by Brandy Ayers
“Why should I? According to your friends, you lied about everything. You weren’t a virgin. You just wanted the money and got them to lie for you too.” Sierra looks down at her lap, where the blankets are pooled around her waist. “I should have figured it out. No virgin could be that good his first time.”
Anger rushes through me again as I remember what that asshole said to her in the parking lot. It took a lot of yelling, but they all eventually spilled what happened. Not even punching that asshole in the face made me feel any better.
“I promise, sweetheart, that guy is not my friend. He’s my business partner’s cousin. The only reason he was there was because he’s in town visiting family. I know there is no way I can prove that I was a virgin, just like you. But I swear to you, I was. Hell, I had only ever kissed two other women before I kissed you this afternoon.” Placing my hand on the window, the cold glass begins to fog up around my heated skin. I quickly remove it, not wanting to lose my view of her. “Please, seeing you out here is breaking my heart. Let me take you home.”
“No. I can take care of myself. I don’t need your pity. The check from Liza will clear my account in a couple days, and then I’ll get an apartment. I’ll be fine. We should both pretend this never happened and move on with our lives.” I can barely hear her words through the car windows, but they hit me as if she had shouted them from a bullhorn directly in my ears.
Panic like I’ve never known before beats inside my chest and veins. “Get on with our lives? You are my life. Have been since I first laid eyes on you. I don't care if you and every single one of my friends and family think I am nuts for falling in love with a girl at first sight, but I did. I will not give up. I will camp out here next to your car all night. I will camp out in every parking lot for every place you live until you listen to me. Please.” Tears are streaming down both our faces, and I know what I’m about to tell her is not going to help my case at all, but she has to know. “The check isn’t going to clear your account either. Liza isn’t paying us.”
That gets her attention. Her eyes snap to glare at me, fire burning behind them. “What, why not? We did what she asked. Was the footage not good enough?”
“No, it was perfect. I fought with her for almost an hour to get it all from her, to make sure not a single frame would show up on the internet.” Before the words are totally out of my mouth, Sierra leaps from the car, storming around the bumper and coming at me like a bull who’s had enough from a matador and coming for his blood.
“Why would you do that?” Her tiny fists are balled inside one of the many sweatshirts she’s wearing, but they still sting as she pummels my chest and arms. “I needed that money. Fuck, I earned that money. What am I going to do now?”
I wrap my arms around her, holding her close to me so she can’t get a swing in. Even through all those clothes I can tell she’s still freezing, and I hold her even tighter, willing my warmth to transfer over to her. “You’re going to come home with me, and I’m going to take care of you for the rest of our lives.”
“Is that why you did this?” The venom in her voice is almost enough to make me regret everything I did this afternoon to make sure no one else would ever see the way she looked when she came undone. Almost, but not quite. “You got her to withhold my money, so I’d be forced to come live with you? What, be your live-in prostitute? Fuck. You. I’d rather sleep in my car for the rest of my life than go anywhere with you.”
She pushes and shoves at my chest, trying to get away, but there is no way in hell that is happening. Not now. Not ever. “No. I sat there and watched the footage of us kissing, of you going down on me, you in nothing but a bra and tiny shorts, and I knew I could never let another person see that. We never even got to the footage after Liza left the room. I just shut it down before they ever saw you naked. I’m the only one who should ever have the privilege of seeing that side of you.”
The fight is slowly seeping out of her as I speak, but she refuses to look at me. I don't know if she’s lost all hope or is going into some weird emotional shock after everything that has happened today, but it looks like she is just totally checking out. Not knowing what to do, how to reach her, I fall to my knees, wrapping my arms around her hips, I press my face into her belly, letting my tears fall unchecked.
“At first, she didn't want to. But then I told her we’d both forfeit our paychecks and I’d give her ten thousand dollars to pay for the production costs that day. She still hesitated, but I convinced her. Well, offering more money did actually.”
Sierra gasps, and she grabs my ears, tilting my head back to look at her. “Where did you get that kind of money to give her when you needed that money to save your business?”
“George and I took on another partner. I sold part of my stake in the brewery to a friend of ours for fifty thousand dollars. Twenty went to Liza. Twenty is going to repairs and upgrades so we can keep our doors open. Ten is going to you since I killed any chance of your getting paid today.” Dave was all too happy to give me the money in exchange for an equal share in the business. I dread what he’s going to want to do with the place in the coming months, but any stupid viral marketing campaign is better than the world seeing my Sierra in a way that only I should.
“You sold half your business so that a video of me having sex wouldn’t get posted to the internet?” Her eyes are wide with disbelief, tears shimmering on the edge of her lower eyelid.
“Sierra, I would sell the entire business if it meant keeping you safe. I would sell every single thing I own. Tell me what you need, what you want. I’ll do everything I can to provide it.” I could see the indecision in her eyes. Should she trust me? Was this all moving too fast? What should she do?
I’ve only known Sierra for a day, and I already know she’s logical to a fault. And what is happening here between us is anything but logical. I don't even totally understand it myself. The difference is I’m not fighting it. I gave into the insane pull to have her the minute I saw her.
“This can’t be real. Things like this don't happen in real life.” Sierra releases the sides of my head, raking her fingers through her hair and going to turn around.
I stop her with my hands on her hips. “It is real. Science makes sense to you, right? It is part of why you want to be a doctor?”
She nodded, though the hesitance in her eyes remains.
“This is chemistry, at least in part. It’s dopamine and testosterone and pheromones. It’s the same with brewing. Put the exact right chemicals and conditions together, and you make something remarkable. For some reason, we both have the exact right amounts of everything to make us a perfect match. Instantly.” I had her, I could see it in her eyes. Something had snapped into place behind her eyes. What I was saying made sense to her. I rushed on, not wanting to lose her. “But chemistry only gets us so far, right? We’ll have to put work in. It won’t always be easy. Nothing ever is. And right now, I need you to do something I’m guessing doesn’t come easy to you. I need you to trust me.”
The small smile that curves the corners of her lips is the second best thing I’ve ever seen in my life. The first being her face in the moment she came.
“You should have been a lawyer.” Her delicate fingers weave the through my hair, scratching at my scalp a little. I lean in to the contact, loving any bit of affection she’s willing to throw my way. “Hell, if you talked Liza into giving you those files, I’m pretty sure you could talk anyone into anything. Me included.”
“So you’ll come home with me? Let me take care of you?”
“I’ll come home with you for tonight. Just until I get on my feet. And I’m not taking that ten thousand dollars.” Sierra reached down to grab my hand, tugging me to my feet.
“Absolutely. Just until you get on your feet.” Or forever. Whatever.
Epilogue One
Six Months Later
Sierra
I should have known better.
The guys grunt and groan as they move the huge armoire
up to the loft above the brewery. The loft where Simon and I have been living together since that first night. I kept saying I’d find my own place as soon as I saved some money up. Then as soon as I finished my classes. Then before med school started. But here we are. I graduated four months ago, started med school a month ago, and still living with the man I starred in a porn with.
I should have known he wouldn’t let me go, and that I would never want to go anywhere else.
Officially, we’ve been living together three days. I finally broke down and said yes to moving in after he brought me breakfast in bed, followed by three screaming orgasms. What really did it though, the big teddy bear that is my Simon went back to my old apartment building where MeMaw and I lived before she died and found where all the furniture I’d been forced to leave behind since I had no place of my own and none of it would fit in the dorms. The landlord said he kept meaning to sell it all off, but hadn’t gotten around to it, so instead, it had all just been sitting in the basement of the building. Now Simon and his business partners were moving it all into the loft.
Warmth fills my chest. Having her things, the heirlooms and furniture she loved, all around me is like getting a piece of her back. I always felt at home in the loft, from the very first minute I walked in. Maybe because it is one hundred percent Simon, and no matter where we are, he makes me feel like I’m home.
“Okay guys, can you put that over there, where Simon used to have the TV set up on the pile of old pallets.” I step back, watching them maneuver the huge wood cabinet into place.
“Hey, that was a handmade, DIY, upcycled pallet table.” Simon winks at me as he lowers the monstrous piece of furniture. “But, I suppose this does look better.”
After everything is in place, Simon comes over and slings his arm around my shoulders, pulling me in to lay a kiss on the top of my head.
“You owe me twenty bucks.” Dave high fives George, and they both start laughing.
“What the hell are you guys talking about now?” Simon scowls at his business partners. The three of them are the best of friends, but I’ve seen them get into some pretty serious arguments when there is a difference of opinions with brewery business.
“We had a bet going about how long it would take for you two to get all lovey dovey. I said you’d be hugging and kissing between every load we dropped off. He said you’d wait until we were done but wouldn’t be able to wait until we left.” George comes over, punching Simon in the arm. “Can’t believe you restrained yourself enough for me to lose.”
George shakes his head while he digs out his wallet and slaps a twenty into Dave’s hand.
“You guys are idiots. Get out of my apartment.” Simon is still trying to hold his scowl, but I can see the tale-tell curving at the corners of his lips that tells me he’s holding back a laugh.
I laugh and wrap my hands around Simon’s waist. How did my life go from sleeping in my car and sometimes going weeks without smiling, to having a life so full, I feel the happiness bursting from my chest? “See you guys. Be good.”
I’ll never be able to thank those guys enough for being cool after the strange way we all met. It would be easy for them to use the whole meeting on a porn set thing in their nonstop teasing of each other, but they never have. I’ve never felt anything but welcome and respected by them, and I appreciate it more than they know. Simon hasn’t allowed George’s cousin within a mile of me since the night I ran, and I have a feeling I’ll never see the man again.
Once we’re alone again, I tilt my head back to look at my big, possessive bear of a man. He is so perfect, I sometimes think I’m dreaming and will wake up at any moment in my nest of blankets and sweaters in my backseat. But his solid body pressed up against me, and his spice and testosterone scent reassures me that this really is my life.
“Thank you for all of this. I don't know what I’d do without you.” I go up on my tippy toes, inviting him to kiss me, but he’s so tall, I have to wait for him to come down to me. Which he does, eagerly.
After a slow, sensual kiss, he pulls back to gaze at me with that loving look in his eyes that he’s had since the day we met. “You know I’d do anything for you. But I think we both know you would have been just fine without me. You are so strong and intelligent, you didn’t need me to save you, but I’ll always be grateful you let me help.”
I refuse to be a kept woman, so after coming to stay with Simon, I started working in the bar, giving him all my tips as rent. Which he refused to take. They are all still sitting in a huge jar in the hall closet. Now, I secretly think of it as our honeymoon fund. Though marriage isn’t something either of us have brought up yet.
After kissing for a few more minutes, I walk over to the huge armoire, opening the doors to reveal the empty inside, and the two drawers at the bottom. I kneel down and pull on them, happy to see they are both still locked, and the landlord either didn’t try or wasn't able to get them open. I pull my keys from the back pocket of my jeans and go right to the big old fashioned key that Simon has always asked about.
“So this is what that key goes to?” He comes over, slumping onto the floor next to me as I unlock the big drawer and pull it open.
“Yup. The landlord changed the locks on me before I could get back into the apartment to pull all this out. Actually, the prospect of losing all this was more devastating to me than having to sleep in my car for months on end.” I pull out photo album after photo album, all filled with photos of all the babies and moms my grandmother helped during delivery. MeMaw loved all her patients and kept photos of as many as she could. There are eight albums altogether, each one holding almost two hundred pictures. That is a lot of babies. “Once I become a doctor, I’m going to start where she left off.” I flip to the end of the last album, it’s only half full, lots of empty pages for me to start filling up.
“This is so cool.” Simon rests his chin on my shoulder, looking at all the pictures with me. A tear rolls down my cheek, but not out of sadness. These are tears of pure joy. Yes, I miss my MeMaw like crazy, but the love of my life brought her back to me.
“Wait, wait, wait. Go back.” Simon’s head pops up, and he leans a little closer to get a better look as I flip back to the page before. “Holy shit. That’s me.”
“What? Shut up you’re crazy.” I shake my head and laugh, starting to go back to flipping through the pages. Before I can, he puts his big hand down on the page, pointing to a faded picture with a beautiful, red haired woman holding a chubby baby in her arms, a huge smile spread across her face. I recognize that smile. I get to see it every morning. “That’s impossible.”
“I swear, that same picture is framed on my mom’s desk at her office.” Simon whips out his phone, texting his mother a picture of the photo. I love his mom. She is a remarkable woman. She immigrated from Ireland five years before Simon was born and worked as a maid to put herself through school to be a paralegal. She met her husband at the courthouse when they were on opposite sides of the same case. Now they have their own mediating firm.
Almost as soon as Simon sends the photo, his phone starts ringing. Putting it on speaker phone, he looks at me with wide eyes. “Simon, where are you? I’m looking at that picture on my desk, and I know you aren't here.”
As Simon explains to her how we found the picture, I stare down at the little baby in the photo. Is that what our children will look like? Even as a baby, he looked robust.
“Oh my gosh. Sierra, I never put together the dots. I met your grandmother while I was working a domestic abuse case for one of her other clients. I was pregnant with Simon, and somehow, during one of my interviews with her, I told her how I had panic attacks every time I came near a hospital. I always hated them. She offered to be my midwife, and I took her up on it.” Tears are apparent in the choked-up voice echoing out from the phone sitting between us on the floor.
“This is incredible.” I reach into the drawer and pull out the framed photo of my MeMaw holding me as a baby, in the exact same rock
ing chair Simon’s mom held him. Taking his photo out of the album, I lie them side by side. Tears are streaming down my face unchecked. “You met my MeMaw.”
True, he was an infant, but just knowing that she helped bring into the world the man I would eventually fall in love with is completely blowing my mind. It feels like fate. Like every awful thing that happened to get us both to such a level of desperation to agree to film a porn video of our first times was all worth it.
“Mom, we have to go. See you this weekend for dinner.” We all say our goodbyes and then sit in stunned silence as we absorb the last twenty minutes or so. “I think we should put these albums on the bookshelf. They should be out for you to see every day. Not hidden in a drawer. He starts pulling the albums out, stacking one of top of the other.
Something heavy hits the floor as he pulls the last one out, and I look down to see a small wooden box, no bigger than two inches tall. “What’s that?”
Simon picks the box up and slides the top off, looking inside. “Well if that isn’t sign, I don’t know what is.”
“What is it?” I stand, cradling the album where we found his photo in my arms. I know I have an empty picture frame somewhere that I can put his baby photo in. I want to put it on the dresser in our room right next to the framed photo of MeMaw and I.
When I glance back down at Simon, he's on one knee, holding the box in one hand, and my grandmother’s ring in the other. The ring I thought she had lost forever. I remember being twelve and tearing apart the apartment looking for it. My grandfather died when my mom was five, and MeMaw had been devastated she lost the ring he gave to her, saved every paycheck from the Army for years to afford.
“I think your MeMaw is trying to tell us something. And I agree one hundred percent. I know this is fast, and that we’ve only known each other for six months. But I knew in six seconds I wanted forever with you. Marry me, Sierra.” Determination and love fill his eyes, and I can’t imagine a world in which I could ever say no to this man.