The woman, middle-aged with weathered skin and a wide smile, put her hands on her hips and looked between Emmet and me. “Which one of you is Emmet? I want to meet the powerhouse who got this whole project started.”
Emmet leaned forward, rocking in place. “I’m Emmet. But I don’t know who you are.”
She laughed. “Sorry about that.” She stuck out her hand. “Sue Grant.”
Emmet didn’t accept her hand, but he relaxed, his rocking gentling. “Yes, I know you now. You’re the owner and head trainer. I’ve sent you several emails.”
“Yes you have indeed, and I’ve enjoyed them all.” She withdrew her hand, not seeming upset that Emmet didn’t take it, and turned to Jeremey. “You must be Jeremey, then. Are you ready to go meet your girl?”
I frowned at her. “I’m sorry. I’m Jeremey, yes, but I don’t know what you mean.”
“She’s a surprise,” Emmet told Sue, rocking more anxiously.
“Ah.” Sue tucked her hands in her pockets. “Well, let’s get you to your surprise, then, shall we?”
I still didn’t understand what was going on, and I was unnerved to hear my surprise had a gender. What in the world had Emmet gotten me? I glanced at the pasture to my right, the one full of horses, and I shuddered. Oh, please no. I was afraid of horses. Besides, where in the world would I put one?
Sue and Emmet didn’t lead me to the horses, though. They took me into the smaller building that was painted red with a large sliding door. When Sue opened it, I was hit with a strong smell that reminded me of the time I’d volunteered at the animal shelter. Then I heard the barking.
Dogs.
A rush of emotion I couldn’t name went through me. Did Emmet get me…a dog?
Except as we walked down the hallway, I couldn’t shake the feeling this wasn’t a shelter. It was too neat, too clean, and there weren’t enough dogs. I’d only seen three, and they were working with people. Staff members waved at us as we passed. The dogs in the rooms with them wore vests, and the animals were sitting like they were learning tricks.
What kind of shelter was this? Was this a breeding place instead? Something was up.
Then we came around the corner…and there she was.
The dog was a golden retriever, sitting on a mat in a room, wearing a red vest and looking right at me with the most beautiful brown eyes in the world. Sitting so still, so patient, as if she’d been waiting my whole life for me to show up, and now I was here and she was too.
My breath caught, and I squeezed Emmet’s hand.
He squeezed back.
A trainer stood beside the dog. She smiled at me, crouching beside the animal. “Hello there. Are you Jeremey?”
I nodded at her, feeling like I was lost in a dream.
The trainer gestured to the retriever. “This is Mai. She has some training to do, but she’s ready to meet you and get to know you today. Mai, go to Jeremey.”
The dog stood, and with those brown eyes never leaving mine, she trotted over to me, sat, and looked up, waiting.
I stared at her, lost.
In love.
“Comfort Jeremey, Mai.”
Mai stood, put her paws on my legs, then stroked gently against my chest, whining softly at me, begging me.
I melted, letting go of Emmet and falling into the dog’s arms.
She covered me with dog kisses, loving licks on my face and neck, nuzzles complete with grunts that made my insides turn to goo. I hugged her close, wanting to cry and laugh at the same time. My whole body shook, reeling from shock and wonder and joy and fear, afraid to believe this might actually be the surprise they had brought me here to have. It couldn’t be this, that we’d come all this way for a dog. Not for this beautiful dog, this wonderful animal, this perfect girl…might she be the secret Emmet had been keeping for me?
I ached all over, something primal in me wrapping around her, unwilling to let her go. This was what I wanted, what I hadn’t known I wanted until right now.
But what if I was wrong, what if they were only showing me a dog, and now I was attached to something I couldn’t have?
I had to ask. I couldn’t get any more attached, couldn’t let my heart break any more than it already would if I’d guessed wrong. “Is this…is she for me?” I whispered.
“Yes.” Emmet stood behind me, not touching me but standing close. “She’s a service dog. Your service dog. She’s trained to help people with depression and anxiety. She can go with you anywhere in public. If you go to Target and you get overwhelmed, she can help you. If you’re at Workiva and you need a break, she can help you get to a safe space. If you’re at home alone and depression is bad, she can get you your medicine and a bottle of water, or the phone. She can stop you from hurting yourself. She can fetch someone to help you. She can comfort you when you need comforting and be your companion when no one else can be there.”
I withdrew from Mai, looking at Emmet, too stunned for a long moment to say a word. “She…she can do all that?”
“Not all, not quite yet.” Dr. North said this, coming closer to get a better look at Mai. “She’s still learning, which is why she can’t come home with you today. The staff here will work with her, and with you, and with me, to help her be the perfect service dog for you and you alone. Which is why it’s so important for you to be on board with this decision, Jeremey. Right now she only knows basic commands. She’s finishing her standard training, but when she’s done, she’ll have to start Jeremey training. Once she begins customizing to fit your needs, you have to be ready to commit to her and to the program.”
I wanted to commit to her right now. Forever. I drew a deep breath to steady my voice. “When will she be done with her standard training?”
The handler smiled. “She’s so close. Mai’s such a good girl, working so hard, I bet she’ll be ready by the end of the month.”
I stroked Mai’s ears, her neck, shutting my eyes when she nuzzled my face. “I didn’t know this kind of dog existed.”
“They’re expensive,” Emmet said. “This is why Workiva had to help. Mom found a grant, but Workiva had to help us finish. It takes a lot of money to train dogs like Mai. But I wanted to get one for you after I saw a man with one at Target. I’ve been trying to find one ever since, and now you can have one too, if you want one. If you want Mai.”
“Oh, I want her.” My heart felt as if it might explode, it was so full of love. “Thank you, Emmet. Thank you, Marietta, Doug, Dr. North, Kaya—everyone. I didn’t…I had no idea you were doing anything like this.”
Marietta came closer, crouched, and kissed his cheek. “You’re part of our family. We’ll do anything for you.” She smiled at Mai. “She’s beautiful. What a princess.”
Emmet came around the other side, petting her in a more halting, Emmet way. “I wish she could come with us now.”
“Once you’re ready to make it official and the paperwork goes through, we’ll bring her to The Roosevelt for some on-site training, even if her standard training isn’t quite finished. Then she’ll come back here and finish her lessons, and then she’ll come home for good.” The trainer smiled at me. “In the meantime, we have some training for you too. You need to learn how to use your new dog. She’s a good worker, but you need to know how to tell her what to do. We’ll help you figure it out. Are you ready to learn?”
I stroked Mai’s neck. Stared into her sweet face, her eyes, thought about how she was my dog. My dog. Not only my dog, but my helper. My tool so I could do better at work and in every part of my life.
Would she make that much of a difference, I wondered? Would having Mai mean I could go to work with David more? Would having her on my team, as my aide mean I wouldn’t be The Roosevelt Blues Brother left behind all the time?
I wasn’t sure, not yet. But I did know when I looked into Mai’s eyes, I didn’t just feel love. I felt hope.
“I’m ready,” I said, and let hope soar.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Emmet
Mai
came to stay with us the second Tuesday in March. It was a nice day, sunny and bright outside, and three trains had gone by already. There was still some snow, but it was in clumps on the grass, none left on the pavement. It was warm enough Jeremey and David and Darren and I could wait outside for Mai.
Jeremey was practically flapping when the car with Mai pulled up and she came out with her trainer. Jeremey went to her, crouching to let Mai welcome and comfort him. The trainer had taught me some things too, and I thought it was interesting to learn how some of the things that looked like simple dog kisses and hugs were actually Mai’s training. She’d been taught a lot of things specific to Jeremey: how to calm a panic attack, how to lead him away from too many people, how to get nosy people to stop bothering him, and how to lead Jeremey to The Roosevelt, or—my favorite—to me.
“Find Emmet” was a training module we’d spent several hours working on the weekend before, and we’d done training all over Ames. Mai is very smart—she can find me no matter where I hide, even if I’m quite a ways away. All she needs is my scent trail, and she can hunt me down. Another trick she can do is take a plastic booklet from Jeremey and flip to the right colored page, and there’s my picture and phone number and Workiva information on it. So if Jeremey is at Target and has a panic attack and wants them to call me, he can tell Mai get Emmet, and she’ll take the page to an associate and they’ll know to call me. Mai is incredibly smart.
Jeremey loves Mai so much, and he barely knows her. He cried each time they took her away to go get more training after her home visits, and today he cried as she came to him, though this time she was home, never leaving him again. But this is how Jeremey is. He has a lot of emotions, and he cries them out. I don’t mind.
We took Mai inside, and for the rest of the day we mostly stayed in the apartment and got to know her. I enjoyed having her around, but it was also strange. I was glad Jeremey had Mai, but it would take time to get used to having a dog around in my living space. I would have to vacuum more, I realized, and use more air freshener. Sometimes her breathing bothered me because it was loud. But she was also a beautiful dog, and she gave Jeremey so much happiness. It was nice to sit, all three of us on the couch, and be together like a family.
What surprised me the next morning was that I woke up and found a note from Jeremey saying he and Mai had gone on a walk. I was nervous about this because Jeremey doesn’t usually do well on walks alone. But when he came back, he had red cheeks and ears and a big smile.
“I did it. I didn’t run, but I walked all the way around Brookside Park. Even in the part on the trails. All by myself, with Mai.”
I was proud of him. “Weren’t you scared?”
“I was at first. But Mai was with me. When strangers talked to me and made me nervous, I gave her the signal they taught me to have her block strangers, and they left me alone. Except after a few times, I felt silly, because I realized no one meant to hurt me. So I stopped using the signal, and we simply had a nice walk, the two of us. But I knew I was safe. If I did need the signal, I had her.”
I held up my hand for a high-five, and Jeremey gave me one. Then I held up my hand to Mai. “Good job, Mai.”
She met my hand with her paw.
Jeremey started coming to work with us regularly now that he had Mai, and we were able to get more work done on The Roosevelt Project. We had important tasks to do now too. Then we met Linda Weaver, and our goals for the project shifted yet again.
Linda was a state representative, and she came to us one day in March because she’d heard about our model for assisted living. “My sister has severe cerebral palsy. She’s only forty, but she lives in a nursing home because we can’t find anywhere else to give her the care she needs. She should be able to be among her peers or at least be more involved in society, but we can’t find her a place. And yet Iowa is more interested in shutting down facilities than opening them. Meanwhile, here you are. What I love about The Roosevelt is so much of what you’re doing is led by the residents themselves. Bob built this place inspired by you, David, but you’re making it your own space. And now the four of you want to make more space for others like you. You’re the leadership we need in this state. I want to do what I can to showcase you. Will you let me do that?”
She’d asked all of us, and she’d looked a lot at David, but everyone turned to me when she was finished, as if they expected me to answer.
I hummed and rocked, and signed to Darren. Is she asking us to run for office?
Darren rocked a few times before he replied. I don’t think so. I think she wants us to help her with a project to help her stay in office.
Things began to make sense. I think this is the poster-child concept at work.
Possibly. We will need to ask her a number of questions. I have several I’m thinking of. I can write them down and you can ask them if you think she’ll take you more seriously.
I hummed and shook my head before signing a reply. No. If she doesn’t take you seriously, I don’t want to work with her.
Darren smiles are sometimes difficult to catch, but I noticed that one. Okay, he said, and then he began to make his iPad talk.
It took a long time for him to type, and sometimes he skipped a word or two to save time so the sentence was not quite right and a little choppy. But Linda Weaver didn’t seem to mind, and she was patient as she waited for Darren to ask his question.
“Why do you want help from us, when you’re the one who’s elected to a public office? Most of us haven’t been through college.”
Linda nodded at this. She smiled too, and it wasn’t the usual look people gave Darren, the one that said they thought he was the R word. “It’s a fair question. I’m asking you because, to be honest, I’ve been backed into a corner, and I need all the help I can get. I’ve talked to Bob and to Kaya, and I like the way you guys are approaching this issue. Plus I’m a big believer in having the people affected by the issues be represented in the issues. Much as I want there to be more persons with disabilities elected to office, there aren’t many in the statehouse right now. I want young, aggressive people such as you to help stand up for people like my sister, who can’t stand up for themselves. There’s some bad legislation about to come through the committee I’m on, worse than what we’ve seen already, if you can believe it. They want to award more contracts to private companies such as the ones that have made the mental health and nursing home situation so unbearable here in the state. They’re going to make it harder for places like The Roosevelt to exist. I want to stop that bill. I want your help to do it.”
My octopus got upset at the idea of more bad legislation happening, the shit crick getting thicker with more poop in it, but if Darren was upset, he managed his octopus well. All he did was type on his iPad until he could talk to Linda some more. “Will helping you get in the way of working on The Roosevelt Project with Bob and Workiva and Kaya?”
“Absolutely not. I’d make sure any efforts you made on my projects worked in tandem or were completely secondary.” I thought maybe Linda was proud of Darren, or pleased. “Please ask me any other questions, any of you, as many as you have. I’m happy to sit here as long as you need me to.”
She stayed with us a long time, answering Darren’s questions. About the bill being proposed, who had sponsored it, and what the specific ramifications where. He asked other questions too, but my octopus needed a break for some of it and I had to count some things in the room, though I did hear the part where he asked her if she knew of any contacts who could make our job easier. Linda said yes, she did, and she promised to email them as soon as she was back in her office.
Kaya was at this meeting too, but she didn’t say much, not until the end. She listened, letting Darren and Linda talk, sometimes taking notes. When it was over, she asked Darren if she could see him in her office.
“Am I in trouble?” he asked through his iPad.
She shook her head, not smiling exactly, but she had one of those unreadable expressions on, a
nd it looked a bit like a smile. When the two of them disappeared, David laughed, one of his trickster laughs.
“She about shit herself through the whole meeting, her and the representative both, though I think Linda was more impressed than shocked.” David’s grin became wider. “People are always underestimating Darren. They all think he’s some dummy, but then he lets out his smarts and they don’t know what hit them. I bet you any money Kaya’s offering him a real job. And he’s not going to take it.”
I didn’t understand. “What do you mean, a real job? Darren has a real job. He’s working with you on The Roosevelt Project.”
“It’s a grant-funded project. It doesn’t have a long-term aspect to it, and he’s still tied to Medicare for insurance. She’s going to offer him something meatier at the company. But he’ll say no, because he believes in this. You haven’t heard the guy’s sermons on how awful Icarus is and how he doesn’t want anyone else to live anywhere else like it, ever. I get them every night, now that you’ve taught me how to read his DSL and he doesn’t have to hammer at his keypad. The Roosevelt Project is the only job he ever wants. Darren is committed.”
It turned out David was exactly right. Kaya did offer Darren a job at Workiva, and he did reject it for the exact reasons David mentioned. We sat together on the couch in my apartment that night after work while Jeremey and Mai went for a walk, and he signed passionately, rocking and grunting as he told me the whole story.
She wanted to give me a job in public relations, working with people online. It would have been a good job, and maybe I should have taken it. But I can’t now that we’re working on this project. I believe in The Roosevelt. I want to make it a real thing. I want to do what Linda Weaver said, except I want to make it a project for the whole country and the whole world. I don’t want anyone to ever feel like I did at Icarus ever again. I don’t know if we can make the project that big, but I’m not going to take a different job when I could maybe have a job where I was part of that change. It’s not what a Roosevelt Blues Brother would do.
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