Or had he…
Had they actually…?
Kate sat up and cleared her throat. “Did we…?”
His frank honesty was disarming. “We did,” he nodded gravely. “We talked most of the night. That’s why you’re so tired. Don’t you remember?”
Kate slumped back onto the couch. “Of course I do,” she lied. Lord, but she was getting good at telling lies.
“I spoke to Admiral Gates, too,” Mitch said.
Kate sat back up. “You did?”
“He called back a little while ago. He’s in Washington and will be for the next week or so, but he wants you to call him.”
“He does?”
“He wants you to keep him up to speed with what’s going on with you. He wants to know when you get a donor. He wants to be there when you walk out of that hospital for the last time.”
Kate slumped back again, stunned. “My God.”
Mitch nodded. “He even talks like one. Too bad he won’t be there on Monday.”
“I don’t know about this meeting with the governor.” Kate felt a surge of panic. “I mean, I just don’t know if I can—”
“Of course you can. Think about Gail Anne, and Tuttu, and all the other people you can help by speaking up on their behalf. Think about all the lives that might be saved, including your own. Think about watching Hayden grow up. Watching him graduate from high school. From college. Fall in love. Catch a really big fish.”
Kate gave him a skeptical glance. “Catch a fish?”
“Sure. Catching a really big fish is a big moment in a guy’s life.”
“Right up there with falling in love?” She watched him scramble with this one, then drew a deep breath and let it out with a whoosh. “Big Wigs,” she said.
“What?”
“If I have to meet with the governor, I’ll need to pay a visit to Big Wigs.”
Mitch gave her a look she couldn’t quite fathom. “You look great just the way you are. You look like the most gorgeous woman in the world who just happens to be fighting leukemia, which is pretty much the situation here.” And then he reached out his hand, laid it atop her head and gave her a very gentle, warm caress. “You don’t need a wig, Kate Jones. You already have everything you need, and then some. Besides, right now you look the way a Navy shavetail should look.” His fingers drifted down to catch her chin and tip it up so she was looking directly into his eyes. “How about some breakfast? I’m cooking.”
Kate lost herself in his gaze, wishing he’d just stay put and cuddle with her while the rain came down and the words flowed back and forth between them until the past four and a half years were filled up with all that had been missing. She hadn’t realized until now just how empty she’d been. She didn’t need food.
She needed Mitch.
“I’m not that hungry. I can wait until lunchtime.”
“Maybe,” Mitch said, pushing off the couch, “but after an hour or two of searching for grizzly bears in the rain, you’ll be wishing you ate my scrambled eggs and bacon.”
HAYDEN WASN’T PUT OFF by the wet conditions. He enjoyed stomping through puddles and getting his feet soaked, and Mitch was glad to see it. He’d hate to think that any son of his would shy away from the outdoors just because the weather wasn’t perfect. While Kate had an after-lunch nap, he and Hayden filled the wood box, then took the fishing gear up the canyon trail looking for an opportune place to cast a line, which wasn’t that easy because the rain made the ground slippery and the last thing he wanted was for Hayden to fall into the water. After about thirty minutes of searching, he picked a nice level spot and assembled his pack rod.
“See that circle of water below that big rock?” he said, tying on an appropriate fly. “I bet there’s a big fish waiting there and he’s going to bite this fly the minute I cast it in there.”
“Because he’s hungry?”
“You bet. These fish are all hungry. We’ll catch him and bring him home for your mom.”
“But, if he’s hungry, what will Mumma feed him?”
“Well…” Mitch stripped off some line in preparation for the cast. He glanced down at Hayden, who was watching him with that serious expression. “Fish food,” he said. “They’ll eat just about anything. Bread, meat, vegetables, eggs. You name it.”
Hayden thought about this while Mitch cast his fly into the eddy. “Would a fish eat a fish?”
“Oh, yeah, that’s their favorite food. Big fish eat little fish all the time.”
“They eat their own babies?”
“Hmm…” He was treading into unknown territory here. From what little he knew about early childhood years, other than his own, everything he said and did could have a profound effect on the future development of this kid. This was kind of intimidating stuff. He’d have to remember to modify his behavior around Hayden. “They try to avoid that. They want their own kind to survive, just like the rest of us.”
The rain came down harder. He cast into the eddy several times while Hayden watched, but the fly generated no interest. “That big old fish probably already ate his lunch,” he said, giving up on that spot and moving downstream toward another likely hole. For an hour they prowled along the bank, getting wetter by the moment in spite of the rain gear. Finally Mitch called it quits. “I better get you back before your mom gets worried. Where’d Thor run off to?” He looked around for the black dog but he was nowhere to be seen. “C’mon, Hayden, my guess is he’s either lying beside the fireplace or on top of your bed.”
They trudged up the path, the rain and the creek filling the air with sound, deafening them to the barking until they were almost upon the dog, who was standing in the middle of the trail not far from where they’d been fishing. Thor’s hackles were raised and the way he was braced on all four paws gave Mitch all the warning he needed. He grabbed Hayden’s shoulder and turned the boy around. “New plan, pard. We’re going back the way we just came and we’ll hang out for a while, until Thor tells us it’s safe to use the trail.”
Thor never looked back, just kept barking as they retreated down the path. When they’d gone a fair distance, Mitch paused. What now? Hayden was soaking wet, but the way Thor’d been acting, there was a bear close by. While he’d wanted to show Hayden a grizzly, this wasn’t how he’d planned to do it. Coming face-to-face with one on the same narrow path wasn’t such a good idea.
“Why was Thor mad?” Hayden asked.
“He was telling us there was a bear up ahead.”
“A bear?” Hayden perked up.
“Probably. But bears are best viewed at a great distance, so we’ll just stay put until Thor comes and gets us.” What he didn’t add was that bears hated dogs, and if Thor came and got them now, it was possible the bear would be right behind. Mitch thought the smartest thing would be to build a little fire, but after searching unsuccessfully for dry tinder he gave up on that idea. Five minutes passed, then ten. Twenty. Hayden was starting to shiver. The burden of fatherhood grew heavier. Hayden was his responsibility. Gone were the days of only having to take care of himself and worry about no one. His son was cold. It was time to move. “Okay, you keep behind me. Right behind me. We’re going to try this again. Ready?”
The boy nodded. Mitch started up the path. They’d have made better time if he carried Hayden, but he knew the walking would warm the boy up. When they came to the place where Thor had made his stand, the trail was empty. Any tracks that might have been left behind had been lost in the downpour. No way to see what had happened or what had been there…and no sign of Thor.
“You stay right behind me,” Mitch repeated.
Hayden nodded again through the blur of rain.
For the last quarter mile of steep uphill climb, Mitch carried him on his shoulders. The lodge, when it came into view, was a sweet sight, smoke pluming from the big chimney. They burst inside, dripping wet, welcoming the warmth and the smell of something delicious cooking. Kate was in the kitchen, lamps lit against the dull day, and beyond the wide pas
s-through, Mitch could see the slow yellow lick of flames around a big log in the fireplace.
“You two catch anything, besides pneumonia?” Kate asked, stripping Hayden out of his rain gear.
“Nope,” Mitch said. “And we lost Thor. I was hoping he’d be here.”
Kate frowned as she hung the dripping garments on a peg beside the door. “He isn’t. I’ve been right in the kitchen so I would’ve seen if he’d come onto the porch. How long has he been missing?” She grabbed a clean towel and began drying Hayden’s hair.
“An hour or so. I think he might have been trying to ward off a grizzly that was in the vicinity when we were headed back.”
Kate’s brisk toweling faltered and she glanced up. “You saw a bear?”
“Not exactly, but we might have if Thor hadn’t warned us.” He lowered his voice and leaned toward Kate. “Thing is, the last time he went one-on-one with a grizzly, he barely survived.”
“He wouldn’t do that again, would he?”
“I don’t know, but I’d better go look for him, just in case.”
“You get changed into some dry clothes,” Kate told Hayden, and when he’d left the room she fixed Mitch with a serious stare. “If there’s a bear out there, I’d rather you stay here. Thor’ll be back. Give him some time.”
“I won’t be that long. The spot’s not that far from here.”
“Mitch.”
He met her stare. “I won’t be long,” he said. He opened the door and stepped back into the cold rain before she could say anything more, but the look in her eyes haunted him as he started back down the trail.
WHEN MITCH didn’t return for a while, Kate knew something bad had happened. She had walked out onto the porch dozens of times in the past two hours, listening in vain for any noise over the muted thunder of the creek, swollen from the rains. Shivering, she’d return to the kitchen to stand watch at the big glass door. Supper preparations were forgotten and she fed Hayden a bowl of cereal and some toast. He was just as happy with that as he would be with a gourmet meal.
At 7:00 p.m. the rain let up. By eight, the clouds had blown free of the mountain range and sunshine swept across the valley. Still no Mitch. Kate became convinced that both he and the dog had both been mauled to death by the grizzly. Should she call the park supervisor?
She was hunting for the envelope that contained his invitation for them to use his lodge along with a contact number when she heard steps on the porch. She ran to the door and flung it open. Thor plodded in, ears flattened in fatigue, and gave Hayden a brief greeting before flopping down on the rug in front of the fireplace and passing out. Mitch’s footsteps were equally weary as he reached the top step and paused there to catch his breath.
“We’re back,” he said. “I hope you saved some supper.”
“You said you wouldn’t be long,” Kate began, then bit back more heated words and instead drew a shaky breath. “What happened?”
“It wasn’t a bear.”
“What then? You’ve been gone nearly three hours!”
Mitch came inside and she closed the door behind him. He drew off his wet coat and hung it, dripping, from a wall peg. He pried off his waterlogged boots and stripped off his soaking wet socks and threw both out on the porch. “Damn, but I’m tired,” he muttered, hanging his ball cap on another peg and finally looking her in the eye with a boyish grin. “It was wolves, Kate. A pack of wolves. They’d killed a caribou, or maybe a bear did the killing, I don’t know, but the wolves were on the carcass and that’s where Thor was, only when I finally found him, the wolves spotted me and bolted and he ran off with the pack. He went with them, just like he belonged.” Mitch gave an incredulous laugh as he opened the refrigerator and grabbed a beer. “So I ran after him.”
Kate felt her heart rate accelerate with her anger. “No doubt you thought you could catch up to an animal that runs over twenty-five miles an hour.”
He gave her a long stare, then shrugged. “I didn’t know what else to do. I figured they’d tear Thor apart when they got over being spooked by me. So I ran and hollered, hollered and ran…and you’re really mad at me, aren’t you?”
“I thought you’d been killed by that bear.”
“Never saw a bear, but Kate, damn! I ran with the wolves.”
She turned her back on him and crossed to the stove, switching on the burner under the cast-iron pan.
“I don’t know what changed Thor’s mind about joining the pack, but all at once he was coming over the hill toward me at full speed, so I turned around and we came back.”
She heard the sound of the beer bottle being opened and poured some olive oil into the pan, spreading it over the bottom with a spatula. “I thought I’d make a chicken stir-fry,” she said. “The rice is already cooked and everything else is prepped and ready to go. This won’t take long.”
“I’ll just take a quick shower and change into something dry,” he said, and she heard him leave the kitchen. She blew out her breath and blinked away the dry sting of tears. He was totally without remorse. It never occurred to him that she’d be worried, or wonder where he was and what was taking him so long. He was irresponsible and immature. Men never grew up, they just turned into older and older boys. When they died they probably spent eternity playing with their Tonka toys in the great sandbox in the sky.
She focused on cooking the stir-fry but she was still seething when he came back into the kitchen after his shower, Hayden at his heels, begging Mitch to tell the wolf story one more time. “Mumma, Mitch ran with wolves!”
“Yes, I know,” she said, turning off the burner and sliding the pan to the side.
“Did they howl?”
“No, but they might tonight. We’ll listen for them,” Mitch said. He leaned over Kate’s shoulder to peek at the food and she stiffened. “Anything I can help you with, Captain Jones?”
“Nothing,” she snapped, dishing rice onto two plates.
“Care for wine with dinner?”
“No, thanks. I’ll stick with water.” She added the stir-fry on top of the rice and put the plates on the table. “Hayden’s already eaten. He prefers cereal to stir-fry.”
“Really?” Mitch fixed Hayden with a stern look. “Cereal isn’t going to make you big enough and strong enough to run with wolves, Hayden. You sure you don’t want some of the good stuff?”
“Can I have some, Mumma?” Hayden gave her that pitiful begging-dog stare.
Kate felt her blood pressure ratchet a few points higher. She got another plate and fixed it for Hayden. “Did you wash your hands?” she said, putting it down. He turned and ran for the bathroom. She poured him a glass of milk and put it beside his plate, not that he’d drink it.
“Still mad at me, huh?” Mitch said, dropping into a seat.
“I’m not mad.”
“Whatever you say. This looks great. Sure you don’t want a glass of wine?”
“Positive.” She sat down, took a sip from her water glass and placed her paper towel in her lap. She watched as Hayden came back into the room and shimmied into his chair, eyes bright with anticipation. “Mumma, can we go see wolves tomorrow?”
“Maybe.”
“Mitch says if they get hungry we might see them.”
“Eat your stir-fry. You told me you wanted it,” Kate said.
“Why are you so mad, Mumma?”
“I’m not mad. Eat.”
Hayden picked up his fork and pushed his food around. He squirmed on his chair and cast Mitch a furtive look from beneath furrowed eyebrows, then stabbed up a manly bite and stuffed it into his mouth. Kate took a small swallow of water. Mitch mixed his rice into the stir-fry in a determined effort to destroy the beauty of the dish and topped it off with a massive overdose of unhealthy soy sauce. Kate deliberately left her rice and stir-fry as separate layers and refused to add soy sauce until she tasted it. Predictably, it was fine the way it was. In fact, it was delicious. The one and only thing she could cook with consistent excellence was a stir-fry.
<
br /> “Mitch says fish don’t eat their own babies,” Hayden said, chewing away, “and if we caught a hungry one, you could feed it bread.”
“That’s good to know,” Kate replied. “Don’t talk with your mouth full.”
“This is great,” Mitch mumbled, shoveling more food into his mouth.
“Eat,” Kate ordered Hayden, who had set aside his fork.
He shifted on his seat. “I’m not hungry.”
“You told me you wanted it.”
“But you gave me cereal, so I’m full.”
Kate glared. Mitch pushed out of his chair and got himself another beer from the refrigerator. She heard him opening the bottle of wine and pouring a glass, which he set in front of her. “Just in case,” he said. Then he dropped back into his seat, caught her eye and held it long enough for her to lose her breath. When he finally redirected his attention to the meal, she lifted her wineglass and took a sip. Just a little one. Her stomach didn’t need the aggravation, even if her nerves could use the anesthetic. She glanced into the living room. Thor was, for all intents and purposes, dead to the world, but when the black dog had come through the kitchen door with Mitch, she’d caught the expression in his eyes, that flash of canny wariness, the hint of wildness that simmered deep within.
Thor had run with the wolves.
Why did the fact that Mitch had chased after Thor disturb her so? Was it because she was afraid he had that same wild streak? Was it because she was afraid he might keep on running? Was it because Hayden was so swept up in it all, so suddenly attached to a man he hadn’t even known a week ago?
Was she jealous?
No. She’d been worried, that’s all. Mitch was back, he was safe, she could let it go now.
But could she?
“What if Thor hadn’t come back?” she said.
Mitch glanced up from his near-empty plate. “Huh?”
From Out of the Blue Page 20