“No doubt all of it funded by taxpayer dollars,” Kate interjected, glancing up from distributing lettuce atop the turkey. “I like where we are just fine.”
“So do I, but a hot shower would be nice, not to mention a hot tub. And by the way, it’s privately owned, not government property.” He looked at the letter again. “It’s just another seven miles from here at the end of the road. If we took him up on it, we could invite the governor there for lunch, the chief of Umiak and Tuttu’s friend. It’d make a pretty powerful press release and, who knows, maybe someone would come forward with information about Tuttu’s brother.” He glanced up. “Remind me to thank Ranger Rick for taking shorthand. These are mighty long phone messages.”
Kate put the top slices of bread on the sandwiches and cut each one in half, then arranged them on paper plates and added the huge crunchy dills from the pickle crock at Yudy’s and a handful of crispy, kettle-cooked potato chips. Mitch was scanning the last phone message as she slid the paper plates into place and retrieved two bottles of iced tea and a container of milk from the cooler. She poured Hayden a cup of milk and sat down, wondering why Mitch wasn’t narrating this one aloud. Perhaps he didn’t dare.
“Eat,” she said to Hayden.
She took a sip of iced tea and waited. At length, Mitch folded the final message, pulled his sandwich toward him and glanced up, catching her eye. “That one was from your boss,” he said. “The big boss, Ransom Gates. It’s kind of cryptic. Bottom line, he’s flogging all the Navy brass to put on a big donor drive, courtesy of Uncle Sam. Not bad behavior for that rough old cob. There must be a soft heart in there somewhere.” He tapped the envelope with his fingers. “The president’s will probably be in the next batch.” He picked up his iced tea and took a swig. “What do you say we check out that lodge after lunch? On the way over, we could take a walk out on the tundra and look for wolves and grizzlies.”
Kate knew she should be grateful for the offer of the lodge, but it no doubt had multiple bedrooms. What then? Would they all be sequestered in their own little rooms at the end of the day? Would she once again be facing her nightmares alone in the dark?
“Wolves, Mumma!” Hayden said around a mouthful of turkey sandwich.
“All right,” Kate conceded. “Remember not to talk when your mouth is full. It’s not polite.”
THE WIND on the tundra was fierce, thundering across the vast land, the rounded swales flushed with spring greenery reaching toward the abrupt upheaval of the mountain range and the towering peaks. Wildflowers bloomed in protected hollows, lichens and mosses carpeted the tundra itself, and low-growing shrubs provided scant cover, making it ideal for wildlife viewing. From where they parked the truck, Dall sheep could be spotted on the lower mountain flanks, their creamy white coats making them easy to pick out.
“Sheeps!” Hayden said, pointing.
“Dall sheep,” Mitch said, unslinging the binoculars and raising them to his eyes. “Wolves sometimes hang out pretty close to where the big game roams.” After a few moments he lowered the glasses and shook his head. “Don’t see any wolves, but there are some mighty cute lambs. You know how to use binoculars, Hayden?”
Kate watched while Mitch gave yet another patient lesson to his son. She wasn’t sure how much of the techno-talk Hayden was really absorbing, but he clearly loved being with Mitch. Hayden dogged his heels like a puppy, anxious to keep up, to get noticed, to be talked to and instructed, and to have his constant questions answered. Mitch seemed okay with all of this, juggling the multiple roles of teacher, disciplinarian, buddy and father as if he’d spent years with Hayden instead of just days.
While Hayden held the binoculars to his frowning face, Mitch straightened and gave Kate an inquisitive look. “Tired?”
“Me? I had a nap before lunch, remember?”
“If we walk up on that ridge, we’ll be able to see for miles. There’s bound to be caribou down in the valley, and maybe a wolf or two, but it’s close to a mile of hiking, or better.”
“Then we better get walking.”
Kate enjoyed the push of the wind, the smell of the cool clean air and the magnificence of the wilderness itself. The land was charged with energy, every living thing packing as much regeneration into each summer moment as it could. The same energy flowed through her, like a current that connected her to the network of life, the same web that linked all of them together on this planet. She watched Hayden struggling manfully after Mitch as Thor ran tireless circles around all of them. As if sensing when the moment of exhaustion had been reached, Mitch stopped and swept Hayden up onto his shoulders for the final half-mile hike up the side of the hill.
When they crested the summit, the wind tore her breath away. Mitch set Hayden down and pointed, and following his arm Kate saw the small band of caribou ranging in the broad, undulating valley below. There was a narrow body of water, and they were edging along it, grazing on ground cover as they went.
Mitch scanned the valley with the binoculars. “I see wolves,” he said, his words setting Hayden to jumping up and down. “There. Just on the north edge of that water. See those bushes? Just on the other side of them. They’re watching the caribou the same as we are. Use the binoculars like I showed you and tell me what you see.” He handed Hayden the binoculars but the boy was so excited he couldn’t find the pond, let alone the bushes.
“Nothing!” he wailed, close to tears.
“Okay then, lower the glasses and look where I’m pointing. Can you see the little pond and the bushes on the left? Just above them, see those three spots? Those are wolves.”
“Wolves, Mumma!”
Kate saw them at the same time Hayden did and felt a tingling thrill. Even as distant dots, dark against the tundra, it was something to spot wolves in the wild. Hayden lifted the binoculars again, but it was no easy feat to focus them across the distance on such a small target. His frustration only added to the difficulty of holding the binoculars steady, and Mitch rose to his feet. “Never mind, pard. We might get lucky and see them a little closer up.”
Hayden lowered the glasses, eyes wide. “Down there?”
Mitch shook his head. “Thor would start chasing caribou if we got too close. Besides, we have to check out that lodge before the sun sets.”
Kate took one long last look at the primitive scene below and was turning to follow Mitch and Hayden when a sudden and strong gust of wind struck her from behind and knocked her off her feet. She fell to her knees and cried out as she felt the wig flip neatly off her head, landing in front of her and tumbling away in a wind-borne sprint down the hillside. The appearance of what he perceived to be a dark, fast moving animal kicked Thor into high gear. He lunged snatching the wig out of midair and shaking it fiercely in his jaw before tossing it down and pouncing on it again. Before Kate could stand she had witnessed the swift destruction of what had been a very expensive head of hair.
When Mitch figured out what it was that Thor was attempting to shred, he spun around and met her shocked gaze with his own. Too late, he regained his wits. “Thor, no! Leave it!”
Kate watched as Thor dodged out of reach, wig in his jaws, and Mitch took up the chase. It didn’t last long. Thor smartly realized that although he could run circles around the man all day long, the man was mad, and so, because he respected the man’s anger, the dog dropped the wig and retreated up the slope to where Hayden stood. Mitch lifted the remains of Kate’s wig off the tundra. He held it aloft, clearly and literally at loose ends as to what his next action should be, so Kate helped him out. She took a breath, lifted her chin and marched down to take the wig out of his hand. A closer examination proved that Thor had effectively disposed of the threat, so she stuffed the remnants into her jacket pocket and heaved a philosophical sigh.
“Good thing I brought along a warm hat.”
THE PARK SERVICE director’s lodge was beautiful, tucked into a secluded setting high on a timbered knoll overlooking Canyon Creek. No expense had been spared in the design and co
nstruction of the log building. Huge windows let the wilderness vistas inside and a big fieldstone fireplace dominated the living room. There was a four-person wood-fired hot tub sunk into the corner of the cedar deck, four spacious bedrooms, a modern kitchen complete with a microwave and a garden bath with a two-person Jacuzzi-jetted tub overlooking what had to be the best bathroom view in America. Native American art and artifacts adorned the rooms and woven wool rugs covered the gleaming hardwood floors. Kate wandered through the rooms and imagined what it must be like to have a second home like this. She decided that for her, at least, it would make facing the day-to-day rat race of city life far more difficult, knowing that on the edge of the wilderness a place of peace and beauty sat empty.
“It’s nice,” she said in response to Mitch’s questioning look when she finally joined him and Hayden out on the deck. “Then again, so is our lakeside tent.”
“But there’s no shower at the campground and it’s a Friday night. The park bus’ll come through and the place is sure to be crowded with campers by suppertime,” Mitch pointed out.
She studied his bruised face. A hot shower would undoubtedly help to ease his aches and pains. “Maybe we could shower here and sleep back at the tent.”
“Or we could pack up our gear at the campsite and be back here in an hour, living in rustic luxury. You could stay here and have another nap or sit in the sun out on the porch. Hayden and I’ll go back and do all the packing up.”
Kate felt a stab of pain. The wig had been a vanity, true, but already she sensed a detachment from Mitch, as if the sight of her without it brought the reality of her cancer too close for comfort. He was backing away from her, and it hurt. “If you’d rather I stay behind, I will.”
“I wouldn’t rather you stayed behind. I just thought…”
“It’s okay. I’ll stay. You and Hayden go.”
She sat down on one of the deck chairs to make her point, but his expression remained uncertain. “Are you sure?”
“Yes,” she said, fairly snapping the word, then she softened her tone. “The two of you go ahead. I’ll enjoy some quiet time by myself. Maybe I will have another nap.”
“Okay then, we’ll be back soon and I’ll fix supper, the gastronomic tour de force I promised you. C’mon, Hayden. You can help me take down the tent. Who knows, maybe those wolves will cross the road in front of us on the drive.”
Kate tipped her head back and closed her eyes. She listened to their receding footsteps, heard the doors slam shut and the old truck sputter to life, then the engine noise slowly faded into the distance and the silence blew in on the wind, along with the unbearable loneliness. She’d never minded being alone before. In fact, except for Hayden’s company, she preferred it most of the time. Or at least she had, until very recently. But it was different now. Everything was changing.
Mitch walked away, and she yearned to follow.
She was turning into the weak, clinging and dependent sort of woman she’d always despised.
CHAPTER TWELVE
MITCH WAS DISTURBED BY Kate’s change of mood. As he drove back toward the campground, he tried to figure it out. He knew it had something to do with that damn wig. She was upset about losing it and didn’t like to be seen without it. She had no idea how exotically beautiful she looked without hair. Not many women could pull that off, but she could, and did. Hell, if she walked down any city street looking like that, half the women would go home and shave their heads and the other half would wish they had the nerve.
Last night she’d asked if he’d mind very much if she moved her bed next to his. At first he wasn’t sure he’d heard her correctly, but he’d pushed fatigue away, propped himself on his elbows, and said hell no, he wouldn’t mind a bit, and then as she started to move he beat her to it and moved his own bed next to hers. He thought that would be it, but no. She’d cuddled up next to him in her sleeping bag, as close as she could get.
“I’m afraid of the nightmares,” she’d confessed. K. C. Jones wasn’t afraid of anything she could face down, but bad dreams snuck up in the night and caught a person at their most vulnerable. So he’d pulled her into his arms and she’d fallen asleep with her head on his chest. Her head with its glossy, short-haired wig. Now that she’d lost that prop, he guessed she’d probably never snuggle with him again. That was that. Everything would be at arm’s length with averted eyes from this point onward, all because of a damned wig!
“I guess your mom’s upset because Thor ate her wig,” he said to Hayden.
“When Mumma got sick her hair fell out,” Hayden informed Mitch in his serious way. “It made her sad.”
“Well, I think your mom’s beautiful just the way she is, but her hair’s going to grow back.”
“Even if she stays sick?”
Mitch hesitated. He was now facing his first truly difficult question as a father. How to respond? “I don’t know,” he said, deciding honesty was the best policy. “I don’t know enough about that stuff. But I think your mom’s going to get better. She’s a pretty tough gal.”
Wolves didn’t cross the road in front of them on the way back to Wonder Lake, but while Mitch was taking down the tent a moose waded out into a cove across the lake from them, galvanizing Hayden to race down to the water’s edge with Thor and watch, transfixed, until most of the camp gear had been stowed in the back of the truck. Mitch had been right about the Friday night crowd. The shuttle bus had delivered enough young backpacking campers to fill all the sites and destroy the illusion that he, Kate and Hayden had the whole park to themselves. Still, they’d had last night, and last night had been pretty special.
A little under two hours after leaving, they were back at the Kantishna lodge. The sun had set and the clouds were moving in from the south, cloaking the Alaska Range and the mighty Denali in a shroud of dark gray. Kate was still sitting on the porch, awaiting their return. It was getting chilly, and she had pulled on her black hat and zipped up her parka.
“Mumma! We saw a big moose!” Hayden raced up the steps and plastered himself against her. Kate gave him a hug and raised her eyes to Mitch, who was ascending the steps at a more sedate pace carrying their duffel bags.
“It was big,” he agreed, relieved that her mood seemed to have improved enough to allow a smile. “Sorry it took us so long but moose watching slowed things down a little. I’ll get a fire going in the fireplace and start our gourmet meal. I don’t suppose you checked to see if there was any hot water?”
Now that she was wearing the hat, she could look him in the eye again. “I already took a shower, but there’s plenty left. Why don’t you take one now and I’ll get things started here. Hayden can give me a hand unpacking the groceries. We have a refrigerator, we might as well use it.” She gave him a gentle push when he didn’t move fast enough to suit her. “Go on. That hot water will make you feel like a new man.”
Mitch deposited the duffel bags on the living-room floor and retreated to the bathroom with his kit. He didn’t argue with her logic. A shower would feel pretty good about now.
IT STARTED TO RAIN even before Mitch emerged from his shower. Kate had barely retrieved the food out of the back of the truck by the time the wind picked up and the clouds let loose. She put all the perishables into the propane refrigerator and lit a couple of gas lamps against the gloom. Then she laid a fire in the fireplace and found a book of matches on the mantel and, within minutes, the warm cheery flames made the idea of a rainy night spent inside the snug log lodge seem wonderful. She was glad they weren’t in the canvas wall tent, as much as she had liked it. This was far more pleasant.
She was cutting vegetables when Mitch appeared, hair damp, wearing a fresh pair of jeans and flannel shirt. “Couldn’t shave around all the cuts yet,” he apologized, padding into the kitchen in stocking feet into the kitchen to peer over her shoulder.
“I’m fixing the salad.” She gave him a pointed look. “You’re doing the gastronomic entrée, right?”
“Right after I pour you som
e wine. Or would you prefer Ranger Rick’s baked apple brandy?”
“I’m sure the home brew is delicious, but it might be a little strong for my stomach.”
She continued making the salad while Mitch found a genuine wineglass in a cupboard and worked the cork out of the bottle. “I’m sorry about the wig,” he said as he handed her the glass.
His words took her by surprise. “It wasn’t your fault.”
“Thor wrecked it, and he’s kind of my dog, which makes me responsible. I’ll buy you another one to replace it. There’s a place in Fairbanks right across the street from a pool hall I sometimes play at. It’s called Big Wigs. When we leave here, I’ll take you there, if you want.”
Kate stared at him for a few moments to see if he was pulling her leg. “Big Wigs?”
He nodded. “I’ve never been inside, but they have all kinds of wigs in the window.”
She felt the laughter building inside of her. “Are they all big?”
“I don’t know how to judge something like that,” he responded tactfully. “I mean, I don’t know all that much about wigs.”
He was so serious and sincere that the laughter won out. Kate laughed so hard she spilled some of her wine and had to set her glass on the counter. When she could finally catch her breath, she wiped her eyes on her shirttail and assessed him cautiously, the same way he was looking at her.
“I thought you were upset about it,” he said.
“I was. Believe me, I never wanted anyone to see me like this, bald and sick and ugly, struggling with cancer. I wanted to hide it from everyone else and from myself, too, but when I saw Thor shaking that wig and ripping it apart like it was a live animal…” Kate swallowed another eruption of laughter. “I don’t know. It put everything into a different perspective. It took me a while to come to terms with it, but I am sick. I am struggling with cancer. I am ugly, and that wig was a farce, and—”
From Out of the Blue Page 18