“You could use a pedicure,” James pointed at the chipped polish on my toes.
“Shut up! Like I’ve had a chance to go get myself primped.” I walked over to the couch, sat down and turned on the TV. I flicked the channels absentmindedly.
“I gotta stretch. That work out got me crazy tight,” I stretched my arms in front of me.
“I got you, ma. Let me flex my masseuse skills.” James walked over and placed himself behind me.
“Mmmmm.” I moaned as James went to work. His mother had attended the Swedish Institute for Massage Therapy and had practiced what she’d learned on James. He’d picked up on it easily and had used his expertise to seduce many a female.
I tensed when I felt James’s heavy breathing in my ear. He pushed my hair to the side and began to kiss the back of my neck while his hands kneaded softly. He pulled my robe down to expose my bare shoulders. I quickly put my hand to my chest, holding the front of the robe so as not to reveal my breasts. James pulled his mouth away from my neck as if sensing my hesitation. He continued to rub, making his way down my back. I jumped when I felt his tongue run up my spine and bit my bottom lip as James nibbled on the nape of my neck. He grasped my shoulder tenderly, turned me around and peered into my eyes.
“We can’t …” I began but before I could finish, he took my mouth into his, gently at first, then more forcefully as he felt me acquiesce. We stared at one another as he opened my robe to reveal my ample bust.
He kneeled in front of me and took my breasts into his mouth. I cupped James’s face and ran my hands over his head. I traced the back of his ears as I watched him, each lick and nibble purposely gradual and subtle. James brought his face to mine and lined my cheekbone and forehead with kisses. He teased my mouth with his and laid me down as our tongues tussled heatedly. He began to grind against me, pulling my legs up around his waist.
I quivered with pleasure as James lined my ribs and abs with open mouth kisses. I stared at the ceiling in disbelief and excitement. I can’t believe this is happening, I contemplated silently. But he definitely knew what he was doing. I gasped when I felt him suckle my clitoris. I hadn’t even felt him push my robe aside.
I pushed myself up with a forceful jolt, catching James’s arm before he fell off the couch. My eyes beseeched him. “I’m sorry, pa. I just can’t. We can’t...”
“It’s alright.” James put his hand over his crotch trying to hide his hard-on. “I’m sorry…I shouldn’t have …”
“It wasn’t just you. It’s not like I put up a violent struggle. I just… I would never want anything to get in the way of our friendship, James. If we went there and it didn’t work out and I lost you, I don’t know what I’d do. Please understand.”
“I do. I know … My bad,” he said dejected.
“I have to get ready for class.” I stood up and tied my robe tightly. “Another month and a half and we’ll be walking across that stage.”
“I’ll walk you to class.” He got up and stood in front of me. “I’m really sorry. I’m not tryin’ to take advantage of you, India. I know you’re vulnerable and all… I just… I couldn’t help myself.”
“It’s all good. You’re a great kisser.” I poked him in the ribs. “Now I see how you got all these CU chicks crazy.” I walked towards the bedroom.
“I love you,” James said almost inaudibly. It wasn’t the friendship ‘I love you’s’ we’d always give one another. This was a heartfelt I’m in love with you “I love you.”
I whipped around. “What’d you say?”
“Nothin’. I mean, I said I love you.” He changed his tone.
“Oh, I love you too, pa.” I walked over and hugged him tight.
As I was changing my clothes, I wondered if I had heard what I thought I’d heard. “Nah, there’s no way … Great, another sign that I’m going insane!”
When James dropped me off in front of Hamilton Hall, I stared at him as he walked away. When he glanced back, I saw this gloomy, rejected look that I’d only seen on James’s face once before - when his girlfriend of four years had suddenly broken it off.
20
The next two weeks crawled by at snail’s pace. I went to class and walked back home as I had for the past month. I hit the gym religiously, trying to keep my mind occupied and off of Fabian’s continued silence.
One day after working out, James and I walked back home quietly. We had thus far deliberately avoided the topic of our encounter. I noticed a change in the way he treated me. He still walked me to and from class and joined me at the gym but he had clearly distanced himself. He barely spoke to me except to periodically ask if I’d heard from Fabian or if I’d noticed anything irregular.
As we walked by the law school, I noticed a black Land Rover parked in front of the Wien Gates. I could just make out a figure through the darkly tinted windows. Wide, stocky shoulders made the driver appear to be a male but I couldn’t be sure. As we got closer, the car screeched off, made a U-turn and stopped at the red light on Morningside Drive. I bolted down the block after the car. My instincts told me there was something ominous about the way the car tried to evade me, but the light turned green before I reached the corner and the car turned north and shot up the block before I could even read its license plate.
I turned around frustrated and saw James panting as he approached. “What the fuck was that about? You ran down the block doin’ 60! What happened?” He looked flustered and out of breath.
“You need to hit the treadmill, pa. You’re slow and your lungs need the cardio,” I mocked.
“You’re right.” We stared at one another, both obviously happy that the tension had been eased for the moment. “So, what happened? What caused you to fly off like that?”
“You didn’t see the Land Rover? You didn’t see the way it sped off when we approached? It just seemed suspect. You told me to follow my instincts so I did.”
“So, did you see the driver or catch the license plate?”
“Nah,” I replied aggravated. “I didn’t see shit! The tints are too dark and the car turned before I was close enough to read the license plate.”
“You sure it’s not your nerves getting to you, ma?” James asked.
“Something tells me this is more than a case of jumpiness, pa.”
“Aight, let’s keep our eyes peeled. In the meantime, let’s go smoke an L and get some dinner. I’m starving and this monkey on my back is beating the shit out of me.” We laughed and walked arm in arm back to the dorm.
21
I stared longingly out the window as we smoked. The buzzing doorbell snapped me out of my thoughts. The smell of curry filled the room as James paid the delivery guy and walked over to me with the bag of Indian food.
“I wish we could go eat this on the South Lawn,” I said depressed. “It’s gorgeous outside.”
James stared at me then suddenly his face lit up. “How’s this? Go to the room and wait there for fifteen minutes, then take the elevator up to the last floor and wait for me outside the entrance to the stairs.”
“What are you planning in that sick head of yours?” I asked curiously.
“You’ll see.” He led me to the bedroom. “Fifteen minutes. No more, no less.”
I paced the room wondering what James was planning. I couldn’t figure it out so I sat on the bed and stared impatiently at the clock until fifteen minutes had passed. When I walked out of the room, I searched the apartment for clues but found none. I noticed that the food was gone and my stomach grumbled in consternation.
I took the elevator to the 20th floor and saw James waiting for me by the stairwell. “Ready?” he asked as I approached.
I wrinkled my nose and smirked. “This better be good.”
James led me to the roof of the dorm. My mouth fell when I saw his surprise. He’d laid out a green blanket and prepared a picnic for us. He’d even lit candles but “the damn breeze keeps turning them off,” he said discouraged.
We sat under the warm evening sun
and ate. When we were done, I rolled an L.
“I have a question. How did you get the roof doors to open without setting off the alarm?”
“Ma, I’m an engineer,” James flaunted. “It wasn’t even that difficult. Just cutting some wires and shit. No biggie.”
“Oh, so I see you’ve done this before. So how many of these CU chicks have you brought up here? I’ve heard rumors about you and your fan club,” I teased.
“Actually, you’re the first girl I’ve brought up here. I’ve come up here several times with the guys to smoke and drink but never with a female.” I looked at him doubtfully. “Nah, I’m serious. Why would I lie?”
James had one last surprise. He reached into the picnic basket and brought out a bottle of Moet champagne and a basket of strawberries. “Can’t have a picnic without the bubbly.”
I looked at him shocked. “All this for me, pa? I don’t deserve you.”
“You deserve the world, India.” He looked at me when he said this to ensure that I saw he was dead serious.
We sipped and smoked for a while in silence, soaking in the sun’s rays. I tried not to feel attracted to James. I’d been fighting these feelings for weeks but it was undeniable; there was something there. I leaned over and put a strawberry to his mouth. Our eyes locked as James took a bite and I brought my glass to his lips. “Mmmm,” he purred licking his lips. “You put me on to this.”
I saw him hesitate and wondered what was going through his mind and why he pulled away.
“Put you onto what?”
“That bourgeois shit of champagne with strawberries. That’s your shit. You the classy chick, not me.” We laughed heartily.
I realized that he just wasn’t going to open that door to me again. I exhaled deeply and lied back on the blanket. Feeling hot, I took off my fitted t-shirt and laughed at James’s ogling.
“It’s just a bra, James. No different from a bikini top.”
“Sexy bikini top,” James laughed. “Hmmm, let me see. That’s from Victoria’s angel collection, right? The embroidered bandeau style.”
I burst out laughing. “You are hilarious! Somebody’s a Victoria Secret connoisseur!”
We drank and smoked while we watched the sun set. When the stars began to dot the sky, James showed me the constellations and planets. “Unfortunately, we’re in the city so the pollution makes it impossible to see all the stars. Upstate, in the campo, you can see millions of them. Makes you realize how small you are in the grand scheme of things.” James stared up dreamily.
I watched James while he looked towards the heavens. I felt so tempted to kiss him, it was killing me but I’d lost my chance. ¡Sángana! I scolded myself silently. I got up, walked to the ledge and looked down. I felt James come up behind me. He pulled me close, put his nose to my curly hair and inhaled. I wrapped my hands around his and we rocked slowly looking at the lights of east Harlem.
“I’ve wanted you since the first day I saw you four years ago,” James whispered suddenly in my ear. I let him speak feeling that he was confessing something that he’d held in for far too long. “It was freshman orientation. You were standing in front of Butler library on line waiting to get your orientation package. You were wearing a white flowered summer dress and your hair was straight. You mesmerized me by the way you brushed it out of your face with a slight movement of your neck. You were still untainted, still innocent and naïve. That punk hadn’t broken your spirit yet. I almost tripped over myself when I saw you moving into the same floor as me in John Jay Hall. I swore it was meant to be until I saw that dick comin’ to your room every night. That’s why we didn’t meet until later. I was too glum to introduce myself.”
I turned around to look at him, “I didn’t know …”
“Shhhh,” he said putting his finger to my lips. “You know, you’re the reason Lorena left me. She could sense the way I felt about you, she would watch me watch you. She couldn’t take it and demanded that I end our friendship. When I refused, she left me.”
I was taken aback by the admission. I’d never had any idea but then again, the fact was that I’d never left myself open to the idea. I’d always been so wrapped up in Fabian that I hadn’t bothered to see what was right in front of me.
“You know I didn’t know,” I said shaking my head. “I had no idea…I …”
I didn’t bother to finish my thought. I captured the moment without hesitation, cupped his face with my hands and kissed him. We stayed at the ledge making out for what seemed like an eternity, our tongues wandering each other’s mouths as if searching for a lost pearl.
I led him to the blanket, gazing longingly at him while I did so. I took off his shirt before I laid him down and straddled him. Reaching back with one hand I unsnapped and removed my bra, then leaned forward so he could take my breasts into his mouth. I grinded him, feeling him quickly grow rigid as a roll of quarters, surprised by his size and width. Moaning, I reached down and played with myself while he suckled me. Then suddenly, he flipped me over and got on top of me. I resisted, “No…”
Again he hushed me. “I’ve been waiting for this for so long. Let me do it my way.”
He kissed my brow and ran his fingertips lightly down my abdomen, sending shivers up my spine. He unzipped my pants with his teeth, staring at me the whole time. When he took my pants off, he sucked my bikini line teasingly. He started off slow, licking my vagina inch by inch. He looked at me before he took my clit into his mouth, “You ready?” he teased.
I saw stars as James went to work. He alternately flicked his tongue on my clitoris at lightning speed then massaged it from top to bottom, always hitting the spot at the right moment. When he felt my body tensing ready to orgasm, he put his finger into me and put pressure on my G-spot, sending ripples throughout my body. I threw my head back and screamed his name. My back arched and body wriggled. I tried to pull away, the intensity too much for me, but he wrapped his arms around my legs and held on, devouring me, making me have multiple orgasms.
“Oh my God,” I shrieked.
When James finally stopped, I was dripping with sweat. We kissed longingly, then I flipped him over suddenly.
“My turn!” I arched my eyebrows mischievously.
I took his pants off and had to catch my breath when I saw his large member. “I’m impressed,” I winked, making him laugh proudly, then I straddled him. I grabbed his cock and asked, “You ready?,” as I tantalized him.
I rubbed his dick on my pussy making him moan desperately. When I took him into me, we both gasped with delight. I reached down and stimulated my clitoris while I rode him, first slowly then rigorously, enjoying the contorted expression on his face. He grabbed my ass and guided me up and down on his dick. I threw my head back in ecstasy. When I came, he pushed inside me so I could feel all of him. As my spasms slowed, I slid off him exhausted.
“Oh, this ain’t over yet, nenita.”
I yelped playfully as he picked me up in the air and fucked me standing up. I held on to his neck and kissed him while he pumped me. He carried me to the ledge, turned me around and pounded me doggy style. He reached over and gyrated my clitoris while he drew into me. I moaned loudly, “I’m cumin’ again baby, again … Right there, right there!” My yelps made him pulse my clit faster and fuck me harder. I saw stars and collapsed onto the ledge in orgasmic shivers.
I turned around and took him into my mouth. He fisted my hair as I stroked the head of his penis with my tongue, licking it from top to bottom first then taking him entirely into my mouth. I sucked down the shaft and back up slowly initially then quickened when I felt his veins throbbing. Tightening my lips around his dick, I began to jerk him with one hand and played with his ball with the other. I could hear him gasping, moaning “Yes, yes” while I fondled him. When he came, I took him entirely into my mouth then pulled out so he could squirt all over my chest while I masturbated him. I watched him with his mouth open and eyes closed as he came all over me. He collapsed onto his knees in front of me and gazed
into my eyes.
“I love you, India. I’ve loved you for so long…”
I hesitated, eyes filling with tears. Before I could utter a word, he kissed me intensely. “You don’t have to say anything. Just know that I’m in love with you.” He led me back to the blanket where he cleaned me off and cradled me. We lay there naked, holding one another until a cloud covered the moon and it started to drizzle. “Wanna go downstairs now?” he asked in a low tone.
“Not yet.” I grabbed his hand and walked him to the exit. “Round two,” I murmured. I licked his neck and kissed him as the rain began to fall.
He sat down, leaned against the door and I climbed onto him. I pushed him slowly into me and rode him in circles while he caressed my breasts. James licked the rain off me as it began to fall in cascades. We devoured one another, pulsating to the rhythm of the falling water. He pushed deeper into me begging, “Let me come inside you.” He groaned loudly as I wriggled my hips, trying to take him even deeper. I felt his dick pulsate as he came. We stayed there, holding one another for a while. He let his penis become flaccid within me, both enjoying each other’s internal heat.
“I’m cold and sticky,” I shuddered and giggled.
“Can we go down now?” he asked with arched eyebrows, humor in his eyes. We dressed one another and descended the stairs hand in hand.
22
I was startled to awake in James’s arms. I remembered the night before and smiled. I kissed him, gently removed his arms from around my waist and got up. I was surprised to see that it was well after noon. I turned to watch James sleep wondering if I’d made a mistake. I couldn’t be sure if I felt the same as he did. Yes, I had feelings for him but I wasn’t in love with him and wasn’t certain if I ever could be. The more I thought about it, the more I regretted what had happened.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” I whispered remorsefully staring at his slumbering form.
I jumped into the shower and began to wash my body as I let my mind roam. It’d been a month since I’d bounced on Fabian and so much had changed. I was still hiding but James was doing a great job at keeping me distracted.
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