by Sarah Morgan
‘Anna, darling, one of us definitely needs therapy, but I don’t think it’s me.’
‘Are you telling me that you can look him in the eye and not think of sex?’
‘Stop talking about sex!’ The words came out louder than she’d intended and Liv slammed a hand over her mouth and giggled in disbelief. ‘For crying out loud, Anna, what is the matter with you? Go to lunch, or go and have a cold shower or—something.’
‘“Or something” sounds good but unfortunately I’ll have to settle for lunch.’ Anna handed her the keys to the drug cupboard. ‘You’re in charge. Hire and fire at will. Try not to get up to anything while I’m gone.’ She walked briskly out of the room and Liv pinned the keys in her pocket with hands that weren’t quite steady.
All this talk of sex was starting to unsettle her.
Her eyes slid to the article in the bin.
Did he know what to do with his hands? Well, of course he did. He was a good-looking, confident, experienced man. He didn’t fumble in Resus and she didn’t for a moment expect him to fumble in the bedroom. He just wasn’t that type of guy.
She gave a sigh of exasperation. Pretending that she hadn’t noticed him or that he wasn’t attractive was just silly. Who was she kidding? Everyone had noticed him and with good reason.
Wealthy, good-looking doctors weren’t exactly a common species. Most of the doctors she worked with were pale-skinned and out of shape, like plants that had been deprived of sunlight. Stefano’s bronzed skin and Mediterranean good looks made him stand out like a bold sunflower in a field of withered dandelions.
But what really stayed in her mind was his skill as a doctor. He was breathtakingly skilled and ruthless in his demands for perfection, and yet at the same time he’d shown himself capable of displaying a surprising degree of compassion when it was required. He was gorgeous.
Seriously worried by her own thoughts, she gave herself a sharp talking to. Enough! Even thinking of him in that way was embarrassing. He was smooth, sophisticated and stunning whereas she was—she was…
Delusional, Liv thought, exasperated with herself. Delusional, for thinking that a man like him might be interested in someone like her.
Ordinary, wasn’t that what Jack had called her?
Ordinary. Dependable.
She was a good nurse, a loving mother and a caring friend. But she wasn’t sexy or glamorous.
And she wasn’t the sort of woman that a man like Stefano Lucarelli would ever notice.
She needed to stop thinking about sex and get on with her life.
* * *
‘Down the wing, Max, down the wing!’
Two days later Liv stood on edge of the school field with a row of parents. Several of the men had obviously taken the afternoon off from work to cheer the children on in their football match.
And it was cold. Really cold. Liv had wrapped a scarf around her neck but her breath clouded the freezing air and her fingers were numb.
‘Hi, Liv. You’ve met my husband, Simon, haven’t you?’ The mother of a boy in Max’s class was standing huddled next to a stocky, cheerful-looking man whose polished shoes looked out of place on the school playing field. A toddler slept in a pushchair next to her and every now and then she jiggled the handle to keep him asleep. Even under the large winter coat, it was obvious that she was very pregnant.
‘Hi, Simon.’ Liv smiled. ‘How are you, Claire? When’s the baby due?’
‘Christmas Day.’ Claire cast a teasing glance towards her husband. ‘You’ll be cooking the turkey, sunshine. Better start practising.’
‘Ah—I had something to tell you about that.’ Simon was concentrating hard on the game, his eyes following the ball. ‘I’ve invited my mother to stay at Christmas. It seemed like a good idea. Go on, James!’
‘You’ve invited your mother? Are you kidding?!’ Claire’s mouth dropped open but Simon was urging the team on and didn’t respond. Claire glanced at Liv and rolled her eyes. ‘Men! At the first hint of domestic work, they ring their mothers.’
Simon dragged his eyes from the pitch for half a second. ‘Did you really want to eat my turkey?’
Claire glared at him. ‘So you’re going to be on the sofa watching the TV?’
His eyes were back on the pitch. ‘I do my bit.’
‘Oh, really?’
‘Yes, really! I’m the one that’s been coaching James on his football skills. And just look at him go!’ Simon gazed at his son proudly and Liv felt something uncurl inside her. Something uncomfortable that made her feel slightly sick.
She looked away quickly, reminding herself that she could kick a football with her son, too. But it wasn’t the same, was it? Sometimes she just ached when she saw the way Max stared longingly at the fathers playing with their sons in the park. She’d seen the way he sidled up to the fringes of other male groups, hoping to be included.
The truth was that there was no male influence in his life and he needed one. If she had the money she would have given him football coaching for his Christmas present but that was out of the question.
She was his football coach. She was everything.
Liv turned her attention back to the football match, shocked by the thick sludge of jealousy that surged through her veins.
Hating herself for feeling that way, she gritted her teeth. It wasn’t like her. She was incredibly lucky. She had a son she adored and a job she loved—a good life.
Her eyes slid back towards Claire and Simon who were still sharing a laugh together at the prospect of their crazy, noisy Christmas.
But she didn’t have anyone to share her life with, did she?
Perhaps Anna was right. Perhaps it was time she thought about dating again. But she really didn’t think she had the courage. Perhaps if she used the internet and said SINGLE MOTHER WITH CHILD, at least that would warn people that she wasn’t a supermodel. But she had to put something nice about herself. Can make pizza, kick a football and read bedtime stories? What sort of person would that attract?
The truth was that the mere thought of internet dating, horrified her. What if someone met her in the flesh and thought, Yuck?
Shrinking at the thought, Liv concentrated on the game. She watched as Max sped down the field, a determined look on his face as he chased the ball. His little legs were bruised and muddy and his football shirt was so long it looked as though he wasn’t wearing any shorts, but he was trying so hard that he was almost bursting. He looked so small and vulnerable, Liv thought to herself, wondering whether parenthood affected everyone like this.
When she looked at him she just ached, wanting everything to be all right for him.
Dating when she was single had been hard enough. Dating with a child didn’t bear thinking about. This time it wasn’t just her who would be hurt when it all went wrong.
Conscious of Claire’s husband yelling at his son, she wrapped her arms around herself and tried to subdue the envy. There were men out there prepared to shoulder the responsibility of family. It was just that she hadn’t found one. Maybe she would, one day. Someone who wouldn’t think Yuck when he saw her. Someone who would see past the fact that she wasn’t sexy and value her other qualities.
She watched as Max’s foot made contact with the ball and it flew into the goal. Max yelled triumphantly and all his teammates jumped on him, barely able to contain their excitement.
Liv clapped her hands and Claire and Simon gave a little whoop.
‘Did you see me, Mum?’ He came running over; her little boy with shining eyes and cheeks pink from the cold. ‘Did you see me?’
‘I saw you.’ She bent and hugged him, loving the fact that he still wanted her to do that, despite the presence of his friends. ‘You were brilliant.’
‘I love football, Mum. I love it.’
‘I know you do.’ Liv hugged him tightly, breathing in the smell of little boy and muddy field.
‘Are you going to work now?’
‘Yes. And you’re going home with Anna and Sam.
Be good. I’ll pick you up tomorrow morning.’
‘Great, bye Mum.’ He turned and sped across the field to join his friends who were making their way back towards the school.
Swallowing down the lump in her throat, Liv said a quick goodbye to Claire and Simon and walked towards her car. Having taken a few hours off in the middle of the day, she was due back at the hospital. No time to mope or feel sorry for herself. The reality of her life. Work. If she didn’t work, there was no money.
The moment she walked through the doors, Stefano Lucarelli strode up to her. ‘Where have you been?’ His raw masculinity took her breath away and Liv felt the instantaneous reaction of her body. Her heart pounded, her knees weakened and she felt horribly light-headed. To make matters worse, the interview with the actress was fresh in her mind and suddenly she had a disturbingly vivid image of him sliding those strong, confident hands over the pliant shivering body of a sickeningly slender woman.
Flustered, she unwrapped the scarf from around her neck. ‘I had a few hours off this afternoon.’
‘In the middle of your shift?’ He stood in front of her, legs spread in a confrontational stance, blocking her path. For a moment she couldn’t speak. Sexual awareness burned hot and dangerous and every thought was blown from her head except one. He’d noticed that she hadn’t been working. For a reason that she didn’t want to examine, she felt like singing and dancing, but somehow she managed to keep her feet still.
‘You were looking for me?’
Maybe the feelings weren’t all on her side.
‘Sì, I was looking for you. We had a very distressed child with a fractured tibia,’ he growled. ‘I needed you.’
A distressed child.
Liv returned to reality with such a bump that every part of her felt bruised even though she hadn’t moved a muscle. Disappointment swamped her like a flutter of freezing snow. He’d needed her. At work. Of course, at work. ‘There are other nurses.’
‘I was given other nurses. And they were slow. I had to ask for the instruments I needed,’ he said scathingly, ‘and they had no idea how to comfort the child. Where were you?’
Liv didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
She should be grateful to him, she told herself. It was just the wake-up call she needed. She wasn’t the sort of woman a man turned to when he needed hot sex, she was the sort of woman a man turned to when he needed something done. ‘I’m working a split shift, today. I went to watch my son play football.’
The thunderous expression on his face vanished and his mouth curved into an unexpected smile. ‘He plays football? Did he score?’
Transfixed by that smile and the sudden change in him, Liv blinked. ‘Y-yes, actually,’ she stammered finally. ‘He did. He was thrilled.’ And he wanted to be picked for the first team but she had no idea how to coach him properly.
His eyes lingered on her face for a long, unsettling moment. ‘So why are you looking so worried?’
‘Worried?’ She was so astonished that he’d noticed that the word came out like a squeak and she almost laughed at herself. Talk about unsophisticated. Anna would have thought of something flirtatious and clever to say, but she couldn’t even hold a conversation with the man without her tongue tying itself into a knot. ‘I’m not worried.’
‘But something is wrong.’ His eyes didn’t shift from her face. ‘Tell me.’
She stared up into the dark glitter of his eyes and felt her stomach flip. Oh boy. My son needs a father, I need a makeover, I’m broke and it’s Christmas in three weeks.
Liv gave a laugh, trying to imagine his face if she spilled out her problems. ‘Nothing is wrong. I’d better go.’ Before her thoughts and her words became mixed up. ‘I’ll be back in the department in a minute, Mr Lucarelli.’
And by then she would have pulled herself together.
She needed to stop dreaming, before she embarrassed herself.
What was the matter with her? Normally, she was realistic and practical. Even if she were single with no responsibilities, she wouldn’t have allowed herself to be tempted by this man.
His life was so far removed from hers, it was laughable.
She could just imagine his reaction if she were to invite him to the ball. His polite refusal would no doubt become her second most embarrassing moment ever, after being overheard discussing sex with Anna.
‘I’ll see you in a minute, Mr Lucarelli.’ She lifted the bag that had slipped off her shoulder and his eyes narrowed.
‘Stefano,’ he purred in a disturbingly male voice. ‘My name is Stefano. Why does everyone keep calling me Mr Lucarelli? The emergency department is a very informal place to work.’
‘Well, you’re extremely senior and you’re also relatively new so I suppose people are wary about being too familiar, and some people find you—’ She broke off and backed towards the staffroom. ‘I really need to change.’
‘Wait.’ His fingers closed over her arm. ‘You didn’t finish your sentence. Some people find me…?’
She hesitated. ‘Intimidating. Just a little.’
‘Intimidating? Me?’ His dark eyes were lazily amused. ‘I’m a pussycat.’
‘Technically, so is a tiger,’ Liv said dryly and he laughed.
‘Providing people do their jobs correctly, I promise to keep my claws sheathed.’ His gaze lingered on her face. ‘You say “some people”. Not you?’
Did he know that he was still holding her arm? ‘I like the fact you have high standards. It means you’re one less thing I have to worry about when I’m in Resus. I’m a control freak.’
He laughed. ‘Likewise.’
‘Two control freaks working in the same room could be a disaster.’
His eyes narrowed thoughtfully. ‘Not if they were working towards the same objective. That would make them a powerful team, I think.’ He sounded impossibly Italian and she sucked in a breath and eased her arm away from his grip.
‘I’d better get changed or they’ll be wondering where I am.’
Liv took refuge in the staffroom, slung her bag in the locker, quickly changed into her uniform and stared at herself in the mirror.
Her heart was thumping and her arm was tingling where he’d touched her.
Take a look at yourself, she told herself, standing square to the mirror. Remember who you are. Twenty-eight-year-old single mother. Nothing special. Now remember who he is. Extremely good-looking rich guy with a taste for skinny actresses.
Get a grip, Liv.
CHAPTER FOUR
IT WAS past ten o’clock before Stefano was finally able to leave the emergency department.
It had been a chaotic evening, with two serious car accidents in quick succession placing enormous demands on the already overstretched staff.
Fortunately for him, Liv had been working in Resus with him and things had run amazingly smoothly.
As he walked across the car park, the ground sparkled with frost and the sky was clear enough to warn him that it was going to be another cold night. Mentally he braced himself for a spate of accidents in the morning as drivers hit black ice.
From across the car park came the splutter and cough of an engine that didn’t want to start and he saw Liv sitting in a small car, her scarf wrapped tightly around her neck, her breath forming clouds in the cold air.
Stefano tensed, instinctively suspicious.
On at least two occasions in the past, women had faked car problems in order to wangle a lift home with him.
He took a closer look at the car and decided that this particular bout of engine trouble couldn’t possibly be anything but genuine. The car was ancient and there was a significant amount of rust at the base of the door. He wasn’t surprised that it wouldn’t start. What surprised him was that she’d managed to drive it to the hospital in the first place.
Stefano strode across to her and pulled open the door, amazed that it didn’t come off in his hand. ‘Problems?’ He waited for her to give a sigh of relief and ask him for a lift, but inst
ead she just shook her head.
‘I’m fine,’ she said firmly. ‘But thanks for asking. Have a good evening, Mr Lucarelli. See you tomorrow.’
Fine? See you tomorrow? Astounded by her reaction, Stefano rested an arm on the top of the driver’s door and leaned down so that he could talk to her properly. ‘That engine doesn’t sound fine to me.’
He should walk away. She was encouraging him to walk away.
So why didn’t he do just that?
‘It’s a little temperamental, that’s all. It likes to keep me guessing.’ With a determined look on her face, she turned the key in the ignition again. The car gave a feeble cough and then there was nothing.
‘Liv, there’s temperamental and there’s dead. Your engine is dead.’
‘It can’t be.’ She slumped in her seat, a desperate look in her eyes. ‘It just hates cold weather, that’s all. If I leave it for a moment, it will start.’
Her teeth were chattering, her lips had a bluish tinge and Stefano reached into the car and gently removed the keys from her frozen fingers. ‘This car is not going to start. I’ll give you a lift wherever you want to go.’ He wondered what it was about this particular woman that made him say things he wouldn’t normally dream of saying.
But instead of accepting his offer with relief and gratitude, she shook her head firmly.
‘Absolutely not.’ She gathered her things together. ‘I’ll be fine, Mr Lucarelli, honestly. But thanks for checking on me. I’m sure you have somewhere you need to be. Please don’t hang around on my account.’
She was refusing his offer of help?
Finding himself in completely unknown territory, Stefano didn’t know whether to be amused or exasperated. ‘And what do you plan to do? Sleep here until your next shift?’
‘I’ll take the underground. The train runs very close to my house.’
Her black coat was at least two sizes too big, but he caught a glimpse of slim legs in black tights and black boots. She looked more like a teenager than a mother with a young child. ‘You’re not taking the train.’ The thought of her travelling on the underground horrified him. ‘I’m giving you a lift.’ He leaned across her, swiftly undid her seat belt and gently tugged her out of the car.