by Anne Herries
‘Charlotte, what was this insult and who was it?’ Mama’s tone was sharp. ‘I demand that you tell me at once.’
‘I cannot,’ Charlotte whispered. ‘Please do not be angry. I did not think anything more would happen after...’ She choked back the words and would not continue despite the displeasure in her mother’s eyes.
‘I shall speak to you later, alone,’ Mama said sternly.
The marquis summoned his agent and the rest of the company moved into the dining room. Because Lady Daisy was present, Mama contented herself with giving Charlotte black looks, but after lunch she compelled her to go upstairs to her sitting room.
‘I insist you tell me everything,’ Mama said in her sternest voice.
Charlotte had never defied her before, but this time she remained stubborn and would not confess it all.
‘I told the marquis all I know, Mama.’
‘What was the insult made you?’ Mama asked.
‘It was just... A gentleman tried to...’ Charlotte shook her head. ‘I cannot speak of it, please do not ask me. Jack knew and was angry. He said it would not happen again. I believe he forced the quarrel and there would have been a duel, but...the gentleman in question was taken ill.’
‘Lord Harding!’ Mama frowned. ‘I remember hearing something about a quarrel and a man being taken ill...was that it, Charlotte?’
‘Yes,’ she replied, but would not look at her mother. ‘He was confined to his bed—how could he have done anything to Jack?’
‘No doubt he has men that he employs, men who might do anything he bid them. You should have at least told Ellington the name of this man, Charlotte. Why did you not do so?’
‘Because I wasn’t sure if...’ Charlotte turned away as the tears stung her eyes. ‘If anything has happened to Jack it will be because of me.’
‘That is nonsense. You cannot be held to blame for gentlemen’s quarrels. However, you must tell Ellington the name of this man, for Jack’s sake.’
‘Yes, Mama. I shall do so—’ Charlotte broke off as the door of the sitting room was thrown open and her father walked in. Something in his manner told her he had important news. ‘Papa—what has happened?’
‘We have this minute had word of Delsey,’ her father said. ‘His messenger arrived just after luncheon and has been closeted with the marquis. Apparently, Delsey went north on business and was injured. Someone shot him.’
Charlotte’s hand went to her mouth. ‘Is he dead?’ she whispered and began to tremble as her mind conjured horrendous pictures.
‘No, he was not severely injured by the ball,’ he said looking at her in concern. ‘Sit down, my dear child. You are shaking like a leaf.’
‘Jack...’ Charlotte said faintly, but sank back in her chair.
‘As I was saying, his wound was not serious, but you must brace yourself, my love—Jack may not remember you just at first. It appears that a blow to the head robbed him of his memory, though he was with an acquaintance. That person saved his life and was able to tell him who he was and where he lived. They are returning together, since Jack was ill of a fever, which weakened him, and does not care to travel alone just yet.’
‘He may not remember me?’ Charlotte stared at him, feeling numb with shock. ‘How can that be? I do not understand.’
‘I have heard of the condition. I believe it is called amnesia, but I do not know how long it may last—or if it could be permanent.’
‘Amnesia?’ Charlotte echoed the words. ‘Permanent...but if Jack does not know me...’ She could not put her thoughts into words for they were private to her and Jack. She remembered so clearly the proposal he’d made her.
Jack was not in love with her, but he liked her spirit and he thought she would make him a good wife—one who would not complain if he were to spend some time in London without her...or if he decided to take a mistress... She would mind if he left her alone for long periods and it would hurt terribly if she knew he had a mistress. But she’d accepted the bargain, because she loved Jack, and because she hoped he might come to love her in time. Besides, she’d felt that she could not bear to marry anyone else. If he could never love her, to be with him and bear his children must be enough.
‘He will remember when he sees you,’ Papa said comfortingly. ‘A man in love cannot fail to know the woman he loves. There will be a bond between you that will bring him back, Charlie.’
Charlotte blinked hard. Her father seldom spoke to her so lovingly. He had always left her to her mother’s care, only stepping in when he could see that she was in some distress. For him to be so considerate must mean he feared for her future happiness.
‘We must be glad that the settlement was signed in London,’ Mama said in a tone that brought back the harsh reality. ‘Otherwise Delsey might not feel it his duty to pay Papa’s debts. We must hope that he does recall his memory before too long. The wedding should not be postponed or it may never take place.’
‘No, ma’am,’ Papa spoke decisively. ‘The young people will need time to come to terms with each other. I shall not have Charlotte thrust into a union with a man she may not know. We cannot know what this has done to Delsey’s character.’
‘Surely he cannot have changed enough to make the marriage contract null and void?’
‘I am concerned with my daughter’s happiness, not with financial details.’
‘Papa, I wish to marry Jack no matter what,’ Charlotte said into the silence that fell between her parents. ‘If he still wishes to wed me, then I shall not withdraw—no matter if he is a little changed. If this...illness...has made some difference, it is surely my duty to help him through it?’
‘Do you love him, Charlie? I thought you were merely obliging your mama and me.’
Her cheeks were warm, but she met his questing gaze honestly. ‘Yes, Papa. I love him and it would break my heart to lose him.’
‘Then I shall say no more. We must simply hope for the best.’
Charlotte agreed, excused herself to her parents and left them to talk privately. Taking her shawl from where it lay over a chair, she went out into the formal gardens. The sun was warm, but there was a chill wind and she held the shawl tightly about her shoulders. She was feeling emotional, having been to the brink of despair and back only to learn that Jack might not recognise her when they met.
Supposing he was much changed! He might no longer find her amusing or admire her...for all his memories of their first meeting would be gone.
Tears were burning behind her eyes as she walked in the park. If Jack did not care for her...the years ahead could be very empty, but she would keep to the bargain she’d made with him. All she could hope was that he would gradually regain some of the memories he’d lost, both for his own sake and for hers.
* * *
It was not until she had been walking for some time that Charlotte had the feeling that she was being watched. She turned and looked about her, at first seeing no one and then catching sight of something white—a man’s shirt, perhaps. She thought whoever it was had moved behind the large oak a little to her left and halted. She wondered whether to challenge him, but then decided to be cautious.
She recalled hearing a gunshot in the woods the first afternoon that she’d walked here with her maid, and thought that perhaps it had been a poacher. Charlotte had meant to speak to the marquis about it, but somehow she had forgotten and now wondered if the person spying on her might also be a poacher. If she challenged him, he might do her some injury. It would be much better to return the way she had come and mention the incident to the marquis later.
* * *
Jack reined in as they approached the house, glancing at the man who had insisted on accompanying him all this way. Jeb had very reasonably argued that the person who had tried to kill him previously might well try again and that two men travelling together we
re safer than one.
‘It is a big house, my lord,’ Jeb said. ‘Your house in London was large, but nothing like this.’
‘Yes. I had vague memories, but no clear vision of the place. I was hoping my first sight of it might bring everything flooding back.’
‘I take it you remember nothing more?’
‘I fear not,’ Jack said and grimaced, a mocking look in his eyes. ‘Shall we face them? It’s a damnable thing, Jeb. I cannot even recall the young lady I am pledged to marry.’
‘Damnable,’ Jed agreed. ‘I regret that I cannot help you, sir. I have told you what I know—but I’ve never met Miss Stevens.’
They had not stayed to visit his house in London, even though Jeb knew its direction. Jack did not wish the news of his loss of memory to sweep through society, as it must if he’d returned and cut every acquaintance he had simply because he did not recognise them. In the country he would have more time to accustom himself to everything that seemed so alien and strange. He must relearn faces and names, and there must be someone amongst his friends or servants who could help him to recover some of his memories.
‘Well, I do no good sitting here,’ Jack said and urged the horse forward. As they dismounted at the front of the house two men came running to take the horses. Neither of their faces registered, though he saw that one of them looked him in the eyes, as if expecting some recognition.
‘Hillsborough, my lord,’ he said at last. ‘I was with you through the war as your batman and am now your head groom.’
‘Thank you and forgive me,’ Jack said. ‘I am glad to see you here. You may be able to help me. I shall visit the stables later—but first I must see my...grandfather.’
‘They are waiting for you anxiously, my lord. We were all relieved when your message came.’
‘Yes, I imagine so.’ He turned to Jeb. ‘Go with Hillsborough, Jeb, and tell him what you can of my stay in the north.’
‘Yes, my lord.’
‘And then ask for me. You are my guest. I owe you my life and you will stay here as a guest.’
Jeb inclined his head, then walked off with the groom.
Jack entered the house, looking about him. He felt there was something familiar about his surroundings, something that seemed to welcome him, was a part of him, and yet still he could not claim to remember. A distinguished man who could only be the butler came up to him and inclined his head.
‘Welcome home, my lord. Your grandfather is waiting in his private sitting room. He would like to see you before the others greet you.’
‘Yes, if you would conduct me... Forgive me, I feel I know you but your name eludes me.’
‘Evans, my lord. The housekeeper is Mrs Moore, and of course, there is Nanny and your grandfather’s valet, Beedle...’
‘Yes, thank you,’ Jack said and nodded grimly. He had so much to learn if he was to take up the reins of his life again—and he must if he were to have any chance of a normal life. As for his enemy...well, he must trust Jeb to help him there. In the former soldier he had found a good friend and the bond between them had grown stronger on the journey here. ‘Perhaps tomorrow you will present all the staff to me, Evans. I must get to grips with this affliction as swiftly as possible.’
‘Of course, sir. Nothing has ever stopped you before, sir. I am certain it will not be long before you have conquered this.’
The butler led the way upstairs and along the landing to a large double door at the end. He knocked and opened it, announcing Jack to the occupant of the comfortable room. Looking across to the window where an elderly man was sitting in a wing chair, he saw a man of some sixty or seventy years with a shock of white hair, bright fierce eyes and bushy brows. Having become acquainted with his own face in a slightly spotty mirror supplied by Mrs Scott, Jack saw that there was a strong resemblance.
‘Sir,’ he said, offering his hand as he strode across the floor to greet him. ‘Forgive me for causing you so much distress. I ought to have sent word sooner, but it was not easy.’
‘There is another you must make your apologies to,’ the marquis said gruffly and wrung his hand. ‘Charlotte’s mother was most distressed. I believe she thought you had deserted the girl. Though Charlotte remained calm herself, as well behaved as the lady you have chosen for your future wife ought to be.’
‘Charlotte...’ Jack said the name with a kind of wonder. Had he fallen desperately in love with this young woman? It seemed that he must have, since he’d proposed within a few weeks of meeting her. Jeb had known that much for the gossips had been full of it. ‘Yes, I must certainly apologise...but you say she took it calmly? Was she not distressed?’
Perhaps it was not a love match on her side? How awkward it was not to know the truth of the situation.
‘She confessed to being anxious when pressed, but thought it wrong to pry into your private affairs.’ The older man’s right hand came out to grasp Jack’s and he grasped his shoulder with the other. ‘It was so unlike you to break a promise, Jack. I confess I have been anxious from the start.’
‘I am sorry to have worried you, sir. It was most unfortunate and the consequences are worse than they might have been. With the wedding looming, I must learn to know people’s faces and what they are to me. Have I many friends in the district, sir?’
‘You have friends everywhere. From the time you could walk and talk, you made friends with anyone that came your way, including all the tenants. The first thing you do when you visit is to go off on a tour of the estate and talk to everyone, ask about the land, their families and inspect the state of the cottages.’
‘Then I take an interest in the estate?’
‘When you are here. We have an agent, of course, and a bailiff to run it from day to day, but you always have such good ideas for improvements—that’s why you’re so wealthy. Your own estates that your maternal grandfather left you have prospered, as have your many investments—though it’s no use to ask me about them. You must send for Ellis Simpson—he lives in London and is both your secretary and your agent. Your lawyer is his father, Mr Herbert Simpson.’
‘Thank you. I shall of course ask them both to come down as soon as it may prove convenient for them.’ Jack heaved a sigh of frustration and ran his fingers through his thick hair. ‘There is so much to learn and I hardly know where to begin.’
‘Perhaps when you’ve been here and begun to feel better in yourself the memories will return.’
‘Yes.’ Jack smiled oddly. ‘I have flashes sometimes... I saw this place as through a mist before I even knew my name. I was fortunate that Jeb knew so much of my life or I might have been lost for much longer.’
‘He is the man you spoke of.’ The marquis frowned. ‘Can you be sure he was not concerned in the attack on you?’
‘He was not responsible for it, but may well have contributed to it happening...not intentionally. It was Mr Scott I went to meet, sir. He had important news for me—something it seems I had suspected for a long time...’
‘You do not wish to tell me?’
‘It is a delicate matter and one that would undoubtedly cause you pain, sir. I shall not trouble you with it until I am certain of the outcome.’
‘Are you still in danger?’
‘Yes, I imagine whoever attacked me will try again. I know too much and so does Jeb. What he told me could hang a man, and others, I suppose—though they acted under his direction.’
‘Then you must take great care. I could not bear to lose you, too, Jack.’ The marquis’s gaze narrowed. ‘Tell me, does this mystery concern your father?’
‘It might,’ Jack admitted, then shook his head. ‘Forgive me, sir, I must seek out my betrothed, for she will think I am ignoring her.’
‘Yes, of course,’ his grandfather agreed in a gruff tone. ‘But promise me you will be careful in future?’
‘Of course. I have no wish to die just yet.’ Jack’s smile flashed out, bringing an answering smile from the older man, for it was the first he’d seen of the young man he’d loved all his life. ‘And now, sir, you must excuse me.’
* * *
Jack hesitated outside the small parlour at the back of the house, to which Evans directed him after telling him that Miss Charlotte was to be found there in the mornings.
‘Lady Stevens and Sir Mordred are in the green drawing room, but Miss Charlotte asked if she might have tea in the small parlour. I believe she often walks in the gardens and the French windows lead out into the walled garden.’
‘Thank you, Evans,’ Jack said. His butler seemed determined to give as much information at every opportunity and he could only be grateful for the loyalty of his grandfather’s people. Much of the feeling of being lost had left Jack since they rode on to the estate, for he felt he belonged here even if he could not remember his childhood.
Breathing deeply to calm the strangely erratic beating of his heart, he opened the door and went in to the small parlour. It was furnished in soft shades of green and cream, and the furniture looked as if it had been well used and loved.
This had been his grandmother’s room...
The thought came unbidden to his mind, but was lost as the diminutive figure by the window turned to look at him. Her hair was dark, but the light from the sun touched it with fire; her pale face had an enchanting elfin appeal and her eyes were large and deep. She stared at him with an eagerness that was tempered with uncertainty and something of her vulnerability touched his heart. Jack wished with all his heart that he could recall her, could go to her and take her hands and tell her that he loved her and had been lost without her, but the words would not come. He did not know her. He moved towards her, offering his hand in a formal way that irked him even as he struggled to break down the barrier his mind had erected.
‘Miss Charlotte. How can I beg your pardon for what has happened? I know that I was called away on business and that has been explained to me—but how I came to desert you when I should have escorted you here I cannot explain.’