Noah walked off in the direction of the shower, and Ryder sank onto the bench in front of his locker. Is that he was doing? Was he driving people away because he was too serious? He’d sure succeeded in hurting Jessica, and all because he’d prioritized a preseason hockey game over her. Even if he hadn’t intended to, he knew it looked that way to her.
“Is something wrong, Ry?” Colton came over and sat beside him. “You’ve been wound tighter than a drum since practice this morning, and I couldn’t help but notice how you just lit into Noah.”
“I hate losing,” Ryder said.
Colton nodded. “Fair enough. Show me a professional athlete who likes losing, and I’ll show you someone who has no business being a professional athlete. But I think I’ve got a pretty good read on this team, and all the guys on it, and let me tell you, that’s not Noah. That guy’s as serious as you, me, anyone else, when it comes game time,” Colton said, “and he feels the losses, too. Just because he likes to joke around doesn’t mean he’s not serious about the game.”
Ryder exhaled sharply. “I know that. I do. And I’ll apologize to Noah. I’m in a bad mood today, but I shouldn’t take it out on him, or any of you guys.”
“Yeah, we all noticed you’re in a lousy mood,” Colton said. “Some of the guys are making wagers as to why.” He laughed. “That’s not my thing, though, so I’ll only say this. Whatever it is, figure it out. It’s a long season, one that hasn’t even really started yet. If we’re going to reach our goals, we need everyone at their best.”
“Understood,” Ryder said. Now he had to figure out how to get there. He liked Jessica. He wanted to spend more time with her. He should be able to do that and still give his all to the game he loved. Plenty of other guys did it, so why was it so hard for him? Noah was right. Ryder’s problem was balance, or lack thereof. There had to be a way to achieve it, though.
Chapter Twelve
It wasn’t a long flight back to San Antonio from Phoenix, but it nonetheless gave Ryder plenty of time to think. So did another sleepless night. Normally after a road game, with three days before the next game, morning skate would be optional. Not during the preseason, though, when the team was still evaluating players.
Ryder was happy to have practice. The loss still gnawed at him, and he was anxious to get back to work. He also had some repairs to make in his relationships with teammates, too, starting with Noah. He’d always prided himself on being a good teammate and a good leader, and worthy of wearing the ‘A’ on his sweater, but now, for the first time, Ryder questioned whether he deserved it. He’d been a first class jerk lately. First to Jessica, then to Noah.
He was early to the practice rink, but he wasn’t the first one there. Noah was already in his gear and taking shots at an empty net. Ryder waved, and Noah skated over to him.
“Morning. Want to stand in as goalie for a few?”
“No thanks,” Ryder said with a chuckle. “Not against your shot.” After only a few years, Noah had already earned his place as having one of the league’s hardest shots. “I’m sure Beck or Eli will be along soon.”
“Yeah, Eli’s on his way. He’ll be game.” Noah brushed his hair back from his face, and Ryder noticed it was already damp with sweat. He’d apparently been practicing a while already. “As for my shot, it sure wasn’t all that lethal last night.” He shook his head. “I made it way too easy on their goalie.”
“We all did,” Ryder said. “It’s like coach said afterward. We were undisciplined and reckless. But hey, we’ll learn from it and get better, right? It’s a long season ahead. Stanley Cups aren’t won or lost in September.”
Noah’s eyes narrowed. “Okay, who are you and what did you do with Ryder?”
He let out a dry laugh. “I probably deserve that. And you deserve an apology. I was an asshole after the game last night.”
“Apology accepted. I know losses are tough to take.”
“They are, yeah. I want to be a champion, and I put a lot of pressure on myself,” Ryder said. “Maybe too much.”
“Believe it or not, I do, too.” Noah said. “I want to win as bad as anyone. So bad it hurts sometimes. Not that I have to explain myself, but that’s why I goof off and joke around off the ice. It takes the pressure off. It gives me an outlet. Like Alex and Seth have their families. And now Trev, too. Colton’s working on starting his. Beck’s got his budding relationship. Casey has his parties and his girls. Me, I have my video games and comic book conventions.” He shrugged. “As much as we all rag on Casey, when he steps on the ice, he gives his all. I like to think I do, too.”
“No doubt about it,” Ryder said, feeling chastened. “On both counts.” He smiled. “One Casey on a team is probably enough, though.”
“Probably.” Noah laughed. “Me, I avoid the clubs. I’m hoping I’ll find a nice geek girl someday.”
“I hope you do.”
“Yeah. So what’s up with you and the news anchor from channel twelve?” Noah asked.
“Nothing much. I kinda blew it,” Ryder admitted. “That whole balance thing you were talking about. I’m going to fix it, though.”
“Good luck, man,” Noah said. “We all like you, even if you do need to learn how to lighten up a little bit.”
***
Ryder wanted to lighten up, but Jessica still wasn’t answering his calls, which added to his overall stress level. How was he supposed to make things right with her if she wouldn’t even talk to him? Since he wasn’t getting anywhere with the phone calls, Ryder decided to go by the station and try to talk to her after the early newscast. First, though, he stopped by JP’s Deli to pick up her favorite sandwich. And one for himself this time, too.
The broadcast had just wrapped up when he arrived, and the pleasant assistant director from his last visit recognized him and said she’d tell Jessica he was there. Sure enough, a few minutes later, Jessica met him in the reception area. She didn’t appear happy to see him, though.
“Ryder, hi.” She wasn’t frowning, exactly, but that sure wasn’t a smile, either. “I didn’t expect you.”
“I’ve been trying to call for two days,” he said. “I’m sure you’re angry, and I get that, but I’d like to try to make it up to you. Or at least talk to you and try to explain.” Surely, once they talked everything over, she’d understand, right? He wasn’t an asshole. He didn’t deliberately try to make her feel cheap. He was simply trying to balance different pressures in his life. And apparently doing a lousy job of it. “I brought a peace offering.” He held up the bag. “JP’s turkey and provolone on Ciabatta with pesto mayo.” He gave her a sheepish smile. “And a chocolate brownie.”
“You did?” Now she frowned. “That’s nice of you, but—”
“Jess, are you ready to go?”
Ryder recognized the interrupting third party as Jessica’s co-anchor, a skinny blond guy with glasses. Go where? Surely she didn’t have a date with him? Did she?
“Yes, just a minute, Neil,” she said. “Did you meet Ryder the other night? Ryder Carrigan, this is Neil Parker, my co-anchor on the news.”
“I don’t think so, but hello.” Neil extended a hand.
Ryder shook it, and found it weak. “Hi.”
“Jessica and I were just about to head out to dinner.”
So they did have a date. “Oh, well, don’t let me stop you, then,” he said, trying to save face. “Have a nice time.”
At least he’d get to try JP’s turkey and provolone sandwich. Hell, he even had two of them. Good thing he was hungry.
***
Ryder, and turkey and provolone from her favorite deli, or Neil and the Chinese buffet around the corner from the station. Jessica had no internal debate as to which of those options she preferred. Even after the events of the weekend, Ryder and JP’s won every single time. Yet here she was, with Neil, at Happy China.
“I hope this place is okay,” he said. “It’s close to the station and we don’t have much time, and it’s one of my favorite places.”
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“It’s fine,” Jessica lied. She didn’t care for Chinese food, especially the buffet kind, and she seemed to recall that the restaurant didn’t have the greatest reputation. Neil was right, though, in that it was close and they didn’t have much time. She’d live with it, even if the smell of the fried oil was already getting to her.
Jessica avoided the chicken dishes, knowing a friend who once got sick on one of them, and instead filled her plate with beef and broccoli and a few vegetarian egg rolls. They looked safe enough. Neil piled his plate high with sweet and sour chicken, apparently unconcerned about the under cooked chicken scare. Hopefully he wouldn’t get sick during their late news broadcast.
“Thanks for having dinner with me,” Neil said when they were sitting down again. “I’ve wanted to spend some time getting to know you better. It’s been hard since the divorce. Not all women understand the schedule I keep.”
“I know how that goes. It can be difficult, for sure,” Jessica agreed. Was that the primary reason for his apparent interest in her? He thought she would understand his schedule. If so, it wasn’t exactly a ringing endorsement. She bit into an egg roll, and it wasn’t horrible. That was her ringing endorsement of the food.
“You’ve never been married, right?” Neil asked.
“No.” Jessica shook her head. “Never found the right guy, and the hours I work are definitely an issue. I do want a family someday, but it may be hard to juggle schedules, although I know other news anchors that manage,” she said. “I suppose if my husband worked days, I could be home with the kids, then he’d watch them in the evening while I worked. In theory, anyway.”
An arrangement like that wouldn’t work with Neil, not that Jessica was terribly upset about that. It also likely could never work with Ryder, given his schedule and the fact that his games were almost all at night. No, it couldn’t work with him, and that fact disappointed her. Had he come to the same conclusion, and was it the reason for his behavior the other day? No. More than likely, it was Ryder’s intense focus on his career that was to blame. Either way, a relationship between them would never succeed, no matter how attractive he was.
“There’s always a way to make something work, if you try hard enough,” Neil said. “Unfortunately for me, Marcy wasn’t willing to try anymore.”
“I’m sorry.” Jessica hoped she sounded sincere, and it wasn’t that she didn’t care. She simply wasn’t interested. “So, what kind of music do you like?” she asked, attempting conversation. “Do you like jazz? I went to the jazz festival a couple weeks ago.”
“No, I don’t like jazz,” Neil said. “Country’s my thing.”
“Oh.” Jessica hated country. “What about TV? Do you like medical dramas? Or crime?”
He shook his head. “I prefer comedies.”
Great. So far they had nothing in common. “How about books? Do you like to read?”
“Only the funnies in the newspaper, or Consumer Reports when I’m in the bathroom.”
Great. There was a lovely image. Jessica surreptitiously reached for her phone and sent an emergency text to Missy. They’d planned for this contingency, and even though Jessica felt slightly guilty for employing the tactic, it was a better option than enduring more of this date, and leading Neil on in the process.
Her phone beeped a minute later, and Jessica looked at it. “It’s Missy,” she said. “Apparently there’s a breaking development. We have to get back to the station.”
“Hmm.” Neil frowned. “I wonder why she didn’t message me.” Jessica froze for a second, afraid he might question the ruse. “I guess we better go, then.”
Whew. Dodged one there. Thanks, Missy.
Chapter Thirteen
While Jessica was busy with the late newscast, Ryder was apparently busy making phone calls. She had two messages on her cell phone by the time the news was over, and Missy delivered two more once the broadcast wrapped, calls he had apparently made to the station.
“He’s persistent, at least,” Jessica said. She wasn’t quite sure how to take it.
“Are you sure he’s not a stalker?”
Jessica laughed. “Yeah, I think I can safely rule that out.” Ryder couldn’t possibly find time to stalk women. After all, it would get in the way of winning a Stanley Cup. No, he wasn’t a deranged stalker. Just a guy with a messed up sense of priority.
“Well, if he’s not stalking you, he’s at least very interested,” Missy said. “He asked you to call him tonight, no matter what time it is.”
Jessica nodded. “I’ll think about it.” How could she not?
“I hope so. He’s always very nice when he calls or stops by here.” Missy hesitated. “And Jessica?”
“What?”
“Neil is not right for you. Not at all. And I knew that long before you needed me to execute The Great Date Rescue.”
Jessica managed a laugh. “I owe you one for that, definitely,” she said. “Believe me, I know Neil isn’t the man for me. The problem is, I’m not sure Ryder is, either.”
The debate was still unsettled as she drove to Char’s house after work.
She was greeted with a curious smile and a glass of wine. “I want details,” Char said. “Don’t hold back.”
“Fine.” Jessica accepted the glass and took a sip of wine and helped herself to a seat on Char’s couch. It was becoming way too familiar. “Should we start calling this the therapy couch?”
“Call it what you want, but I’m in no position to offer therapy. Have you seen my social life lately?” Char asked with a sardonic smile. “Anyway, tell me about the date. I’m guessing, by your presence, that we can safely assume it wasn’t the great dream date.”
Jessica choked back a laugh as she swallowed her wine, almost sending it out her nose. “Neil took me to Happy China,” she said, once she’d recovered. “Because, you know, nothing says romance better than the $6.99 all-you-can-eat buffet. At least they’re open again after that health scare a couple months ago, or who knows where we might’ve gone.”
“Happy China? Seriously?” Char laughed. “Oh, Jess...”
“I know, right?” She let out a laugh. “I seriously wanted to throw up. But I didn’t, so I guess I didn’t contract food poisoning.”
“Well, that’s something at least. But if you have to employ the great date save, that’s never a good sign.”
Jessica sighed. “No, it’s not,” she admitted. “I think we can safely rule out Neil as my dream man. We have nothing in common. And I do mean nothing.”
Char nodded. “Right, and Ryder...”
Boy, she wasn’t subtle. “Is someone I have a lot in common with and enjoy spending time with,” Jessica admitted. “But does that make up for him making me feel like a cheap slut the other night?” She didn’t think so.
“That, no,” Char said. “Alone, it’s not enough. But other things might tip the scale, depending on circumstances. I mean, he’s certainly persistent. How many times did he try to call tonight?”
Jessica didn’t even have to stop and think about it. “Five.”
“So what does that tell you?” Char urged
“That he’s determined. We already established that. He apparently wants to see me, talk to me,” Jessica admitted. “I get all of that. But weren’t you the one who wanted to castrate him a couple days ago?”
“Castrate, no.” Char shuddered. “That’s harsh for anyone. I did think he was being an ass, but that’s a different story.”
“And now you think he’s not?”
“Who said that? His actions were completely assholish,” Char said. “I’ve just moved on from that. I think you should at least give him a chance to explain, and try to make it up to you. Don’t you think he deserves that much?”
Jessica took a swallow of wine as she contemplated it. Yes, Ryder had been a jerk, but he had apologized right away, and he definitely seemed to want to make it up to her. And up until the fight other night, she very much enjoyed spending time with him. If she slammed the
door closed on any chance of a relationship with him, without giving it another try, Jessica knew she’d always wonder ‘what if.’
She set her glass down and reached for her phone. “You’re right. I’ll call him.”
“Now? It’s almost midnight, Jess.”
“Yes, and he said to call him, no matter how late it was,” she reminded Char. “I guess I’ll find out if he meant it.” Maybe it was a little bit of a test, but Jessica would know pretty quickly how serious Ryder was.
***
Ryder watched the ten o’clock newscast preoccupied with what might be going on between Jessica and her co-anchor. When they shared a little laugh over a lighthearted story, he had to begrudgingly admit they shared a good chemistry on-screen chemistry. Ryder hoped it was only that, an on-air thing, and Jessica wasn’t serious about Neil Parker. Perhaps their dinner had been a working one only? A guy could hope.
He waited up for half an hour after the broadcast ended, hoping Jessica would return his call. When she didn’t, Ryder finally decided to go to bed, but sleep didn’t come. How stupidly ironic that he’d jeopardized such a promising thing with Jessica just so he could be well rested before a damn road trip. He hadn’t gotten a decent night’s sleep since. Yeah, he was an idiot, plain and simple.
When sleep didn’t come, he got up and went to his home gym to try to get some time in on the exercise bike. He’d gone about a mile, on an uphill course, when his phone finally rang. Jessica. Maybe he hadn’t ruined everything after all.
“Hey.” Ryder slowed his pace on the bike. “I was hoping you’d call.”
A chuckle came over the line. “Yeah, I think I picked up on that with the five messages you left.”
“I wanted to make sure you got them.” Hopefully he hadn’t seemed too obnoxious. At least she called.
“What are you doing?” Jessica asked. “You sound out of breath.”
“Riding my exercise bike. I couldn’t sleep.” Ryder stopped the bike and got off. “What about you?”
Chasing the Prize (Men of the Ice Book 5) Page 7