by Elaine White
The combination of Chuck in his face each and every day, then spending the weekend listening to his preacher berating him, and his parents parroting every word all weekend long, meant there was no reprieve.
In front of him, Chuck kept talking, breaking his heart with every word.
“God says: don't cheat, don't lie, don't kill, don't be prideful.
Most parents who watch you live a life under those rules would say: I'm proud of you.
But the truth is that, without those things, you can't lie even to save someone's feelings. Marriages and school systems would fall apart if cheaters were never forgiven. If you can't have sex out of wedlock, girls or boys who are raped are considered sinners even though it wasn't their fault or choice. Girls who get pregnant from rape are told to commit murder, to abort their baby, so that they don't have a baby out of wedlock and 'shame' their families. Others are told to have that baby out of wedlock regardless, because they're good religious girls and don't want to commit murder.
Their choice is sin or sin.
There is no room in religion for consequences, compassion or logic, if you obey every rule in the Bible without pause. The Bible was written as a guideline, in a time when things were different.
I believe it has no standing in telling us how to live our lives today, unless we read each rule, law and guideline with the sense and logic of our time. People can still be religious while mixing denim and cotton. People can still be devout if they had sex in Bible study camp. Anyone with faith can have doubts, can have pride in their work, and lie to protect those they love.
I believe that you can be a religious man if you have an open mind.
But I don't believe that you should preach the words of the Bible – don't lie, don't sin, don't let pride into your heart – if you can't also follow the teachings not spelled out for us: forgiveness, understanding and acceptance of all.
I choose a different path.
I choose not to follow religion, because no one on Earth can tell me which aspect of religion to follow. Do I have compassion and offer forgiveness, while never being prideful, boastful or lying? Or can I only follow the laws that are written?
I was raised to embrace and love all, according to the Bible. To be accepting and love thy neighbour. But life tells me that I'm wrong. That acceptance isn't deserved by those who are different. By those who aren't devout, aren't Christian, aren't straight or white or able bodied. Yet God and Jesus loved those people as much as They loved everyone else.
How can I, in good faith, trust a religion that lies to me?
My own father would disown me, try to change me, think me sinful, just because of who I am. Because of who I was born to be. Because of how God made me.
My name is Chuck and I'm gay.”
The hall fell silent, as he ended his statement.
Defiance could tell that Chuck was close to crying, but he wasn't faring much better. He hadn't realised until now that Chuck had sat in church with him every Sunday, listening to the same sermons and believing they were targeting him the same way Defiance did.
God, he'd been so blind!
Keeping his head down for a moment, Defiance could almost see the weight lifted from Chuck, his stance changing to one of relief. Then, out of the silence, someone clapped, dragging Defiance's attention to the front left of the assemble seats.
Of course. It would be Harrison who stood from his seat, clapping and whistling his approval. It wasn't long before the rest of the newly formed LGBTTQQIAAP club rose to their feet, joining in without missing a beat. It took him a minute to remember their name, something that was cheeky and completely fitted the cheerful, positive people who made up the group.
The Bright Side Brigade, that was it.
Chuck began to cry as the entire hall turned into a concert of foot stomps, whistles and shouts of support. The principal spoke to him for only a second before he walked off the stage, the entire Bright Side Brigade leaving their seats to head his way.
Before they could, Defiance got up, slipped down the side aisle and walked around the back of the assembly to beat them to it.
It was time. Time that he stood up for himself, and followed the school's teachings instead of those spouted by a preacher who had clearly lost touch with his own family. If Chuck could be brave enough to question everything his life had ever revolved around, maybe Defiance could too. And there was no better time than now.
Once he was close to where Chuck seemed to have frozen at the bottom of the stage steps, Defiance called out to grab his attention.
“Chuck.” He knew he had no right, but if he didn't say it now, he'd chicken out and Chuck might never understand what had been going on for the last few weeks. Or just why he'd been treated so abysmally by someone who had more reason than most to be kind to him.
To his relief, Chuck stopped and waited with a look of patience, as he attempted to explain just how stupid he'd been. Removing his hands from his pockets, where he'd stuffed them out of nerves, he held them up to prove that he wasn't going to be a problem. He'd say his piece and then leave.
“I'm sorry,” he said quietly, stepping up close to say the rest, “I'm gay too. Your dad has been spending months making my life hell, at church. I'm sorry I took it out on you.” There was so much more that needed to be said, but the way Chuck shook his head stopped him from saying them out loud.
He had a feeling there was no forgiveness for what he'd done to Chuck, especially now that he knew he'd been feeling the same, living the same nightmare every Sunday. Though, considering he was the preacher's son, he probably had to listen to it 24/7.
“I'm sorry my father can't see that we're the way we are because God made us that way,” Chuck replied, looking so sympathetic and apologetic that it made his gut twist. “And I'm sorry that the God I once believed in lets these things happen to good, honest people like us.” He placed his hand on Defiance's arm, offered a smile that seemed to suggest there were no hard feelings, and turned to walk away.
Afraid to let him keep walking and not say what he really needed to say, Defiance moved in beside him, falling into step. “That took real guts,” he said, knowing he would never have been capable of such bravery, “and...I don't have any right to ask...but can I drive you home?”
They both paused for a moment, Chuck looking up at him with that blinking, shocked gaze that said he'd crossed a line. And he knew it. He didn't know why he'd said the words when he knew fine well what was going to happen.
What right did he have to ask Chuck to spend time with him when he'd spent the last few weeks torturing him? But that was why he had to do it. He needed Chuck to know that he wasn't alone. That he had someone to talk to, who understood the struggles of his faith, and trying to keep that faith without compromising himself.
Chuck took a breath, and Defiance held his, waiting on the inevitable lecture that told him to go to hell. “I'd like that,” he said, his voice soft and a little uncertain.
He had to take a moment to process the words, before he opened his eyes and saw the smile on Chuck's face. He couldn't believe that it had actually gone the only way he'd never thought it could.
Then again, after that speech he'd given, Chuck had just proven that he was so much more than anyone gave him credit for. And he wasn't as judgemental as his father.
They walked together, heading for the boisterous Bright Side Brigade waiting for Chuck, and he realised that he could have had this all along. Weeks ago. Months ago. If he'd only been as brave as Chuck had, and stood up for himself, believed in himself, and accepted who he was.
That was something Defiance would have to work on. But, if he could do it with Chuck by his side, it might not be so hard.
With a smile, Chuck clasped Defiance's hand, while chatting animatedly to his friends. A smile crept onto his lips and stayed there for far longer than he'd ever smiled before. The first genuine smile in months, maybe years. All because Chuck had been strong enough to stand up to his father, in front of the entire school.
Freddie grabbed his arm and offered a grin, while he slipped into the space between their clasped hands and hugged Chuck, without ever breaking the hold. The glance he gave their hands was one of affection.
All he needed was this, right here. Friends who didn't judge, who didn't ask questions, who didn't push a label on him, who gave him space to breathe and think and figure out who he was.
If a preacher's son could accept himself, surely the football star could do the same?
The End
P.S. If you'd like to read this Bonus Short in Chuck's POV, then you can find 'Preacher's Son' in the charity anthology: Strength.
Acknowledgments
As always, I want to thank my parents first and foremost. They have always supported me, and they've allowed me to educate them about LGBTTQQIAAP equality and rights in ways that mean a lot to me and allow me to speak freely about my works in progress.
To Sarah, the publisher I never dreamed I'd have. Thank you for always supporting my work and my ideas, even when they're a little out of the box. And to Elizabeth, for making my stories shine and catching all my stupid mistakes.
To all my readers: every one of you is fantastic! Your support – from private comments, likes, shares and reviews, purchases and requests for new stories – means the world to me. I can never thank you enough.
I'd like to acknowledge the awesome geekdoms mentioned throughout the series:
Foreign to You, by Jeremy Martin (discussed by Fearghas and Sterling)
The Immemorial Year, by T.J. Klune (dystopian discussed by Austin and Harrison)
That Feeling When, by S.M. James (snarky YA discussed by Austin and Harrison)
The book Harrison reads for his class assignment is entirely fiction.
The games Sterling plays on his phone are: Maleficent (matching coloured gems) and Clockmaker (uncursing houses)
The statistics about suicides related to sexual orientation are from http://www.bullyingstatistics.org/content/gay-bullying-statistics.html
Helpline Advice
No one torch can cast a beam wide enough to erase the darkness, especially if your batteries are low. But with a little help, guidance, and support you can shine a light on the darkness that can help you go forward with confidence.
Every step is a victory.
If you feel like your batteries are low, and you can't find your way by yourself, please talk to someone who can help. These sites are specifically for LGBT Youth, but please turn to Google or a friend, who can help you find the right helpline for your needs:
UK:
The Lesbian and Gay Foundation
Broken Rainbow UK
MindOut
US:
The Trevor Project
PFLAG
Revel and Riot
oSTEM
Worldwide:
Stop Homophobia
IASP
Now Matters Now
The It Gets Better Project has a searchable page, where you can select your country, to find the best helpline for you.
About the Author
Elaine White is the author of multi-genre MM romance, celebrating 'love is love' and offering diversity in both genre and character within her stories.
Growing up in a small town and fighting cancer in her early teens taught her that life is short and dreams should be pursued. She lives vicariously through her independent, and often hellion characters, exploring all possibilities within the romantic universe.
The Winner of two Watty Awards – Collector's Dream (An Unpredictable Life) and Hidden Gem (Faithfully) – and an Honourable Mention in 2016's Rainbow Awards (A Royal Craving) Elaine is a self-professed geek, reading addict, and a romantic at heart.
You can keep in touch with Elaine on the following sites:
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