Accidental Bride (Beaufort Brides #3)
Page 15
“No, it’s not.”
“Yes, it is.” He reached out to take her hand. “You were right before. I was trying to manage this marriage all on my own. I should have told you the truth before. I should have told you from the very beginning.”
She shook her head. His words were earnest, honest, Peter-like, but they didn’t make her feel better. “The whole thing was because of me—because I got so stupidly drunk that night.” She pulled her hand out of his. “But that doesn’t change the fact that things are still a mess between us, and they’ll probably never get put back together.”
She’d been staring up at him from where her head rested on a pillow, but now he stretched out beside her. There wasn’t much room between her body and the edge of the bed, so he ended up very close to her, turned toward her on his side. “I don’t believe that.”
She tried to turn away from him, since his face so close to hers was sending her heart, her senses, into a tailspin. But she couldn’t make herself pull away. “I do.”
He reached out to stroke her cheek, very gently. “I know you do.”
“You said…you said that we would stay friends, no matter what.”
“I remember.”
“I don’t know how we can still do that now.”
“We’ll just make sure we do.”
“It’s not that easy. You want…want more.”
He wrapped an arm around her, sliding his hand slowly down her back. “And what do you want?”
“I don’t know.”
“So it’s okay.”
“It’s not okay. I really hurt you before. You can’t tell me I didn’t.”
“I’m fine, Kelly. I’m not going to let you go, no matter what. You’re not going to lose me.”
“I feel like I already have.”
He leaned forward until his lips were just a breath away from hers. “Well, you haven’t.”
It was exactly what she wanted to hear. And his warm, strong, familiar body was exactly what she wanted to feel. Her mind exploded in need and relief as he pulled her head toward him enough to kiss her.
The kiss wasn’t hard or deep or urgent. It was so soft, so tender, just the lightest brush of his lips against hers. It felt so good she moaned softly at the back of her throat.
“You’re not going to lose me, baby,” he murmured, his lips sliding over her cheek. “I promise.”
She gasped in pleasure at the words, the touch, and wrapped both of her arms around him.
They kissed for a long time, nothing more than the brushing of lips, the light flickering of tongues. And emotion grew stronger and deeper in her chest, her throat, her eyes, until she felt too full, achingly full, as if one more feeling would cause it all to spill over.
She was so overcome that she was hardly conscious of Peter turning her over onto her back, slowly taking off her clothes, starting to kiss his way down her body. Before she knew what was happening, he was nuzzling between her legs, and she was clutching at his hair as he brought her to climax with his lips and tongue.
She shuddered through the waves of sensation and was surprised to realize that tears were streaming from her eyes.
Peter moved back up her body until his weight was pressed down onto hers. He kissed away her tears. “I’m still your friend, Kelly. Even if everything else changes, that won’t. I just want to be your husband too.”
She couldn’t help but love the sound of those words, the idea of Peter as her husband—not just an accidental fluke, but a reality for the rest of her life. She held onto him tightly as he kissed her mouth with more urgency than before.
His body was tight now with arousal. She could feel the bulge in the front of his pants, rubbing against her hip. With the sudden need to feel him all the way, she started to fumble at the button and zipper of his pants. He was still mostly clothed, but she couldn’t wait to take off the rest of his clothes. As soon as she felt his erection in her hands, she spread her thighs and tried to move him into position.
He was panting loudly, his body so tense it was almost shaking, as he used his hand to ease himself inside her. She was deeply aroused, wet and pliant, and she cried out as she felt him inside her.
He used his hands to lift her thighs so she would wrap her legs around him, and then he turned them over onto their sides. It was perfect, beautiful, trapped in the most intimate of embraces, touching everywhere, feeling him everywhere. And then he kissed her again.
He couldn’t really thrust in this position, but he started to move his hips, and she matched his motion as best she could. There was nothing at all between them—nothing in the world—and she’d never experienced anything so powerful.
She was so high on emotions that she wasn’t even aware of her body building up toward a climax, but it was—very slowly. Peter wasn’t rushing, wasn’t pushing them toward the end. All of his touches were tender, loving, making her feel safe. Protected. Adored.
Her orgasm surprised her, since she hadn’t been aware it was coming. She froze and then shook through the spasms, her cry of release lost in his mouth. As soon as she clamped down around him, he lost his control, and his climax took him just after hers.
They were still holding onto each other as their bodies relaxed, and he kept kissing her—very softly now.
“I love you, Kelly,” he said at last. “And that’s never going to change.”
“I love you too,” she admitted, knowing it was the truth. “But I’m really scared.”
“I know you are.” He released a long breath as he let her go. They hadn’t used a condom, so she felt a gush of wetness between her legs as he pulled out. “But maybe you can think about it. I want you to be with me in Eden Manor, and I’m always going to want that. Maybe it wouldn’t mean turning your back on everything else in your life.”
His words reminded her of home—the old house, her grandmother, her sisters, the Kelly she’d always been—and with the images came a familiar spiral of deep fear. They’d been her security all her life, her identity. Without them, she’d be throwing herself off a cliff, having no idea what was waiting at the end of the drop.
“I’ll think about it,” she said.
He relaxed, smiling as he kissed her one more time. “There’s no rush. I’m not going anywhere.”
But that wasn’t true. In a few weeks, he’d probably be moving up here, as long as the sale went through and Harrison Damon approved of the business plan and wanted to invest.
There was an end date fast approaching. The knowledge used to be a comfort, but now it terrified her even more.
Peter turned his head to look at the clock. “I’ve got to meet the first contractor in twenty minutes. I need to get going. Did you want to come with me?” He’d arranged to meet with three different contractors in the area this evening, so he could put hard numbers into the business plan.
She’d been planning to be with him, so she could hear the appraisals and ideas and give him her input. But she couldn’t seem to move, much less make herself get up, get dressed, and get back into the car to think about renovations.
“I think I’ll stay here, if that’s okay,” she said, searching his face for any sign of disappointment. “I need to…to process everything.
“That’s fine.” He smiled at her. “Process all you want.”
She smiled back at him, doing her best to hide the fear that was rising inside her. She must have been mostly successful, since Peter looked relaxed, sated, almost happy as he pulled his clothes back together and slid on his shoes.
He leaned over the bed to kiss her again before he left.
When the door closed behind him, she hugged herself, wondering when she’d started trembling.
In Peter’s arm, she’d felt so good, so loved, so much more than she’d ever felt. But also so vulnerable, so naked.
She’d always known that losing Peter would be too much to take, but now she realized it would utterly break her. If she committed herself to him, fully the way he wanted, then he would becom
e the center of her world, everything would rest in him.
Her world would be remade.
She sat up in bed, squeezing herself with her arms, so scared it made her dizzy. She needed to go home, to what she knew and had always loved, where things didn’t change in such terrifying ways, where she knew exactly what to expect.
Without even making a decision, acting only on instinct, she scrambled out of the bed and pulled her clothes back on.
Then she found her phone, looked up a number, and called a taxi to take her home.
Peter would be a few hours with the contractors.
She’d be halfway home by the time he came back.
She couldn’t let herself think about what he’d feel when he returned to an empty room. She would call him. She would explain.
But she’d always been a Beaufort, and she couldn’t be anyone else.
***
“Wait a minute,” Deanna said, leaning forward on the love-seat near the fireplace. “Wait a minute, slow down. I know you’re upset, but it sounds like you’re being stupid.”
Kelly had arrived home after nine in the evening. Grandmama was already upstairs in bed, but Rose was staying at the house that night so she’d still been up. She’d taken one look at Kelly and had immediately called Deanna to come over too, since there was obviously a crisis.
Kelly had tried to explain to her sisters what had happened, since she was too emotionally battered to hold anything back. She was really glad her sisters were both here, but she didn’t appreciate your sister’s blunt assessment of her situation.
“I’m not being stupid,” she said, taking off her glasses to rub at her eyes. She wasn’t really crying. She was more numb than anything else now. “I really don’t think I can do it. I can’t live the life he wants me to live. I can’t be the person he wants me to be.”
“He wants you to be his wife,” Rose said quietly. She’d always been milder than Deanna. “I don’t think that’s unreasonable.”
“Of course, it’s not unreasonable. But it’s not who I am. He wants me to live up north in Eden Manor. He wants me to leave Savannah and be an entirely different person. It’s not who I am.”
Deanna was frowning, clearly trying to understand. “I thought you’d always wanted to run a B&B or something like that. Isn’t that what you always talked about?”
“Yes, but not in North Georgia. Not as Mrs. Blake. Not when it means I have to leave...everything.”
Rose and Deanna were both silent for a minute, looking between each other and Kelly. Then finally Deanna’s face cleared, as if she had come to an epiphany. “Oh my God, Kelly! You are just like Grandmama!”
Kelly gasped and stiffened her shoulders. “I am not!”
“Yes, you are,” Deanna said, almost laughing now. “You are so exactly like her. You’re afraid of things changing. You want to stay safe in a familiar world that feels secure to you. Why do you think Grandmama surrounds herself with all these dusty old collections and refuses to give up the Pride? She doesn’t want anything to change. And that’s exactly what you’re doing too.”
“I am not,” Kelly said, frowning. “It’s totally different. I don’t stuff my dead pets or anything. I just want to stay in Savannah and be who I’ve always been. What’s wrong with that?”
“Nothing is wrong with it,” Rose said, more gently than her sister. “It’s totally understandable. And, if it was what you really wanted, then we’d completely support you. But I don’t think it’s really what you want. I think you’re using it as an excuse, because you’re afraid of doing what you really want. You want to be with Peter. You’ll never convince me that you don’t. You want to try something new, something risky, something that would stretch you in ways you’re not normally stretched. But you’re afraid. It’s normal. I don’t blame you. But it’s not like you to let fear keep you from doing what you want.”
“It’s not just that. I’m happy here. I’ve been…I’ve always been happy. And I love Grandmama and both of you so much. I don’t want to leave. What if it’s…what if it’s not as good?”
Deanna’s expression changed. She wasn’t laughing anymore. “You were so little when Mom and Dad died,” she began, slightly hoarse.
“What?” Kelly blinked, not following the change in topic but affected emotionally just the same.
“You were little. You probably don’t even remember them.”
“Not much. Just…just flashes.”
“I remember them. I was ten. I remember what it was like when our whole world fell apart, and we had to completely start again with Grandmama. Our new life was completely different, but we made it into something good. Even with all the strangeness, we’ve been happy.”
Kelly nodded, her throat too tight to speak. Rose brushed a tear away.
“But things always change. And that usually means there’s some loss. But you’ll have something to replace it. You’ll have Peter. And you’ll have this brand new project to pour yourself into, doing what you’ve always wanted. That’s what you really want to do, isn’t?”
Kelly nodded again. Of course, Deanna was right. She was usually right about everything. “But Grandmama…”
Rose leaned forward. “You’ve taken care of her for years, and you’ve taken care of this house. We know she relies on you, but she wants the best for you, just like we do. We can figure something else out.”
“She can’t be alone.”
“She won’t be alone,” Deanna said. “We can hire someone to stay with her.”
“She’d hate to have a nurse or—”
“Not a nurse. We could hired someone to take care of things and call her a companion, like they did in the nineteenth century. Grandmama would love that. I’m sure we could work it out.”
“But that would be so expensive.”
“Rose and I can cover it. It won’t be any trouble at all. And you can contribute too, as soon as you and Peter start making a go of it.” When Kelly started to object, Deanna went on, “Seriously, Kelly. You’ve done so much for her, for so long. Far more than Rose and I have. It’s our turn now. Let us do something for her…and for you.”
Kelly couldn’t believe she was actually crying. She had to wipe a few years off her cheeks. “So I should really…really leave?”
She couldn’t remember a time when she hadn’t lived in this old house, surrounded by so many collected treasures from the Beauforts of the past. She loved them. All of them. She loved Savannah. And she loved her grandmother most of all.
“If that’s what you want,” Rose said. “If you want to stay married to Peter.”
Kelly stared down at the ring on her finger. Peter’s signet ring. Far too big for her finger. She turned it around so the Blake crest was showing.
There was nothing she wanted more than to be Peter’s wife, even if it meant leaving other things she loved behind.
“What is going on here?” Grandmama demanded imperiously, after throwing open the door to the parlor.
All three of the sisters looked up in surprise.
“It is late. You should all be in bed.” Their grandmother stepped into the room, her eyes pinning each of them in turn. Her gaze ended up on Kelly. “And I thought you had left me for that gad-about husband of yours.”
“He’s not a gad-about.” Kelly wasn’t even sure what a “gad-about” was, but it didn’t sound flattering, and she didn’t want Peter to be called it.
“Yes, he is. He’s a bad influence on you, young lady. He causes you to forsake all of the Beaufort heritage. You would do well to be rid of him.”
Kelly sucked in an indignant breath. “I’m not going to get rid of him. I love him. I’m not going to leave him. And you need to stop treating him that way.”
Her grandmother narrowed her eyes. “Is that what you’re telling me?”
“Yes, that’s what I’m telling you. He’s my husband, and he’s going to stay that way. You’re going to have to get used to it.”
“And I suppose you’re going
to let him take you away from here, whisk you away from your home to some uncivilized region up north.”
“It’s not uncivilized. It’s just North Georgia. And, yes, I’m going to move. I’m going to move with him.” Kelly realized what she’d just announced to her grandmother. She shouldn’t have done it so bluntly. It was going to be hard for Grandmama. She should have tried to tell her more gently. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to tell you like that. But, yes, I’m going to move.”
Grandmama tsked her tongue and looked from Kelly to Rose to Deanna. Then her eyes returned to Kelly. “I was starting to wonder if you’d ever come to your senses.”
“What?” Kelly’s eyes widened as she processed what her grandmother had said.
“I thought you would never come to your senses. It certainly took you long enough to make up your mind. You have always been the most stubborn of my granddaughters.” Then, as if she hadn’t dropped this bombshell, she turned to Rose and Deanna. “I assume you two will arrange for a way for me to remain in our house. I will not leave.”
“Of course, you won’t have to leave the house,” Rose said. “We’ll work everything out.”
Kelly was still trying to keep up. “You mean…all this time…I thought you hated Peter.”
“Nonsense. He’s a Blake, isn’t he?” Grandmama stepped over and lifted a hand to pat Kelly’s cheek. “I know how to manage my granddaughters, and you needed more than a gentle nudge in the right direction.”
Twelve
A half-hour later, Kelly was about to leave the house to return to Peter. Deanna had called the car service Mitchell used, and a driver had come to pick Kelly up.
But, as she was stepping out the door, a familiar car roared down the street, turning into the driveway, so quickly she was afraid it wouldn’t stop before it hit the hired car.
When it jerked to a stop, a few inches before it tapped the other car, Peter jumped out and ran up the front walk toward her.
“Kelly!” His face was flushed and damp with perspiration, his expression urgent. “Kelly, I’m sorry.”