by Taylor Hart
Disbelieving, she reached up and gently touched his face, absently noting his facial hair was prickly.
Zane leaned into her touch, pulling her closer and pushing his face against hers. “I’m here. I promise I’m real, and I love you.”
It all felt so surreal. It was like a movie. He was home, and it should be perfect. She cried, unable to stop her body from shaking.
Holding her tighter, he brushed a hand down her hair. “It’s okay. It’s okay. I got out and I’m fine.” He pulled back, and his eyes looked her up and down. “I’m fine, and I’m here, and I’m not leaving you again.”
Every part of her celebrated him being here. Alive. Holding her in his arms. Tears poured down her face and she let out a little laugh. “You’re here?” All she could think about was how many times she’d wished for this, longed for this. Even though it was all messed up at the moment, she felt herself getting caught up in his wake.
He smiled and covered her hand with his, pulling their hands to his chest. “I’m here.” Leaning into her, his lips met hers, sending explosions through her as he deepened the kiss.
All that existed in this moment was them. The them from sophomore year in high school, when he’d moved in next door and looked angry and broody and so attractive. The them from the cross-country team with him and Jeff. She remembered how they’d run their guts out. She remembered that one time when she’d tripped during their morning workout. Zane had come back for her, piggybacking her nearly two miles to the school. He had acted like it was nothing.
The them from prom. It had been the first time he’d kissed her, and she’d known she loved him.
The them from graduation when he’d proposed.
The them she had lost six months ago when his mother had given her that flag. She’d cried over his coffin, making a fool of herself.
She thought of that one night with Jeff, and nausea threatened to surface. It wasn’t just what had happened that made her sick. It was the fact that she had to tell him now. Shattered, she could barely think, barely breathe, barely process that her dream of him coming home had now turned into a nightmare.
Zane held her close. “I’m here,” he whispered in her ear. “It’s okay.”
She loved him. She loved him. She loved this man. The reality crashed into her. She’d slept with his best friend. She was pregnant with his best friend’s child. Tears swept down her face.
He trailed kisses down her jaw and then back to her lips. “I love you. I love you. I love you. It’s okay. It’s okay.”
She held on to him like he was life itself, and she wished she could make this moment last and the nightmare disappear. She wished she could take it all back and it could just be this. Them.
He kept talking, keeping her close, stroking a hand down her hair. “I couldn’t get out. I couldn’t leave.” He scrubbed a hand over his face like he was trying to forget. “All I knew was that I had to complete the mission and get home to you. You got me home.”
Gently, he kissed her. Just like that, she was lost. Unable to do or say anything else, she kissed him back.
His hands were on her waist, pulling her closer. Her hands reached up to touch his head. She deepened the kiss, wanting to kiss him so much and with enough intensity that she could erase everything else … except them.
She loved him. She loved him. She loved him. It was all she could think.
Pulling back, he sniffed, and she saw his tears too. “I know you wanted to wait until after college, but I just want to be with you.” He dipped his head and kissed her again, drinking from her. “Marry me.”
She kept kissing him, getting lost in him, digging her fingers into his hair and loving the way he held her like she was his.
Only, she wasn’t.
She whimpered and stopped kissing him, fighting the urge to gag. No. No. No. How had this all happened? They’d been waiting for intimacy until marriage. She’d messed it all up! Humiliation and shame roiled inside her, making her lose her tenuous control and throw up.
“Sarah.” He was right beside her, pulling her hair back, holding her. Soothing her. “You must be in shock.” He waited until she was finished before helping her up and giving her his handkerchief. He was the only man she knew who carried a handkerchief anymore.
She used it to dab at her mouth, hating herself. She couldn’t stop crying any more than she could get rid of the hollow feeling that consumed her from the inside out.
He cradled her and gently kissed her forehead. “It’s okay. I’m back now. I’m back, and I’m not leaving again. And—”
“Sarah?”
Sick with dread, she turned and saw Jeff. He’d clearly been running, and now he stopped and put his hands over his head like he would pass out. He looked pale, and his eyes moved back and forth between her and Zane.
“Jeff.” Zane grinned at him. “Hey, buddy.” He broke away from her and gave Jeff a hug.
Jeff hugged him stiffly, looking at her over his shoulder. She saw the hurt and pain in his eyes as he blinked and pulled back. “Your mom just called my mom and told her the news.”
Zane let out a laugh and put his hand up for a high five. “Yeah, it’s crazy, man. It’s good to see you.”
Jeff robotically high-fived him. His obvious attempt to act normal made the situation feel even weirder. “Are you okay?” He looked Zane up and down.
Zane went back to her, putting his arm over her shoulders. “I’m perfect.” He leaned in and brushed his lips against hers. She kissed him back and snuggled into his chest, hating that she was using him as a shield. Using him to protect her, even for just a few moments, from the truth.
“Great,” Jeff said, but she heard the angst in his voice. Even before she met his eyes, she could feel his possessive gaze.
“What’s …” Zane must have noticed the awkwardness. There was a hitch in his voice. Suddenly, Zane pulled her back, keeping his hands on her shoulders as he looked between her and Jeff.
Unable to hide anything from Zane, she met his eyes and felt shame.
Zane sucked in a quick, sharp breath. His face hardened, changing from “her Zane” to “SEAL Zane.” She’d teased him about this look he’d been using more and more. It seemed less funny now as Zane focused on her, clenching his jaw, and their eyes held.
“We’re engaged,” Jeff blurted.
Sarah’s heart welled with fury. “No, we’re not!” She glared at Jeff, who only stuck a defiant chin into the air.
Zane dropped her shoulders. “What?” He turned to Jeff.
“Yes, we are.” Jeff reached out for her.
“No.” She batted his hand away.
Zane’s face darkened with confusion and anger. “Is this true?” he asked her softly. His tone was so calm that it took her by surprise.
“Uh, I …” She couldn’t even look at him. “He asked me, but I said no.”
Jeff sidled closer. “You were dead, Zane. Things changed.”
“Don’t do this!” Sarah snarled.
Zane stepped back. “Is this what you want?”
Tears streamed down her face. “I don’t know. It’s all a mess.”
Jeff took her hand firmly. “We’re getting married.”
She yanked away from him. “Stop it!”
Zane met her eyes. The pained anger in them looked as dangerous as a twister, ready to explode and kill everything in its path.
Jeff held up his hand to block Zane. “Dude, you’ve got to listen. We thought you were dead—” He reeled back as Zane’s fist slammed into his face, knocking him to the ground.
“Oh my gosh.” Sarah’s hand flew to her mouth before she dropped down next to Jeff, who squeezed his eyes shut and moaned.
“Jeff!” She shook his shoulders and saw blood trickling from his nose.
“I need to go.” Zane took off, leaving her there with Jeff.
“Zane!” Sarah called out to him. “Come back!”
It was no use. He was already going into SEAL mode, looking determined and
unstoppable.
Jeff grunted and took her hand to pull himself up. “Just let him go.” His grasp held her in place as firmly as any chain.
Going after Zane wasn’t an option. It killed her to realize that, because he was what she wanted. All she had to do was go after him and talk to him. Unfortunately, after what she’d done, she didn’t deserve him. One bad decision had cost her everything.
Her heart was broken, never to be repaired. She burst into sobs.
Jeff’s arms surrounded her. When she tried to push him away, he held her tighter to his chest. “We have the baby to think of now.”
She felt herself give in to him. To this mess. To a future she had never wanted.
Zane efficiently packed his bag, his blood burning with betrayal. His hands shook as he folded his Navy-issued pants and shoved them into his duffel bag. He hated this part, the after-orders but not-quite-gone period of time. Luckily, when he’d made the call to let his captain know he needed to go, a team had already been coming together, and they wanted him.
This hadn’t been quite the homecoming he’d thought it would be. How did normal life, or what should have been normal life, all of a sudden feel like deployment?
Oh. Right. When he’d found out two days ago that his fiancée was engaged to his best friend, everything had changed.
Nothing seemed to matter anymore. Sure, she’d thought he was dead for six months, but it didn’t take her long to move right along. Jeff’s face flitted into his mind, and Zane wished he would have hit him harder.
Goose bumps rippled down his arms as he felt her presence hovering behind him. He’d always been able to sense her. It had been a special thing between them since high school. He stopped packing and stood still for a minute, then finally faced her.
Sarah stood in the doorway to his room. Her red hair was striking against the grey walls. Her petite body slumped against the frame, and she was biting her nails, a clear tell that she was nervous. He looked away and picked up another shirt, thinking he should have at least slammed Jeff into a wall, taken out his kidney or something.
How could he have not seen this coming? Had she been in love with Jeff in high school? Since they graduated, Zane had been leaving for months and coming back for days or weeks at a time. Now that he thought about it, all the signs had been there.
Good thing there was always another assignment on the horizon. His captain was more than happy to oblige his desire to leave. Picking up a pair of socks, he refolded them and put them carefully in his bag, needing something to distract him.
“Zane,” she said, her voice a quiet whisper. “We need to talk about this.”
He let out a puff of air. “Do we? Why don’t you go chat with your fiancé? You obviously got close with him fast. Probably like that in high school, and I just didn’t know it.”
She drifted closer. “That’s a lie.”
He suppressed the maddening desire he’d always felt to have her in his arms. He turned to her. “Sarah, if you want Jeff, that’s fine. If you want the safe life, the life where you know he’s coming back at night—if you want to be an attorney’s wife, that’s fine.” That could be the only reason she’d choose Jeff. It had to be. Jeff had joked about how she might like to be his wife instead. It had all been in jest, but clearly, Jeff had just been waiting for an opening.
She calmly took a pair of socks and, copying the way he was folding them, slipped them into his suitcase. “I thought I’d be doing this forever.”
It was stupid, but during all the times he’d left this past year, he’d always imagined that one day this would be their life. Married. She would be helping him fold his clothes. She would hold him around the waist like she’d done the night before he’d left the last time. She would refuse to let go, and he’d have to pack with her attached to him. The memory made him feel vulnerable, and he felt tears in his eyes. It didn’t help that she was wearing that irresistible scent—vanilla or daisies or something in a bottle with a flower on it. He loved that scent. It was her.
He couldn’t stop himself; he had to get answers. Without thinking, he took her hand. “Sarah, I know I was dead. I realize things can change.” His other hand pinched the bridge of his nose. Was he really doing this? Emotion swelled in his chest. “But I know you love me. I know we can fix this.” He shook his head. “You can’t marry him.”
Sarah’s expression soured into a grimace. “You don’t understand.”
He brushed her hair out of her eyes. “I don’t care.” And he really didn’t, he realized. “Obviously—” He swallowed, hating the images of those two and the possibilities that had been swimming in his mind the last two days. Every run, every push-up, all he could see was them. He just wanted her. “Thinking of you got me home, Sarah, thinking of all that we were. I just don’t believe that it’s over. I can’t.”
She let out a soft cry.
He gently put a hand to her face. “I still want us. I still need us. The past two days I’ve been pissed off, and it’s been humbling.” He let out a light sigh. “The fact remains that I can’t see a future without you in it.”
Her face clouded, and she shook her head. “I messed up.”
He resisted the urge to pull away and punch a hole into the wall. What good would that do for him? He had been dead. Even though he didn’t understand it, he had been dead. “I don’t know what happened between you two.” He could imagine plenty, though, and he hated it. “I know you thought I was gone.”
She blinked and bit her lip, and he felt her shaking.
“What happened?” He searched her eyes and knew, despite his heartache, that she loved him too.
“I can’t …” She broke off.
“Pick me, Sarah.” He felt like a teenager again, begging her to go to prom with him. “I have no pride where you are concerned, woman. I love you.” He squeezed her hand tighter and felt like he would break if she wouldn’t promise herself to him right now.
She shook her head. “I can’t. We can’t be together.”
“Why, Sarah? Why? You feel this. You do. You’re going to stand here and tell me that you want him?” He swallowed, feeling pitiful. “That you want him over me? I know that’s not true. You know it’s not true, and—”
“I’m pregnant.”
The simple words sliced into his chest like a dagger. “What?”
Tears swam in her eyes as she stared at him. “I’m so sorry.”
He turned away from her, trying to process this new information. Trying to process that the woman he thought he might be able to forgive had now become unforgivable.
There was no going back from this.
She tried to take his hand. “It was a little over a month ago. I saw him when I was out with my friends. I saw him, and we started talking. Started remembering. We had both been grieving and drinking, and it was only one night.” She moved in front of him and held up a finger. “One stupid night.” Her voice shook.
Yanking his hand away, he commanded himself to be calm, ask the right questions. “How far along are you?”
“A little over a month.”
Letting out a frustrated breath, he said, “I’m having a hard time processing this.”
“I messed up. You were dead.” Her words sounded despairing. “Do you get that? You were dead!”
He saw the pain on her face, felt his own anger bubble to the surface. No matter how much training he had to handle volatile situations, this was a Sarah situation. “So now what?” He threw his hands up.
“I don’t know. Do you really think I don’t love you?”
He clenched his hand into a fist and turned away from her, unable to even look at her. To think of another man’s hands on her, to think of Jeff … “We waited for nothing,” he said softly.
She didn’t respond.
A hurricane of thoughts whirled through his mind. “You and I have waited for years. Yet you couldn’t wait until I was dead and buried five months before you let him get in your bed?” He regretted the words
the instant they were out.
She slapped him hard across the face. “How dare you!”
The slap stunned him, but couldn’t wake him from this nightmare. “How dare you?” he whispered. Their breath mingled, and the tears on her face wrenched his heart.
He turned away from her and looked out the side window. Emptiness filled the cavity of his chest. It was such a stark contrast to the warmth and love he’d had for her. It felt like a sucker punch. He put his hand to his heart and wondered how he would do this next assignment without her. Without knowing he had her to come home to. “Go.”
“I know you hate me, but I didn’t just ‘let him in my bed.’” She let out a sob of pain and whispered fiercely, “I love you.”
“Just go.”
Her footsteps echoed through his mother’s living room, hard and fast as she got to the front door and pulled it open. Then she was gone.
Tears dripped down his cheeks as he held on to the dog tags in his hands. “I love you too,” he whispered, watching her get into her car and pull away.
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The Redeemed Groom: Bachelor Billionaire Romances: The Legendary Kent Brothers
Sloane Kent ran hard along the outskirts of Jackson, Wyoming, pushing himself. The sun was going down, and country music blasted through his ears. Ironically, it wasn’t his music. No, he’d been blocked in the creative process for more than half a year. He’d come to Jackson for the express purpose of getting some fresh ideas for his music and laying down an album for Montana Crew.
This was the country mogul’s thing—send his artists to Jackson to get the words out.
Hey, it’d worked for Texas Waters.
Too bad he wasn’t Waters, Sloane thought angrily, thinking how he was supposed to share the stage with him in Vegas in three months. The only problem was that they were supposed to have new albums. Which meant new songs. Most artists shopped around, found songs they liked, and took them into the studio. Not Sloane. He liked to write his own music; he prided himself on it. It just hadn’t been going well lately. Or rather, it hadn’t been going at all.