by Nagle, Pati
“Go to sleep, Stavin,” Snake said. “Try to trust me, and try not to fear the morning.”
Stavin gazed at her for a few seconds, searching for truth in Snake’s pale eyes. “Will Grass watch?”
She was startled by the question, or, rather, by the acceptance behind the question. She brushed his hair from his forehead and smiled a smile that was tears just beneath the surface. “Of course.” She picked Grass up. “Watch this child, and guard him.” The dreamsnake lay quiet in her hand, and his eyes glittered black. She laid him gently on Stavin’s pillow.
“Now sleep.”
Stavin closed his eyes, and the life seemed to flow out of him. The alteration was so great that Snake reached out to touch him, then saw that he was breathing, slowly, shallowly. She tucked a blanket around him and stood up. The abrupt change in position dizzied her; she staggered and caught herself. Across her shoulder, Mist tensed.
Snake’s eyes stung and her vision was oversharp, fever-clear. The sound she imagined she heard swooped in closer. She steadied herself against hunger and exhaustion, bent slowly, and picked up the leather case. Mist touched her cheek with the tip of her tongue.
She pushed aside the tent flap and felt relief that it was still night. She could stand the daytime heat, but the brightness of the sun curled through her, burning. The moon must be full; though the clouds obscured everything, they diffused the light so the sky appeared gray from horizon to horizon. Beyond the tents, groups of formless shadows projected from the ground. Here, near the edge of the desert, enough water existed so clumps and patches of bush grew, providing shelter and sustenance for all manner of creatures. The black sand, which sparkled and blinded in the sunlight, at night was like a layer of soft soot. Snake stepped out of the tent, and the illusion of softness disappeared; her boots slid crunching into the sharp hard grains.
Stavin’s family waited, sitting close together between the dark tents that clustered in a patch of sand from which the bushes had been ripped and burned. They looked at her silently, hoping with their eyes, showing no expression in their faces. A woman somewhat younger than Stavin’s mother sat with them. She was dressed, as they were, in long loose desert robes, but she wore the only adornment Snake had seen among these people: a leader’s circle, hanging around her neck on a leather thong. She and Stavin’s eldest parent were marked close kin by their similarities: sharp-cut planes of face, high cheekbones, his hair white and hers graying early from deep black, their eyes the dark brown best suited for survival in the sun. On the ground by their feet a small black animal jerked sporadically against a net, and infrequently gave a shrill weak cry.
“Stavin is asleep,” Snake said. “Do not disturb him, but go to him if he wakes.”
Stavin’s mother and the youngest partner rose and went inside, but the older man stopped before her. “Can you help him?”
“I hope so. The tumor is advanced, but it seems solid.” Her own voice sounded removed, ringing slightly false, as if she were lying. “Mist will be ready in the morning.” She still felt the need to give him reassurance, but she could think of none.
“My sister wished to speak with you,” he said, and left them alone, without introduction, without elevating himself by saying that the tall woman was the leader of this group. Snake glanced back, but the tent flap fell shut. She was feeling her exhaustion more deeply, and across her shoulders Mist was, for the first time, a weight she thought heavy.
“Are you all right?”
Snake turned. The woman moved toward her with a natural elegance made slightly awkward by advanced pregnancy. Snake had to look up to meet her gaze. She had small, fine lines at the corners of her eyes and beside her mouth, as if she laughed, sometimes, in secret. She smiled, but with concern. “You seem very tired. Shall I have someone make you a bed?”
“Not now,” Snake said, “not yet. I won’t sleep until afterward.”
The leader searched her face, and Snake felt a kinship with her in their shared responsibility.
“I understand, I think. Is there anything we can give you? Do you need aid with your preparations?”
Snake found herself having to deal with the questions as if they were complex problems. She turned them in her tired mind, examined them, dissected them, and finally grasped their meanings. “My pony needs food and water—”
“It is taken care of.”
“And I need someone to help with Mist. Someone strong. But it’s more important that they aren’t afraid.”
The leader nodded. “I would help you,” she said, and smiled again, a little. “But I am a bit clumsy of late. I will find someone.”
“Thank you.”
Somber again, the older woman inclined her head and moved slowly toward a small group of tents. Snake watched her go, admiring her grace. She felt small and young and grubby in comparison.
His body tensed to hunt, Sand slid in circles from Snake’s wrist. She caught him before he could drop to the ground. Sand lifted the upper half of his body from her hands. He flicked out his tongue, peering toward the little animal, sensing its body heat, tasting its fear. “I know thou art hungry,” Snake said. “But that creature is not for thee.” She put Sand in the case, took Mist from her shoulders, and let the cobra coil herself in her dark compartment.
The small animal shrieked and struggled again when Snake’s diffuse shadow passed over it. She bent and picked the creature up. Its rapid series of terrified cries slowed and diminished and finally stopped as she stroked it. It lay still, breathing hard, exhausted, staring up at her with yellow eyes. It had long hind legs and wide pointed ears, and its nose twitched at the serpent smell. Its soft black fur was marked off in skewed squares by the cords of the net.
“I am sorry to take your life,” Snake told it. “But there will be no more fear, and I will not hurt you.” She closed her hand gently around the animal and, stroking it, grasped its spine at the base of its skull. She pulled, once, quickly. It seemed to struggle for an instant, but it was already dead. It convulsed; its legs drew up against its body and its toes curled and quivered. It seemed to stare up at her, even now. She freed its body from the net.
Snake chose a small vial from her belt pouch, pried open the animal’s clenched jaws, and let a single drop of the vial’s cloudy preparation fall into its mouth. Quickly she opened the satchel again and called Mist out. The cobra came slowly, slipping over the edge, hood closed, sliding in the sharp-grained sand. Her milky scales caught the thin light. She smelled the animal, flowed to it, touched it with her tongue. For a moment Snake was afraid she would refuse dead meat, but the body was still warm, still twitching, and she was very hungry. “A tidbit for thee.” Snake spoke to the cobra: a habit of solitude. “To whet thine appetite.” Mist nosed the beast, reared back, and struck, sinking her short fixed fangs into the tiny body, biting again, pumping out her store of poison. She released it, took a better grip, and began to work her jaws around it. It would hardly distend her throat. When Mist lay quiet, digesting the small meal, Snake sat beside her and held her, waiting.
She heard footsteps in the sand.
“I’m sent to help you.”
He was a young man, despite a scatter of white in his black hair. He was taller than Snake, and not unattractive. His eyes were dark, and the sharp planes of his face were further hardened because his hair was pulled straight back and tied. His expression was neutral.
“Are you afraid?” Snake asked.
“I will do as you tell me.”
Though his form was obscured by his robe, his long, fine hands showed strength.
“Then hold her body, and don’t let her surprise you.” Mist was beginning to twitch, the effect of the drugs Snake had put in the small animal. The cobra’s eyes stared, unseeing.
“If it bites—”
“Hold, quickly!”
The young man reached, but he had hesitated too long. Mist writhed, lashing out, striking him in the face with her tail. He staggered back, at least as surprised as hurt. Sn
ake kept a close grip behind Mist’s jaws, and struggled to catch the rest of her as well. Mist was no constrictor, but she was smooth and strong and fast. Thrashing, she forced out her breath in a long hiss. She would have bitten anything she could reach. As Snake fought with her, she managed to squeeze the poison glands and force out the last drops of venom. They hung from Mist’s fangs for a moment, catching light as jewels would; the force of the serpent’s convulsions flung them away into the darkness. Snake struggled with the cobra, aided for once by the sand, on which Mist could get little purchase. Snake felt the young man behind her, grabbing for Mist’s body and tail. The seizure stopped abruptly, and Mist lay limp in their hands.
“I am sorry—”
“Hold her,” Snake said. “We have the night to go.”
During Mist’s second convulsion, the young man held her firmly and was of some real help. Afterward, Snake answered his interrupted question. “If she were making poison and she bit you, you would probably die. Even now her bite would make you ill. But unless you do something foolish, if she manages to bite, she’ll bite me.”
“You would benefit my cousin little if you were dead or dying.”
“You misunderstand. Mist can’t kill me.” Snake held out her hand so he could see the white scars of slashes and punctures. He stared at them, and looked into her eyes for a long moment, then looked away.
The bright spot in the clouds from which the light radiated moved westward in the sky; they held the cobra like a child. Snake nearly dozed, but Mist moved her head, dully attempting to evade restraint, and Snake woke herself abruptly. “I mustn’t sleep,” she said to the young man. “Talk to me. What are you called?”
As Stavin had, the young man hesitated. He seemed afraid of her, or of something. “My people,” he said, “think it unwise to speak our names to strangers.”
“If you consider me a witch you should not have asked my aid. I know no magic, and I claim none.”
“It’s not a superstition,” he said. “Not as you might think. We’re not afraid of being bewitched.”
“I can’t learn all the customs of all the people on this earth, so I keep my own. My custom is to address those I work with by name.” Watching him, Snake tried to decipher his expression in the dim light.
“Our families know our names, and we exchange names with our partners.”
Snake considered that custom, and thought it would fit badly on her. “No one else? Ever?”
“Well . . . a friend might know one’s name.”
“Ah,” Snake said. “I see. I am still a stranger, and perhaps an enemy.”
“A friend would know my name,” the young man said again. “I would not offend you, but now you misunderstand. An acquaintance is not a friend. We value friendship highly.”
“In this land one should be able to tell quickly if a person is worth calling friend.”
“We take friends seldom. Friendship is a great commitment.”
“It sounds like something to be feared.”
He considered that possibility. “Perhaps it’s the betrayal of friendship we fear. That is a very painful thing.”
“Has anyone ever betrayed you?”
He glanced at her sharply, as if she had exceeded the limits of propriety. “No,” he said, and his voice was as hard as his face. “No friend. I have no one I call friend.”
His reaction startled Snake. “That’s very sad,” she said, and grew silent, trying to comprehend the deep stresses that could close people off so far, comparing her loneliness of necessity and theirs of choice. “Call me Snake,” she said finally, “if you can bring yourself to pronounce it. Saying my name binds you to nothing.”
The young man seemed about to speak; perhaps he thought again that he had offended her, perhaps he felt he should further defend his customs. But Mist began to twist in their hands, and they had to hold her to keep her from injuring herself. The cobra was slender for her length, but powerful, and the convulsions she went through were more severe than any she had ever had before. She thrashed in Snake’s grasp, and almost pulled away. She tried to spread her hood, but Snake held her too tightly. She opened her mouth and hissed, but no poison dripped from her fangs.
She wrapped her tail around the young man’s waist. He began to pull her and turn, to extricate himself from her coils.
“She’s not a constrictor,” Snake said. “She won’t hurt you. Leave her—”
But it was too late; Mist relaxed suddenly and the young man lost his balance. Mist whipped herself away and lashed figures in the sand. Snake wrestled with her alone while the young man tried to hold her, but she curled herself around Snake and used the grip for leverage. She started to pull herself from Snake’s hands. Snake threw herself and the serpent backward into the sand; Mist rose above her, open-mouthed, furious, hissing. The young man lunged and grabbed her just beneath her hood. Mist struck at him, but Snake, somehow, held her back. Together they deprived Mist of her hold and regained control of her. Snake struggled up, but Mist suddenly went quite still and lay almost rigid between them. They were both sweating; the young man was pale under his tan, and even Snake was trembling.
“We have a little while to rest,” Snake said. She glanced at him and noticed the dark line on his cheek where, earlier, Mist’s tail had slashed him. She reached up and touched it. “You’ll have a bruise,” she said. “But it will not scar.”
“If it were true, that serpents sting with their tails, you would be restraining both the fangs and the stinger, and I’d be of little use.”
“Tonight I’d need someone to keep me awake, whether or not they helped me with Mist. But just now, I would have had trouble holding her alone.” Fighting the cobra produced adrenalin, but now it ebbed, and her exhaustion and hunger were returning, stronger.
“Snake . . . ”
“Yes?”
He smiled, quickly, embarrassed. “I was trying the pronunciation.”
“Good enough.”
“How long did it take you to cross the desert?”
“Not very long. Too long. Six days. I don’t think I went the best way.”
“How did you live?”
“There’s water. We traveled at night and rested during the day, wherever we could find shade.”
“You carried all your food?”
She shrugged. “A little.” And wished he would not speak of food.
“What’s on the other side?”
“Mountains. Streams. Other people. The station I grew up and took my training in. Then another desert, and a mountain with a city inside.”
“I’d like to see a city. Someday.”
“I’m told the city doesn’t let in people from outside, people like you and me. But there are many towns in the mountains, and the desert can be crossed.”
He said nothing, but Snake’s memories of leaving home were recent enough that she could imagine his thoughts.
∞
The next set of convulsions came, much sooner than Snake had expected. By their severity she gauged something of the stage of Stavin’s illness, and wished it were morning. If she was going to lose the child, she would have it done, and grieve, and try to forget. The cobra would have battered herself to death against the sand if Snake and the young man had not been holding her. She suddenly went completely rigid, with her mouth clamped shut and her forked tongue dangling.
She stopped breathing.
“Hold her,” Snake said. “Hold her head. Quickly, take her, and if she gets away, run. Take her! She won’t strike at you now, she could only slash you by accident.”
He hesitated only a moment, then grasped Mist behind the head. Snake ran, slipping in the deep sand, from the edge of the circle of tents to a place where bushes still grew. She broke off dry thorny branches that tore her scarred hands. Peripherally she noticed a mass of horned vipers, so ugly they seemed deformed, nesting beneath the clump of desiccated vegetation. They hissed at her; she ignored them. She found a thin hollow stem and carried it back. Her
hands bled from deep scratches.
Kneeling by Mist’s head, she forced open the cobra’s mouth and pushed the tube deep into her throat, through the air passage at the base of the tongue. She bent close, took the tube in her mouth, and breathed gently into Mist’s lungs.
She noticed: the young man’s hands, holding the cobra as she had asked; his breathing, first a sharp gasp of surprise, then ragged; the sand scraping her elbows where she leaned; the cloying smell of the fluid seeping from Mist’s fangs; her own dizziness, she thought from exhaustion, which she forced away by necessity and will.
Snake breathed, and breathed again, paused, and repeated, until Mist caught the rhythm and continued it unaided.
Snake sat back on her heels. “I think she’ll be all right,” she said. “I hope she will.” She brushed the back of her hand across her forehead. The touch sparked pain: she jerked her hand down and agony slid along her bones, up her arm, across her shoulder, through her chest, enveloping her heart. Her balance turned on its edge. She fell, tried to catch herself but moved too slowly, fought nausea and vertigo and almost succeeded, until the pull of the earth seemed to slip away and she was lost in darkness with nothing to take a bearing by.
She felt sand where it had scraped her cheek and her palms, but it was soft. “Snake, can I let go?” She thought the question must be for someone else, while at the same time she knew there was no one else to answer it, no one else to reply to her name. She felt hands on her, and they were gentle; she wanted to respond to them, but she was too tired. She needed sleep more, so she pushed them away. But they held her head and put dry leather to her lips and poured water into her throat. She coughed and choked and spat it out.
She pushed herself up on one elbow. As her sight cleared, she realized she was shaking. She felt the way she had the first time she was snake-bit, before her immunities had completely developed. The young man knelt over her, his water flask in his hand. Mist, beyond him, crawled toward the darkness. Snake forgot the throbbing pain. “Mist!” She slapped the ground.