by Sadie Moss
Sleep still felt a long way off though.
I placed my hand on his above my T-shirt, arresting the casual movement of his fingers on my nipple. If he kept doing that, round three was about to start any minute. And I had too many questions burning in my mind.
“Akio?”
“Yes, kitten?” His hand stilled, but he made no move to pull it out from under my shirt.
“Why did you let me think you were charming me for so long? You knew that’s what I thought, and you knew I hated it. I flat out told you a bunch of times. So why not correct me?”
The incubus’s sigh ruffled my hair. “After what happened with Ria, I swore I’d never let another person control me—through money, sex, magic, or anything else. After you attacked me and your magic flared, I felt something shift inside me. The moment I woke up from the blast, a pull drew me toward you. And it scared the hell out of me.”
He gave my breast one last squeeze then splayed his hand across my stomach, pulling me closer into his body.
“Yeah,” I murmured. “It scared the hell out of me too. My story isn’t nearly as bad as yours, but I’m still plenty familiar with another person having control over me.”
I felt Akio nod behind me. “The more time we spent with you, the stronger the pull toward you became. And the stronger it became, the more I resisted it. I suppose I let you think I was using incubus charm on you as a way to keep you at a distance. I saw how it made you distrust your feelings toward me.”
“It did.”
“And I thought if you didn’t believe your feelings for me were real, perhaps I could convince myself my feelings for you weren’t real either.” His voice was serious, it’s usual mocking tone gone.
“Yeah? How’d that go?” I asked teasingly, trying to lighten his mood.
“Not well. I alternated between hating you and loving you, wanting to force you out of my head one minute and obsessing over you the next.”
“Huh. Sounds familiar.” I chuckled mirthlessly, tracing a finger over the tattoos winding up his left arm. He hadn’t put his shirt on when we’d gotten dressed, and for once, I couldn’t blame his vanity. The scraps of fabric I’d torn off him were no longer wearable.
“I didn’t want this.” Truth resonated in his words, and even though I’d once been of the same mind, it still stung to hear him say it. “To be connected to another person like this. I didn’t know how to handle it.”
My heart ached. Burying my head against his neck, I inhaled the spicy scent of his skin. “I’m sorry, Akio. I don’t want any of you to be bound to me against your will. I hate to even think of that. Maybe when this is all over, we can find a way—”
His hand tightened on my body, the other sliding under my shirt to wrap around me too, making it almost difficult to draw in air. “I said didn’t, kitten. Past tense. I may still struggle with my history, but I can’t imagine my world without you in it now.”
Maybe it had been worry and not his tight grip squeezing my lungs, because I could suddenly breathe again.
My throat tightened around all the things I wanted to say, but I managed to murmur, “Same.”
We sat in silence for a moment. The sun had set, and a large lamp on the desk lit the room with a dim glow.
“Why were you so mad at Jae? I noticed it when he healed me after we escaped Rain’s compound, and again after I healed him and we….” I trailed off, glad he couldn’t see my blush. “When we came downstairs, you looked pissed as hell.”
Akio scoffed, shifting slightly beneath me. “It doesn’t matter.”
“It does to me. I care about all of you, and I don’t want there to be tension between any of us. And that includes the two of you.”
I felt his body tense. “I was… jealous. Not of the two of you together—I understand how the bond works. But I’d spent weeks struggling against my feelings for you and had finally begun to accept them. I just couldn’t believe that repressed motherfucker came to terms with his feelings before I did.”
A belly laugh burst out of me. “So you were just salty because you realized you were less emotionally mature than Jae?”
“I was salty”—he twined his legs around mine, engulfing my entire body with his—“because I saw what could be mine if I dared to reach out and claim it. And still, I wasn’t sure if I could.”
I closed my eyes, sinking into his warmth and strength. “I’m glad you did.”
“Oh, kitten.” The languid, teasing tone in his voice was back. “You have no idea.”
My heart stuttered in my chest as I thought of what had brought him to this room in the first place. I didn’t want to ask my next question, but I had to know.
“Did you… did you mean what you said before, or were you just trying to piss me off? About those Resistance members dying for me? About me being a leader?”
Akio sighed. “Well, as much as I enjoy seeing your claws come out, I—”
He was interrupted as the door flew open. Fen burst into the room, followed closely by Corin and Jae.
“Are you all right, killer?” The wolf shifter rounded the couch, dropping to his knees beside Akio and me, his warm brown eyes wide.
“Relax, Fenris. She’s fine. Doesn’t she look like it?” Akio drawled.
“I dunno. She’s been stuck up here with your cranky ass for the last few hours. That’d be hell on anybody.”
Akio muttered a foreign word under his breath, and I made a mental note to get him to teach me some Japanese curse words later.
“We held him off as long as we could. He’s been pacing the kitchen for the last thirty minutes.” Corin laughed, coming around the couch after Fen. He plopped down onto the plush cushions, reaching down to skate his fingers over the curve of my shoulder. “Are you all right?” he asked softly, his bright blue eyes shining with concern when I tilted my head to look up at him.
I nodded, pulling his fingers to my lips to kiss them softly. Though I was emotionally wrecked by the events of the day, this time alone with my men fortified me. The Resistance had suffered a devastating loss, but we wouldn’t—we couldn’t—let it stop us from fighting.
“So, what’ve you two been up to?” Fen asked, his playful smirk telling me he knew the answer to that already.
Rather than give him the satisfaction of seeing me blush furiously, or at the very least, to distract him from the redness of my face, I answered, “Akio was just trying to convince me I’m a natural-born leader.”
“Oh.” The wolf shifter pursed his full lips, scratching at the scruff on his cheek. “Well, you are.”
“Ugh. Not you too.” I groaned, sitting up straighter as Jae sank into a chair across from us. His foot reached out to tap mine, our bodies seeking even that small contact.
“If you’re putting it to a vote, then me three,” Corin chimed in.
I shot a pleading glance at Jae, but he just lifted one corner of his mouth, his green eyes dancing. “Sorry, Lana. Me four.”
I scrunched up my face, the glow of pleasure at their faith in me warring with a hefty dose of disbelief. “You all have to say that. You’re bonded to me.”
“It’s not just us, killer.” Fen shifted to sit against the couch next to us, taking one of my hands so he could lace our fingers together. “We have the perfect excuse to follow you anywhere, but we’re not the only ones who want to.”
“He’s not wrong.” Jae leaned forward, resting his forearms on his knees like he always did when discussing something important. “I know you think Noble created your persona of ‘The Crow’ out of nothing. But the truth is, he did very little. You’d made yourself a legend through your actions without his help. People were already talking about you.”
“But they didn’t even know me!” I sat forward, mirroring Jae’s pose unconsciously. “And I never met any of those Resistance members who died today. I never told them to do that. How would they have—”
“That’s where you’re getting confused, kitten.” Akio’s voice was teasing, but his words w
ere serious. “Some people lead by telling others what to do, yes. But some lead simply by demonstrating a better way to live.” He pulled me back into his embrace, strumming his strong fingers over my ribs. When he continued, he spoke softly into my hair. “I did mean it when I said those Resistance members died for you today. But not because you ordered them to. You didn’t make them do anything. You simply fought for your beliefs so strongly that you inspired them to do the same.”
His words and touch were a balm, calming the churning sea of emotion inside me.
And I thought maybe I finally understood.
It was terrifying to think of being responsible for other people’s lives. The weight of that burden was almost too much to consider. But if I looked at it from another perspective, I could acknowledge the truth I hadn’t been able to see before.
When it came down to it, I was willing to die fighting for a cause I believed in. Hell, I’d have some strong words for anybody who tried to take that right away from me. And those Resistance members today, our new recruits, Noble, even my four—they all had the same right I did.
The right to live and die for their beliefs.
So while I could acknowledge my part in becoming a symbol of the Resistance, perhaps inspiring others to join the fight, it wasn’t fair to them for me to take responsibility for their deaths. Those who died today had each stood on the palace steps with clear eyes and hearts. They had made their own choices.
Every person who joined the Resistance made a choice.
My chest swelled with gratitude as I realized the strength and bravery of the people I had fallen in with.
I was proud of them.
It was an honor to be one of them.
And if it gave them hope in the face of terrifying darkness, I would lead them.
Chapter 20
“These are all the transport spells I could find, Miss Crow!”
William loped down the hallway toward me, his shaggy red-brown hair wild. Several glass tubes were clutched haphazardly between his small hands, and I took them from him quickly before he dropped them all.
“Thanks, Will.” I slipped the transport spells in my pocket then ruffled his hair.
“You’re welcome.” He beamed up at me. “Are they going to help you fight Rain?”
Gods, I hope so.
“Yeah. They’ll be a big help.”
“Good.” His face brightened even further, his thin chest puffing out with pride at having contributed to the fight.
My heart squeezed uncomfortably. I hoped like hell he’d still have that joyful, innocent look on his face tomorrow.
“We’ve got everything we need gathered,” Retta said, coming up behind William and resting her hands on his shoulders, pulling him close to her.
Tears welled behind her thick glasses, and her hands shook slightly. Answering tears stung my eyes, begging to escape, but I had made myself a promise—no more crying until this shit was over. I wouldn’t give Rain the fucking satisfaction.
Retta, Darcy, and several of the other Blighted men and women who were living here had offered to come fight with us. And while my stomach tightened with worry at the thought, I hadn’t tried to talk them out of it. Instead, I’d thanked them gravely and pulled the housekeeper and cook into bone-crushing hugs.
The Blighted who were too infirm to fight would stay behind to watch the kids in the safety of Beatrice’s warded house. But although Darcy and Retta were able-bodied, that didn’t mean they were fighters. The one reassuring thought I clung to was that enough Gifted and Touched had joined our side that Blighted Resistance members would have solid magical backup.
Only a small group of us would be attempting to break into Rain’s mountain stronghold. The rest would distract him by launching an attack on the People’s Palace.
The palace was still heavily fortified with guards, but their numbers were lowered. After Rain’s coup, some had defected and others had been arrested or killed. Even though the Blighted lacked magic, they would outnumber the guards three or four to one. That should even the odds, or even tip them in our favor.
Retta and I shared a look over her son’s head, and I turned away to let her say her goodbyes. He was too young to fully comprehend what was going on, but he knew enough to worry for his mother. I could hear her whispering false reassurances as I walked away.
I rounded the corner into the living room. The TV was off. Ivy kneeled on the couch, resting her elbows on the back of it and taking in the activity around her with wide eyes. A glowing blue portal shimmered on the far wall between two large paintings, courtesy of Jae. My four stood in front of it, talking with the group of Blighted who would accompany us to the Resistance headquarters. From there, we’d split up to undertake our separate missions.
Fen looked up as I approached, reaching out for me. He raised my hand to his lips and nipped at my knuckles. “Ready?”
“Yeah. Will found a few extra transport spells my grandmother had stashed around the house. I swear, these kids know this place better than I ever will.”
He chuckled. “I would’ve loved this house when I was little.”
Retta bustled around the corner, using her sleeve to dab at her eyes. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I’m ready.”
She joined our group, catching Darcy’s hand and squeezing it tightly. The kindly, round-faced woman looked grim. I tried to imagine either of them wielding weapons as they stormed the palace, but my brain couldn’t conjure up the image.
I tugged Fen aside and gestured our newest recruits through the portal ahead of us. The group of Blighted all walked through, some hesitating slightly as they forced their unwilling bodies to step into the glowing blue light. It was probably the first time they’d been through a portal.
When it was just me and my four left standing by the wall, I turned to them. My gaze moved across their faces, each so different and yet each so strikingly handsome it made my heart ache.
I suddenly didn’t know what to say. What were the right words for a moment like this?
“Guys, I….”
My voice faltered, and I swallowed. Don’t cry, godsdamn it.
“We know, Lana. Us too.”
Corin smiled, though worry darkened his eyes. He cupped my cheeks and kissed me once, softly, on the lips. I wanted more, so much more, but I knew why he didn’t give it to me.
His kiss was a promise. That this wasn’t over.
Fen pulled on the hand he was still holding, and I turned toward him. He wrapped his arms around me tightly, and I let myself feel small and safe in his embrace for a moment.
“We got this, killer,” he murmured.
A hand cradled the back of my neck, and as Fen released me, Jae spun me around and crashed his lips into mine. I was so surprised I almost lost my balance, and he tightened his grip on me, keeping me upright as he claimed my mouth in a deep, wet kiss.
Akio chuckled, and Fenris wolf-whistled.
When our lips finally broke apart, I was gasping and a little dazed.
Jae smiled at me, his green eyes warm and open. “Just making up for lost time.”
I laughed, biting my swollen bottom lip. Then I turned slowly to face Akio. His dark eyes blazed as he stared down at me, and I could feel every moment of our time together yesterday like it was written on my body.
“Thank you for being here with me,” I whispered, using those words deliberately. We might be bound together, but I wanted him to have a choice. Always. And I hoped he would always choose me.
Akio dragged a finger down the side of my face, leaving a trail of fire in its wake. “Kitten, there is no one I would rather fight for… or with.”
And then there was no more putting it off. We all turned toward the portal, my men falling into a tight group around me. Akio and Corin stepped forward and—
“Wait!”
Ivy’s voice made me jump. I’d forgotten she was still here, watching our entire exchange. Gods, we really were more entertaining than a TV show.
I sho
t a glance over my shoulder as she rose from the couch and trotted toward us. “What is it, Ivy?”
“I’m coming with you.”
My brow furrowed. “What?”
“I’m coming. To help.” Her brown eyes were wide and earnest. “You need extra help, don’t you?”
“Well, yeah, but….” I trailed off. Telling her “I thought you just liked to watch” did not seem appropriate in this moment.
“I can do that!” Ivy smoothed down her short, lacy flapper dress. “I can’t exactly fight like you all, but I can still be useful. I promise!”
“No one doubts that.” I hesitated. “But are you sure you want to? It’s… human stuff. It doesn’t have to be your concern.”
A scowl crossed her heart-shaped face. “I don’t want to be around forever in the kind of world Rain wants to create.”
I shivered involuntarily. Yeah, I wouldn’t either.
“Right. Of course you can come with us, Ivy. Thank you.”
She clapped her delicate hands together, prancing over to the portal. Watching her, I would’ve thought we were heading to the party of the century instead of a battle against an insane, power-hungry super-mage.
We entered the portal after her, walking quickly through the tunnels and guardroom and entering the Resistance headquarters. The place was buzzing with energy. People hustled through, carrying weapons or other equipment. Wide eyes watched us as we passed, and I tried to look strong and confident instead of slightly nauseated and scared shitless.
When we entered the large common room of the old factory, Corin stiffened.
“Asprix!”
He broke away from our group, striding toward the little alcove off to one side of the room where the old reader, Asprix, could usually be found.
But not today.
Today, he was standing in the common area, clutching a long staff as a younger Resistance member strapped pieces of what looked like makeshift leather armor to him.