He led her to the sofa and drew her close to his chest. “I couldn’t have gotten through the evening without you.”
“I feel the same way. I thought my heart would stop when those curtains opened. He’s a natural though. Told me that he likes bein’ on the stage.”
“Just like Adam. That guy could deliver an inspirational speech that would fire up the whole team. I want him to know his father, so I’m going to make him a picture album with pictures that I have of the team. It’ll be something he can go back to when he’s feelin’ like all the other kids have more than he does. He’ll have a real hero for a daddy.”
Kasey tiptoed and cupped his face in her hands. “You’re the sweetest man in the whole world, Nash Lamont. Thank you.”
“You’re very welcome. Now, we’ve had enough emotion tonight. You sit right there and I’ll make a couple of cups of chocolate. Want to watch a movie before we turn in?”
“Something funny,” she said.
“I’ve got just the ticket.” He grinned. “The second Home Alone. That kid reminds me of Rustin, not in looks but in smarts.”
“Saw the first one a long time ago, but not the second one so I’m in.” She plopped down on the sofa. “Hot chocolate and a movie. Sounds like a date.”
“It can be if I can have a good night kiss when I walk you to your door.” He threw the words over his shoulder on his way to the kitchen.
“I don’t usually give out kisses on the first date.”
“Not even if I’m irresistible?”
“We’ll see,” she said.
She glanced around the room and for the first time considered what she’d do different if she did stay there indefinitely. She would get rid of the sofa, not only because it was ugly but also the springs had broken down, and when she sat down it felt as if she was falling to the floor. Poor old Nash, as big a man as he was, probably felt like he was sinking into quicksand.
Her phone rang and she quickly pulled it from her hip pocket. “What’s up, Jace? Is Emma homesick?”
“No, and it was nice to have a chance to read her a bedtime story again. Didn’t realize how much I’d missed it. I wanted to know what you told Rustin about that list. You know you can’t just marry the first man who comes along so the kids will have a father, don’t you?”
“Come on, brother, give me a little bit of credit,” she said.
“Just sayin’, that’s all,” Jace replied. “And that reminds me, are you bringing Nash to Granny’s big Christmas shindig this weekend?”
“I imagine I will. Any reason why I shouldn’t? Has Brody said something?”
“He’s comin’ around. Give him some more time,” Jace answered. “Got to go. The princess needs a glass of water.”
“You’re spoiling her.”
Jace chuckled. “Yep, and enjoyin’ every minute. I’m goin’ to get me one of those daughter things someday.”
“I’ll believe it when I see it.” Kasey giggled.
Her phone went dark and she laid it on the end table. She glanced around the room. No family pictures or personal touches anywhere. A sofa, end tables with lamps, coffee table, a rocking chair, and a recliner. Kasey had never been a hoarder but a few little changes in the house could sure add some warmth and coziness to it. Even a picture of the kids here and there would make it into a home rather than a house.
Nash put a steaming mug of chocolate in her hands. “What are you thinkin’ about? Your brow was all wrinkled up.”
“That this place has a lot of potential. The house is old but the foundation seems solid and there’s lots of good in it,” she answered truthfully.
“But?”
“It needs some pictures or bright colored throw pillows or maybe some family pictures set around here and there,” she said.
“When I was in the attic getting the Christmas stuff I found boxes and boxes of stuff that Uncle Henry must’ve packed up. They’re all labeled. I saw dozens with that word—knickknacks—written on the outside and one evidently has pink lace curtains in it. Made me think of Emma.”
“She’d probably love them.”
“If you want to put them in Emma’s room, I’ll bring them down tomorrow. And now, I’m going to put a movie in the player because we need something to laugh about.”
The antics of a small boy alone in a big city with a couple of two-bit robbers made Kasey laugh so hard that she figured if the animals and the angels could really see, they’d be giggling, too. When the movie came to an end and the little guy was taking a small ceramic bird to a homeless woman, Kasey got a fresh belief in Christmas miracles.
“I believe,” she said simply.
Nash stood up and took her hand in his. “So do I after these past days. Now darlin’, it’s past midnight. Time for me to be a gentleman and walk you to the door.”
When they were in front of her door, he put a hand on either side of her, palms flat against the wall, creating a cage. “Just five more minutes before you go inside your room. I want you to hear something.” He pulled out his phone and flipped through a few icons before he pressed a button. Then he laid the phone on a ladder-back chair sitting between the two bedroom doors and held out his hand. “May I have this dance, please?”
She put her hand in his as Tracy Byrd began to sing “The Keeper of the Stars.” The lyrics said that it wasn’t an accident that he’d found her, that someone had had a hand in it long before they ever knew. Nash was smooth on his feet. His heart did double-time and he sang along when Tracy sang about soft moonlight on her face and how that it took his breath away just to look into her eyes.
She was in a beautiful bubble for five whole minutes and when the song ended, he brushed a soft kiss across her lips. “I believe every word of that song. Good night, Kasey.” He picked up his phone.
“Right now, so do I,” she whispered.
She watched him disappear into the shadows down the steps. Then she went into her room and fell backward onto the bed. Her phone pinged and she checked it, thinking that it might be her mother or Gracie.
It was a text from Nash with a link but no words. When she clicked on it, “One More Day” by Diamond Rio started to play. She listened to it, watching the lyrics roll up the whole while. She played it again as she got dressed for bed and freed her hair from the ponytail. Then she hit it again and laid it on the pillow beside her head.
“You, Nash Lamont, might be an introvert, but darlin’, you’re a hopeless romantic and I love that about you,” she said as she shut her eyes and hummed the melody from the song.
Chapter Eighteen
It had been a strange week on Texas Star, mundanely routine since the school program but with an underlying tension that Kasey couldn’t wrap her mind around. Just when she thought Nash might be coming out of his shell, he did a 180-degree turn. No sweet songs on the phone. No little moments that made her heart flutter. And he stayed out of the house so much that she only saw him at meals and a couple of hours in the evening—but then he was involved with the children.
She’d been raised on a ranch, so she knew that was the way things were most of the time. Her dad hadn’t spent much time inside, and when he did, he was usually in his little office taking care of ranch business.
On Wednesday Lila offered to keep the two young kids while Kasey drove Nash to his therapist appointment. Kasey could have written all the words that Nash said on the way to the doctor’s office on a postage stamp. He put on a Blake Shelton CD, leaned the seat back, and shut his eyes. She might have thought he was asleep, but he kept time to the music with his thumb on his thigh.
When they arrived, he didn’t ask her to go in with him so she sat in the waiting room for half an hour and leafed through year-old magazines. She’d just finished with one when Dr. Paulson and Nash came out of the office. Nash sat down and the lady motioned for her to come inside.
“I wanted just a moment with you,” she said. “He’s making such good progress and you deserve most of the credit.”
�
�Today I feel like he’s taken six steps backward instead of one tiny baby step forward,” Kasey said.
“Oh, no, honey, he’s dealing with things and talking nonstop to me. That’s amazing. I want to see him in one month, but if you need me sooner, just call and I’ll make time for him,” she said.
“What’d she want with you?” Nash asked when they were on their way out of the building.
“To tell me that you’re doing very well. You might get that clearance if you ever want to go back into the service,” she answered.
“She said that?” he asked.
“No, but it seems like things are movin’ that way,” Kasey said.
The only difference in the drive home was that he listened to an Alan Jackson CD. He didn’t even go through the house but made an excuse that he needed to check on the sheep and went out there.
To top off the crazy week, Emma and Silas were total brats on Friday when Kasey was trying to get them ready to go with her and Nash to his doctor’s appointment. Any other time, he’d have helped her with the kids. But that day he’d been in his bedroom for the last hour. How long did it take a man to get ready, for God’s sake? He’d taken a shower and shaved before he disappeared behind the closed door. All he had to do was put on clean clothes and boots.
Emma crossed her arms over her chest and shook her head so hard that her braids slapped her in the face. “No shots!”
“I told you, Nash is going to see the doctor, not you.” Kasey jerked a sweater down over her head.
Emma uncrossed her arms but stomped her foot. “I want to stay with Grandma.”
“Your grandmother has to be at the church to help with the program stuff today and you can’t go with her.”
“Then Nana’s?” Emma glared at Kasey.
“Nanma, yes!” Silas yelled and danced around in his pajamas.
“Nana is at the church, too.”
Silas stopped and fell down on the floor. “No!”
Emma dropped to her knees beside him.
Kasey backed up and sat down on a ladder-back chair beside the hall tree. “We are leaving in ten minutes and if you’re not ready then you won’t go to any grandma’s house for two whole weeks. It’s your decision.”
“Lila’s?” Emma’s tone had softened.
“Not Lila’s either, and there might not be ice cream for two whole weeks. And there’s a possibility that you won’t get to play with your dogs or to make a snowman later on. The weatherman says we’re going to have a nice white Christmas so I guess Rustin and Nash will make the snowman and you’ll have to watch from the window.”
Emma sighed.
Silas got up off the floor, tugging at his pajama top. “Me’s ready.”
“Emma?”
“Can I wear my pink tutu?”
“Too cold,” Kasey said as she removed Silas’s pajamas, changed his diaper, and redressed him. “Besides, it wouldn’t match your sweater.”
She growled.
“One more of those noises and we won’t be stopping at the café for burgers after the doctor’s appointment.”
“Sorry, Mama.” Her chin dropped to her chest. “I’ll be good. Can we have ice cream at the café?”
“We’ll have to see about that.”
Finally, Silas was dressed except for his coat and hat, but Emma was only wearing panties and a sweater. Kasey held out a pair of bright green leggings and Emma shook her head.
“We are not negotiating, young lady. Five more minutes until we have to walk out the door.”
With a long dramatic sigh, Emma stuck out a foot. “Boots?”
“That’s fine,” Kasey growled.
“Mommy howlded.” Silas giggled.
“I did not,” Kasey protested as she pulled Emma’s hair up into a ponytail.
Emma wiggled. “Ouch! Grandma don’t pull.”
“Grandma deals with angels. I work with little demons,” Kasey said.
“Who’s an angel?” Nash asked as he came out into the foyer.
“Me!” Emma’s sent her most innocent smile his way.
“Me is angel!” Silas ran to him, arms raised, as usual.
“Are we all ready to go?” Nash asked as he picked Silas up. “Looks like you need a coat, buddy, and Emma, don’t you look pretty today.”
“It comes at a great price,” Kasey said.
“Your sanity?”
She quickly finished Emma’s hair. “Is gone for the next two years.”
Nash tugged Silas’s hat down over his thick blond curls and then put his coat on him. “Well, you look beautiful as usual, Miz Kasey.”
“Flattery won’t get you anywhere after the morning I’ve had,” she said.
He handed Emma’s coat to her. “Just statin’ facts, ma’am.”
Together they got the kids into the van, strapped into car and booster seats. Without a word between them, she slid behind the wheel and he buckled himself into the passenger’s seat. It wasn’t really raining, but a thin mist fell and froze the minute it hit the windshield. She hit the warmer for both the front and back windows and turned on the wipers, which did little but make a mess until the glass heated up.
“Mama, Silas touched me,” Emma whined.
“Me not,” Silas declared.
“Burgers at the café or home for a peanut butter sandwich and a nap and no books tonight?” Kasey noticed Nash staring at her. “Don’t you say a word.”
“Bad mornin’?”
“You have no idea.”
* * *
Nash had been on top of the world at the end of Monday night when he kissed Kasey at her bedroom door, but on Tuesday he awoke with a rock as big as a third world country in his chest. He called his mother and she reminded him that hard work usually brought him out of the dark places.
He’d gone to the barn, restacked all the hay bales and cleaned all the stalls, and put down fresh hay to get them ready for any new calves or lambs. It didn’t help so he called his grandmother that afternoon and talking to her didn’t lift his spirits either.
Wednesday wasn’t a bit better after the therapist’s visit, so he went back to the barn after chores were done and made a lean-to for the church live nativity program. Hope had said that they usually set it up under the big pecan tree in the churchyard, so he’d made a wooden star to hang above it. He painted it with some gold paint he’d found in the tack room and even found a little vial of glitter in a drawer and applied it.
On Thursday, he’d gotten up feeling worse than ever, so he’d decided to make a manger for the doll that would be used to play baby Jesus. He argued with the voices in his head as he worked that morning.
He’d shared downright hot kisses with Kasey. He’d had amazing sex with her. She’d brought him out of his shell more than anyone, including doctors and therapists. He owed it to Adam to do what he could to take care of his family, but that didn’t include kisses or sex, and the guilt had been eating on him all week.
That afternoon he was still wallowing in the heavy thoughts on the way to the doctor’s office. Kasey was driving five miles below the speed limit but then the roads were slick. Then suddenly the whole van whipped around and they were headed right back up the highway toward Happy. He grabbed the dash with both hands and looked over his shoulder to see if the kids were okay.
Kasey tapped the brakes two or three times and finally slowed enough to park on the side of the road. She had a death grip on the steering wheel and her whole body was stiff as a board when she got the van under control.
“Are they all right?” Her chin quivered and her eyes were fixed straight ahead.
“Do it a din, Mommy,” Silas said, cheerfully.
“That was fun,” Emma chimed in.
“I’d say they’re fine. Hit a slick spot, did you? Want me to take over?”
“No, not until the doctor…” Her hand went to his arm. “Did you bump your head on anything? The window, the seat belt thing up there?”
“I’m fine, Kasey. Nothing got broken or e
ven bruised.”
He shook his head in disbelief. No flashback to the way he’d driven, fishtailing back and forth through the sand with no defined roads on the day that Adam was killed. With all the adrenaline rushing through him in the terror that one of the kids might be hurt, he was surprised that he hadn’t thought of that horrible day.
“Are you sure? Unfasten your seat belt and look at them for me. I’m terrified, Nash,” she said.
He did what she asked and found two kids with big grins who looked like they’d been on an amusement park ride. “No trauma. No blood,” he reported. “But I think you should let me drive the rest of the way. You are shaking like a leaf in a whirlwind.”
“Can’t,” she whispered. “Doc hasn’t released you, and I have to get right back on the horse.” She stiffened her upper lip to keep from crying and made a U-turn in the middle of the road. “I can’t let you drive or I’ll dread getting behind the wheel with the kids in the backseat even worse next time.”
“You can go faster than thirty miles an hour,” he said.
“No, I can’t. We won’t be late. Don’t worry,” she said.
It was exactly ten thirty when Nash went up to the desk and checked in for his appointment. He didn’t even have time to sit down in the waiting room before they called him back to an examination room, where he sat for fifteen minutes before the doctor rushed inside.
“So how have you been feeling?” he asked as he sat down on one of the little round roll-about stools. “Got your memory back?”
“Feelin’ fine and my brain is functioning at full capacity, sir,” Nash answered.
“No nausea, recurring problems like vision loss or seizures?” He pecked away on a tablet without looking at Nash.
“Nothing but wishing I could drive. That’s been a pain in the butt,” Nash answered.
“Okay, let’s look at your blood pressure and check your lungs. Standard stuff, and then I’ll sign off for you to drive. You’re being honest with me, right? I could do another scan to be sure, but I hate to do them unless it’s necessary.” He snapped a cuff around Nash’s upper arm and pumped it up.
“Well, that looks good.” He made a few more taps on the tablet. “Depression, suicidal thoughts, or nightmares?”
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