by Indra Sinha
Mike is Michael Paris (no relation to Geno) who runs the CRiS (Computer Research Institute) board up in Chicago. He’s a virus researcher with links both to hackers and anti-hackers. You can get clean, well-presented and documented virus specimens from his board if you’re willing to sign on as a researcher. If I really want to learn virus programming, I should probably spend more time there, but at £1 per minute it isn’t as entertaining as Geno.
>Well there is plenty of people out there writing new stuff. Have you seen Offspring yet? Damn good little spawning virus, but I and a very few others are the only ones putting them into anything. It is really getting sad. I mean somewhere along the line these people have lost the reason for viruses... they are not to play with they are to spread...
>I see that satanbug is still rampaging around...
>Yeah it fucked up a secret service computer. We need more of that kind of action. I am almost willing to say that all the virus swappers are not helping the situation either all they are doing is letting the anti-virus people get their hands on the new stuff like satanbug faster...
>Geno, do you think the anti-virus mob have got access into groups like NuKE etc?
>To some degree, yes. I know for a fact that there are several anti-virus people in NuKE that Rock Stupid has let in. Tiphoid Mary is a member of VirNET for gods sake and there are others. That fucking F__________ is a non-programing idiot who gives everything straight to MacFee...
Tiphoid, ironically, was later kicked out of VirNET for being a member of NuKE. MacFee (sic) is McAfee the anti-virus man.
>well, why did Rocky let them in then?
I don’t tell Geno that thanks to my friendship with him, Rock Steady has admitted me, a secret if clueless double agent, to NuKE.
>He is a moron. The last NuKE journal pissed the hackerphreakers off, because Nowhere Man’s article was almost straight out of 2600 mag, also the fucker is a virus thief, he has stolen one of mine that I gave him.
>ah Geno, if only the public knew the tribulations of being a virus writer...
Next year in Jerusalem
The New York HQ of a large computer company is hit by the Jerusalem B virus. The virus infects only ten files, but every machine connected to the network has to be checked. It takes a team of administrators, technicians and security folk two working days and cost around $5,000. On this basis, the Oklahoma Institute of Virus Research contains enough destructive code to trash every system in the US. Stashed in a chamber marked ‘J’, I find hundreds of mutant strains of the Jerusalem virus.
J-1361.ZIP
1216
09-12-93
jerusalem modification 1361
J-1605.ZIP
1338
09-12-93
jerusalem modification 1605
J-1735.ZIP
1478
09-12-93
jerusalem modification 1735
J-1813.ZIP
1346
09-12-93
jerusalem modification 1813
J-4KA.ZIP
3961
09-12-93
jerusalem mod
J-A204.ZIP
1377
09-12-93
jerusalem (1808.a.204)
J-AC2900.COM
3000
02-24-92
jerusalem (anticad.2900)
J-AC2900.ZIP
2196
09-12-93
jerusalem (anticad.2900)
J-AC3004.COM
3104
01-01-80
jerusalem (anticad.3004)
J-AC3012.EXE
3604
03-19-89
jerusalem (anticad.3012)
J-AC3012.EXE
3604
03-19-89
jerusalem (anticad.3012)
J-AC4KA.COM
5911
06-01-89
jerusalem (anticad.4096)
J-AC4KCH.COM
5096
08-31-90
jerusalem (anticad.4096.chinese)
J-AC4KDA.COM
14096
02-06-91
jerusalem (anticad.4096.danube)
J-AC4KMO.COM
4138
12-20-90
jerusalem (anticad.4096.mozart)
J-ACTOBA.COM
6471
06-03-91
jerusalem (anticad.2900.tobacco)
J-ACTOBA.ZIP
4192
09-12-93
jerusalem (anticad.2900.tobacco)
J-ANARKB.COM
5909
03-18-91
jerusalem (1808.anarkia.b)
J-AN ARKC.COM
6928
03-11-91
jerusalem (1808.anarkia.c)
J-ANTISC.COM
1607
02-09-92
jerusalem (antiscan)
J-BARCEL.COM
5363
04-03-91
jerusalem (barcelona)
J-CARFLD.COM
2516
08-31-90
jerusalem (carfield)
J-CLIPPR.EXE
2437
07-29-90
jerusalem (clipper)
J-CNDER.ZIP
3260
09-12-93
jerusalem (1808.cnder)
J-CTRIP6.COM
1817
01-01-80
new or modified variant of jerusalem
J-CTRIPS.COM
1817
02-19-91
jerusalem (1808.captain trips.skism)
J-CZECHB.COM
1737
03-11-90
jerusalem (czech.b)
J-DRAGON.COM
5384
06-03-91
jerusalem (1808.triple)
J-EINSTN.COM
1438
05-12-91
jerusalem (einstein)
J-EINSTN.ZIP
933
09-12-93
jerusalem (einstein)
J-F13416.COM
432
08-19-89
friday the 13th (416)
J-F13416.ZIP
491
09-12-93
friday the 13th (416)
J-F13VB.COM
604
01-01-80
friday the 13th (540.b)
J-F13_V2.COM
452
09-19-89
new or modified variant of friday the 13th
J-FEB7.COM
1818
02-10-92
jerusalem (1808.february 7th)
J-FEB7.ZIP
1356
09-12-93
jerusalem (1808.february 7th)
J-FLAGEE.COM
1818
02-10-92
jerusalem (1808.flag ee)
J-FREREA.ZIP
1477
09-12-93
jerusalem (1808.frere.a)
J-FRI15.EXE
6464
12-30-90
jerusalem (1808.friday 15th)
J-FUMCHU.ZIP
1810
09-12-93
jerusalem (fu manchu)
J-GP1.COM
2869
10-29-90
jerusalem (gp1)
J-GRLINX.ZIP
1431
09-12-93
jerusalem (groen links)
J-INJECT.EXE
12080
01-07-91
j-inject trojan
J-JAN25.EXE
6928
03-11-91
jerusalem (1808.january 25th)
J-JVT1.COM
1855
10-31-90
jerusalem (1808.jvt1)
J-KYLIE.ZIP
1812
09-12-93
jerusalem (kylie)
J-MENDOZ.ZIP
1565
09-12-93
jerusalem (1808.mendoza)
J-MIKY.ZIP
3470
09-12-93
jerusalem (miky)
J-MOCTEZ.ZIP
4320
09-12-93
jerusalem (moctezuma)
J-MULE.ZIP
1788
09-12-93
jerusalem (mule)
J-MUMY10.EXE
10513
12-20-90
jerusalem (mummy 1.0)
J-MUMY12.EXE
10743
01-03-89
jerusalem (mummy 1.2)
J-NAZI.ZIP
3955
09-12-93
multiple infections: jerusalem (1808.standard) and cascade
J-NOV30.ZIP
1628
09-12-93
jerusalem (november 30th)
J-PHENOM.COM
2048
03-15-91
jerusalem (1808.phenomen)
J-PLO.ZIP
1459
09-12-93
jerusalem (1808.p)
J-PSQR.ZIP
1317
09-12-93
jerusalem (psqr)
J-PUERTO.EXE
6928
03-11-91
jerusalem (1808.puerto)
J-SK2.COM
1817
01-01-80
jerusalem (1808.captain trips.c)
J-SK3.COM
1817
01-01-80
jerusalem (1808.captain trips.d)
J-SK4.COM
1817
01-01-80
jerusalem (1808.captain trips.e)
J-SK5.COM
1817
01-01-80
jerusalem (1808.captain trips.f)
J-SK6.COM
1817
01-01-80
jerusalem (1808.captain trips.g)
J-SK7.COM
1817
01-01-80
jerusalem (1808.captain trips.h)
J-SK8.COM
1817
01-01-80
new or modified variant of jerusalem
J-SK9.ZIP
1378
09-12-93
new or modified variant of jerusalem
J-SKISM.COM
1817
01-01-80
jerusalem (1808.skism)
J-SPAIN.ZIP
1447
09-12-93
jerusalem (1808.spanish)
J-SS110.ZIP
1128
09-12-93
jerusalem (solano.subliminal.1_10)
J-STTD.ZIP
6995
09-12-93
jerusalem (1808.standard)
J-SUB_0.ZIP
1384
09-12-93
jerusalem (1808.captain trips.subzero)
J-SUMS1.ZIP
1373
09-12-93
jerusalem (1808.apocalypse)
J-SUMS2.ZIP
1638
09-12-93
jerusalem (1808.frere.c)
J-SUMS3.ZIP
1348
09-12-93
jerusalem (1808.0ffd)
J-SUMS4.ZIP
1513
09-12-93
jerusalem (1808.frere.c)
J-SUNDY2.ZIP
1577
09-12-93
jerusalem (sunday ii)
J-SUNDYC.ZIP
1479
09-12-93
jerusalem (sunday.c)
J-SUNDYD.EXE
2644
08-31-90
jerusalem (sunday.d)
J-SUNDYE.COM
1668
12-25-89
jerusalem (sunday.e)
J-SURIV3.EXE
6928
03-11-91
jerusalem (suriv 3)
J-SWISS.EXE
2496
12-16-90
jerusalem (1808.swiss)
J-TRIPLE.ZIP
3273
09-12-93
jerusalem (1808.triple)
J-WESTWD.ZIP
1364
09-12-93
jerusalem (westwood)
J-YELLOW.COM
2387
07-11-91
jerusalem (yellow)
Geno explains to me that it is the pitiful incompetence of the virus writing crowd that accounts for the hundreds of Jerusalem offspring. The original Jerusalem virus had been written in Haifa in the eighties. It went off with a bang every Friday 13th. For years it was the commonest computer virus ‘in the wild’, which made it the perfect laboratory specimen for would-be virus writers to examine and disassemble. Most of the Jerusalem clones were created by a virus-writing gang called Phalcon/Skism, much feared by the antivirus establishment, who portray them as a sinister clique of cyber-terrorists. Actually, says Geno, they are ‘second-rate programmers barely old enough to masturbate’. All they did was take the Jerusalem virus apart and put it back together again in dozens of minutely varying iterations, most of which were duly given new, terrifying sounding names and launched as new creations. Geno tells me that he has tested all of them, most do not work.
Gypsy Caravanserai (Chorley’s story)
‘Bear, it’s Chorley an . . . an I’m telling yer straight up don’t get offended cos I’m fucking drunk. In fact I’m fucking drunk. I’ve got this giant bloody bottle of whisky here and I’m halfway through it or I wouldn’t be ringing yer. Yer know what I’m gonna say, don’t yer? It’s all a bloody big mistake, mate. You and Cally. Okay I’ve seen the letter she sent yer but it don’t mean a bloody thing. You should see the one she sent us. What I’m trying to say, an if I wasn’t so fucking pissed I wouldn’t, but the bottle’s half fucking empty an I’m sorry, this’ll shock yer, but . . . thing is she’s with me, mate. Cally and me have been having an affair for months. I just wanted yer to know in case yer got the wrong idea, an I want you to see the letter she wrote me cos when you’ve read it you’ll fucking leave her alone cos it proves I’m the one she loves.’
It’s just a week since my heart-stopping experience with Calypso. She has sent me no letter that I know of, but in my mailbox is the following message.
From: calypso
To: chorley
babe, ours were the sweetest moments. every day, i secretly smile and remember that day on the moor. the relief at last of leaving the others behind, looking in the mirror at the caravans getting smaller and smaller behind us. then looking at you and thinking we had the whole day to be together and be free. you weren’t even expecting it were you babe. i know i’d said we’d find ways to be together, but weren’t you surprised when i jumped up and said ‘i’ll go with chorley because there are some things i need to get in richmond’. the look on your face i will never forget, i think only i noticed. cos you had been expecting to go off on your own. i had to do it that way, because you know babe, you’re not very good at hiding your feelings. so off we went and left them behind and you were all shy, as if we’d never been alone together before. when we stopped at the inn for a drink i didn’t say anything but i knew we’d spend most of the day in bed. i cherish the memory of that room in the inn, the four poster with so soft a mattress, snowy sheets. you touch me and we’re together and we are one. forever, you and me, whatever happens, this day is ours. it was summer, we were hot and lay sticky and sweet on the cover...
‘I know she’s not perfect,’ slurs Chorley, ‘an’ I know she’s had special friends and been tempted and all that . . . but she’s never gone all the way with anyone else. Not since she was married . . . ’cept her husband of course . . . She’s hurting, Bear, she’s like a confused child, you probably don’t know this but she never had much love when she was young. She needs me, mate. Other blokes might want to take advantage for what they can get, but I’m concerned for her, I care about her and I can help her. Cos you see the thing is she really loves me.’
So Lilith was right. Poor old Chorley, she got you too.
Missing
I get home one evening about eight or nine, the usual time – there are fifty slow miles between the agency and our Sussex village – to find no-one i
n. The house is shadowy and deserted. It’s early summer, still light outside. I go out into the garden. No-one around – only an edge of moon netted in branches – not a soul.
Go into the study. Taped to the computer screen is a plain white envelope. Slit it open, looking for a message. Four folded sheets: a telephone bill. My eyes flick to the end of the last sheet and recoil. I can’t believe the sum – it’s more than a thousand pounds. Besides the bill there is nothing else in the envelope. All kinds of wild notions audition in my brain. Eve has opened the bill and walked out in disgust. No wonder. My eyes slide down lists of figures, hundreds and hundreds of calls. I recognise the Shades number in London. But the other names read like a list of destinations you see in the window of a travel agency. Some of the places I have called in the past three months: Bombay, Chicago, Hamburg, Los Angeles and San Francisco (dozens of times), Oklahoma City (regularly), Poona, Tokyo, London (hundreds), Sydney, Amsterdam, Miami, Moscow, New York (lots), Paris, Basle, Geneva (regularly), Oslo, Stockholm, Singapore, Johannesburg, Beirut, Athens, Copenhagen, Bangkok, Ljubljana, Vladivostok (twice). It’s not a mistake.
Eve has seen all this. I’ve been trying to convince her that the modem thing’s a passing fad, while all the time the urge to wander has been growing, the cost getting higher. This is the first time a bill has crossed into four figures. I promised Eve that costs were on the wane, that things were coming back under control. Now she’s seen the evidence that I was lying. What has she done? Has she taken the children and gone?
I sit down at the machine. The house is empty, my family has disappeared and I sit at the machine. Can’t think of anything else to do. This is what I always do. I don’t feel right unless I am sitting here. Fingers move by sheer force of habit. I watch it happening. The number is dialled, then there is – what was it I said about Jarly? – the whistle of the modem, like a needle sliding into the brain, the moment of connection and the sweet warmth of Shades again.