by Dianne Drake
“This is it,” he said.
“It?”
“Your thirty minutes of pristine silence. Make yourself comfortable, dangle your feet in the water if you’re OK with that, and enjoy.”
Then Beau sat down, and Deanna sat next to him and they both dangled their feet. And sat quietly, holding hands, for the next thirty minutes. But it was mere moments before sadness overwhelmed her again. This was where she wanted to be. With Beau. Just like this. With pristine silence in her soul.
* * *
“We’re on our way,” Beau said. Their thirty minutes had expired and they were halfway through a second course when reality came crashing down. “Don’t let him move, even if you have to have Joey tie him to the bed.”
“Really? You brought your cellphone into the pristine silence?” She thought about it for a moment, wondered where he’d tucked it, then shoved that thought completely out of her mind.
“Doctor on call,” he said, sliding down off the rock and extending her his hand. “This is the escape but that’s the world I live in here. No getting away from it.”
She took his hand and followed him back through the water then tugged on her clothes and shoes as fast as she could. “Who is it?”
“Arthur. Brax and Joey and Lucas are up at his house. It’s a heart attack.”
“No,” she whispered, as they set off down the trail. “How far out are we?”
“Twenty minutes, if we hurry. But I don’t want you running. Not out here, in the dark.”
“Then go on without me. You get to him as fast as you can and I’ll go to the clinic to get things set to receive him. I’m assuming we’ll transport him somewhere else but we can get the preliminaries taken care of at the clinic first.”
“We’ll transport him if he’s stable enough. And if he lets us. Arthur isn’t always...co-operative.”
“You just go take care of him, OK?”
“I don’t like leaving you out here.”
“I’m a big girl, Beau. If I can take care of myself in New York, I sure as heck can do it here. So, please...”
“Stay on the trail. And call me if—”
“No ifs. Just go. Please. Take care of him!”
He turned away from her but didn’t move. Instead, he turned back around to face her, took two giant steps forward, pulled her into his arms and kissed her. It was a short kiss but powerful. A kiss she wanted, at another time, another place. Where there was less confusion. But she didn’t have any time for that as she was still reeling from the shock of it, trying to make sense of it, when Beau pulled back and let out a deep breath.
“The first kiss was to see if there would be a second one. The second one gives us something to talk about,” he said, then didn’t wait for Deanna to respond. Rather, he bypassed the laid-out trail and went crashing through the trees and undergrowth in a direction she didn’t know. But she heard him for several seconds, and felt him for even longer than that.
When the full realization of what had just happened sank in, she laid her hand on her belly and sighed. “Your daddy just kissed me again,” she said. Then smiled. “And I liked it. So now let’s you and me talk some things out on the way back to the clinic, and see if we can figure out where to go from here. Because it won’t work. And my heart is breaking. And I want you to get to know him. And I’m so...scared.”
CHAPTER TEN
BIG MAN BROUGHT down by an arrhythmia. As Deanna inserted an IV into Arthur Handler’s arm, she realized that she couldn’t go back to research and organization. Not on a full-time basis. What she did was important because it made medical services in areas like this possible, but after being part of those medical services and making a different kind of difference, her world had to be about both, and she was going to have to figure out a way to make that work. That, among so many other things.
“You’re going to feel a stick,” she said, noticing the man was looking away, squeezing his eyes shut as tightly as he could.
“Don’t need an IV,” he grumbled.
“Maybe you wouldn’t have if you’d mentioned to any of us that you’ve been getting these chest twinges for a few weeks. But you didn’t. So now it’s an IV...” She poked it into his arm carefully then taped it in place.
“You’re not very sympathetic,” he snapped. “Good thing you do research and not patient care, because there’s not a sane doctor in the country who’d have you as his nurse.”
Words spoken in fear. Deanna knew that and didn’t take them personally. In fact, her reaction was to take hold of Arthur’s hand and simply hold it. “You’re going to be fine, Arthur. I doubt you’ll be in the hospital more than a couple of days, and after that you’ll be recuperating...” He couldn’t go home, because it was too isolated, and there was no way he should be alone. “Recuperating in the cabin, with your least favorite nurse taking care of you for a while.”
Yet another commitment to keep her here a while longer. It was amazing how her life was expanding in so many directions, and all of it felt so right and so wrong at the same time.
“Will you stick needles in me then?” He tried to grumble, but the best he could muster was something that sounded more like a scratchy throat.
“Probably,” she teased. “Because I’m very good at it. Rather enjoy torturing people like you.”
In response he squeezed her hand but still refused to look at her. “So, who’s flying me?”
“Joey’s the pilot, and Beau and I thought we’d hop a ride in just to annoy you.” Adjusting the IV bag to a slow drip, she didn’t attach any medication to it as Beau had already given Arthur a nitroglycerine pill, which had relieved his symptoms almost immediately. The IV was precautionary, in the event they had to get other meds in fast.
“You shouldn’t go,” Arthur said.
“Because I’m pregnant?”
“Too much stress. You should stay here and rest.”
“I’m going to have some tests run in the morning so whether it’s now or then, I’ve got to take a ride.” It was time to move forward differently with her life. She wasn’t sure yet what that meant, but getting the proper tests, especially with her better than average chance of a multiple birth, was the first step.
“And the ride’s ready,” Beau said, coming up behind her and slipping an arm around her waist. “Brax will be fine with Lucas, so we’re good to go.”
Good to go. Airplanes were fine, but helicopters... Deanna drew in a deep breath and braced herself. The ride was going to be bumpy in more ways than one.
* * *
OK, maybe the kiss hadn’t been the best idea he’d ever had but, damn it, how could he not have kissed her? Sure, there were complications. Her emotions, the fact she wouldn’t let him in. And if she went back to New York...well, he could go back there with her. His job was certainly still open. And maybe that’s what he’d do, even after all the fuss of trying to figure out how to make his life work here. The truth of the matter was it would work perfectly right here in Sugar Creek, Tennessee, if Deanna stayed. So far, she didn’t seem inclined to.
“You comfortable?” he asked her. She was strapped into one of the two passenger seats across from him, while he was in the jump seat next to the stretcher.
“Not sure. I’ve never been in a helicopter before, so I don’t know what comfortable’s supposed to feel like. But I’m OK.”
“You look...”
“Worried? I am. Not about the flight. But I’ve decided to go through with the tests tomorrow, since we’ll be at the hospital anyway. And I’ve been thinking, what if...?”
Beau shook his head and reached across Arthur to take hold of Deanna’s hand. “No what-ifs, OK? Everything is going to be fine.”
“But it could be twins, or more.”
“Or it could be one, perfectly healthy, beautiful baby
. Although twins are good.”
Deanna leaned back in her seat, shut her eyes and moaned. Out loud.
“Motion sickness?” Beau asked, as Deanna’s hand slipped out of his.
She shook her head but didn’t say a word. So Beau chalked it up to flight jitters and didn’t bother her. Just let her sit there, looking a bit miserable. Until...
Her eyes shot open. A pain was ripping through her side. Hot knife. Searing. Fast. Complete. Then gone.
“What?” he asked.
She didn’t know what. It had come and gone in a second. “Nothing. Just not liking the ride so much.” Probably a touch of indigestion. Yes, that’s what it was. Indigestion, foe of many a mom-to-be.
“That wasn’t a ‘nothing’ expression on your face, Deanna.”
“It was a totally ‘nothing’ expression,” Deanna said defensively, clamping her arm against her side to splint herself in case the pain hit again.
“She’s a very self-sacrificing young lady, Beau. If she was in pain, I don’t believe she’d tell you,” Arthur interjected.
“I said I’m fine,” she snapped.
“There’s my proof, Beau. Deanna’s being snappy. Better take heed.”
“OK, indigestion,” Deanna admitted. “I don’t always eat the way I should.” Another shooting pain hit her, only this time it went from her lower right abdomen and wrapped round to her back. Beau was immediately at her side. He stepped over Arthur and planted himself in the seat next to Deanna.
“Describe the pain.”
She nodded. “Sharp, intermittent.” She showed him where. “And it just started. I’m not like Arthur...” she glanced down at the man, and forced a smile “...who had twinges for weeks.”
After a quick assessment of Deanna’s vital signs, Beau prodded her lower right abdomen, which elicited a moan. “You’ve had those back spasms. And you were nauseated earlier,” he said. “Was it morning sickness or something else?”
“I haven’t had morning sickness, and this far along I was surprised it would start. So maybe it wasn’t...” A pain grabbed her so hard she gasped. “It’s risky, having my appendix out while I’m pregnant, but I think...”
He took hold of her left hand. “Not as risky as you’d think. Medical technology has come a long way in protecting both mother and baby during something like this. The bigger risk is not having it fixed, and taking a chance at a rupture.”
“Am I in trouble?” she asked him. “I didn’t know anything was wrong.”
“If it’s appendicitis, the longer you wait the more likely it is you’ll have complications. As the uterus gets bigger, it basically pushes the appendix up towards the right kidney. That causes the pain you’d expect with appendicitis, but because of the shifting around going on, back pain is common. Which you’ve been having. Also, appendicitis can mimic other things, like a kidney infection. Then there would be the typical symptoms of appendicitis—nausea, vomiting, loss of appetite, which you’ve been experiencing as well.”
“So, I’ve been having appendicitis for a while. And I’ve put my baby at risk?”
“It’s early, Deanna. Everything’s going to be fine.”
“And in my defense,” Arthur said from his stretcher, “there was nothing differentiating my twinges from the indigestion I suffer after eating a fine French meal. Foie gras...” He raised his hand to his mouth and kissed his fingertips, even though they were impeded by his oxygen mask. “Food of the gods.”
“And food of your past,” Beau said.
“The indignities we must endure,” the old man said, then reached up and took hold of Deanna’s right hand. “After we land, I’m sure we’ll be parted, Deanna. But I want you to know that after your surgery I’d be delighted to spend my convalescence with you convalescing at my side. Helping each other as we are able to. And your surgery will go splendidly, my dear. Simply splendidly. For both you and the unborn Lambert.”
She hoped so. Shutting her eyes and leaning her head against the helicopter’s cabin wall, she discovered she was too numb to think. The pain didn’t matter. It came and went, and as soon as they operated, it would be gone permanently. But she was so frightened for the baby. It was an indescribable feeling...something that came from a place she didn’t fully understand.
Part of the feeling was the possibility of losing Emily altogether. She knew that. But there was something else...the possibility of her own loss. She wanted this baby. Not just for Emily. She wanted it for herself because...because she loved it. Truly loved it. Because it was her baby. Her baby.
“My baby,” she whispered, as tears slid from behind her closed eyes. “It’s my baby.”
* * *
“Arthur’s squared away in Cardiac Care, and mad as hell because he can’t be down here to support you,” Beau said.
He looked so good in surgical scrubs. Even through the pain and the first round of IV drugs, that’s the first thing she thought when Beau entered the ER room. So handsome. “How long before I go in?”
“About ten minutes.”
“Are you going to be in there?”
“I can’t,” he whispered, pulling a chrome stool up to the side of her bed and sitting down. “They’ll let me observe from the window but I’m too...involved to scrub in.”
“I wish you could,” she said, reaching through the rungs of the bed rails to take hold of his hand. It was time. She knew it. Everything inside her knew it was finally time. Because his baby was at risk, and he did have the right to know. His baby, her baby... “Am I approved for the laparoscopic procedure?”
That meant the surgeon would make several tiny cuts in her abdomen and insert a miniature camera and surgical instruments, then watch the image of the procedure on the screen as he removed the appendix. Totally unlike traditional surgery with general anesthesia, a large incision and direct observation of the appendix, this was less invasive, required less anesthesia and recovery time was much faster.
“The obstetrics team thinks you’re a good candidate. Your uterus hasn’t expanded so much that your appendix won’t be seen through the camera, and you’re in good health. So it’s a go, and they’re scrubbing in too, just to be there.”
“Good hands,” she murmured.
“Very good hands. It’s an excellent hospital.”
“I mean yours,” she said, as she fought back the pre-anesthetic grogginess overtaking her.
“Look, Deanna. Before they take you, there’s something I want you to know. About that kiss...”
“You didn’t like it?” she interrupted.
“No. I loved it. It wasn’t a mistake. Neither time.”
“Could have been longer,” she said. Her words were slurring now. She could hear them and they came out with such effort... Have to tell him. Now. He has to know.
“It will be longer next time,” he said. “If that’s what you want. I’ve done a lot of thinking, but now’s not the time to talk about this. So...”
“Shh,” she said, raising her finger to her lips to silence him and totally missing her face. “I have to talk now.”
He chuckled. “You won’t be talking for long.”
“Which is why I have to say this now. The baby—”
“Will be fine,” he interrupted. “I know that’s your biggest fear. But the baby will be fine.”
“My baby,” she said, fighting to stay awake.
“Of course it’s your baby.” He lowered his face to her hand and kissed the back of it. “And you’re going to be the best mother—”
“Your baby,” she said.
“Yes, I’ll love it like it’s my baby.”
“It is your baby,” she said, as her eyes started to flutter shut. “Emily’s egg, your sperm. Your baby...”
“No way.”
“Your baby,” she said one f
inal time, then drifted off.
* * *
“How’s she doing?” Brax asked. He was strolling down the hall like he belonged there. No cane, no limp. A totally revitalized man.
Beau nodded. “They just took her in. I’m going to go...” He looked at his grandfather. “Where’s Lucas?”
“With Kelli Dawson. She’s looking after him for the day.”
“She said something, Brax. Deanna said something I don’t understand, and maybe it’s because she was most of the way under, but...” He thought about her words again. Put together, they made sense. But in the whole context of his life they didn’t.
“Judging from they way you’re as white as a ghost, I’d say whatever she told you was pretty earth-shaking.”
“To put it mildly. She told me the baby she’s carrying is mine. To cut a long story short, she was carrying her cousin’s baby, and her cousin died. Deanna said her cousin’s egg was impregnated with my sperm. Earlier she told me that the reason her cousin’s husband didn’t want the baby was that the insemination had been done with the wrong sperm. But—”
“Maybe it’s true. Mistakes happen...” Brax shrugged. “Or maybe what she said was simply the anesthetic ramblings of a woman in love who wants the man she loves to be the father of her baby. That’s been known to happen, too.”
“She loves me?”
“Are you blind, son? That woman turned her life upside down, and it wasn’t because she’s clamoring for a future here in Sugar Creek. She’s been clamoring for you. You’re in love with her, aren’t you?”
“Maybe I am.”
“Maybe, my ass.” Brax squared his shoulders. “Deanna Lambert’s the finest woman you’re ever going to have in your life. If you let her into your life. And if you want my opinion—”
“Like I could stop you,” Beau interrupted.
Not to be dissuaded, Brax continued, “If you want my opinion, you’d be a damned fool to let her get away. Unless it’s her baby that’s stopping you. Is that why you’re out here with me rather than barging your way into surgery and letting her know you’re with her every step of the way?”