try to rearrange the one thing in his life he’d always made a priority. The man I loved was doing something to prove he could put me first. I needed to do the same.

  “You could try calling him in a few hours, although face to face would be better. But I’m afraid a drive to New York is out of the question this time around. It wouldn’t get you there fast enough.”

  No, it wouldn’t. And there was suddenly so much I needed to say. The fact he was willing to show a grand gesture meant one thing. I needed to do the same.

  “I have a plan. If you’re up for it, I could use your help.”

  CHAPTER THIRTY SIX

  Simon

  I arrived at my flat in New York a little after seven o’clock Monday evening. My meeting with Phillip was set for the next morning. During it, I intended to inform him of my plan to stay in Dallas. At least temporarily. For enough time to see if Peyton and I could make a real go of it. With my accumulated wealth, it wasn’t like I needed to work if I didn’t want to. But I couldn’t see myself idle, either. I thought I might explore some real estate aspirations if Phillip wasn’t supportive and I needed to quit. I hadn’t asked much of my boss over the years and had made him millions. The least he could do now was accommodate my request to lessen my travel. Perhaps I could train someone else to be on-site for the longer projects.

  I’d never felt this way before. Never been ready to prioritize something else above my job. But I was in love with Peyton. Of that I was sure. She’d forced me to look at some hard truths in my life, though. I now understood that before I could prove my love, I needed to earn her trust. She’d understood I wouldn’t tell Phillip no to London, and her look of betrayal at the time still haunted me. I needed to ensure going forward I didn’t risk her disappointment at every turn. In the future, when I made promises, I fully intended to keep them.

  I’d always put the job first. In my defense, work had been my escape from a painful childhood. My job had been my route to self-worth for so many years now that I simply didn’t know any other way to go about it. But now that I did, I was grabbing onto it with both hands.

  The knock on my front door surprised me. It was after ten o’clock in the evening, and I hadn’t ordered any food for delivery. After looking out the peephole, I sighed. It was Emma. No doubt she’d come to try talking me into giving in to Phillip tomorrow. I was aware my decision to slow down my travel affected others beside myself. Emma had been with me for a long time, and I hoped she’d continue to work with me even if I did change my home base to Dallas and wasn’t on the road as much.

  I opened the door, startled to find she wasn’t alone. Someone was beside her, curled up on a luggage cart where she slept like a child.

  Peyton.

  “What the hell?”

  Emma seemed out of breath, tired, and also a bit guilty. “It was the only way I could get here short of carrying her. She kind of passed out at take-off and hasn’t quite been upright since. Thankfully, I had a wheelchair meet us at the plane. Then the driver helped get her into and out of the car. And they had this cart in the lobby for me to get her up here.”

  My eyes grew big with absolute astonishment. “She flew? On an airplane?”

  “Yes. For you. Grand gesture and all that love stuff. I don’t think this is what she had in mind with the surprise part, but we’ve had to adapt. So, can you please help me get your girlfriend inside to sleep this off?”

  Right. I was so stunned it took me a moment to put the wheels in motion. I moved quickly to pick her up and take her inside. While doing so, I couldn’t help pausing to enjoy the feel of her warm body in my arms.

  “Is she drunk? Is that how you got her on the plane?”

  Emma blushed slightly. “I got her onto the plane with a Xanax. At her request. But she kept herself there with a few too many mini bottles of whiskey.”

  “Christ. I’m reasonably sure you shouldn’t mix the two.”

  “I informed her of that very thing, but she was quite insistent. And frankly, scared shitless. It was either I allow her to drink or let her freak the hell out. Good thing in first class they kept the drinks coming. And even better that she didn’t puke or become a loud drunk. She just sort of went to sleep, thank God.”

  “What made her come?”

  Emma avoided my eyes.

  “What did you do?”

  She raided my refrigerator, taking out a water and chugging it while I put Peyton on my couch. “Nothing. This was her idea. I merely facilitated.”

  “You didn’t tell her anything to persuade her?”

  “She came by the office to see you and was upset to hear you’d already left. I suppose she thought maybe you’d given up on things. So I told her you were here to talk to Phillip. That you were trying to figure out this life/work balance thing and wanted this to work.”

  She paused and then huffed as I waited her out.

  “Look, I defend the people I care about. And since you’re the only person who bears that title in my life, there you have it. Although I have to say Peyton may have put herself in that circle now, too. Anyway, I told her how hard you’re trying and that you could use a little leeway because it’s new for you. I wanted to do what I could. So be mad about my overstepping. Yell at me or whatever. But understand I’d do it a thousand times over it if means you get to be happy.”

  I walked over and hugged her. The gesture was so unexpected for both of us, she nearly dropped her water.

  “Jesus, warn a girl when you’re going to be all weird with hugging.”

  I grinned at her attempt to pretend she didn’t care.

  “I’m in love with her,” I admitted, stepping away.

  She flashed me a smile. “I know. And judging by her getting on a plane, it should be obvious she feels the same. Now, then, since I’ve already overstepped, I figure I might as well ask what you’re planning to tell Phillip tomorrow morning?”

  “I’m hoping to shift my home base to Dallas for a while. Perhaps I can train someone else to put on site for the long-term projects. If that doesn’t work out, or even if it does, I’d like to pursue my own real estate investments. For all of this, I still need you.” She might not show it, but I knew she was probably worried about the future.

  “Of course you will. We’ll have to talk about me moving to Texas. Not sure I can do the country life long-term. Speaking of which, you’re on your own for getting her back there.”

  I chuckled. “Deal.”

  Her gaze went behind me to the sofa.

  Peyton was now sitting up. “Am I still flying?”

  Her eyes were unfocused and expression confused. Her hair was a mess, her makeup gone, and I’d never seen her look more beautiful.

  Emma answered, “No, love, you’re here with Simon. I’m leaving the two of you now.” She then turned to me. “Call me if you need anything. Good luck.”

  With that, she was out my front door.

  “How do you feel?” I noted Peyton was now staring at her hand in front of her face as if trying to gauge where it came from.

  “I feel weird. I need to see Simon.”

  I smiled and went over to kneel in front of her. Although she might be out of it, having her here with me was the best high in the world. “I’m right here.”

  Her gaze settled on me. “Am I in New York?”

  “Yes. At my flat.”

  “I did it. I flew.” She was in obvious awe of her feat.

  For my part, I was so proud of how she’d overcome her fears. “You did. I can’t believe yo
u’d do so, but I’m glad you’re here.”

  “I was worried you left for good.”

  “No. I planned to come back as soon as I spoke with Phillip.”

  “I need to find Emma. She’s gonna help me find Simon.”

  Oh, boy. We might be at this for a while. Deciding to play along, I swept her hair out of her face. “Why do you need to find him?”

  “To tell him I love him.”

  I hoped it wasn’t the drugs and liquor talking. “He loves you, too.”

  “I should’ve given us more time to see if we could work out the conflicts involving our jobs and travel. I wasn’t completely fair because of my dad and how he was. I’m sorry.” She expelled a long breath, lay back down on the couch, and promptly fell asleep.

  Hearing her declaration brought a lump of emotion to my throat. I slipped off her shoes before carrying her into my bedroom. As I undressed her carefully to make her more comfortable, all I could think about was that I could spend the rest of my life taking care of this woman. Not that she’d let me entirely, but perhaps that was the key. I wanted to take care of her, but I certainly didn’t need to.

  After undressing myself, I slipped into the bed beside her.

  Holding her tight, I whispered in the dark, “I shouldn’t have made promises I couldn’t keep, especially knowing how your father sacrificed his family for work. I’m sorry.”

  Those two words felt foreign on my lips as they passed in my whisper. And yet I meant them. She’d battled her demons to come see me. The least I could do was give her a long overdue apology.

  Now if only I could do it while she was awake.

  CHAPTER THIRTY SEVEN

  Peyton

  I woke with my stomach rolling. Out of pure instinct, I bolted from the bed in search of a bathroom. Luckily, there was only one door on my side of the room and a blissfully open toilet waiting for me to vomit into it. Not that there was much in my stomach. I felt someone behind me and hands pulling back my hair. Then a familiar British accent.

  “You all right?”

  Not exactly the reunion with Simon I’d pictured. “I think so.” Finally righting myself to vertical, I peered around the familiar bathroom of his condo. “I’m in New York?”

  “You are, indeed. Emma brought you here last night. You were a bit passed out.”

  Poor Emma. I’d hoped for her moral support, not actually having to babysit me. I took a deep breath, flushed the toilet, and moved to the sink to splash water on my face and rinse out my mouth. He handed me a new toothbrush, for which I was grateful. It got the awful taste out of my mouth. After that, I took the towel he offered and finally made eye contact with him in the mirror. But not before catching my own reflection.

  Oh, good grief. Not only was my reunion the worst ever, but my appearance was even more abysmal. Pathetically, I smoothed my wild hair down even though the action wasn’t doing much. I looked down to see I was in my underwear and one of his soft T-shirts.

  “What are the chances of a do-over whereby I shower, change, and go outside of your door to knock and pretend I’ve just arrived?”

  He smirked, looking way to good in a—dammit—suit. Of course, he was in a suit.

  “Zero chance, I’m afraid. However, I’ll bring in your suitcase, and feel free to take a shower while I order up food. I’ll also get you something for your head.”

  “’Kay.” Because what else do you say to someone in a moment like this? Suddenly, all of the things I’d wanted to tell him were scrambled in my brain, drowned out by a terrible bass drum playing a beat of humiliation.

  He came into the bedroom with my suitcase in one hand and a bottle of water and pills in his other. “Here you go.”

  “What time is it? You haven’t gone into the office yet, have you?” Because now it was dawning on me why he’d be in a suit.

  “It’s after ten, and yes, I already had my meeting at eight this morning with Phillip. I left you a note in case you woke up, but luckily, you didn’t.”

  Oh, no. I’d screwed up, and I was too late. I actually felt my lower lip wobble. Like a two-year-old. Knowing tears were next, I turned around and started the shower. I didn’t want him to see my tears or dismay.

  “Hey, hey.” He spun me around, and then put his hand under my chin, lifting it up so we were eye to eye.

  “Story of my life to be late.”

  “Walk me through what it is you think you’re too late for.” He reached beyond me to stop the spray of water.

  “Well, let’s say for example, someone traveled across the country with a declaration to make which might impact your job choice and meeting this morning, but ended up passed out and waking up too late to make it?”

  “You asking for a friend?” There was humor in his eyes which made me smile.

  “Yes, I shall call her ‘Humili-eyton’ with an e-y.”

  His lips twitched, fighting a grin. “Must’ve been some declaration if your friend got onto a plane.”

  “It was. She even practiced. Now it’s ruined because you’ve already met with Phillip. Please tell me you didn’t quit your job or get fired.”

  “I didn’t quit or get fired.”

  “Wait. Are you only telling me that, or is it true?”

  “It’s true. I did, however, inform him that when I take holiday, I expect him to honor it. It was high time I established some boundaries. To be fair to him, though, this was the first occasion I’d ever asked for them.”

  “What did he say?”

  “He promised next time he would, but he needed me in London on Thursday.”

  I fought my disappointment especially since I’d prepared for this. “I see.”

  “To which I told him I was unable to as I had plans. However, I would be happy to fly out next Monday. I was supposed to be on a plane back to Dallas right about now for my own declaration.”

  “Which was?”

  He took a deep breath, looking uncharacteristically vulnerable. “I know I hurt you, not only by leaving your sister’s house on Friday, but also and especially by delaying our holiday. I should’ve been adamant from the beginning about setting boundaries with Phillip. It was naïve to assume I could balance both work and a new relationship without having a come to Jesus with my boss first. I’m sorry.”

  Tears filled my eyes. “You apologized.”

  He kissed me softly. “Long overdue. My father was never worthy of an apology, but you certainly are. It was high time I got past it.”

  “My declaration isn’t as good.”

  “I think you getting on a plane was declaration enough. Seems we both conquered our demons. Do you remember anything from last night?”

  “Glimmers.” A memory slammed into me. “Was there a luggage cart involved?”

  He started laughing. “Afraid so. It’s how Emma got you up here.”

  I covered my face with my hands. Surprisingly, I didn’t have quite the hangover I probably deserved. “God, I owe her big time. And I really need that do-over.”

  “You and me both, but then we wouldn’t be here. And I happen to like you here with my shirt on you.”

  I offered a tentative smile as he tucked my hair behind my ear in a sweet gesture.

  “If I were to have a do over and arrived vertical instead of on a cart I’d say: I now understand why you left on Friday. I also realized London was sprung on you about the same time it was on me, and I should’ve given more leeway for you to deal with it. This concept of a relationship is new for you, especially having dedicated your entire life to your job. It’s not easy to slow down. I should’ve appreciated it would take more time to sort out.”

  “I should’ve appreciated it, too. As it is, I’m planning to make my home base Dallas for the next few months. Phillip and I agreed I’d train someone else to do on-site for part of the time, which means I’ll still be traveling some. Matter of fact, I’m hoping to start a couple of real estate investments, and Texas is a good place to begin.”

  “Are you serious?” Th
at he was willing to move to Dallas in order to give us a shot meant a lot.

  “Yes. Suddenly I have an affinity for work/life balance.”

  “I love you. That was the other part of my declaration, FYI. Which now sounds rather lame when I say it like that. FYI. Who in the world says I love you with an FYI? See, last night would’ve been so much better.”

  He smirked. “You did say it last night.”

  “While on the luggage cart?”

  He shook his head. “Nope. Shortly after, when you were telling me how you needed to find Simon. And by the way, I love you, too.”

  Now I was smiling. “Nothing like an FYI and by the way declaration of love.”

  His face suddenly got serious while his hands framed my face. “How’s this, then? I’ve never met someone in my entire life who can make me laugh the way you do. You put joy into a life where I hadn’t even appreciated it was missing. Once I realized that, everything else mattered less. My job. The travel. New York. None of it held the same appeal. I realize this is fast, but like you said on our very first date, it’s not about the time frame, it’s about what you feel. I think part of me knew the moment Laverne informed me that you were quite single that my life would be forever changed.”

  His words were so touching that I had to work to keep the tears from welling up. He kissed me then. It was gentle before he stopped.

  “How is your stomach?”

  “Mm. I’m feeling better by the moment. But one final compatibility test is required.”

  “What’s that?”

  “I have a fantasy. Paper scattering, no-holds-barred sex on your desk.”

  He chuckled. “One big problem. I don’t keep papers on my desk; they’re all filed away.”

  Of course they were. “Spoilsport.”

  “Although I have seen your desk. Now, that would be a mess.”

  “I’ll have a bigger office soon.”

  “It’s a date.”

  EPILOGUE

  Simon

  It was official. I was a Texan. One with a British accent and whose love of football was called soccer in the States. At least I now owned a pair of cowboy boots and over the last year could say I’d come to tolerate country music. That ought to lend to my street cred.