“Is that really how you want to live the rest of your life, Jayden?” he asked quietly.
I narrowed my eyes and glared at him suspiciously. “No, William, I don’t, but I don’t have much of a choice now, do I? Why do you even care? What are you doing here? What do you want from me?”
He sighed and set his cup on the counter beside him. “I’m trying to save my family, Jayden, and unfortunately I need your help to do it,” he admitted.
I stepped away from him and laughed sharply. I looked to Antonio who was watching everything with keen interest. Nathan had already left to watch for Nicholas while I was in the bathroom. I shook my head in frustration. Nothing made any sense to me today. Not William. Not Feds standing around drinking coffee in my kitchen. Not my life. Not a damn thing. I turned on William, letting my anger fly.
“Your grandfather gave my mother to my father when she was just a young girl like she was a piece of property and had no value as a human being. I remember my father used to beat her if she even looked at him wrong! Your brother kidnapped me, threatened me, and tricked me into marrying him. Why would I want to help you?”
He stared down at the floor as if weighing his next words and let the silence stretch between us. “I appreciate you spending time with Gracie. It’s good for her to take her mind off things. I don’t want her to stress or worry, but I can’t always take her with me.”
His change of topic threw me off. “I enjoy visiting with her. She has a wicked sense of humor.
Honestly, it surprised me,” I admitted cautiously.
“Yes, she does. She gets me with it all the time.” He smiled and his entire demeanor changed. For a moment I saw all the love he felt for his wife and he was a different person. “It’s what first drew me to her when we were kids.”
“Was she born here? To this?” I couldn’t stop myself from asking.
His expression hardened once again and he walked over to the coffeemaker, filling his cup again.
“Unfortunately,” he replied harshly.
“You don’t have a lot of time left,” Antonio interjected. “If you’re gonna do this, you need to do it now.”
William nodded at the reminder and turned back to me. “I need to be clear with you, Jayden. I’m not trying to save my father. Personally I hope he rots in hell. But I would like to save my brother if at all possible and your being here makes that almost impossible any longer.” At my look of confusion he huffed, clearly aggravated that he had to spell everything out for me.
“You’ve just admitted to a federal agent that my brother kidnapped you and threatened your family.
That’s a little hard to overlook in an investigation. I made a deal for immunity for my brother, which he blew by going after you.”
His voice was rising the more frustrated he became, but at least now I understood the animosity he’d shown me since arriving. Even though I wasn’t responsible for Nicholas’s actions, he still blamed me for ruining his plans.
“What I’m about to tell you must stay between us. Swear to me, Jayden, you won’t breathe a word of this to Nicholas,” he stressed. “I love my brother, but with his actions regarding you I don’t know if I can trust him. My father has already proven years ago that family means nothing to him. If he knew what I was doing to his organization he wouldn’t hesitate to kill me and possibly Grace. Or worse, send her overseas to be brutalized for the rest of her life.”
I shuddered at the picture he painted in my head of all the horrible things Richard was capable of doing to his wife and unborn child. He already didn’t like her so nothing would stop him from destroying her if he knew of his son’s betrayal.
“I swear I won’t say anything,” I whispered.
Antonio nodded and stepped forward. “William has been working with our agency for the last two years, feeding us information to gain evidence against the key players and trafficking routes in and out of the U.S. Everything is about to come to a head in the next couple of weeks. We finally have everything we need to shut down one of the largest trafficking rings in our country.”
I stared between them, processing what Antonio was telling me, when a thought occurred to me.
“What about the girls you have at the facility Nicholas told me about? Are you going to save them, too?”
Antonio’s jaw clenched in anger and William looked ashamed. “We’re trying to save the girls my family has kidnapped and sold over the years. However, once they leave here there’s no way to track what happened to them years later. All I can do is stop it from continuing. I’ve had to keep up appearances while they built their case, but every one of the girls brought to us since I took full control of the day-to-day operations has been rerouted to safety. The trainers at the facility now, as well as any girls, are actually undercover cops to keep up appearances.”
He blew out a breath and rubbed his face with his hands. “I tried to stop Nicholas from kidnapping you. I sent Antonio with him to Kansas to screw up any plans he made. I was hoping he’d get frustrated and give up.”
“Obviously he didn’t,” I smirked. I offered a half smile to Antonio. “Thanks for trying, though.”
He nodded. “I’m just sorry I couldn’t do more to stop him. It’s the part of going undercover that sucks. I could save one or I could save many. Nicholas doesn’t like me as it is and I couldn’t raise his suspicions or risk blowing my cover.”
William continued. “I thought when he brought you here he would send you straight to the facility.
We would have gotten you out and made it look like there was a mistake in paperwork and you were sent overseas by mistake or something. I didn’t count on him keeping you locked up the whole time.
The guards around the house and that watched over you in particular weren’t my men so I couldn’t even help you escape then.”
“We watched for any opportunities when you were in Austin to help you escape as well, but Nicholas hasn’t left anything to chance where you’re concerned,” Antonio explained.
“Yeah, I don’t see that happening anytime soon, either. Not after my mother’s success,” I acknowledged. I thought about everything they had told me and I reconsidered my animosity toward William. I looked between Antonio and William. “I’m still confused, though. What do you need from me?”
William looked pointedly at Antonio, who raised his hands in the air. “That’s my cue to leave. I can’t listen to this.” He walked over to put his cup in the sink and smiled. “Thanks for the coffee.” His phone rang and he answered. “Rodriguez…got it.” He looked at his watch then us. “…it’s cutting it close.” He turned off his phone and looked at William. “You have ten minutes to convince her or not.
No more.”
“I understand,” William replied.
Antonio left the kitchen, presumably to undo whatever he’d done to the security system. I turned back to William. “Well, what do you want from me?”
He took a deep breath. “When this is over I want you to say you ran away voluntarily with my brother and at no point have you been held against your will.”
My jaw dropped and I stared at him in astonishment. “Are you freaking kidding me?” I shouted. “Why would I do that?”
His expression was filled with remorse when he answered. “Because my brother loves you and on some level you care, at least a little, for him, too.” He pointed to my stomach and I covered it instinctively with my hand, earning a knowing smile from him. “And I don’t think you really want the father of your baby to rot in prison.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I snapped defensively.
He sighed. “Grace had three miscarriages before this pregnancy. This is the first time she’s made it past the first trimester. I’m very familiar with morning sickness.” He gestured to where my hand still rested protectively over my stomach. “And you’ve covered your stomach every time I said something you’ve felt threatened by.”
“That could just be nausea because of you, plain and s
imple,” I retorted.
He tipped his head in acknowledgement of my insult. “True, but it’s not. Do you know how far along you are? Does Nicholas know yet?”
I sat back down on the barstool and chewed on my thumbnail nervously, saying nothing. What could I say? I’ve suspected I was pregnant for several weeks. I lied to Nicholas and told him I’d always been irregular when he noticed I’d missed my period. I don’t know why I bothered hiding it from him. It’s not like I could hide it forever.
Or could I?
I stared at William through narrowed eyes, weighing my options. Instead of answering his questions I asked one of my own. “You said you could help me. How?”
“I know Nicholas has a warped way of showing it, but my brother does love you. He was devastated when your mother took you away. He didn’t have a lot of friends growing up. My family is involved with some of the sleaziest characters in society; it’s not like we can invite many people into our lives.
The only ones he really had were you and Daniel. After you left, he changed. He became cold and closed off.” He raised his hand to stop me from arguing when I rolled my eyes at him. “I know it’s not an excuse for what he’s done, but it does explain things. I don’t think he’d have treated you this way if you never left. He cared about you too much to ever voluntarily hurt you. Am I wrong about that?” He paused, waiting for me to acknowledge the truth of his words.
I huffed, not wanting to agree with anything he said so I turned to stare at the wall, not willing to look into his knowing eyes. The unwanted memory of standing in Nicholas’s dark bedroom, clutching my bear and crying while he reassured me and changed the sheets on my bed so no evidence was left behind of my accident came to mind. When he was done, he’d give me clean pajamas and tuck me into his bed, telling me stories until I fell asleep. He never got mad, made fun of me or told. It was our secret. “No, you’re not wrong,” I admitted softly.
“Jayden, he made you a prisoner because he fears losing you again,” he explained. “When your mother took you away he went nuts.”
“Why, because his kitten got away?” I sneered, hiding behind my fear and anger. It was a safer than letting his words sink their claws into my heart any further. My past with Nicholas was the part of me that worked to accept my life now. I couldn’t give it anymore ammunition. I used my thumbnail to trace the veins in the granite counter for distraction.
“No, Jayden. He was worried because he wasn’t there to comfort you at night. He worried about how you would get through your nightmares without him.” He spoke calmly, but his tone still scolded me for scoffing at his brother’s concern.
I angrily brushed away the tears that threatened to spill over and swallowed the lump in my throat.
“That doesn’t tell me how you can help me,” I pressed. I couldn’t let myself be swayed by any feelings of sympathy for what Nicholas felt as a child. If I did, then I would give in yet again. I had someone else to think of now.
He handed me a napkin from the holder on the counter beside the coffeemaker. “Thanks,” I mumbled.
I accepted it grudgingly and used it to wipe my eyes and blow my nose.
“I’m getting to that. I’m sure once everything is over and he’s away from the influence of our father and this life, he’ll begin to see this isn’t the way to live. I can talk to him and convince him to let you have more freedoms.” He waved his hand in the air indicating the cameras in the room. “I’m sure in time we can convince him to get rid of all this and give you a normal life. Isn’t that what you want?”
I thought about what he was offering and weighed my options. What he offered wasn’t nearly enough.
I shook my head. “No, that isn’t what I want. I want my freedom. I want my family, William. I want my mom. I’m married to a man I didn’t choose. I did everything right in school so I could have a future and Nicholas took all that away from me. Give me that and I’ll say whatever you want.”
“Do you really hate him, Jayden, or are you just refusing to try because of what he’s done? Would you really hurt him by leaving him again and taking away his child?”
“I’m not pregnant,” I snapped. My anxiety began rising again, knowing I had to get him off the topic of me being pregnant. “Maybe if he’d introduced himself to me last summer and talked to me like a normal person I would have given him a chance. I don’t blame him for what happened before. He wasn’t responsible for me being here and he did his best to protect me and make me feel safe.” I stood and began pacing the room, my agitation making it impossible to sit any longer. “I do blame him for what he’s done to me now.”
I sighed and stared at the ceiling trying to weigh my feelings between my head and my heart and what I truly wanted. I didn’t want my baby to grow up knowing its father was in prison and that I had put him there, but I didn’t want to be a prisoner any longer, either. I hated Nicholas for what he’d done. I wasn’t lying though. If I’d met him under normal circumstances I would have given him a chance.
But we hadn’t. He kidnapped me. I had to ignore the part of me that had started to feel something for him. I didn’t understand those feelings and I couldn’t trust them. They scared the hell out of me. I had to get out before they took over and I was lost forever.
“I want out, William. I want my family back.”
He groaned and rubbed his neck in agitation. “I can’t promise you that. Nicholas won’t let you go, especially if you’re pregnant. Please be reasonable,” he implored. He looked down at his watch. “He’s going to be here any minute. What do you want the most, Jayden? Give me something to work with here.”
I thought about our fight just this morning. I hadn’t fought for freedom and if I could ignore everything leading up to my marriage, he hadn’t been horrible to me since then, either. I did enjoy our evenings rocking on my porch swing or curled up in front of the large rock fireplace in the living room listening to him talk about the people he dealt with during the day and the funny exaggerated descriptions he used. It was almost like the stories he used to make up to entertain me when I was little. When I was angry, he let me yell and I’d recently come to realize I wasn’t afraid of him anymore. We had fallen into a comfortable coexistence that I had begun to accept, but I knew my complacency was dangerous. I was becoming the mindless drone I feared I would. If I lost myself completely then would I still have the strength to fight for my baby?
I needed an anchor in reality before I was lost and there was only one person who could save me. I would say whatever he wanted but only if I got what I wanted in return.
“I want to go home,” I stated firmly, shaking my head. “I won’t raise a baby on maybes and wishful thinking and that’s all you can give me.” I pushed away from the island. “I’m sorry, William. I promise I won’t say anything that jeopardizes Katherine or Grace, but if you can’t help me then I’ll find someone who can.”
I turned away and walked quickly to the front door, mindful that Nicholas would be here soon and who knew when I’d get another opportunity? I opened the door only to have it slam again. I turned to glare at William, whose hand was against the door.
“You need to reconsider,” he growled slowly, looming over me. His threat was loud and clear. I didn’t know how far he’d go to force me, but knowing federal agents were standing just outside the door gave me courage.
“I want to know why they never found me. Tell me that much. It doesn’t make any sense that they never came or sent the police to find me.” I paused, waiting to see if he would give me the answer I sought. When he didn’t, I said the only thing I could think of. “For all I know you’ve stopped them from coming for me so it didn’t interfere with your plans to save your family. Well, I want my family.
Let me out or you’re no better than your father.” It was a cheap shot and I knew it. William was trying to save his family and put an end to everyone’s nightmare, but I had my own family, my baby, to think of.
His jaw clenched tightly and I could see t
he vein in his neck standing out as he fought for control, but he dropped his hand anyway.
I quickly opened the door before he changed his mind and stepped out onto the porch. I looked both ways, spying Antonio propped against the pillar at the end of the porch watching the driveway, and began walking toward him. I heard the familiar sound of Nicholas’s truck coming up the drive and knew I only had seconds to make my demands.
“They think you’re dead,” William blurted out behind me.
He grabbed my arm and spun me around to face him. I stared up at him in horror, trying to process what he was telling me. I didn’t want to believe him, but I knew it was true. It was the only thing that made sense. My mother would have immediately suspected their family of my disappearance no matter how many years we’d been free. Nothing would have prevented her from finding me. She risked her life to save me before and she would have done it again. I was ashamed that I had begun to doubt her.
“No!” I screamed, shaking my head back and forth in denial. Pain tore through my chest and I used my free hand to slap him, causing his head to snap back. “How dare you!”
“Listen to me!” He grabbed both my arms, shaking me, causing my head to snap back painfully on my neck. I cried out from the pain in my neck and arms where he gripped me, vaguely registering the sound of tires screeching to a halt.
“What the hell are you doing? Get your hands off her!” Nicholas shouted.
I heard his boots pounding on the ground as he ran to protect me.
“Nicholas-” William began, only to be stopped when Nicholas’s fist met his jaw.
The Darkness of Perfection Page 19