“Jake!” He glanced over at me as I put an arm around Matt. Ben stood still, looking between us silently. “Don’t talk to him like that!”
“It’s okay, Feather,” Matt said.
“No! It’s not. It’s . . .” I trailed off as I realized Jake had a bunch of crumpled papers in his hands. I looked over at Ben, who was holding a similar handful. Then I looked around the hallway, taking it all in. Jake and Ben had been tearing down photocopies of Kiowa’s grad photo someone had enlarged from the yearbook and printed. There had to be a hundred of them plastered on the lockers.
Someone had scrawled “KILLER” in red marker across his face in every single one.
Chapter 29
Vigil
There was a piece of pink paper underneath my windshield wiper when I walked out to my car after school. Another restaurant menu or flyer from a psychic, I thought. I leaned over and pulled it free, crumpling it into a ball just as I registered the faces looking back at me from the bubble-gum pink sheet. I unfurled the ball of paper and bent over, smoothing the wrinkles out against my thigh.
Candlelight Vigil
Tonight at the Rec Centre
8:00 pm
Light a candle to show our Stolen Sisters
that we haven’t forgotten them.
Light a candle for Carli Thomas — we will never forget you
Light a candle for Mia Joseph — we won’t stop
looking until we find you
I stared at Mia and Carli looking out at me and ran my fingers lightly across Mia’s face. I missed her so much it hurt.
“Where are you?” I whispered. My phone rang in my pocket. I took it out. Jake. I answered the call but didn’t say anything.
“Feather? Listen, please don’t say anything. I know you’re upset with me. I already apologized to Matt. I don’t know why it bothers me that he’s gay. But it does. I’m trying, Feather.”
“Try harder,” I told him. “He’s got enough people being hateful to him. You were friends.”
“I know,” he said. “I really am trying. I just don’t get it. How can he like guys? It’s disgusting.”
“Because he’s gay!” I shouted into the phone. “He can’t change who he is. And people like you are the reason gay kids kill themselves. Figure it out, Jake. Because Matt’s my friend.”
“I know he is. I’m sorry.” He took a deep breath, pausing before he changed the subject. “Did you get a poster for the vigil on your car?” he asked.
I sighed. “Yeah. It’s tonight, right?”
“Can we go together?” He waited for me to answer. “Feather?”
“Jake, I don’t know. Everyone will talk if I show up.”
“Let them! You have as much right to be there for Mia and Carli as anyone else,” he told me.
“I know that! And I feel as if I owe it to Mia, Jake.” I paused. “I feel like I wasn’t there for her. I should never have taken no for an answer. I should have gone and picked her up. She’d still be here if I hadn’t just left her.”
“She had Kiowa, Feather.” We had an awkward pause after that.
“Yeah. I know. I think I need to do this.”
“Me too. And if you’re not too pissed off at me, I’ll take you. I’ll get Ben to come with us. Matt too,” he added.
“Okay. Pick me up after dinner.” I hung up without saying goodbye. I pulled out my list of suspects and drew a star beside my boyfriend’s name. No matter how hard I wanted to deny it, something about Jake was off. As much as I wished that I could cross him off the list, I just couldn’t.
* * *
There was a huge crowd spilling onto the street outside the rec centre at 7:45. We had parked blocks away and walked over, Jake holding my hand tightly with Matt and Ben flanking us like bodyguards. People gathered in groups, holding candles with Dixie cups shielding their flames from the breeze. Some were holding posters and signs with pictures of lost loved ones. So many women gone. How did this happen?
Michael was standing outside the rec centre, handing out candles and thanking people for coming. I headed over to him, my entourage in tow. He looked up as we approached.
“Feather! I’m glad you came. Listen,” he said as he put a hand on my shoulder and leaned down so his words were more private. “Mia brought your brother in a few times and I know he couldn’t have had anything to do with her disappearance. I’m sorry for your troubles.” He extended a candle to me. I took it, nodding my thanks.
“Têniki. I appreciate that, Michael.” He smiled at my thanks and handed candles to Jake and Ben, greeting them both by name. “And this is our friend, Matt.” Matt took a candle.
“Nice to meet you, Matt. Thanks for coming. You’re all very welcome here.” He nodded towards the people still waiting patiently for candles. “You’ll excuse me, I hope.” We turned and headed back into the throng of people.
I felt a tap on my shoulder as we made our way through the crowd. I turned. A man I didn’t recognize stood there smiling at me. I called out for the guys to wait for me.
“Yes?” I asked the man.
“You’re Mia’s friend, right?” he asked.
“Yeah. We all are.” I gestured towards Jake, Ben and Matt. He nodded a greeting at them.
“I’m Larry Kent. I work here at the centre. I wanted to say how sorry I am for what happened to your friend. I assure you I wasn’t asleep on the job that night. There was a fight I had to break up and then resolve and I missed your friend’s calls. I’m so terribly sorry. We all loved . . . love Mia at the centre.” He held out his hand to me. He looked truly miserable and so sincere that I shook his hand. He smiled gratefully at me and reached out to shake each of the boys’ hands in turn.
“Thanks for understanding,” he said. “I appreciate your kindness.”
“Larry!” someone called out. A look of annoyance clouded his face for a second.
“Please excuse me. And thank you again. I’m so glad I got the opportunity to apologize to you. Please let me know if there’s anything I can do.” He hurried away and I turned back to the guys, who led me towards the front of the crowd.
A platform was set up with a podium and I saw Mia’s mother and stepfather standing off to the side. They were sharing a cigarette and laughing at something. I wanted to punch both of them.
“What the hell are they doing here?” I muttered.
By the time Michael walked onto the stage to announce them and they made their way up the steps to the podium, the smiles had slid right off their faces and they were suddenly teary-eyed and serious.
“I’d like to introduce you to the parents of our missing friend, Mia Joseph. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Mr. and Mrs. Miller.” He hugged Mia’s mother, who was clutching a Kleenex tightly in her fist, then he shook Leonard’s hand.
“Thank you for coming. Mia and I have always been close. More like sisters than mother and daughter,” her mother said. Unbelievable! “My husband treated Mia like his own daughter and it broke our hearts when she decided to sneak out in the middle of the night to see her boyfriend.”
“Is she serious?” I practically yelled into Jake’s ear. “Her fantastic husband was groping Mia and she kicked her out!”
“I know, Feather.” Jake stroked my arm. I fought the urge to pull away from him as Joyce continued.
“That boyfriend betrayed her trust and took our Mia away from us! We just want our baby back!” Mia’s mother sobbed into her hankie. Leonard put his arm around her and led her off the podium. Their feet had barely touched down onto the ground when they were both lighting cigarettes and smiling again. Joyce screeched with laughter at something Leonard said.
“Goddamned phonies!” I hissed. “Ki had nothing to do with this.”
“Shhh!” Matt grabbed my arm. “Come on, Feather. We’re flying under the radar here. Can you please not attract attention?”
&n
bsp; I yanked my arm out of his grasp.
“I’m sorry. But I can’t stand it!” I knew my voice was rising but I couldn’t help it. My candle was shaking hard in my hand. “Why don’t they tell everyone what really happened?” I glared at Mia’s mom, who happened to look up at that moment. She met my eyes and I watched as the colour drained from her face. She leaned over and whispered into Leonard’s ear. He glanced up at me, then leaned down and whispered something back.
“Oh shit,” Ben said, watching as Joyce and Leonard started walking towards us. “Oh shit. There’s no way they just want to say hi, is there?” he asked.
“Probably not,” I told him. Matt put a protective arm around me just as they approached us. Joyce walked straight up to me, her chest touching mine.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing here?” she glared at me.
“I’m here for Mia and Carli,” I told her, taking a step away from the overpowering stench of cigarettes and dollar-store perfume. “That’s all. I’m not trying to cause any problems, Joyce.” I held my hands up in front of me, before realizing it looked like I was proving I didn’t have a weapon. I put them back down. Joyce flinched anyway, then looked around to see if anyone was watching.
“How dare you!” she screamed, her face turning an alarming shade of eggplant. Or maybe it was puce. Wait. Was puce purple? I was internally debating her colour palette when she hauled off and slapped me, hard, across the face. I staggered back, right into Jake, who grabbed me before I could fall. My face was on fire, both from the humiliation and from the pain of the attack.
“Hey!” Jake yelled. “Get away from her!” Matt and Ben stepped forward, blocking me from further attack, but Joyce was in full-on freak-out mode.
“Why are you doing this to me?” she shrieked. “My daughter is missing! She’s probably dead. And your brother took her!” I opened my mouth to respond but she cut me off. “You have the nerve to come here and put me through having to see you when it was your brother who killed my daughter!”
“What the hell are you talking about?” I pushed past the boys and stood in front of Joyce. “Kiowa didn’t do anything, Joyce. He picked Mia up after you kicked her out of the house in the middle of the night when you didn’t want to face the awful truth! That your husband is a creepy pervert who tried to have sex with her.”
I heard gasps from the people who had gathered to watch us go at it. She started to talk but it was my turn. “And don’t even think of denying it to me, Joyce, because I saw it with my own eyes. Isn’t that right, Leonard?” Leonard looked like he hoped the ground might open up and swallow him so he could disappear. “You both make me sick.” I turned to walk away and then spun back around. “And Mia is NOT dead, Joyce. What kind of mother gives up on her own daughter?” I turned my back on them and stalked away. Matt, Jake and Ben followed close behind.
“So much for flying below the radar,” Matt said to Ben.
“Hey!” a voice called out behind us. “Feather!” I turned and saw Michael pushing through the crowd towards us.
“This can’t be good,” I whispered to no one in particular.
“Hold up, guys,” Michael said, jogging up to us. “Feather, was all of that true? What you just said to them?” He nodded towards Joyce and Leonard, who were huddled together, passing a cigarette back and forth between them. I sighed.
“Yeah, Michael. It is. I know we didn’t tell you what was really going on. I’m sorry. But hey, Joyce always did want to be on TV.” I gestured to the news cameras. “She wanted to be a weather girl, but I’m sure this is more than enough attention for her.”
“Feather, let it go,” Jake warned, glancing towards Leonard and Joyce. I doubted that she’d dare attack me again but he was right. I didn’t need to draw any more attention to myself.
“I didn’t know. I never would have asked them to speak here.” He rubbed his chin. “I knew Mia had problems with her parents but all of the kids here do. Shit. I need to get back up there and say something. I’m sorry for . . . that.” He gestured at me. “Is your face okay?” He gave me a half smile.
“Yeah.” I felt my cheek. It was a little sore and maybe swollen but I’d be fine. “I’ll live,” I told him.
“I appreciate you coming. All of you.” He smiled at us and waved as he loped back up to the podium and addressed the crowd. “Thank you everyone for coming out to show your support for our missing and murdered loved ones. Let’s talk about how we can stay safe,” he began.
“I’ve heard enough,” I told the guys. “Can we just get out of here?”
“Yes!” All three of them shouted back at me.
“Okay, okay.” I grabbed Matt’s hand and threw an arm around Ben, who clapped Jake into a headlock. “Let’s go back to my place and order a pizza.”
* * *
I left the guys in front of the TV, inhaling the pizza. My list was on my desk where I left it. I sat down and stared at the suspects, then slowly crossed off Ben’s name. Anyone could have taken Carli and Mia but I didn’t believe it was Ben. His grief at losing Carli was definitely genuine. And Mia had shown him nothing but friendship. He had no reason to hurt her. It couldn’t be him. I stared down at Jake’s name and put the receipt in my desk drawer without crossing it out.
Chapter 30
Sugar’s Sweet, So Is She
He watched her stalking through the crowd. So many people. So many women! But he only had eyes for her. She stood out. She shone. He watched her stand up to the parents. He watched her take a slap like a man and he felt himself get hard. He put his hand in his pocket and rubbed himself, not caring if anyone saw him or not.
She was perfection. Flawless.
Her skin was bronzed. Her hair was black as a raven’s wing. Her eyes were like dark chocolate.
Eyes that you could get lost in.
Her lips were full and red. Like a ripe strawberry.
He throbbed.
For her.
She brushed against him and he leaned forward slightly to breathe in the scent of her green apple shampoo.
He had never wanted anyone as much as he wanted her.
He watched her walk away from him and wanted more than anything to reach out and run his hand down the bare skin of her arm.
It was only a matter of time.
Chapter 31
Just Another Number
I hadn’t seen the television cameras on me when I was arguing with Mia’s mom. But there I was in glorious HD, eyes flashing and jaw clenched as I yelled and confronted her for kicking out Mia. I cringed. My mother was going to kill me.
I switched channels and there I was again. I am so dead when my mom gets home, I thought. I instantly regretted my choice of words, even if they were just in my head.
I turned the TV off and went to do the dishes. I figured my mom coming home to some random acts of housework charity might ease the blow of seeing her daughter getting into a screaming match on national television.
The dishes turned into vacuuming and then dusting. By the time I was done, the house was spotless and I was exhausted. I grabbed a carton of Chocolate Peanut Butter Häagen-Dazs, picked up a spoon from the drying rack and flopped back on the couch with a sigh of contentment. I had just dug my spoon into the carton and was licking it clean when my phone rang. I tried to swallow the huge lump of peanut butter that was sticking to the roof of my mouth.
“Ugh . . . ‘ello?” I was scraping at it with my tongue, trying to swallow so I could talk.
“Hello? Is this Feather Bedard?” a strange, male voice asked.
I swallowed hard, finally clearing the peanut butter and wishing I had a glass of milk.
“Yes it is. Who is this?”
“You don’t know me,” the man said rather ominously. “But I got your number from Michael at the rec centre?” That was at least a little reassuring. “He thought we should talk.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. I should start at the beginning. My name is Paul Abenaki.” He paused for a second, apparently to gather his thoughts, because he dove right back in. “My girlfriend, Sara, died last year.”
“I’m so sorry,” I began, not sure how to respond. A total stranger calls me out of the blue . . . this was just getting weirder and weirder.
“Thanks. Michael thought I should call you because she died down by the Riverwalk. Near the Midtown Bridge?”
My heart stopped.
“Are you still there?” he asked.
“Yeah.” I swallowed. “Sorry. So what happened, Paul?” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. How long had this been going on?
“They found her under the overpass. They said it was an accident and she had somehow fallen.”
“But you don’t think she fell,” I said. It wasn’t a question.
“No, Feather,” he replied sourly. “I know she didn’t.”
“How do you know?” I asked. I thought about Ben’s confidence that Carli hadn’t killed herself and Kiowa denying he had anything to do with Mia’s disappearance.
“Because I was on the phone with her when it happened. Someone came up to her and said something. I could hear his voice but I couldn’t make out what he said to her. Sara must have known him. She said hi and asked how he was . . . then she said no to him . . . then she screamed, ‘no and please . . .’” Paul’s voice broke. “And she called my name. Her phone went dead after that.” He paused and took a deep, shaking breath. “She called my name and I couldn’t help her.”
“Oh my God . . . Tom, I’m so, so sorry. Did the police look for her right away?”
“I was close by so I sped over to the bridge but she wasn’t there. I walked all around it. I walked under it. No one was there. I called the police but they didn’t find any sign of her.”
“But I thought you said she fell?” I asked, perplexed.
“That’s just it. She wasn’t there. I looked everywhere. The police looked everywhere. She was gone. I told them what had happened — that someone was there with her but they didn’t believe me. They said it was just ‘the ramblings of a hysterical boyfriend.’ I had been drinking,” he said quietly. “Just a couple of beers but they said I was drunk and didn’t know what I was saying.”
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