My Clarity

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My Clarity Page 12

by M. Clarke


  “Alex.” I heard a deep voice. “I won!” It happened so fast it took me a minute to register who it was. Elijah placed me down and kissed me on my lips. It was quick, but it was enough to shoot fireworks through every vein, bone, and muscle in me. That kiss had my head spinning. I was in shock and couldn’t move. I couldn’t process anything that was going on around me. Elijah won?

  Elijah was out of my sight after that. His friends dragged him away from me and what I heard next touched my heart. They started to sing and sway together with their arms on their shoulders to an old song called, “We are the Champions” by Queen.

  “Campus Karaoke,” Jonathan shouted.

  “Last one there pays,” another hollered.

  “Come on, Alex. Let’s go.” Lexy tugged my arm. “It’s going to be hell getting out of here.”

  Chapter 19

  Elijah

  What a rush! When that motherfucker hit my car, I thought I was out of the race, but I knew my brother was watching over me. Driving as fast as I could, I concentrated not just on the road, but also on what was motivating me to win. Faces flashed through my mind, but the face that stayed with me was Alex.

  I saw her beautiful smile and her pouting lips. I could still faintly smell her floral perfume from when her body fit perfectly with mine, making me feel alive. She was my incentive to get to the finish line.

  When I got out of the car, the first person I looked for was Alex. I already knew where she was standing. The crowd was cheering like mad. The women were screaming as I ran up to Alex. Along the way, I gave high fives to people that held out their hands.

  The rush of winning took over and I was acting purely on adrenalin. Alex looked so damn cute standing there all confused. I couldn’t control myself and what I did next was out of my own selfish need. After I swung her around and placed her down, I took her lips on mine. It was short and quick, but man, she tasted so good. I wanted more. Lexy gave me a strange look. I shrugged my shoulders and a group of fans whisked me away before Alex knew what had happened to her.

  After the crowd died down, I went to James, the guy who arranged the race tonight. I got my money and got out of there as fast as I could. Thank God the cops didn’t show this time. I’m sure it was a result of Seth spreading the wrong location around, while at the same time letting others know where it was really being held.

  Seth texted to let me know they were heading to Campus Karaoke and that’s where I was headed next, after I dropped off Seth’s dad’s racecar at his shop.

  Alexandria

  I didn’t know what to make of Elijah’s kiss, but I couldn’t stop thinking about his lips on mine, or how he made me feel. If I felt like that from a small peck, I wondered how I would feel from a real kiss. It made me think about my feelings toward Liam.

  The clapping when Elijah entered broke me out of my trance. Sliding into our booth after he waved, he quickly looked my way, but that was it. Suddenly I was shy and didn’t know how to act around him. After we all ordered the drinks, his group of friends took turns singing.

  “What the hell happened?” Seth asked.

  “I’m sorry about your car. I don’t know, but I’m going to make that fucker pay for the damages. That was way out of line,” Elijah replied.

  The racecar belonged to Seth?

  Seth seethed in anger. “Forget about it. That asshole is not going to give me a penny. I can help my dad fix it. Don’t worry about it. I’m just happy you won. You should have seen the look on Nolan’s face. I wish I would’ve taken a video of it and put it on You Tube. Now that would have been epic.”

  “Don’t do anything to stir him up,” Lexy intervened. “If he’s crazy enough to pull that stunt, who’s to say what he will try next? Don’t add more fuel to the fire. Well…anyways….” Lexy looked at her watch. “It’s midnight. Happy Birthday, Elijah!” Lexy shouted.

  His group of friends were already on stage. The music came on and everyone started to sing “Happy Birthday.” Right on cue, the waitress brought out the cake. I didn’t know it was his birthday. There was nothing I could do at this point, except sing along and get him something tomorrow.

  Elijah had his face in his hands while he shook his head, and then looked up. “It’s not a big deal, but thank you.” He lit that shy sexy grin I loved so much.

  After the song was finished, Elijah flashed a quick glance at me, and then blew out all the candles. Someone from the stage spoke into the mic. “Come on, birthday boy, you’re on next.”

  Elijah gave a wicked grin. “I’m not going up there alone.” He tugged Seth, and Lexy, and since I gave him the biggest struggle, he picked me up.

  “Elijah, put me down.” That is what he did, right onto the stage.

  Holding on to me so I couldn’t break free, he punched in the numbers and the music came on. The excitement grew when I realized which song he chose. I was trembling, but I couldn’t help myself. I wanted to sing and having Lexy with me helped big time. Shaking our asses to the rhythm, we started to act crazy.

  Elijah and Seth sang first. Then Lexy and I sang the female parts. It was “Summer Nights” from Grease, and I was having the time of my life. I looked at Lexy, who was looking back at me, smiling and laughing as we took turns singing. The song ended and just as I was about to get off the stage, Elijah held me back. “Not so fast.”

  I found myself being dragged back on the stage and another song began to play. Elijah started singing the song. I realized it was a duet from Grease again, “You’re The One That I Want.” My favorite song. He remembered.

  Elijah started singing Danny’s part. Holy shit! Could he have made singing that song any hotter? I’m pretty sure every girl in the room was drooling. That boy was sexy as all fuck.

  When Sandy’s part came on, I sang.

  As we both sang together, we couldn’t help but stare into each other’s eyes, smiling and dancing. I was really having fun. It was as if it was just the two of us in this room singing that song to each other. It was electrifying and just then I knew my heart was set on him.

  I gave Elijah the biggest smile when the song ended. He knew how much that song meant to me. Somehow, Elijah took that sad memory and replaced it with a happy one.

  “Happy Birthday to me,” he said, draping his arm around my shoulders and planting a kiss on my forehead. “That was the best present ever. Thanks, Alex.”

  I had no idea why he thanked me, but I didn’t want to read too much into it. He was on a high from his win and his birthday.

  Chapter 20

  Alexandria

  Whiteboard:

  Sorry! Didn’t have time to take laundry

  out of the dryer. Will tonight.

  -E

  “Liam? What are you doing here?” I asked, seeing Liam at the door, huddling from the cold with his arms crossed.

  “Didn’t you get any of my messages?” His tone was cold, gazing first at Lexy, then Seth. Elijah dropped the arm that was lazily draped on my back. Liam didn’t bother to say hello to my friends. He just looked at them as if they were nothing.

  “How long were you waiting?” I was in shock to see him unexpectedly. Not knowing what to do, I just stood there. Elijah opened the door. Lexy and Seth followed him inside.

  Liam didn’t answer my question. “Looks like you were having too much fun to check your messages.” He sounded upset, but I dismissed it.

  “Do you want to come in?”

  “Not really, but I don’t want to talk out here. I guess we need to go inside.”

  Liam followed me to my bedroom and closed the door behind him. Sitting on my bed, he stared at me as if he was waiting for me to say something. Not wanting to sit too close to him, I sat on the edge of the bed.

  “You know you have this all wrong. Elijah and I are just friends,” I said, trying to break the ice. I had no idea why those words came out of my mouth first. He didn’t ask me a question, but seeing Liam made me feel guilty for the way I felt when Elijah kissed me.

  “Di
d you find a new place? When you meet my parents during Christmas vacation, I don’t want to tell them that your roommate is a guy. My parents are traditional. They won’t approve.”

  “You want me to meet your parents?” I asked, surprised. “But you said when we meet each other’s parents it would mean we were taking the next step. Is that what you want?”

  “Yes, I do. I thought you could visit my parents with me during your break.”

  “How long would we be gone for? I need to visit my mom, too.”

  Liam started to relax. I flinched when he moved closer to me. “Come here.” He patted the space on the bed beside him. “I missed you.”

  I couldn’t reply. I was still upset with the way he ran out the door when I told him I wasn’t going to find another place to stay. Since I wasn’t moving, he pulled me into him. Like always, I gave in and let him embrace me. “How about we look at the apartments I talked about last time?” he asked sweetly, kissing my neck and running his hand up my sweater.

  His hand tenderly glided up my back, unhooking my bra while the other hand cupped one of my breasts. His lips outlined my jaw and his tongue entered my mouth. As he hungrily kissed me, he started to pull up my sweater and that’s when I pushed his hands away.

  Every time he was here, it felt like sex was the only thing on his mind. He knew I wanted to wait until we were in a steady relationship, especially since I was a virgin, but he always tried. Being away from him gave me a chance to think about what I wanted and needed. The fact that I was so comfortable around my new friends, I was beginning to see him in a new light. I wasn’t sure I wanted to be around him anymore.

  Breaking out of his hold, anger boiled inside me. Ever since we started dating, I’ve always given in to his demands. Breaking my plans with Emma, changing my clothes to look the way he wanted, even growing out my hair for him. I was hanging out with his group of friends, even though I didn’t really like them, and I had to stop talking about my dad because it would upset him. Enough was enough. Piercing my eyes at him, I gritted my teeth. “I’m not looking for another place to live.”

  He narrowed his eyes on me. “I told you I’d pay for it.”

  “I don’t want you to pay for it.” I moved as far away from him as I could.

  “You’re going to have to get used to that when we live together after I graduate.”

  “What if I don’t want to live with you? You never asked me what I wanted.”

  “Of course you do. Why wouldn’t you?”

  What did he just say? I let out a sharp breath.

  “Are you going to live here with Elijah the rest of your life?”

  I was just about to say yes to aggravate him, but then thought better of it. “What do you have against him? You don’t even know him. He’s…he’s….” I stopped.

  “I don’t like the way he looks at you. I don’t like the way he thinks you’re his.”

  “He does not. You can read minds now? How do you know what he thinks?”

  “I’m a guy. I know.”

  “You know nothing,” I stammered.

  Liam stood up looking pissed off. “What did you just say to me?”

  I don’t know why, but for the first time, he frightened me. It was the evil, dangerous look in his eyes and his domineering tone, but I didn’t care. I had enough.

  “You heard me.” I matched his tone. “You have no clue what’s going on between us. Everything is about you. What you want. What you need.”

  “That’s not true. I can’t believe you’re acting so ungrateful right now. I drove three fucking hours to see you.” His tone went up again, taking a few steps towards me.

  “It’s true. You just don’t see it. I don’t think this is going to work out between us. Every time we see each other, we’re fighting.”

  Liam looked at me as if I said the strangest thing. Then his eyes grew angry. “We keep on fighting because of him. You need to move out. I’m not going to ask again.”

  I couldn’t believe his demand. That pissed me off even more. “What we need is time apart. It—”

  Liam didn’t let me finish. His whole face flushed and his brows lifted. “What you need is to move out.”

  “You’re not listening to me,” I hollered. “You never do.” Liam was coming toward me. I didn’t want to find out what he would say or do. He had never shown me that he could be the violent type, but I didn’t want to stay to find out. I ran out of my bedroom and out the front door.

  I had nothing with me. I didn’t even know if Elijah was still home or if Seth and Lexy were still there. All I knew was that I wanted to be far away from Liam. I heard my name and then a car door slam, but I kept running, never looking back. The cold fall breeze whipped my face, but it felt good. My heart thumped and my lungs were working in overdrive. I hadn’t run this fast in a long time.

  Looking around, I rested my hands on my knees. My body was slumped over as I gasped for breath. I had no idea where I was. I had never ventured off this way before since it was not heading toward the campus. Looking around, I could hear music coming from one of the condos. I knew someone was having a party. I was just about to leave when I heard my name.

  “Alex?”

  I knew that voice. “Elijah?” He appeared out of the shadows.

  “What are you doing here?” He dropped his cigarette and crushed it with his shoe. That action brought back the bad memories of my dad. Peering around him was Heather. For some reason, that really bothered me. My heart was playing tug a war with my feelings. Sometimes I wondered what it would be like if Elijah and I were going out and other times, I didn’t care.

  “I…were you at the condo? I mean….” I started to say and lost my words.

  “We got a text from Dean. They’re having the after party at his place. I thought you were with Liam.” When he strode toward me, I saw Heather throw up her hands. Without a word, she went back inside.

  “I was, but we got into a fight.” I wanted to tell him that I had broken up with him, but decided not to. What was the point?

  “What’s he mad about this time? Sorry.” Elijah slipped his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “It’s none of my business.”

  “That’s okay. Enjoy your party. Looks like your date went back inside. She didn’t look too happy. I’m going back home now.”

  “Hold on.” Elijah took out his cell and started texting. “I’ll walk you home.”

  “No, it’s okay. Your friend is waiting for you.”

  “You can stay if you like.”

  “Thank you, but I’m tired. It’s been a long day.”

  Elijah didn’t listen. He started to walk ahead of me. “Are you coming, or do I have to walk home alone?”

  Shrugging my shoulders, I joined him.

  “It’s a beautiful night, isn’t it?” he asked, peering up at the dark sky.

  There weren’t many stars out and I wondered what he was talking about. “Might be better if there were more stars.”

  “Now, that’s where you’re wrong. You’re looking for something you don’t see, what you wish you could see, instead of focusing on what you can see.”

  I never looked at it that way. Elijah just opened my eyes. “You’re right. It is beautiful.”

  Elijah halted beneath a streetlight and turned to me. “Sometimes you see the most beauty in the fewest things.” Unexpectedly, his finger came toward my face and lightly brushed the tip of my nose. “Kind of like the freckles on your nose.”

  “What?” I shivered, unnerved by his words. “My freckles? Yuck. I don’t like them.”

  “I think they’re cute. They’re very faint, so most people wouldn’t notice, but I’ve seen you up close many times.”

  Elijah made me flush with warmth. “Thank you.” It was all I could say. Did Liam even know I had freckles on my nose?

  “So, Freckles, tell me about your dad,” he said out of the blue, walking forward again.

  “Did you just call me Freckles?” I giggled.

  “I s
ure did. It’s your new nickname. We all have a nickname, except for you. I even call Lexy, Lexus, sometimes.”

  I laughed lightly, dismissing what he had said, then got back to his question. “I’m not sure what to tell you or where to begin. You already know enough about him. How about you tell me about your brother?” As soon as I said the words, I regretted them. It was a slip of the tongue.

  Elijah stopped and turned to me. “My brother? Who told you I had a brother?” He sounded upset.

  Not wanting to point the finger at Lexy, I had to think fast. “I saw your photos that night when I slept in your bed.” I gulped when I said those words. It sounded so naughty and intimate.

  Elijah started walking faster, leaving me behind and ignoring my question.

  “Elijah, I’m sorry,” I said out loud, jogging, trying to catch up to him. Then…THUMP! I fell flat on my face. Thank God it was on the grass. My foot dipped into a hole.

  “Alex, are you hurt?” Elijah reached for me, helping me dust off the new cut grass residue.

  “I’m okay,” I mumbled, slapping off the areas he shouldn’t touch. Standing there, our eyes locked in place. I saw so much pain in them as he searched for words.

  My body quivered when his hand reached for my face. He moved his hand tenderly, as if he was touching the most delicate, precious thing. He glided his thumb around my cheek. At first, I thought my face was full of grass, but I was wrong…very wrong.

  It seemed like time had stopped as we stood there. Though we were engulfed in almost complete darkness, the streetlights gave enough light for me to see his glistening eyes. I couldn’t tell if they were tears or just the light that made his eyes twinkle like the stars.

  “Alex,” Elijah whispered softly, continuing to caress my cheek tenderly. His lips parted to speak, but then he closed them. His eyes blinked slowly before drilling into mine. “My brother….” He paused. “He died from Leukemia. He was only thirteen years old. I couldn’t save him. I wasn’t a donor match. They couldn’t find one in time. I wish I could’ve saved him.” Every word he spoke, I felt his ache gripping my heart.

 

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