by Ava Manello
They use the toy gun in their hands to push up the brim of the hats, revealing cheeky grins and sparkling eyes. The guns are tucked into the back of the waistbands and their thumbs hook into the belt loops as they strut around the stage, postulating and gesturing at each other.
At the chorus ‘Bad Company’ they start to flip across the stage in opposite directions. It’s absolutely awesome to watch, even with their clothes on. This routine is one where they only take their shirts off. It’s more about their agility on the stage. The sex comes from the moves. The thrusts. The grinds. The twists. The lights showcasing their highly toned, very well oiled, backs and chests. You can see the power in these naked torsos. Even watching from the wings I can feel it.
At one point Guido slides across the stage on his knees. Now I get why they wear those very unsexy black kneepads.
As the song slows towards the end they face off against each other, assuming the position of a stand off. There’s a flash of light at the final ‘Until the Day I die’ and Guido remains standing – the victor, Jonny lying crumpled on the floor. The lights fade out.
I prefer watching the rehearsals to the live shows. I still get to experience the lighting, the loud music and the sexy atmosphere. I just get to appreciate it without the heckling and cat calling. I’m seriously ashamed to be female when it comes to some of the fans.
***
Rehearsal finished early enough that I’ve got time to take a stroll down the beachfront before we grab an early dinner. It’s a long time since I came to Bridlington. It’s not the classiest of places, just one step up really from Blackpool in terms of the people who tend to come here; but I have good childhood memories of visiting here.
I managed to sneak out while everyone was getting changed. The contrast between the quiet beachfront and the bustle backstage at the theater is massive. There seems to be an army of unpaid volunteers at each of the theaters we attend. The dressers are the most fun, over the years they’ve seen it all and heard it all and as shy as I am, I feel most comfortable around them.
One of them today expressed surprise that the guys were so normal, and had very few demands. It’s only when someone calls it to attention that I realize they’re right. A lot of touring groups demand all sorts of perks and privileges. Not my boys. I stop myself, less than a week on the road with them and I’m already calling them my boys. I guess I do feel protective of them.
She was telling me about the last group of strippers they’d had here. They’d demanded waist height mirrors so they could check out how their cocks looked, stuffed into their tiny briefs. She’d laughed hysterically when she told me how she’d walked in on them one day to discover their briefs weren’t the only things that were tiny.
“And they use elastic bands to make their thingies look bigger.” She’d shrieked with laughter. I’m way too innocent, as it took a few moments and several hand gestures for me to comprehend what she was saying. Ouch. That’s got to hurt.
I walk back towards the theater, past a row of shops selling cheap, tacky souvenirs and spot the racks of loom bands on display. Everywhere I turn these days there’s a rack of loom bands. Suddenly, my mind connects loom bands and elastic bands and I realize I’ll never be able to walk past such a display again without blushing.
Chapter Fifteen
Sally
There’s a meet and greet after the show tonight in the lobby of the theater. It’s the first one I’m attending, although I believe they do them as often as they can. It’s an opportunity to sell extra merchandise after all.
I know from the research I’ve done that some male strippers sell posters, and if you’ve purchased a poster then you can get on stage and meet them. Yep, they’re not selling posters; they’re effectively selling gropes! Eric doesn’t operate that way. He’s trying to keep the show hot, yet classy, to objectify the guys as little as possible, which isn’t easy in this industry. Eric used to be a stripper in a past life as he calls it. His ideal is to take the good parts of that and use them for the Naked Night’s and to steer clear of the more negative aspects he experienced.
The lobby is pulsating with bodies when I arrive and I’m quickly elbowed and shoved to the sidelines as a hen party arrives. I cringe inwardly at the sight. I’m not a snob, but hen parties are one of my pet hates. Normally sane women acting like sex-starved heathens for a night, getting high on alcohol.
“Go on Trudy, you know you wanna play with the boys.” One of the women is pushed forward; it’s the hen. She’s wearing a nun’s outfit with fake boobs, a sash and a tiara. God I want to throw up at the sight of it. The habit is so short her arse is practically on display.
“Show em your boobs Trudy,” catcalls another of the hen party.
I catch Alex’s expression and smile. I don’t think anyone else saw it, it was so brief after all, but the look of disdain that just crossed his face was a picture. Of course Guido looks like all his Christmases have come at once. That man is such a whore.
“If you don’t want em I’ll have em love. I always said God made me chunky for a reason, because if I was thin I’d be a bad ass stripper!” She’s obviously called Donna as I overhear her more sober friend chastise her.
“Ladies, ladies…” soothes Eric. “Calm down; there’s plenty of time for you all to get to say hello.” A small cheer goes up from the assembled rabble. Eric tries to get them to form some sort of line, rather unsuccessfully in my opinion, but it’s a little more organized than it was before.
He’s not daft as the merchandise table stands between the crowd and the Naked Night’s who are lined up at the bottom of the room. I notice Alex and Tiny exchange a look; I recognize their code by now, they’re checking out the exits just in case they get mobbed.
The girls on the table are exchanging money for calendars and photographs quicker than I can keep track. The steady stream of girls passes down the line of Naked Night’s, some getting photos signed, others asking for pictures.
I’m shocked when one girl approaches Guido and pulls down her dress to expose her breast and nipple. “Can you sign my boob for me Guido.” She simpers. “I bloody love you!” Guido smirks and takes the pen from her hand.
“Who do I sign it to?” He queries.
“I’m Lisa.” She licks her lips, there’s nothing erotic about the way she does it though. It’s sleazy. “I’ve got somewhere else you can sign if you like love, but I can’t show it out here.” She sniggers. A silent exchange takes place between them. Well that’s Guido sorted for the next five minutes after the show. I wonder how Lisa will react when she realizes he’s all talk and no substance, if she’ll be quite as vocal as plastic Barbie the other night.
Someone in the queue behind her makes a comment I can’t hear and Lisa suddenly turns on them. “Why? ‘Cause I’m fucking awesome love, and let’s face it, who wouldn’t want to be in my knickers.” She boldly states. Well, I wouldn’t for one. One of her friends tries to hurry her up, eager to get her own autograph I suspect.
“Feck off Danni; this one’s mine.” She leers at Guido who is grinning even more widely now. “Unless you fancy a threesome love?” Guido’s face lights up even more. Great, now we’ll have two disgruntled fans to deal with.
“How about a foursome?” another girl screams.
“What’s your name love?” Guido is still grinning.
“I’m Amy. And trust me lover, when I touch you, you’ll tremble all over.” She promises.
If I listen to anymore of this I’ll be breaking out into laughter. My initial disgust has been replaced by a hysterical need to laugh. These women are debasing themselves. I know some alcohol is involved, but still. Do they speak like this normally? Would they talk to their mothers with those mouths?
I can’t get over how over exaggerated the whole thing feels and looks. It’s like a hen party on crack. Oh hang on; this IS a hen party! I look for a way out. If I stay here much longer I’m afraid I’ll catch something from this lot, and it won’t be a sense of decorum th
at’s for sure.
Spotting a fire exit I sneak outside, inhaling a breath of clean, fresh sea air. That’s better. I walk over to the sea wall, sinking down slowly. Right now I can’t decide if I’m loving this job or not. I feel cheap and dirty reporting anything that encourages this sort of behavior. How do I report on it without my personal distaste showing through the whole article? I’ve been taught to write from a distance, objectively. I’m finding it very hard to be objective here.
There’s a thud as the fire exit door opens and closes. I look up to see Alex walking towards me. Damn. He’s one of the reasons I’m finding it so hard to remain objective.
Chapter Sixteen
Sally
Last night I’d been so conscious of how close Alex was sitting next to me on the wall. It must have shown as he asked me what was wrong. I used the excuse of being worried about my friend. Alex pushed for more so I told him about the article I’d been asked to write and how I’d come across Gary on the dating site.
Alex had a funny look on his face when I mentioned the dating site. I can only assume he was considering checking it out as I know it helps men connect with other men as well as women.
Alex and I threw around some ideas, but what it all boiled down to was that if I was a true friend I had to say something. I couldn’t keep quiet. As much as speaking up now would hurt Ashley, not speaking up would hurt more in the long run.
“Look at it this way.” Alex offered. “If it was you, would you want to know?” He’s right. As bad as finding out I’d been betrayed would be, not being told it was happening by a friend in the know would piss me off.
I’m still mulling this over as we board the minibus for the journey to the next theater.
The driver, Dan, told me we’ll be on the road for a good hour and a half, more depending on traffic so I pull out my Kindle to read the latest Lili St Germain. I love her Seven Sons series, and the latest installment has just come out. I can lose myself in murder and revenge and not worry about my own problems for a while.
I’m totally engrossed in a scene where Sammi is in a dungeon being tortured yet again by Dornan when I feel something warm and heavy on my foot. I’m confused. I lower my Kindle to the empty seat at the side of me before looking down.
What I see causes the breath to leave my body. I want to scream. I REALLY want to scream but my mouth is moving and nothing but quiet whimpers are coming out.
I’m frozen to my seat so I can’t even gesture for anyone to come and help me.
Jonny must have heard me whimpering as he gets out of his seat and comes to investigate.
“You okay Sally?” the last part of my name is cut off as he lets out a piercing scream. I’m amazed Dan didn’t crash the minibus! He just looks at us all in the rear view mirror before asking if everyone’s okay. I guess he’s had worse happen to him than this when he’s driving.
Jonny’s scream has now alerted the others that something’s wrong and there’s a sudden rush of bodies at the side of me.
“What the fuck!” Tiny shouts. I’m not sure if I’ve heard him swear before, he’s normally so well mannered around me.
I still can’t get the words out, but my hands are now free and I point down at my foot where the terror lies.
Jonny is still screeching like a girl, quite funny considering I’m the girl and I can’t actually get any noise from my strangled throat.
“Oh shit, I’m so sorry.” Jackal says, he’s holding an empty black canvas holdall in his hand and looking very pale.
I look from the holdall to the floor, and back to the holdall. He’s got to be joking me.
There on the floor, laid over my foot is a snake. Despite what I imagined, the body where it lies on my foot is warm. I’d expected it to be a cold, scaly creature and always shied away from them. That’s right. I’m terrified of snakes.
“Where the bloody hell has that come from and what’s it doing here?” Eric sounds furious, his anger solely directed at Jackal.
“It’s a Royal Python, I got it off a man in a pub last night.” Eric’s glare is causing the normally calm Jackal to stumble with his words.
“I didn’t ask what it was.” Eric shouts. “What’s it doing here?”
“I thought I could use it in the act.” Jackal offers, he sounds like a chastised child; his head low to his body as he answers.
“How the fuck did you think we’d work a snake into the act?” Eric mutters. “You do know how much hassle the theaters would give us, not to mention the bloody councils. You have to have a separate dressing room and attendant for a fucking dog in a show, god knows what hoops we’d have to go through with a fucking snake you idiot!” Eric is now going slightly red in the face. Jackal meanwhile is whiter than ever. Jonny is as far back in the bus as he can get from both the snake and me. If I weren’t so scared this would be funny.
“Excuse me?” my voice is still barely a whisper as I point at the snake still lying over my foot. “Help?”
“Here give me that bag.” Tiny reaches for it, looking inside, then turns to Jackal, perplexed. “Where’s the bedding?”
“What?” Jackal hasn’t a clue what Tiny is talking about, from the look of the faces around us, no one else has either.
“You’ve got a Royal Python and you didn’t think to ask how to look after it?” Tiny looks disgusted. “Pass me some newspapers, now!” he ends on a shout, as Jackal obviously didn’t move quickly enough for him.
“Listen Sally, it’s going to be okay. My uncle used to have one of these. Let me just sort this bag out and I’ll lift it off you. I know it doesn’t help but right now she’s probably more scared of you than you are of her.” He reassures. Yeah. Right. I highly doubt it.
“They like the dark, and the warmth.” He continues. “She probably got out of the bag because this idiot didn’t add any bedding and followed the warmth of the exhaust along the bus. We just need to get some bedding in the bag for her and I’ll put her back.” He turns to Alex who’s standing just behind him. “Can you check on the internet and see if there are any reptile shops in Grimsby, I think there is one there from memory. We need to find somewhere to take her.”
Jackal starts to protest, muttering about how much money he paid for the snake last night but Tiny interrupts him.
“Don’t be so bloody stupid Jackal. I thought you were afraid of snakes as well as this idiot here.” He gestures to Jonny who’s still hiding. “This poor thing doesn’t need to be with someone who doesn’t have a clue how to take care of it. We’re not a bloody circus act!” His tone is full of disgust.
By this point Eric and Guido have filled the bag with shredded newspaper. Tiny reaches over carefully, talking to me the whole time.
“Right Sally, I’m going to gently lift her away from you. I’m going to move slowly so I don’t startle her, okay?” I nod my head. As he lifts the snake I start to shiver. I’d only seen a part of her body and her head, but what he reveals makes me feel almost sick. She’s almost four foot in length. He raises her gently, almost reverently, and places her in the bag. Once he’s secured the bag he passes it back to Jackal. “Go sit down and make sure that bag stays closed.” Tiny instructs. Jackal takes the bag, almost reluctantly and moves towards the back of the minibus. As soon as he’s sat down Jonny shoots to the seat in front of mine. He’s still looking quite grey.
Alex and Tiny confer for a few moments before Alex moves to the front of the bus to talk to Dan, the driver.
“It’s okay Sally, we’re going to make a quick detour and drop her off at the reptile store in Grimsby.” He reassures me as he takes the seat at the side of me, careful to move my Kindle out of the way before he sits down. “Are you okay?” I almost cry at the concern in his voice. I love this guy; he’s such a gentle giant.
“I’ll be fine.” My voice is slowly returning, but the shaking in my hands is still there. Tiny sees me looking at my hands and takes one in his.
“Of course you’ll be fine. You’re stronger than you thi
nk lovely girl.” He smiles at me. I love his smile. He sits beside me the rest of the way to the shop. He’s the one who takes the snake into the reptile store.
There’s a huge sigh of relief from everyone on the minibus when he returns empty handed.
“Hope you got my money back.” Jackal mutters. He’s soon silenced by the look Tiny gives him in return.
“Jackal, sit down and shut up before I punch your bloody lights out for what you did to Sally.” Tiny roars. Jackal’s just about to protest when he sees the look on Tiny’s face. He sits down and shuts up.
The minibus pulls up outside yet another Travelodge, and I give a silent cheer. I can’t wait to get in the shower and scrub the feeling of snake off me. It doesn’t matter that she’s no longer on the bus, it’s like I can still feel the ghost of her on me. I’m almost rude in the way I snatch the key from the receptionist and rush to the room.