by Drake, J. L.
Pressing my lips together, I shake my head.
“Could you excuse us, please?” Cole leads me away from the group with his hand on my back, directing me to his office. Once inside away from the noise, he asks me if I’d like a drink.
“Yes, whatever you’re having,” I answer, making him stop and turn. I never ask for a brandy.
He studies me while he starts fixing our drinks, leaning against his desk while I sip my brandy a few feet away. I’m a bundle of nerves. This could go south if I’m not careful.
“Anytime you’re ready,” he prompts me. “I’ve got all night, baby.”
I sigh, taking a rather large swig of the brown liquid and feeling it burn on its descent. Sue and I discussed this at length, but I feel like I’m about to break his heart…and possibly mine.
“Now that The American is caught, Luka is dead, Lynn is in custody, my father will be soon, and the truth is finally out,” I begin, “I see my life has pretty much been a messy lie. My life has been shattered, and it’s time I pick up the pieces. Since coming back this time, I’ve been feeling all kinds of different emotions.” His face tightens a little. I can tell this is going to completely blindside him. “I need to make a change.” He downs his drink, setting it aside, and folds his arms, which flex like he’s holding back a reaction. I close my eyes, deciding to rip the Band-Aid off. “I need to move out.” Silence. My eyes flutter open to find him staring at the floor. “Cole, I need to find out who I am before I can move forward. I just need some time.” He slowly nods.
“It’s not completely safe yet. Your father—” He doesn’t look at me.
“Is being watched by the NYPD, so if he ever heads this way, they’ll let you know. I’m only moving in town, just down the street from your parents. It’s a cute little place, one bedroom, a sweet little kit—”
He suddenly stiffens. “You already found a place?”
I only nod, realizing how bad this must look. “I got a job at Zack’s. I have your parents nearby in case I get into trouble, and Melanie is my neighbor. I know this is a shock, but I really need to do this, Cole. Please understand.”
He shakes his head and looks anywhere but at me. “And where does this leave us?”
I want to make sure I use the right words. He needs to know I don’t want to break up; I love him. I just want some separate space so I can live a little, be Savannah Miller, the girl who has a dark past but is ready to face the light on her own two feet, not have someone looking after her. This house is amazing. It’s my home, but the guys are too protective. Now that the threat is pretty much gone, I’m ready to take back my life, but before I get a chance to tell him all this, he tilts my world a little more. “You know what, maybe some time apart is a good thing. I have a trip coming up, and I don’t want to have to worry about you while I’m gone.”
“Don’t want to have to worry about me?” I repeat his words, feeling the sting. “You want to break up?” I barely whisper, feeling my entire body tingle as the blood drains to my feet. His words slice me open. I know he worries about me, but I didn’t know how much he minded it.
He scoops up his glass and moves swiftly across the room, pouring himself another drink. “You seem to have everything figured out. Seems this goes hand in hand with your plan. Besides, we knew this would have to come to an end sometime. You’re a city girl, I’m a country guy. It’s not a movie, Savannah. This shit doesn’t work out. It’s not always a happy ending. You don’t belong here anymore. You don’t need our protection now.”
I stare at his back in utter shock. I’m moving to Redstone! It’s like fifteen or twenty minutes from here, not New York! I can’t even form a thought. So instead I place my glass down on a coaster and pull out the paper from my dress pocket, feeling like it is burning my hand. “Christina asked me to give you this. She said thanks for dinner.” He quickly turns as I rest the envelope against my glass. I leave before he can say another word, but I don’t miss his ‘deer caught in headlights’ look before I go. I don’t want to break up, but I’m also not going to be the woman who stands by while another woman has time with him.
The day passes in a haze, and that night at dinner the table is buzzing with news about the house’s newest recruit, Davie. He and Dell seem to be hitting it off pretty well. I wait until dessert before I share my news with the house. Keith is watching me. I think he’s worried about me leaving, but I’ll be all right. Cole is to my left, not eating, just nursing his drink. I won’t let the hurt in—yet—not until I’m behind closed doors by myself. If I show weakness now, they’ll never be okay with me leaving.
I stand, feeling slightly lightheaded, and clear my throat as the hum around the table dies and all eyes fall on me.
“What’s up, Savi?” Mike asks, cocking his head to the left.
I force a smile and start, “Umm, I just want to say thank you for everything you’ve done for me. I’ve been through a lot, and if it wasn’t for all of you, I wouldn’t have made it. But, like they say, all good things must come to an end. You caught the bad guys, and now I’m free.” I try to make a joke, but instead my eyes water. “So, I got myself a little place in town, near Daniel and Sue’s, so you will be officially Savannah-free shortly.” It’s hard to watch their faces drop and see their eyes flicking from Cole and back to me. He is staring intently at his drink.
Dell is the first to speak, breaking the painful silence. “But is it safe?”
“If she stays in Redstone, she should be fine,” Daniel says softly. “We’ll keep an eye on her. Zack will too.”
Mark shakes his head, looking pissed off. “You don’t have to go, Savannah. None of us want you to leave.”
“That’s very sweet, Mark,” I say, feeling the pain ooze through the cracks in my armor, and this makes me angry. “But I’m a city girl, remember. I don’t belong here.”
“Cole,” Mark pleads to him, “say something.”
“He’s said enough,” I interrupt, just wanting to go upstairs. “Look, everyone, you are the family I never had. I’m only in town. You’ll still see me all the time; you just don’t have to worry about me anymore. You can go back to being the heroes and knights for some other person in the world.”
Keith shakes his head at Dell, who is about to make a comment. I decide to end on a light note before I make my exit. “Just watch your back, because you never know when Agent Black will come back.”
John laughs, breaking the tension at the table. Mark smiles, but I can tell he’s not happy.
***
A glance at the clock shows it’s two a.m. Sleep just doesn’t seem to be happening for me. My bags are packed with everything Abigail got for me when I arrived at the house, and they are already loaded in the SUV. I’m not supposed to leave until tomorrow afternoon, but I need to get out now. Cole won’t speak or even look at me, and the pain is becoming too much to bear. I just want to leave now. Yes, I’m running, but this time I can’t help it. Dressing quickly and making the bed, I take one last look my room, remembering the first day I arrived here. How scared I was, how lonely I felt. I didn’t think I was going to make it. I remember the first time Cole touched me, kissed me, and made love to me in the shower. A small smile comes to my lips saying goodbye, because if I don’t smile I’ll cry, and I’m not ready to yet.
My boots seem loud as I walk down the hallway, I grab a pair of car keys out of John’s jacket, but quickly tuck them back in when I see headlights light up the entryway. I step outside just as the passenger window rolls down. I know who it is; he must have been waiting. I climb in the front seat, giving Keith a guilty smile.
“I knew you’d leave in the night.” He turns the heated seats up and heads for the first gate. I watch as the massive cabin that was once my safe house grows smaller in the mirror. A part of my heart wants to run back…but it wants Cole, not the house. But he doesn’t want me. I force my eyes to look forward. I must move forward and not look back.
***
Cole
Cole
sits on the edge of the bed, gripping the unopened letter from Christina. He knows what it says, what they always say. She wants him back, they are perfect for one another, and she can’t live without him. The fact that she gave it to Savannah makes him uneasy. He doesn’t trust Christina, and her behavior is becoming more aggressive. No doubt she was hoping Savannah would read the letter. She’d fed her a fake dinner story as it was. He wants to toss it in the fire and watch those memories of her burn away, but something stops him, and he decides to keep it along with all the others as evidence in case she tries to pull something later.
“Knock, knock,” his mother whispers at his open door. She is wearing her night robe. “May I?”
“Sure.” He watches her as she makes her way across the room and takes a seat in his leather chair next to the fire, warming her hands with a little sigh.
“Please don’t be upset with me for helping Savannah find an apartment.”
Cole tosses the letter on his nightstand and leans back against his headboard. “I’m not angry. I’m just hurt that she wants to leave me. We worked so hard to stay together, and the first moment she gets a chance to leave, she takes it.”
“You think that’s what happened?” she asks, shaking her head. “Dear, she didn’t want to leave, she had to leave.” Cole makes a face, not following. “We had a long talk over lunch today. She loves you more than anything, Cole. She left because she was feeling lost within herself. She left so she could make herself stronger so both of you could work as a couple. Don’t be selfish with her, Cole. She needs this time to find out who she is.”
Cole closes his eyes; he’s such an asshole. This is the second time he’s let his emotions get the better of him, and he lashed out at her. “I thought she was breaking up with me earlier, so I did it first,” he whispers, covering his face in shame. Fuck.
“Well, that explains it. Oh, dear, you have so much to learn about women.” She whistles and leans back in the seat.
Cole swings his legs off the bed. “Explains what?”
“Why she left in the middle of the night.”
“What?” he neatly shouts. “She’s gone?”
His mother moves to sit next to him. “Keith took her.” She places her hand on his knee, stopping him before he interrupts. “Give her a few days, Cole. Let her settle in, then go make it up to her. She’s not going anywhere. Remember, we have eyes and ears all over that town. She’ll be all right.”
Cole stares at the fire, listening to his mother and knowing she is right, but his gut is telling him to run to her, wanting to hold her tight and keep her safe. She gently rubs his back like she used to do when he was a boy. They sit for a long time, listening to the fire pop as he slowly relaxes and lets the realization settle that Savannah needs space from the house, from the guys, from him.
“She’s my everything,” he finally says with a catch in his voice. “I love her, Mom.”
“I know you do, son.” She kisses his cheek softly. “And you’ll get her back.”
“Yeah, I will.”
The End
Acknowledgments
A huge thank you to Corporal George Myatte and Officer Darcy Wood.
About the Author
J. L. Drake was born and raised in Nova Scotia, Canada, later moving to Southern California where she now lives with her husband and two children.
When she is not writing she loves to spend time with her family, travelling or just enjoying a night at home. One thing you might notice in her books is her love of the four seasons. Growing up on the east coast of Canada the change in the seasons is in her blood and is often mentioned in her writing.
An avid reader of James Patterson, J.L. Drake has often found herself inspired by his many stories of mystery and intrigue. She hopes you will enjoy her books as much as she has enjoyed writing them.
Novels by the Author
Broken (Book One, Broken Trilogy)
Shattered (Book Two, Broken Trilogy)
What Lurks in the Dark (Book One, Darkness Series)
Bunker 219 (Unleash the Undead, Anthology)
All In (Second Chances Anthology)
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