by Lylah James
The only way that I could block the memories of what Alberto did to me every night was by losing myself in music. The rhythm. The soft and gentle sounds that came through the keys.
As I got closer to the piano, my heart started to beat faster. I knew I shouldn’t have been there but I couldn’t stop myself. I stopped in front of the bench and leaned forward, placing my hand gently on the piano keys.
My fingers were itching to play. Just one song.
But I couldn’t. I was told not to come into this room, except for cleaning. Softly moving my fingers over the keys, I made sure I didn’t press down.
With a heavy sigh, I stepped away, my hand falling from the piano. Giving it a final sad glance, I walked away, my body turning into itself with desolation. Closing my bedroom door behind me, I leaned against it with a sigh and then shut my eyes tiredly. The lights were off, except for the tiny lamp on my nightstand.
While talking with Lena, I also found out that I was the only maid who didn’t live in the maids’ quarters. We were both surprised by it, but could I really question Alessio’s decision? I didn’t think so.
I started to undress, slowly removing my dress, my body languid. Throwing the black dress on the nightstand, I reached blindly for my night shirt on the bed.
Just when I was about to put it on, a deep rough voice came from behind me.
“I have to say, you have a lovely body.”
I shrieked loudly and swiveled around toward the voice. I tried to focus on the intruder, but he was effortlessly hidden in the darkness.
I didn’t have to see him to know who it was.
I knew that voice. My body knew that voice.
Alessio.
I took a step back in fear, my nightshirt pressed against my body, hiding my nakedness from his eyes. Shaking from head to toe, I swallowed hard and my stomach started to cramp in fear—maybe in anticipation too.
Suddenly, the lights were on. I had to blink a few times to adjust my eyes.
Alessio was sitting in my sofa chair, leaning back comfortably. His left ankle was crossed on top of his right knee and there was a small remote in his hand, which he probably used to turn on the lights.
He wasn’t wearing a suit. But he did have his black slacks on and a black linen shirt, which was unbuttoned at the top, to reveal some of his chest.
His hard, muscular chest. I forced away the thought.
Keeping my eyes on him, I saw his gaze intensely focused on my body. There was no embarrassment. No awkwardness. Alessio was completely calm and confident as his eyes raked over my body.
“Hmm,” he muttered, looking thoughtful as he watched me.
He leaned back against the sofa. His muscles were clear beneath his shirt, making him look big.
I forced myself not to fidget, but it was hard. I couldn’t show fear. Men like him fed on fear. They used it to their advantage.
My fingers tightened around my shirt. My throat felt heavy and dry. When I started to feel lightheaded, I realized I’d been holding my breath for too long.
I let it out in a loud whoosh and then sucked in a deep breath again, but it was pointless.
His heated gaze traveled all the way down my body. I was speechless and frozen where I stood. When my body started to warm up under his focus, I closed my eyes tightly. But the tingling didn’t stop.
When he stood and walked toward me, I shrunk away. His dark presence filled the room, and I suddenly felt hot. Sweat beaded on my neck and between my breasts as he moved closer.
When he stopped before me, I shivered in fear and my body tensed in alarm. Alessio stepped closer until we were half an inch apart, so close that my nose started to tingle with the scent of his cologne and I could feel his breath next to my ear.
My lips were suddenly dry. When I moistened them with my tongue, Alessio’s eyes followed the movement. If possible, his already lustful gaze became more heated.
He licked his own lips too, making the action appear so deeply sensual that I had to squeeze my legs together, trying to stop the sudden tingling between them.
What’s happening to me?
Alessio leaned his head forward until his lips were hovering over mine. My body froze, my mind went blank for a moment.
Was he going to kiss me?
His hand came up and wrapped around my shirt. He gave it a tug, but I refused to let go of the fabric. He frowned and tugged harder.
I swallowed in fear when his eyes changed and he leveled me with a glare. The shirt fell from my grasp. He took a step back and stared at me. Except for my black bra and panties, I was almost naked. Crossing my hand over my chest, I tried to hide my body from him.
“Move your hands,” he ordered, his voice gruff. Shaking my head wildly, I took a step back but came in contact with the wall.
There was nowhere to hide. I was trapped as he moved closer.
Alessio crowded my space and he wrapped his fingers around my wrists, tugging downward until I was no longer covering my chest.
He brought his hand right over my chest but he didn’t touch me. I shivered as my body warmed under his scrutinizing gaze. Even though he hadn’t touched me yet, my body was already on fire.
When the tip of his finger made contact with my skin, I jumped and stared at him with wide eyes. He kept his eyes on mine as he slowly dragged his finger down my chest, stopping between my breasts.
My chest heaved, and each time my breasts brushed against his shirt, the tingling sensation in my lower region increased. My body tightened, hyper aware of Alessio’s touch.
He brought his other hand up and let it travel down my neck. I was sure he could feel my pulse throbbing in fear—and I hated to admit it, but in anticipation too. My body was reacting to his touch, eagerly awaiting his next movement. No matter how hard I tried to stop my reactions, my body wouldn’t listen.
“You have lovely skin. Smooth as silk,” he muttered as he softly brushed his thumb over my throbbing vein. “So fucking beautiful.” Then he frowned, like he couldn’t believe I was attractive to him. Or maybe he was surprised he’d said it.
His face became expressionless, but his heated gaze couldn’t be misunderstood. It showed everything he felt.
He wanted me, and my body was reacting accordingly.
As he continued to look into my eyes, the hand that was over my chest moved to my right breast. I was so captivated by his pale and vivid blue eyes, I didn’t notice when he moved the cup of my bra downward.
When I felt the cold air on my skin, my eyes widened and I looked down to see my right breast bare. My nipple pebbled and I sucked in a shocked breath when Alessio softly moved his thumb over the tip.
My head snapped back and he was still looking at me, his gaze intensely on mine as he watched my reaction.
He rubbed his thumb over my nipple and I let out a gasp, my eyes slowly closing. When I heard a moan, my body tightened. My eyes snapped back open when I realized that it came from me.
Alessio’s lips tilted upward in a smirk, and then he took my nipple in between his thumb and forefinger. He pinched my nipple hard.
Gasping, I shrank away from his touch with a whimper.
Oh God, what was happening to me? I felt myself growing wet between my legs.
“Shhh. Don’t be scared, kitten. I’m not going to hurt you.”
I let out another whimper when he rolled my nipple around his fingers, teasing the tip until I was shaking my head, my stomach clenching as I moaned again.
Alessio leaned closer until his mouth was next to my ear. He blew on my skin and then bit down on my earlobe. “Not unless you want me to,” he whispered harshly in my ears, saying the same words that he had when we first met.
“What…what…what are you doing?” I stumbled over my words, my voice hoarse.
He let out a laugh and pulled back. “What do you think I’m doing? From your reaction, I think it’s pretty obvious.”
I shook my head and stared at him mutely. No, it was not obvious. He was playing with
me. But why?
I tried to pull away, but Alessio wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me into his body. My breasts pressed hard against his chest. When my sensitive nipples brushed against the roughness of his shirt, I couldn’t keep from moaning.
Oh, God. No. Save me from this.
“Plea…please don’t hurt me.”
His body shook with silent laughter. “Aww, baby. Pleasure and pain come hand in hand.” Alessio leaned forward, and slowly licked down my neck. “Don’t you know? The best pleasure comes from pain,” he whispered roughly against my skin.
No. I knew pain. I was accustomed to pain and felt it every night when Alberto tortured me mercilessly. There was no pleasure from that.
My body froze, and then I started to struggle against his hold.
“Let me go. Please. Please let me go,” I begged as my eyes filled with unshed tears. I was wrong to think I was safe. He was a monster like Alberto. He would take what he wanted and then leave me bleeding and scarred.
“Stop struggling,” he ordered harshly.
“No. No. No. Please.” I shook my head and pushed hard against his chest but it was like pushing a wall. He didn’t even move a step.
“Enough!”
I whimpered and shrank away. He let go of me and I scrambled back to the wall, plastering myself against it.
Alessio stared at me blankly. My harsh breathing filled the room and I was trembling. My legs were barely holding me up.
He stepped forward, but when I let out cry, he stopped.
“You are scared of me,” he said.
I swallowed but didn’t say anything. What could I say? He already had me figured out.
“But you also enjoy my touch,” he continued. My body went still, and this time I shook my head. His eyes became hard and he walked closer.
“Don’t lie to me. If you didn’t know already, then let me enlighten you,” he said through gritted teeth. “I always know when someone lies. So, you’d be better off if you don’t.”
I didn’t answer. I couldn’t. My throat was dry and my tongue felt heavy in my mouth. Alessio moved his hand to my hair and twisted it around his fist. Even though his hold was firm, he gently tilted my head up, making sure he didn’t hurt me.
“Now answer me, kitten. Did you like it when I touched you?”
I thought of lying again, but what would it bring me? It wouldn’t help my situation. I nodded. It was so small that it would have been easy for him to miss it. But he didn’t.
Alessio Ivanshov never missed anything.
At my nod, he smiled and it took my breath away. It was the first real smile that I saw from him. His lips stretched wide and I noticed a dimple on his right cheek.
The smile changed his face completely. He didn’t look so scary anymore.
He looked gentle.
My eyes widened as my heart constricted.
“Now, that’s out of the way. Let’s talk about why I’m here,” he said, losing the smile. I swallowed nervously and nodded again.
I tried to move away but his fingers tightened in my hair. When he seemed sure I wouldn’t move, Alessio let go. He placed his hands on the wall behind me, one on either side of my face, caging me into his body.
“I want you,” he said without any hesitation.
Oh, I knew that was coming, but what I didn’t expect was how my body reacted to his words.
My legs weakened and my panties were instantly wet. My lower region pulsed and I bit down on my lips hard to stop the moan that threatened to slip out.
“What?” I asked, my voice shaking.
Alessio leaned forward until his lips were hovering over mine. I saw his tongue slip out and he gently licked my lips. My body tightened in shock.
“Exactly what I said. I want to fuck you.”
I didn’t want to admit it, but I could see myself doing whatever he wanted me to do. He knew how to play with his words and how to play my body. The only fear I had was that he might hurt me. I suddenly felt sick.
I was exactly what Alberto said. A whore. What kind of woman feels turn on by a strange man who whispers such vulgar words? I had been raped repeatedly by my fiancé. And now I felt turned on by a monster exactly like him.
“What if I don’t want it?” I asked, trying to remain coherent as I felt my knees begin to buckle.
Alessio smirked. “Oh, kitten. You want me. I’m turning you on right now, aren’t I? I can see it.” He was filled with so much confidence and arrogance. I hated it.
He licked my neck again, then bit down. I moaned as he sucked on my tortured skin.
“I can feel it,” he murmured against my skin. Shaking my head, I tried to move away but it was no use. “I can smell it.”
He wouldn’t let me go. I was feeling dizzy and giddy. It was surreal. I wanted him, but at the same time, I wanted to sink down and cry.
He stepped away slightly but not too much, still crowding my space.
“I will never take a woman against her will,” he said as he stared into my eyes. At his words, my heart started to calm down. “But, kitten, you want me. I know it and you know it. I will not fuck you until you beg me.” His vulgar words went through my body and I trembled.
Alessio leaned close again. I could feel his breath on my lips. “You owe me, kitten. And don’t forget. I own you. You do what I tell you. So, it’s simple. Do you want me?”
I started to say no, but he brought his finger to my lips. “And don’t even think of lying. Lying will just get you in more trouble.”
I swallowed hard and my heart was beating hard against my ribcage and my palms started to sweat. My breathing was irregular and I felt like was suffocating. Alessio’s blue eyes were fixed on mine.
Blue and green.
We stared at each other with a mixture of emotions. Desires. Lust. Excitement. Fear. Anticipation.
Oh, dear God, what have I gotten myself into?
Chapter 8
As I stood there, trapped in his arms, I was speechless. What could I say?
Yes meant submitting to him. It would mean I was ready to be his whore. When I ran away from Alberto, I promised myself that I would never be at the mercy of another man again.
Yet, here I was, cornered by Alessio and I couldn’t even say no.
He stared at me for a few seconds, his gaze intense as he waited for my answer. But I defiantly stayed quiet, pursing my lips together, refusing to utter a response. Not replying was better than replying, right?
That was what I thought. But I was wrong.
Alessio gave me another of his devilish smirks and I swallowed hard against the lump in my throat.
That smirk didn’t look nice. Definitely not good.
He leaned in, his lips lightly brushing my ear. “You like testing me, don’t you?”
My body was shaking. But even under the layers of fear and anger, my body was responding to him. His rough, hard voice sent a shiver through my body. I refused to acknowledge what I was feeling. It was wrong. I shouldn’t have been feeling that way.
But as much as I wanted to act strong, I felt weak.
Alberto’s voice echoed in my head as I stared at Alessio’s hard chest.
Weak. So pathetic. Look at you. All broken. You are nothing but a low, dirty whore.
Old memories came to a screeching halt when I felt a hand on my chin, tilting my head up. My eyes snapped open and I looked up at Alessio.
His fingers were firm on my chin, holding my head still as he moved in closer until our bodies were plastered together. So close that it would have been impossible to even push a thin string in between us.
His heat enveloped my body and I didn’t feel cold anymore. My heart was hammering in my chest, and I felt sure that he knew.
The rough pad of his thumb rubbed over my full soft lips, and I gasped at the sensation. His touch traveled all the way down to my body and I pressed my legs together.
Why? Why did I feel that way with him?
I inhaled a desperate breath,
moving my eyes away from his, looking everywhere but at him. My eyes moved desperately around the room, trying to find something that would keep me grounded.
Think, Ayla. Think.
I felt Alessio shift, his shirt moving against my sensitive skin, and I bit my lips, trying to hide another moan.
He wrapped an arm around my waist, anchoring me to his body while he slowly brought his other hand down.
“So, do we have an agreement?” he asked. Alessio pushed his knee between my legs, slightly pushing them apart.
The thought of him taking me was so demeaning, but even through my disgust, as hard as it was for me to admit it, I also found that thought very appealing.
Alessio overwhelmed me. He scared me, but at the same time, I couldn’t stop my body from responding to his words and seductiveness.
What was wrong with me?
Before I could say something, or even think about a proper answer, he bent down and latched onto my nipple. I hissed at his sudden action and then my head fell backward when a moan slipped from my mouth.
He suckled my nipple, pulling at it hard, and then gently swirling his tongue over the tip. I felt the rasp of his slight stubble against my tender skin, and without thinking, I pushed my breast forward.
Oh God, what’s happening to me?
Releasing his hold on my hips, he brought his hand to my other breast and teased my pebbled nipple through the fabric of my bra. Slowly rubbing his thumb in circular motion, his tongue followed the same movement on my other nipple.
I moaned and my head moved wildly from left to right, trying to get rid of the sensation that was happening in my lower region.
I tried to squeeze my legs together but Alessio’s knee stopped me. “Oh…”
I unconsciously lifted a shaking hand and cupped his cheek as he sucked me. Without even thinking, I gently moved my hand over his cheek, feeling his soft skin under the pads of my fingers. My hand wrapped around his neck as I held him to me.
My body wasn’t my own. I didn’t know what was happening. It was all going too fast.
My fingers tightened around his neck when I felt his hand move down toward my dripping core. My nails gently scratched at his skin. It was a chaste and slow caress, but erotic. In an instant, I felt him harden against my belly.