by Sadie Moss
“How?”
“You’re a Blighted woman, suddenly turned Gifted. But you haven’t left your people behind. You’re still one of them. And you will fight for them.”
“I….” My voice trailed off.
I couldn’t deny I still subconsciously included myself among the Blighted and probably always would. And it was true I’d come to the Capital with the sole intention of aiding the Resistance. But it was one thing to think and do those things secretly, in private. It was another thing altogether to be made into some sort of symbol, some larger-than-life icon of an entire movement.
Fuck. I couldn’t even fill out Kate’s shoes. There was no way I could fit into the shoes of that twenty-foot-tall version of myself.
“The Resistance has stopped hiding, killer.” Fen bounced on the balls of his feet, his excitement palpable. “We’ve come out of the shadows. We’re openly recruiting—and people are coming to us in droves. The headquarters are filled to capacity, but sub-cells have been forming all around the Outskirts. It keeps the Representatives on their toes, and keeps us light on our feet.”
My head spun, trying to process everything. “So… the Representatives know I’m with the Resistance?” I glanced at Jae. “No wonder you warded the shit out of this place.”
He shook his head. “No, the Resistance has never claimed you as a member. I’m sure the Representatives suspect, but all Noble has done is take what was already public knowledge about you and shape it into a compelling story.” Warmth flashed in his emerald eyes. “It didn’t take much. Your story is incredible, Lana.”
“So now I’m just ‘The Crow?’ What does that mean? What do I do?”
“You don’t do anything, kitten. Or rather, you just do what comes naturally and let the legend take care of itself.” Akio’s voice held an amused tone that made me want to punch him.
Scrubbing my hands over my face, I let out a growl. “Right. Let the legend take care of itself. I really can’t wait to meet this Noble guy.”
“He’s eager to meet you too,” Jae said. Then his face darkened. “But we have to prioritize stopping Rain. If he succeeds in another magic pull, the Resistance’s entire goal will be moot. Whether it kills the Gifted this time or merely strips their magic, the end result either way will be widespread chaos and death. The fewer hands power is concentrated in, the harder it becomes to wrest back control.”
The dinner I’d just eaten turned into a rock in my stomach. “Rain told me he needed the magic from just a few more strong mages to power the spell, and he got to at least one man before me. But as far as I know, I was the only prisoner left in his compound. So my escape should slow him down at least a little bit. Shit. I should’ve tried to find his machine and break it while I was there.”
“No, you shouldn’t have,” Jae said sternly. “You were weak and badly injured, and I’m sure it’s well protected. We need more magical firepower on our side before we attempt to destroy it.”
“Or we could just kill Rain.” My words sounded bloodthirsty, but I didn’t care. I was sick of death following me around, but I’d make an exception for that fucker.
“We can’t. Not yet.” Corin’s voice was strained, as if it pained him to say it.
I whipped my head toward him. “Why the fuck not? He’s a murdering psychopath!”
“We know, killer. But it’s bigger than just him. He’s our proof that the Blighted didn’t cause the Great Death.” Fenris ducked his head to catch my eyes. “If he dies before the truth gets out, his secret will die with him.”
“They’re right,” Jae said softly. “We need to let the world know what he’s done. We need to let the Representatives know.”
I threw a glance over my shoulder at the television.
The screen was now displaying a witch and warlock squaring off over two cauldrons in some kind of brewing contest, but all I could see was the image of myself, larger-than-life in a sweeping blue dress. My four behind me. The silhouette of a crow above my head.
Those were some awfully damn big shoes to fill.
But I had to try.
I turned back to face the men, forcing my unwilling body to press away from the couch and stand straight. “Then tomorrow, I guess I better crash another council meeting.”
There was a time in my life when, regardless of the wisdom of my decision, I would’ve marched right back up the mountainside to Rain’s lair in the middle of the night and thrown myself headfirst into a battle I was ill-prepared for and likely to lose—just because I couldn’t stand waiting.
As I stared up at the dark ceiling in my bedroom, I sort of wished I was still that person.
Fuck waiting.
Fuck strategizing and playing angles and luring people into traps.
There was a bad man out there planning to do very bad things, and if I died trying to stop him… well, that was better than not trying, right?
But I couldn’t think like that anymore. When I was just a loner mercenary living and working on my own, I could be as rash and impulsive as I liked. If I made a mistake or didn’t think things through, the only one to suffer for it would be me. But now, there were four men who needed me to stay alive. Hundreds of Resistance members who believed I was some sort of leader. And thousands of others whose lives depended on me, whether they knew it or not. If I acted impulsively, I wasn’t just gambling with my own life; I was risking all of theirs.
That thought was not helping me sleep.
My four were curled up on the large bed with me, each one of them touching me in some way. Jae’s hand grasped mine, our fingers interlaced. Fen was spooning Jae to get closer to me, his large palm resting on my stomach. Corin was curled up on my other side, and Akio’s hand was tangled in my hair. The patterns of our breath played off each other, forming a singular sound—as if we were one entity.
It felt like that sometimes. Like we were parts of a whole, each of us strong in our own right, but unstoppable together.
Gods, I hoped that was true.
Not wanting to disturb anyone, but too jittery to keep staring at the ceiling in silence, I released Jae’s hand and slid downward then crawled off the foot of the bed. When I turned to look back, a smile parted my lips despite my churning anxiety. The men had all shifted slightly, closing up the gap I’d left behind. But I knew as soon as I returned, the space would open back up for me.
I crept downstairs, through the quiet house, and out the back door. Jae had keyed me into the new wards, but I still glanced up at the glow around the house warily as I entered the sprawling garden.
The moon was high in the sky, casting a bright blue light over the flowers and hedges that lined the path. There was a chill in the air, and I wrapped my arms around myself. It wasn’t unbearable, but after ten days of being too cold all the time, my body craved warmth.
When I reached the bench we’d gathered around the day my four first arrived here, I sat down, pulling my knees up to my chest. I closed my eyes and inhaled the sweet scent of lilacs.
I wish Beatrice were here. I wish I could talk to her.
Twice, Rain had taken us from each other.
I couldn’t get her back, but I’d be damned if I let him destroy any other families.
“Couldn’t sleep?”
The voice made me jump, and my eyes flew open as I instinctively summoned a small flame.
Akio held his hands out. “Relax, kitten. No need to greet me with your usual level of violence.”
I snorted but snuffed the flame. “No, I couldn’t sleep. Sorry, I tried not to wake anyone when I left.”
“You didn’t. I was already awake.” His eyes were like reflections of the night sky above, glimmering with starlight.
The incubus sank languidly onto the bench beside me, and we sat in silence for a few moments. When I rubbed the goose bumps on my arms, he glanced over at me. Then he leaned forward, pulling his dark, long-sleeved Henley over his head.
He held it out to me, and I quirked an eyebrow. “You really will use a
ny excuse to take your shirt off, won’t you?”
“I could let you die of hypothermia if you prefer,” he said dryly, making me purse my lips to hide a smile. Gods, he really was dramatic.
“All right, give me that.”
I swiped the large shirt from his hands and slipped it on over my tank top, relishing the way his warmth and scent still clung to it. I almost lifted it to my nose to inhale the spicy smell of him, but caught myself—though maybe not fast enough, if his smug grin was any indication.
“So, what keeps a kitten awake at night when she should be resting and recovering?”
I huffed a laugh and gave him a sideways glance. “Seriously?”
“What? I’m not allowed to ask?”
“No, you are. It’s just… you really want to know?”
“Why not?” One side of his mouth lifted, and I couldn’t help but remember how soft his lips had felt against mine. “I can be a good listener. If it helps, pretend I’m Jae.”
I sputtered, his words catching me off guard. What did he mean by that? “I don’t only confide in him! I talk to Corin and Fen all the time. And I’ll talk to you anytime if you just ask.”
“I thought that’s what I just did.”
Oh. He had me there.
Feeling suddenly awkward, I rubbed my hands on my soft pants. “Well, I think an easier question to answer would be what’s not keeping me up. There’s so much, Akio. So much to do, so much to consider. So much riding on this. I’m not used to taking care of anyone but myself, and I don’t feel qualified for any of the responsibility I’ve been given.” I paused, giving him a chance to jump in and say something comforting, but he just watched me, his tattooed arms crossed over his chest. So I went on. “I don’t know who to trust anymore. Besides you four, I mean. There have been so many lies, so much betrayal. Corin says we have to trust someone to move forward, but I’m so scared of being wrong again.”
I ran out of words then, though thoughts continued to streak like comets through my mind.
Akio shifted his gaze to the small burbling fountain nestled among the flowers in the garden, his tongue darting out to wet his lips.
“I loved a woman once.”
My eyes went wide. That was not at all what I’d expected him to say. I angled my body toward his a little, trying not to make my intense interest too obvious. “Oh?”
He smiled sardonically. “Don’t sound so surprised, kitten. I am capable of the emotion.”
“Uh, right. I mean, of course.”
“This was many, many years ago. Long before the Great Death, before the Resistance. When I was just a human trying to find my way in the world. Looking for someone to build a life with.” He sighed softly. “Then I found Ria. She was beautiful, intelligent, and sophisticated. A powerful mage. Too good for me, I was sure. But she wanted me, and I didn’t question my good fortune. Our affair was like a whirlwind; even now, looking back on it, it almost doesn’t seem real. Days and nights spent in each other’s arms, the entire world forgotten.”
I picked at a thread on my pants, trying to unwind the knot of jealousy hardening in my stomach. “Sounds… nice.”
“Oh, kitten.” He chuckled. “It was more than nice. It was sin made corporeal. It was pleasure unlike any I had ever experienced.” Akio shifted next to me, his body growing tense. His voice dropped. “She evidently felt the same way. But while I was convinced I’d fallen in love with her, despite having known her just a few short weeks, she wanted me for nothing more than sex.”
“Oh….” I said dumbly, my gut twisting for an entirely different reason now.
“While I was making plans to ask her to marry me, she made a deal with a god and cast a powerful spell to turn me into an incubus. Apparently, it wasn’t enough for us to share our bodies willingly, out of love. She wanted to own the pleasure I gave her, to preserve it and control it. She turned me into a demon of lust to serve her.”
Holy fuck.
Silence settled between us, broken only by the call of an owl in the distance.
My heart ached at the pain in Akio’s smooth voice. Though he might claim the memory was so old it felt like a dream, the wound was real, and it was still fresh. I didn’t know why he was telling me this right now, but I got the feeling he hadn’t shared the story with many people.
And shit, no wonder he was always so hot and cold with me, why he seemed to chafe at the connection my magic wove between us more than the others did. I’d rebelled against the bond myself for a long time, because it brought back terrifying echoes of my indentured servitude to the Gifted man, Edgar. I hadn’t been able to see a “bond” as anything positive, only as a loss of control and subjugation to another person. Given Akio’s history, I was sure he felt the same.
“I’m sorry. That’s awful. What did you do?” I nudged him gently.
He looked down at me, the angles of his beautiful face hard in the moonlight.
“I did just what she intended. I served her pleasure for many years. She had turned me into a creature of lust, and I had no control over my instincts at first. But gradually, I began to come back to myself, flashes of the man I had been in life returning. And when I was fully in control once again, I killed her.”
My breath hitched.
I wasn’t surprised to hear that, nor particularly sorry he’d done it. That fucking bitch deserved what she got.
But I wished he hadn’t had to. I wished he’d found someone who cared about him enough to want love from him as well as sex—even if that meant his life took a different path and I never got to meet him.
“I’m so sorry, Akio. You deserved better than that.” The words were paltry, but they were all I had to offer.
He stared at me for a long moment, his eyes inscrutable in the darkness, before he spoke again.
“Don’t trust anyone more than they give you reason to, kitten.”
And with that, he stood and walked back toward the house, his tattoos shifting under the moonlight, his gait oddly stiff.
Chapter 7
“What happened to Tarik?”
I glanced at the back of the unfamiliar fairy’s head as he drove us to the palace. His deep blue, almost purple hair was a stark contrast to the bright green locks of Beatrice’s usual driver.
“He… left.” Fen grimaced.
His tone made me curious. “What does that mean?”
“Well, he quit. And we’re pretty sure he’s the one who told the Representatives that you’re sheltering Blighted families in your grandmother’s house.”
My eyebrows shot up. “What? But he’s the one who went to pick them up!”
“Yeah. Because you told him to. And his job was to serve Beatrice—and you. But he wasn’t exactly happy about bringing the Blighted into the Capital. After you disappeared, so did he.”
Leaning back against the seat, I stared out at the large estates we drove past. “Well, shit.”
Sometimes I forgot the enormity of what faced us. There were the looming, obvious threats—Rain’s magic pull, mass violence against the Blighted. But then there were the smaller, more pervasive and mundane obstacles. Like the fact that even a genuinely nice guy like the green-haired fairy, Tarik, held such a deep-rooted prejudice against the Blighted that he couldn’t abide by my decision to invite them into my grandmother’s home.
“But Elren is great!” Fenris tapped the back of the driver’s seat enthusiastically, and fairy magic flooded the car, making joy bubble up within me. “He helped us search for you. Called in some connections.”
I was tempted to ask if Elren knew about the Resistance and had taken a blood oath too, but zipped my mouth shut. My guess was that the fairy had been kept on a need-to-know basis, only told that I was missing, but not given more details about why. Although the Resistance could use more magical support, it was harder to convince the Gifted, or even the Touched, to turn against a government that had favored them for so long.
“It was my pleasure, sir. I’m glad you’re found, Miss Crow
.” The fairy glanced at me through the rearview mirror, his eyes the same deep blue as his hair. I smiled at him and dipped my head, not missing the fact that he called me “Crow” instead of “Lockwood.” He must’ve seen the propaganda Noble was spreading. Maybe he was more sympathetic to our cause than I’d thought.
Before I had time to consider that further, we pulled to a stop outside the palace. Guards lined the steps like they had in the days after Beatrice was killed. Apparently, security was still elevated.
We stepped out of the large SUV and Elren pulled away. All of my four had insisted on coming to the palace with me this morning to confront Rain; Corin had looked ready to fight anyone who tried to make him stay behind. I hadn’t argued. There was strength in numbers, and after ten days apart, I needed them near me.
It felt a little strange to try to recruit help from the Representatives at the same time we were attempting to undermine them. But Jae was right. We needed more magical firepower to stop Rain. Then we’d deal with the rest of the Gifted government.
The guards watched us walk quickly up the steps, but no one moved to stop us. I wondered how much longer I could skate by on my grandmother’s legacy and my family name. Probably not long, if Noble kept wallpapering the city with images of me as an icon of rebellion. Even if the Resistance didn’t claim me as one of their own, the Representatives couldn’t be happy about the granddaughter of one of their esteemed members being associated with a rebel group.
We walked in a tight cluster, drawing curious stares and some outright glares from palace staff as we headed up to the fifth floor. At least by now I knew my way around well enough not to have to stop and ask a guard for directions.
When we reached the large double doors to the council room, I hesitated. Would Rain be in there? Or was he busy dealing with the fallout from my escape? Finding a new Gifted person to pull magic from?
A hand fell on the small of my back, and I looked over into Jae’s serious face.
“You can do this, Lana. We’re all behind you.”