by Dori Lavelle
“Get out of your damn head. And then you’ll see how much you’re capable of. You think you’re useless, but there are so many things paralyzed people can do these days. You can live a normal, happy life with no restrictions.”
“That’s what everybody keeps telling me. But I think it’s kind of easy for you guys to say, don’t you think?”
“You’re right. I’m sorry.” He pauses. “Anyway, think about the hot air balloon. If you want to do it, give me a call and I’ll contact my friend.”
I call Derrick back only two minutes after we hang up.
“That was fast.”
“You did say I should get out of my head. I’ve decided. I want to do it.”
“Great decision. I’m so proud of you, bro.”
“Be proud of me if I make it back on the ground safely. And promise me I won’t end up worse off than I already am.”
“I promise. Let me make that call.” He pauses. “When do you want to go on this ride?”
“As soon as possible before I change my mind.” I’m already finding it hard to breathe.
“Great. My friend should be able to fit you in for the first ride of the morning. I’ll see if I can get him on the phone minute.”
When Derrick calls, it’s to tell me that the first balloon ride is at 5:00 a.m. and his friend will be waiting for us.
“That’s rather early,” I say, ignoring my frayed nerves. Although I’m normally awake at that time, I thought I had at least a couple of hours to prepare myself for this.
“You have no idea how beautiful it is to watch the sunrise from up in the sky. You wouldn’t want to miss that. Make sure to wear something light.”
“Anything else I should know?”
“Breathe,” he says. “Remember to breathe. And enjoy living, bro. Let me know how it went.”
We hang up, and I wake Alice at 4:15 a.m.
She opens the door, eyes round and wide with surprise, hair rumpled. Sleepy has never looked sexier.
“Day one is about to start.” I put on a brave face. “Get dressed.”
“What are you talking about?” I wonder if she forgot about the challenge. Maybe she didn’t believe I’d actually keep my promise. The idea that she might think that strengthens me not to chicken out.
“I promised to show you how to live, remember?”
“Yes. But it’s four in the morning.” She yawns, stretching her hands above her head.
“I’m well aware.” I allow a small smile to play on my lips. It surprises me how easy it’s becoming to smile. “We’ve already lost a few hours of the day.”
“What do you have in mind for day one? A walk on the beach to watch the sun rise?”
“No. Something hopefully more exciting and a touch terrifying.” Alarm bells go off in my mind and a knot pulses in the pit of my stomach. But I refuse to give in. I have to do this for me. “Have you ever been inside a hot air balloon?”
“No.” She glares at me as though I’m out of my mind. “A hot air balloon? I thought—”
“Looks like I’m not the only one afraid of living. Get dressed. We’ll be leaving in twenty minutes.” I wheel myself away from her door with a satisfied grin on my face.
16
Alice
I’m dressed in beige shorts and a white tank top with a peach cardigan draped over it, sitting in the back of Lance’s wheelchair accessible Ford Explorer.
The streets of Cabo are quiet and deserted. The light in the night hasn’t completely lifted yet. Starting the day with Lance feels amazing. I’m finding it hard to ignore the hard knot in the pit of my stomach. I should have been honest and told him about my fear of heights. But if anyone should be afraid of heights, it’s him. The man fell off a balcony. It must be terrifying to be falling to the ground with nothing to break the fall, to experience the pain of hitting the ground. Yet, he’s leaving his comfort zone to prove to me he’s capable of having fun.
I have to find a way to enjoy myself today. It will all be fine.
“You okay?” He glances at me. “You’re awfully quiet.”
I rub the back of my neck, the soft hairs curling around my fingers. I paste on a smile. “Why wouldn’t I be? I’m about to do something most people only dream about.”
“Good. This should be exciting.”
We soon arrive at a field covered in early morning mist. Lance’s driver helps him out of the van while I stand outside the car, running my hands up and down my arms, cold even in a cardigan. A stone’s throw away, two men are unfolding something resembling a huge yellow and green tent. I watch in both awe and fear as the fabric lifts off the ground, filling with air. The tent transforms into a monster lightbulb.
The driver pushes Lance over the damp grass toward the balloon, with me tagging along, heart in my throat.
A man with a thick mustache and a ponytail shakes both our hands. The two men exchange a few words in Spanish while sweat trickles down my back.
The man says something in Spanish, his mustache stretching as he smiles. Lance says something to him.
“Roberto is asking if you’re nervous.”
I smile at Roberto. “No, I’m okay.”
Roberto nods as though he understands what I’m saying. He says something to Lance.
“He assured me we have nothing to worry about.”
“Are you nervous?” I ask Lance, when Roberto returns to the balloon to talk to his colleague.
Lance is putting on a brave face, but in the car, he’d folded and unfolded his arms repeatedly, and clutched his knees tight.
“Who? Me?” He scratches the side of his face and looks up at the sky. “I’m looking forward to this.”
“So am I.” I gaze past him at the balloon.
Roberto waves us over.
I’m barely breathing as Roberto and the other man—who is introduced to us as the pilot—help us into the large picnic basket. I don’t trust the basket. In fact, I don’t trust anything about this whole situation.
Once we’re seated comfortably, Lance bends forward and removes my cardigan, opening the buttons slowly one by one.
I harness my thoughts so they don’t get carried away. “What ... what are you doing?”
“Making you comfortable. It’s about to get hot in here.” A dimple flutters on his cheek, and my pulse skyrockets.
“Lance,” I chew the inside of my cheek. “I’m sorry I didn’t own up to it earlier, but I’m actually terrified of heights. I don’t know why; I just am.”
He rubs his hands together, his breath clouding the air between us. “That makes two of us.” He glances at the pilot, who smiles at both of us as he prepares for takeoff.
I’m touched that Lance opened up to me. I know he must be nervous about being at great heights, but I never expected him to admit it.
I gaze up at the balloon. The moment I see the fire, I understand why Lance removed my cardigan.
I’m sweating from more than the heat when the picnic basket lifts off the ground. I close my eyes and allow myself to give in, to trust. My body jerks in surprise when Lance reaches for my hand and curls his fingers around it. With Lance’s large, strong hand in mine, I forget for a moment that I’m about to go into the sky with no seat belt or life jacket to save me, that I have nowhere to run should something go wrong. Lance’s silent assurance that we will be fine is everything to me.
I tighten my hand around his and close my eyes.
Surprisingly, there’s no jolting or lurching. No sudden movements at all. The basket lifts into the air and starts to float up like a dream, bidding farewell to solid ground. The wicker basket now feels stable, but I keep my eyes shut for a long time. I’m not brave enough to see how far we would have to fall if something fails. Before we left, Roberto had told Lance that we would be rising to around three thousand feet off the ground.
For a few minutes, Lance converses with the pilot in Spanish, then he lets go of my hand. “Open your eyes,” he says to me. When I do, he points into the distance.
>
In a flash, my fear is diluted by an amazing feeling of exhilaration. The warm red and orange glow of the sun about to rise from the horizon takes my breath away. The view of the sea and mountains in the distance makes me feel as though I’m on top of the world. Lance makes me feel safe. I tip my head back and gaze and watch the fire burning.
“I had second thoughts about doing this,” Lance admits. “But this feels great.”
“Yes.” I smile. ”Yes, it really does.”
He holds my hand again as we glide weightlessly through the sky and above the clouds, floating as though we are on angels’ wings. It’s incredible that we don’t even hear the wind from inside here.
After a while, Lance picks up a large briefcase Juan had put into the basket and places it on his lap.
“Are you about to pull out a huge camera or something?”
“Nope, something else.” He flips the briefcase open. He was right. Instead of a camera, bone china and cutlery are held onto the cushioned lid by leather straps, while the bottom is filled with food in containers and ziplock bags. A bottle of sparkling water lays tucked between the containers.
“Wow. You came prepared.”
“You didn’t think I’d let you go without breakfast, did you? What kind of host does that make me?”
“That’s so sweet of you.” Tears press the backs of my eyes. This may not be a date, but it sure feels like one. I’ve had a total of four short-lived relationships in my entire twenty-nine years, but none of my ex-boyfriends had ever done anything that came close to being this romantic.
“Don’t,” he says. “Men don’t like to be considered sweet. At least, I don’t.”
“All right, then.” Laughter bubbles from me. “That’s awfully kind of you, Lance LaClaire.”
“Much better.” He proceeds to pull out fruits, cold meats, cheese, and breads.
With Lance taking care of me, my fears become even more distant. This memory is one I would keep tucked away inside a precious part of my soul, one I would remember forever. No matter where our lives take us from here, no matter how this episode with Lance ends, this moment above the clouds will remain inside my mind and heart for as long as I live.
As we enjoy our breakfast, sunlight lights up the sky. I finally get the courage to look over the basket to see the distant beauty of the world we live in—water, land, and mountains living together in harmony. I’m touched that Lance chose to do something so big, so out of his comfort zone with me.
Something inside me shifts as I look into his eyes and find myself unable to stop smiling, which is kind of hard to do while chewing.
“Looks like someone is having fun.” He bites into a sandwich. “I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself.”
“This is the best thing I’ve done in forever,” I say truthfully. “I’m not a risk taker normally.”
“And yet you came to see me ... at Crystal Lake?”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m sure you heard in the press what an angry human being I am. My doctor or my brother must have warned you before you approached me.”
I have no interest in getting between him and the important people in his life, so I keep my mouth shut.
He raises an eyebrow. “Miss Dupuis, are you aware that not answering is an answer in itself?”
“Let’s just say, Mr. LaClaire, you’re proving everything I believed about you wrong.”
“I’m glad to hear that.” He turns away to look down at the world below us. When he looks back at me, his green eyes are sparkling gems. “Do you believe now that I’m not afraid of living?”
“Not quite yet. This is the first day and the first activity. There’s still a lot of time left before I make my final decision.” Smiling, I take the glass of water he offers me. “The jury has not yet decided due to a lack of sufficient proof.”
“Of course. I guess I have to keep proving myself, then.”
“I guess you will.”
After over an hour in the air, we finally return to solid ground. The emotions I get when the basket touches the ground are both regret that the magical moment with Lance has ended, but also relief that we are safe. A feeling of sudden joy also spreads through my chest and makes my body vibrate with happiness. The feeling is so intense, it pushes me into Lance’s arms, laughter spilling from my lips.
The way he took care of me up there made me feel completely at home. I hold on a little too long, my arms around his neck. When I release him, I don’t straighten up immediately. Our faces are so close to each other, a breath away. I only need to lean forward a few inches and our lips would touch. But I don’t kiss him. Instead, I stand, increasing the distance between us. The last thing I need is for him to panic and send me away. If I mess this up now, I might never get another chance to get to know him. We ride back to his place in semi-silence, but something powerful is vibrating between us. A bond created by our shared fears earlier.
“What are we doing next?” I ask. “I’m sure you have a lot in store for me.”
“How about you choose the next activity? Maybe something you had planned to do on your own.”
I’m quiet for a long time because I don’t know how he would take this. I decide to be honest anyway. “I’d really love to see your paintings in an art gallery or museum. I heard you’re a great artist. The painting you did for Audrey is gorgeous. I ... Are there places in Cabo where I can view your artwork?”
Silence descends like a cloud between us. When I think Lance is not going to respond, and I scramble in my mind for something to say, he speaks. “Yes. There are a few art galleries in Cabo.” He leans his head back and closes his eyes. He says nothing more until we arrive at the house. Does that mean he doesn’t want me to see his work?
I leave the car feeling as though a rock is blocking my throat.
17
Alice
“A little refreshment for you, Miss Dupuis.” Valentina presses a long, slim glass of lemonade into my hands. I curl my fingers around the chilled glass.
“Is Mr. LaClaire still upstairs?” I whisper.
Valentina nods. “Still upstairs.” The smile vanishes from the older woman’s face. “Should I tell you when he comes down?”
I shake my head quickly. “No. That’s fine. Thanks, Valentina.”
She goes back into the house, and I put my sunglasses back on and continue to stare at the shimmering pool water, thoughts racing through my mind.
Lance has barely said a word to me since we got home. I really thought we bonded. He laughed and smiled and had a good time.
But the tension around the house, even when we’re not in the same room, is so hot it melts my earlier excitement at having come closer to him.
Disappointment sags through me. We’re back to square one.
I put down the lemonade and take a dip in the pool. After a few laps, my blood is pumping. I drink up the entire lemonade and lie back to enjoy the warmth of the sun on my skin. I fall asleep without planning to. A movement to my right wakes me.
Lance has joined me at the pool. His expression is stoic but not unfriendly as he wheels himself to my lounger.
“Valentina said I’d find you here. Are you having fun?” he asks, and I nod.
I need to talk to him before the wall goes back up. “Lance, I’ve been meaning to ask you something.”
“Sure, what’s going on?”
“That’s what I meant to ask you. Have I offended you in some way?”
“What makes you think that?” He frowns. Does he not notice the tension between us?
“It’s just that after we got back from the hot air balloon ride, you’ve barely spoken to me. I thought we had a lot of fun earlier.”
His chin hits his chest, but he lifts it again. His gaze holds mine. “We did have a lot of fun. I apologize if you feel I’m pushing you away. It’s not my intention.”
“Are you uncomfortable with me seeing your paintings? If that’s the case, you should say so.”
“I’m
okay with you seeing my paintings.” He clears his throat. “As a matter of fact, I’ve arranged for you to visit the Azul Art Gallery. You’ll find some of my paintings there.”
“Doesn’t Azul mean blue?”
“Yes.” He blinks. “Azul as in blue. All the paintings there honor the color blue in some way or other.”
“That sounds interesting.” I move to a seated position. His gaze sweeps the length of my body, over my full swimsuit, so quickly and discreetly I almost don’t notice. “I’d love to go.”
“Good. My driver will be ready for you at one.”
“You won’t be joining me?” My heart sinks.
“I’ll be there.” He pushes a hand through his hair. “We could combine it with lunch.”
“Sounds great. I look forward to it.” A smile smooths the earlier tension from my face.
Lance returns to his room, and after a few more minutes in the sun, I head upstairs for a shower.
Since I still have time before we leave, I call Emile. Before leaving Paris, she made me promise that I’d call her every few days to give her updates about my trip.
“Tell me everything,” she says, breathless. “What did your billionaire do to prove he’s not afraid of living?”
I lower myself to the edge of the bed. “He’s not my billionaire.”
“But you want him to be.” As excited as Emile is, one would think she’s the one dating a billionaire.
Sometimes I regret telling her everything. If things don’t work out between Lance and me, I not only have to get over the rejection myself, I’d have to go through months of Emile bringing him up, increasing the length of time it would take to heal. But she is my best friend, closer to me than Audrey had been. We have been inseparable since college, and the decision to start a business together and become roommates was so easy. We like to call ourselves soul mate friends.
“Come on, what did you do? How did it go?”
“We took a ride in a hot air balloon.”
“Oh, my God; I’m so jealous.” She pauses. “Hey, wait a minute. How did you get inside a hot air balloon? You’re afraid of heights.”