“I promised Jared I would wake you up. Rambling isn’t working, maybe I should sing.” I took a deep breath. “‘Oh, Lord, it’s hard to be humble, when you’re perfect in every way.’” I warmed up and really got into it. ‘“Can’t wait to look in the mirror, ‘cause I get better lookin’ each day.’”
“What are you doing?” a voice hissed behind me.
I jumped and spun to face the intruder. A fuzzy-haired woman with a long nose and no lips stared at me.
“Um, sorry. My brother told me to wake her up. El likes it when I sing.”
The nurse folded her arms across her starched blue scrubs. “She needs to rest, missie, so pipe down.”
Missie? I marched up to the woman and said, “My brother told me to wake her up so I’m going to sing until she wakes up.” I leaned in until she could smell my watermelon-flavored gum. “I’m going to sing my flipping heart out.”
The nurse backed up a step. “You’ve only got thirty seconds left of your visiting time.”
“Then I’ll make it good.” I shut the door, stunned at how I was standing up to authority today. I finished my song, albeit in a quieter tone. When I heard the door crack I gave Raquel a soft kiss on the cheek. “I’ll be back soon.” I swung the door open wide and said to the stern nurse, “Thank you for taking care of her.”
She gave me a nod. I pranced out of ICU but reality hit as I neared my brother. Raquel was in trouble. My singing wasn’t going to make a difference. My dad waited for me, his arm circling Jared’s shoulder.
I ran to hug my dad, but fear laced the embrace. “What are you doing here? You can’t risk yourself like this.”
Dad’s face contorted in anger. He stuck his chest out. “Let them shoot me. I’m not going to hide away while they hurt my family.”
My heart constricted as my dad’s last phrase sunk in. “Hurt your family? You think Muscle Man did this?”
Dad cracked his knuckles, his lips thinning into a grimace. “The police said it was a hit and run. Eyewitnesses described the same men that chased you and me.”
Jared’s angry expression matched my dad’s. “They think they’re some kind of trained killers. Just wait until I get a hold of them.”
I nodded. “They’d better hope it’s you instead of me.”
* * *
I punched F4 on the vending machine, knowing the Snickers wouldn’t fix anything, but it was preferable to dying of hunger.
“Need some nourishment so you can run the halls of the hospital?”
I whirled to face the owner of that deep voice. The candy plunked to the bottom of the machine. All I could see was Jesse. My breathing became irregular. He filled out his scrubs in a way I’d never seen. “You actually are a doctor.”
Jesse grinned. “Every once in a while I dress up as one. What are you doing here?”
For a brief moment I’d forgotten about Raquel lying in a hospital bed. I swallowed and turned away, bending to retrieve my Snickers. “My sister-in-law was in a wreck,” I mumbled.
Warm fingers encased my upper arms and gently spun me to face him. My candy fell to the industrial carpet. I didn’t pick it up. Jesse’s eyes were so full of concern I had to study his chin to avoid bawling for the tenth time today.
“How serious?” he asked.
“It’s bad.” I sniffled.
“Who’s her doctor?”
“Magona.” I allowed myself to look up at him. His dark-chocolate gaze melted me. I swayed, grateful he held on.
Jesse pulled me against his chest, rubbing my back and murmuring comforting words, “Magona’s one of the best. She’ll be okay.” Holding me close, he ushered me down a quiet hallway before continuing to give me a hug for the memory books.
Tears spilled over. Jesse gently kissed the wetness off my cheek. I trembled, turning my face towards his and taking advantage of his mouth, desperate to stay close to him and forget about everything else. The salt of my tears mingled with the sweet taste of Jesse.
A few minutes flew by in this wonderful position before Jesse whispered against my mouth, “I know this isn’t the time, but I’ve got to tell you.” He paused then the words rushed out, “I don’t want you around that redheaded guy.”
I leaned away from him and glared, had he really just interrupted that kiss and his opportunity to comfort me because of some issue he had with Damon? “That is the dumbest interruption of a kiss I’ve ever heard. I’m sick of you warning me. If you have some reason I shouldn’t be with Damon, spill it.”
Jesse’s jaw clenched. He released his hold on me. “I can’t give you a specific reason. It’s just a feeling.”
I could hardly breathe, the loss of his embrace was like a physical pain. Through sheer force of will I converted my craving to touch him into anger. “A feeling? I’ve had feelings too.” I poked a finger into his chest. “About you, but you’ve done nothing to make it work.”
“Oh, Cassidy.” His eyes warmed, but unfortunately he didn’t reach out to me with those brawny, tattooed arms. “I want to be with you, but you don’t understand.” He jammed a hand through his dark hair. “I’ve been . . . busy.”
“Busy?” I guffawed and folded my arms across my middle. “If you want to be with me, why don’t you act like it?”
Jesse studied the beige walls. “If there’s anyone less worthy of you than Damon . . . it’s me.”
“What kind of garbage is that? Grow some confidence.”
Jesse exhaled. “Confidence has nothing to do with it.” Shaking his head, he looked at me as if it were the last time he would get the chance. “You don’t understand. I can’t tell you what I’m about,” his mouth twitched, “but I wish you’d listen to me and stay away from Damon.”
I couldn’t handle the begging in his gaze and I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of saying I’d stay away from Damon. My eyes dropped to his chest. A small nametag was attached to his scrubs. “Dr. Jesse Panetti?” My body chilled.
His throat bobbed as he swallowed. “Yes.”
I focused on his eyes, but now he was staring at the top of my head. He couldn’t possibly be related to that Panetti. “Are you related to,” my voice cracked, “N-Nick Panetti?”
“Oh, Cassidy.” He shook his head, clenching his fist. “He’s my father.”
I shrunk into myself. “No. You can’t be. Your dad tried to,” I blinked several times and managed to whisper, “kill my dad.”
Jesse closed his eyes for a minute. “Yes, he did.”
I backed away several steps. Jesse’s strong fingers wrapped around my arm. He wasn’t hurting me, but I definitely couldn’t escape.
“Cassidy, I am nothing like my father. Nothing. I’m on Nathan’s side.” If I’d thought his eyes were begging me before, now they were on their knees pleading. “I would never hurt you or your family.”
I jerked my arm away. Thankfully, he released me so I didn’t have permanent damage. “How can I believe that?” I whispered. “Now I know who your father is, he’s still trying to hurt my dad.”
Two male orderlies walked down the hallway. They cast furtive glances our way. Jesse nodded as they passed, waiting until we were alone again before saying, “I know exactly what my father is doing. Why do you think I’m trying to protect you?”
“So that’s why you’re always around?” My heart sunk. He was here to protect me, not because he cared. “Stalking me. Showing up to help me all the time. Warning me against Damon?” I gasped. “Wait. Is Damon one of . . . you?”
Jesse’s jaw hardened. “No. I just don’t like the guy.”
I couldn’t process all this awful information. “Please, just stay away from me.” I wished I actually meant it. How could I have fallen for a Panetti? The son of the man who had tried and was still trying to kill my dad?
“Cassidy.” He reached out a hand, but thankfully didn’t touch me. “You trusted me until you knew my last name.”
“No.” I shook my head. “I never trusted you.” I felt wetness building behind my eyeli
ds. “I just wanted you.”
Jesse’s hand didn’t stop this time. He caressed my cheek. I leaned into his hand, wishing I could fling myself into his arms but knowing now Jesse and I couldn’t be together. Finally, I accumulated enough strength to jerk my face away and pivot from him.
“You’re going to trust me, Cassidy,” he said to my back.
I didn’t look at him. One dose of those eyes and I might cave. “I doubt that very much,” I said, before dragging myself away.
* * *
“How long do we have to wait and watch?” Terry whined. “We’re on a time limit here. Give me a sniper rifle and I’ll kill him already.”
“You gonna march into that hospital and plug him? There are probably FBI all over the place.” Al nodded at the emergency room exit door. They’d seen Nathan sneak in a few minutes ago, but they’d been two seconds too late and missed the opportunity to grab him.
“You’re just brilliant, Ter. Why don’t you just ask the police to cuff you and put you away until Ramirez’s men come for you?” Al blew all his air out. “You’ve got to think. That was such a stupid hit you did on the daughter-in-law. Someone could identify us. We’re lucky we could change vehicles and there weren’t any police around. Ramirez isn’t going to be happy if he hears about this mess.”
“I had to do something. You think you’re so smart. I’m sick of worrying about the FBI catching us.” Terry’s voice rose to a heinous wail. “Ramirez is going to kill us!”
Al gritted his teeth and clenched his fists. “No, he’s not.”
The air in the cab of the Chevy truck was charged with tension. Al considered turning Terry over to the authorities and finishing the job himself. Two million dollars all his own. It almost made him smile.
“I’m sorry,” Terry muttered. “I’m sorry.”
Al watched his partner. Terry knew when he’d pushed too far.
“I know this isn’t your fault,” Terry continued. “I just want it to be over. Let me shoot the doc when he walks out that door.”
Al exhaled. The apology helped, a little bit. He gestured out the window. “We have to ship the body back. The FBI and local police have been watching for us the past few weeks. You shoot him and try to retrieve that body and you’ll be arrested in seconds. Do you really want to screw up our last chance?”
Terry gulped. “Do you really think Ramirez barbecues people who fail him?”
Al shrugged, ignoring the lurch in his gut. “I think people talk.”
“I’ve heard it from more than a few people. Some who’ve been at his parties and been forced to eat the barbecue. Maybe we should just grab the girl again and use her as a hostage.”
An idea formed in Al’s mind. A genuine smile appeared on his face. “Maybe. She could be our ticket.” He clapped Terry on the shoulder. Terry winced. “Good idea. Cassidy Christensen is going to help us kill her dad.”
* * *
I grabbed my dad and dragged him away from the family. When we were far enough away that no one could see or hear us, I turned and faced him. “I just saw Jesse.”
Dad’s eyebrows rose. “Jesse?”
“Panetti.” Saying the name gave me chills. How could Jesse be that monster’s son? How could I still long to be with him?
Dad took several breaths before muttering, “How do you know Jesse Panetti?”
“I met him several months ago. He just always seems to be there when I need him.”
My father’s face paled. “They told me he’d had contact but they promised it was minimal.”
Contact? I blushed just thinking about the contact Jesse and I had shared. “Dad . . .” I had to admit the truth, about my feelings anyway, no way was Dad going to find out from me just how close I’d been to Jesse Panetti. “I really like him.” My cheeks warmed. “I’m sorry. I know that’s wrong, but I still do.”
Dad was shaking his head, not looking at me or answering. Was he disappointed in me or terrified of me being around Jesse? “Dad.” I grabbed his hand. “Who is Jesse? Who is he really?”
He focused on my face. “He’s a double operative, just like his father was. He’s very smart in what he does. I can’t believe he’d risk himself to become involved with you.”
The tears that hadn’t stopped since Raquel’s accident spilled over again. Dread enveloped me. I felt heavier than Nana’s roll dough. “He works for his dad?”
Dad shrugged. “I don’t know.”
I stared in disbelief.
“I really don’t, sweetheart. My contacts in the FBI believe Jesse is on our side. He provides them with information about the whereabouts of the slaves and has been instrumental in freeing many, but he still hasn’t delivered his dad.” He shook his head. “We thought Jesse’s dad was on our side. I met him here at the hospital. We became friends and then joined together to eradicate human trafficking. A few years later Panetti showed his true loyalties and stuck a knife in me.”
All the times Jesse had been there to help me flashed through my mind. Our dads had originally been friends, just like Jesse had claimed to be my friend. “The FBI claims Jesse is helping them,” I said, “so he has to be on our side.”
Dad smiled sadly. “The fact is he’s double-crossing his dad and Ramirez. He might not survive long enough for you to worry about.”
I felt like my dad had just jabbed a knife in my gut. “But what if I . . . care about him?”
Dad’s head jerked up. “Stay away from him, Cassidy.”
I glared. Now that I knew what Jesse was doing, his absences and confusing statements all made sense. He truly was trying to protect me, risking himself to do it, and now my dad was telling me to stay away from him?
Dad placed a heavy hand on my shoulder. “Don’t do this. I’m not just being over-protective. Jesse Panetti is dangerous. Even if his intentions are good, he’s still dangerous to you because of the risks he’s taking. Promise me you’ll stay away from him.”
Could I really promise that? When I first discovered Jesse’s last name I thought it would change how I felt about him, but I was wrong. I still wanted to spend every minute with Jesse, figuring out who he really was and developing a real relationship.
“Cassidy.” Dad squeezed my shoulder. “Honey, you’ve got to promise me. I don’t ask much of you, but I have to ask this. Promise you won’t seek out Jesse Panetti.”
“For how long?”
“Forever!”
I shook my head. “Not going to happen.”
“Oh, Cassie.” He sighed, staring at the floor for several minutes before saying, “At least stay away from him until we figure this mess out.”
I’d never seen my father so desperate for me to agree. I could at least give him a little reassurance. I’d already told Jesse to stay away from me, I needed time to sort out my feelings, and I’d never forgive myself if something happened to my dad or Jesse because I’d been obstinate. I swallowed once and muttered, “Okay.” Silence reigned for several minutes before I asked, “What about Damon? Jesse keeps warning me away from him.”
“Damon?” Dad rolled his neck slowly from one side to the other. “All our information shows Damon is exactly who he says. He has no connections to Ramirez or Panetti.” He frowned. “But Jesse may know something I don’t. Stay away from Damon until I give you the go-ahead.”
I nodded. Blackness clouded my mind. My father was taking away the two men I was interested in. The thought of never having Jesse touch me again cloaked me with despair.
Dad gave me a minute before wrapping his fingers around my hand. “Here I thought I was protecting you and you’ve been in contact with Jesse Panetti.” He shivered as he said the name. “Anybody else I should know about?”
He said it half-jokingly but there was someone. “Hot Redhead keeps bugging me. I think she just wants Damon but there’s something weird about that chick.”
“Hot Who?”
I waved a hand. “I call her Hot Redhead. Her name is Elizabeth.”
“A pretty redhead?
” Dad’s brow furrowed. He released his grip on me. “Named Elizabeth?”
“Uh-huh.” I studied him, wondering why I’d felt the need to unload more stress, but he seemed surprisingly relaxed in the face of another bad guy.
Dad smiled. “Don’t worry. I’ll take care of Hot Redhead.”
“But how can you”
Dad cut me off. “Honey. Your marathon’s a week from today.”
My stomach jumped. “Uh-huh.”
“Are you ready?”
“Yes, but . . .” I had to be the bigger person. “I’m not going to run it.” I gestured towards Raquel’s room. “With everything that’s happened, I just can’t do it. I can’t be the reason that Muscle Man gets you.”
“I want you to run it. You’ve worked so hard.” He exhaled slowly. “Too many times I’ve kept you in the dark because I thought it would protect you.” He glanced up at me. “You’re so strong now, Cassie. I should’ve let you know I was alive. I’m sorry.”
I swallowed, blinking quickly. I gave my dad a hug. “Thanks. I know you were just trying to protect me.”
Dad cleared his throat then continued, “I want you to understand the situation. Four FBI agents will follow us to St. George. Two will follow you throughout the marathon, two will stick with me. They’ll also alert the local police to be on the lookout, but that force will be overwhelmed by the marathon.”
“Tell me the truth. If I run this marathon am I putting you in more danger?”
Dad shook his head. “No.” He barked an insincere laugh. “Some of the FBI believe it’s a great way to force a showdown. Like you’re some kind of dangling carrot.” He glanced up at me. “I’m not going to let anything happen to you, but I’m afraid they’re right. There will be so many people, so many unknowns. This will be the best opportunity Ramirez’s men have to strike. Are we brave enough, Cassidy?”
I looked at my dad’s strong chin, his hazel eyes, his mouth that used to laugh so easily. I closed my eyes and pictured Raquel bruised and beaten. My brother watching his beloved wife in anguish. Poor little Tate afraid and crying for his mom. Was I brave enough to run this marathon and bring Muscle Man out to fight? If I didn’t risk it, was I betraying Raquel, my dad, and my mom’s memory?
Dead Running Page 20