“She’s almost asleep,” Mrs. Hopkins whispered.
“I asked you what song is that,” Olivia demanded, not lowering her voice.
“It’s an old Aretha Franklin song.”
“Don’t sing those types of songs to my baby.”
“Ma’am it’s just a gospel song.”
“I don’t care what it is. You keep those Negro spirituals to yourself and sing them to your grandchirren.”
Olivia turned to go down the hall and bumped right into Gino. By the hardened look on his face she knew he’d heard the exchange. He took her by the arm and led her into their bedroom where he closed the door behind them.
“I know you don’t care for my choice in a nanny. Other than your own hateful prejudice you have no cause to not want that woman to care for our children. I will tell you this and I’ll tell it only once. I never again want to see, hear or even hear about your being disrespectful to Mrs. Hopkins again! Are we clear?”
“I can’t believe you’re talking to me like this.”
“And I can’t believe what an absolute witch you’ve been these last few months, not only to me but to everyone. I’ve tried to give you the benefit of the doubt and blame it on your hormones. But, I’m afraid that’s not the case. I think this is the real Olivia finally making an appearance. And the sweet young woman I married was just an act you put on to win the part of my wife.”
Olivia stood unmoving; still stunned by the manner in which he was addressing her.
“And another thing. Perhaps you can give Mrs. Hopkins a break and spend some time with your own child once in a while. I know you’re disappointed that her eyes have turned brown and her hair isn’t blonde, but try and be a decent mother. Put aside your Aryan mindset for a minute and love her because she is your child.”
“I do love my child!”
“Show it for once. I’m going to meet a client for dinner. And don’t bother waiting up for me. I’ll be sleeping in one of the guest rooms tonight.”
Olivia tiptoed into the nursery and over to Lourdes’s crib. She lightly stroked her baby’s back, careful not to stir her. I love my child. I’d do anything for her. Maybe I’m not in here fussing over her every five minutes, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love her. She is everything to me. She leaned into the crib and kissed the top of Lourdes’s head. What a foolish thing for Gino to say! I don’t spend enough time with you because of your coloring when you look like any other white baby. I’m still amazed that he talked to me the way he did. I guess I have been on edge since I haven’t been able to see Anton. God, I can’t wait until these babies are out of me. That Mrs. Hopkins can spend her time raising these two while I spend more time with you.
Chapter 36
On June 30th, 1981, Sofia Gina and Isabella Cecilia Valente were born. Gino named both girls since Olivia offered no input. Before Olivia, Gino had been in love with a couple of women. With both of them he couldn’t pinpoint the moment he fell out of love with them. It was a gradual process. But with his wife he could say the exact moment he was no longer in love with her.
She was back in her room when the nurse brought their daughters in. He took Sofia and signaled the nurse to give his wife the other child. When the nurse went to hand her Isabella, she tossed an uninterested glance at the nurse, shook and turned her head. Confused, the nurse looked at Gino. He told her to put the baby back down. Part of him wanted to believe she was just exhausted from the birth but he knew that wasn’t the case. Though she initially seemed happy about her pregnancy, soon he saw otherwise. With Lourdes she enthusiastically decorated the nursery but for the twins she deferred all responsibility to an interior designer to decorate and arrange the nursery to accommodate them.
During her first pregnancy she never missed appointments, but this time, the nurse from the doctor’s office called him because Olivia rarely showed up. Before Olivia went into labor, he received a call from Mrs. Petrova that she walked in on Olivia drinking some of the sherry he kept in his study. He was incensed and made plans to leave work early to go home and confront her but then he got another call. This time it was Mrs. Hopkins informing him that Olivia had gone into labor.
Now he sat looking back and forth between his precious twins and a wife who couldn’t care less about their existence. He then wondered if it was the end of his love for her or his infatuation.
He thought maybe he was just enamored with the idea of having a readymade family fall into his lap right when he was most longing for personal stability. He wanted nothing more than to be madly in love with the mother of his children but that was not the case. He cuddled Sofia closer to him as he pondered the fate of his family.
Two weeks after the births of the twins, Olivia decided she needed some time away. She wanted to hurry and see Anton but she found out he was overseas for the next week. She didn’t want an argument from Gino about her leaving the babies so soon. She had Mrs. Petrova pack her a suitcase and Mr. Calhoun whisk her to the airport before her husband got home. She went to a resort in Palm Springs where she relaxed, got pampered and of course, shopped. She was gone for a week and, during that time didn’t call home once to check on her children, only to have Mrs. Petrova relay her whereabouts to Gino. She knew Gino would be livid but she was resigned to dealing with his anger upon her return. In the meantime, she enjoyed not having to answer to a husband or her children. She could just be herself. When she got back home she would put on the best act of contriteness she could for Gino. And she would be the best mother possible to the girls. She knew she could be that for Lourdes but she wasn’t sure about the other two. Nevertheless, to placate Gino she would at least make a show of it.
Chapter 37
Olivia took in a deep breath before following Mr. Calhoun in as he took her luggage and packages upstairs. She went directly up to the nursery where she found Mrs. Hopkins changing the twins’ diapers. Olivia went straight over to Lourdes’s crib and picked her up into her arms. Lourdes giggled in delight at the sight of her mother.
“How’s my baby been, huh? Did you miss your mommy? I sure missed you, yes I did. I brought you something back, too.”
She sat down in the nearby rocker and bounced Lourdes on her knee. She looked over to where the twins were to find Mrs. Hopkins holding one of them, giving her a disapproving stare.
“Is there a problem, Mrs. Hopkins?” she inquired curtly.
“No, Ma’am.”
After a few minutes of playing with Lourdes, Olivia put her back down to go over to the girls when Lourdes screamed in protest.
“Oh, it’s okay, baby. I’m right here. I’ll be right back.”
Lourdes cried even louder prompting Olivia to pick her back up. She balanced the baby on her hip and continued to the twins. She looked at them, almost as if for the first time. They are pretty babies. I had no idea babies could change in two week’s time because I’d swear they were kind of ugly when I left. Neither of them is as beautiful as my Lourdes but still…Olivia took turns rubbing their bellies with her free hand. She felt an inkling of remorse at having drunk liquor while carrying them. They appeared to be normal babies. She heard someone clearing his throat. It was Gino. He was leaning against the doorframe.
“When you get a moment can you come to my office?” His request was laced with ice coldness.
“Sure, Gino.”
She took Lourdes back to her crib where she found a toy to occupy her while she slipped out of the room. She slowed her pace the closer she got to Gino’s office. Olivia stopped as she got to the door and ran her fingers through her now below shoulder-length hair and entered the room.
Gino was sitting stone-faced, his fingers laced together. He looked like a boss about to fire an employee. Olivia slipped into the chair in front of his desk.
“And how was your vacation?” His inflection was pseudo jovial.
“Gino, I know you’re mad but I needed some time away.”
“Mad? Oh you don’t know half of it, lady. How about disgusted, sickened an
d enraged at your lack of mothering skills. What kind of mother leaves her newborn babies who haven’t even been in the world two weeks and without so much as a ‘so long’?! And you call leaving a message about where you were without once asking about your children!”
“Please, please try and understand. It was just so overwhelming for me, I thought if I didn’t get out of here, I would go crazy. But I’ve had a chance to clear my head. I promise you I’ll be a much better wife and mother. I’ll prove how much I love you and the children.”
His response was a piercing gaze that showed he was unmoved by her words. He stared at her with such marked acrimony it made her shift in her seat.
“I saw something interesting on the insurance bill.”
Instantly, she knew what was next. She braced herself for more of his wrath.
“Seems that during your hospital stay you instructed the doctor to perform a tubal ligation. It was so thoughtful of you to make such an important life-changing decision without even consulting your husband. But then again, that’s your modus operandi isn’t it? You didn’t come to me when you decided to go leave our babies while you went to get pampered in Palm Springs. You certainly didn’t come to me when you wanted to pour liquor down your throat. So why would you come to me with your decision to forgo the possibility of having any more children? By the way, I swear to God Olivia, if there are any problems with my kids from your drinking…” He moved his head from side to side, his eyes holding an unspoken threat.
“I’m sorry, Gino,” was all she could manage to say. She had worked out a whole script in her head but being hit with two unexpected curve balls like him finding out about her drinking and the hospital procedure, completely threw her off. She had figured he or his accountant would just pay the bill and not actually go over it.
“Not that it would do any good but you can apologize about drinking and leaving your children but by God don’t apologize for cutting off an avenue to have more babies. Because darling, I wouldn’t want you to have another one of my kids for anything in the world.” He leaned forward as he pointed at her. “You aren’t even fit to raise a dog much less children!”
She was so rankled by his last sentence that she flinched. Gino rose from his chair and marched out of the room leaving Olivia there, too astonished to move. She grabbed on to the front of the desk as she inhaled deep breaths. Tears were threatening her eyes but she forced them back inside. A moment later Gino reentered the room.
“And so you know, from now on I’ll be sleeping in a separate bedroom. I would go to the other wing but I want to be close to my kids.”
“Your kids? They’re my kids too,” she responded without turning around to face him.
“Are they? You have a habit of doing things that make me forget. Anyway, the only reason I’m not filing for divorce is I want to at least try and give the girls as stable a home as possible. We will put on a united front for their sake since I don’t want them growing up in a broken home. No matter how lousy a mother you are, it’s better than them not having a mother at all. That’s the only reason your bags weren’t packed and waiting for you when you got back.” He left the room for the final time.
Olivia stepped inside her substantial closet, turned on the light and closed the door behind her. She looked around and felt comforted by all she’d acquired. Her wardrobe could rival any movie star or First Lady. No matter what’s going on right now with Gino, I’m still on top. Look at all I’ve gained. She went over to a hatbox on a shelf and retrieved a black velvet box behind it. She laid it on top of the storage island. She felt under the top shelf of the island until she found the key that was covered by tape and removed it. She took the key and the box and sat cross-legged on the floor. She opened the box and an instant rush swept over her. She looked at the little reminders of her past, paperwork and photos. She held the picture of her and her parents that was taken on her father’s birthday.
“You two said I would never amount to anything. I wish there was a way to show you just how wrong you were. If you at least treated me like a human being, I’d have you set up in a nice house. But no, you treated me like shit. And look where you are still and where I am. I hope you both rot in hell.” Olivia closed her eyes and breathed in deeply. “I’ve still won. Regardless of anything else, I’ve won.”
Chapter 38
Olivia was growing restless. Gino had decided they should take the girls to the new attraction at Knott’s Berry Farm, Camp Snoopy, on the same afternoon Anton wanted to see her. There was no plausible reason she could give Gino as to why she couldn’t come, so her hands were tied. All she could do was hope the girls would tire out as soon as possible. It had been weeks since she last seen Anton. She hated how he had total control of when they were together. Sometimes it would be months until they saw each other and he would pick up the phone and summon her. There were times her pride wanted to turn him down but that wasn’t an option for two reasons; one he had information about her that she didn’t want him to reveal, and two, she wanted to see him. She craved him. Despite him taking her on an emotional rollercoaster for nearly three years as he vacillated between warmth and coldness toward her, she still needed, wanted him desperately.
In the beginning, Olivia thought she would at least be able to see Anton when he visited his brother. However, he hadn’t been to the house since the night of the wedding celebration. She knew Anton and Gino weren’t close but she soon realized the only tie binding them was the business their father started. There was no stopping by the house, not even to see his nieces. He would send gifts on their birthdays and at Christmas but that was it. He only lived a half hour away but he might as well have been in another country. Seeing him so infrequently was torture to her.
If he wanted to marry her, she would leave Gino in a second. But he wasn’t the least bit interested in marriage so she stayed where she was. Sure she was guaranteed three million dollars if she divorced her husband, but she wasn’t willing to let go of the prestige and honor that went with being Mrs. Valente. She loved the way people treated her upon knowing who her husband was.
The shops and boutiques she frequented would practically roll out a red carpet upon her entrance. And not once did she ever inquire on the price of anything. If she liked it, she bought it. There was no such thing as her waiting for a table at a restaurant or not gaining entry into a club. She was afraid, excluding having money, some of the other privileges she enjoyed being married to a wealthy and well-respected man would greatly diminish if she were to become the ex-wife.
She lightly drummed her fingers on the table as Gino and the girls finished their meal at Mrs. Knott’s Chicken Dinner Restaurant.
“Father, I’m so glad I saw Snoopy!” exclaimed an excited Sofia as she held a biscuit in one hand. “He’s my favorite character!”
Gino beamed at his daughter. He was tickled at how she tried to say “character” but it came out as “carrotuh” and “father” always came out as “fodder”. Though she didn’t necessarily pronounce certain words correctly, her speaking abilities and vocabulary was more befitting a five-year-old than a two-year-old. He didn’t want to have a favorite child and he loved all his daughters, but Sofia was special. She had already developed a feisty and sparkling personality that reminded him so much of his beloved mother Gina.
Lourdes was becoming more and more like her mother—a spoiled princess who felt her hands should receive whatever her eyes saw. Isabella was very quiet, always observing everything and everyone around her. She didn’t speak as much but he could tell she was a smart one as well. He hoped she would get more of Sofia’s spark because she had a tendency to fade in the background, becoming overshadowed by the stronger personalities of Sofia and Lourdes.
“And you know who else I liked?”
“Who was that, sweetheart?”
“Charlie Brown! Lourdes was scared of him but I wasn’t. I gave him a big, big hug!”
“You sure did.”
Sofia turned her attention
to her mother. “Mother, you not hungry?”
“No, I’m not. And you don’t need any more biscuits.” She didn’t like that Sofia seemed to be retaining her baby fat. She tried implementing a diet for her but that tattler, Mrs. Petrova, went to Gino about it. He came to her screaming about her trying to do such a thing to a two-year-old. Olivia didn’t understand why he didn’t go along with her considering he worked out and watched what he ate most of the time. At that moment she didn’t even have to look at him; she could sense his eyes were burning right into her.
“Eat your biscuit, sweetheart,” Gino instructed Sofia without taking his eyes off Olivia.
As Sofia enjoyed the rest of her biscuit, Olivia looked away from her so as to not show her detestation. Go ahead and become a fatty then like that no good mother of mine. When you do, you’ll have your father to thank. She turned her attention to Lourdes as she reached over and stroked her hair. My Lourdes isn’t going to turn out that way, that’s for sure. Every day she reminds me more of her aunt. My sweet little princess will be a heartbreaker; I can see that already.
Gino was mildly irritated with Olivia. Lately he saw she constantly harped on Sofia about what she ate. He didn’t want Sofia having junk all the time, but he sure wasn’t going to deprive his daughter of food. If his wife had her way, she’d be eating nothing but celery sticks and lettuce. Olivia had gotten better at mothering, at least as far as Lourdes was concerned. She spent more time with her but not as much with the twins. He was told she would often take Lourdes out with her but would leave Sofia and Isabella at home. He talked to her about it many times but she continued doing it, which is why he decided to take some time from the office to try and spend quality time with all the girls.
One thing he was going to put a stop to all the unnecessary toys Olivia bought Lourdes. She now had her own room and it was filled with so many toys she couldn’t possibly play with them all if she wanted to. She would tell Olivia—not ask what toy she wanted and she had it the next day. The only request Olivia wouldn’t give in to was the one for a puppy. He was bewildered at how she stood her ground on that issue. Later when he questioned her about it she said she was allergic to pet hair. He should’ve reined Olivia’s spending in a long time ago and that was about to happen. He had to put a stop to Lourdes’s ever-growing spoiled behavior and make sure it didn’t spread to the other two. As if on cue, began Lourdes pulling at Sofia’s stuffed animal.
Blinding Mirror Page 13