by Leslie North
Hoping for a reprieve, he pulled out a fresh piece of paper and began to sketch. Feeling like he was finally getting into his design, he paused.
It was too quiet.
Thinking that Carlita might have fallen asleep, he got up to check on her.
Except that, she wasn’t even in her play pen. “Tamara! Julio!” he shouted as he looked around. “Where is your sister?”
“I have her,” Tamara said with a smile. “She was hungry.”
Nathan looked over to see Carlita in Tamara’s lap with her hand in the peanut butter jar.
There was peanut butter everywhere.
“No!” Nathan said in exasperation. “No, no, no.” Picking up the baby, he looked wildly around. “Julio. Where is your brother?”
Tamara pointed to the bathroom, and Nathan sighed in relief. At least he hadn’t lost anyone yet. “Okay, I’m going to get Carlita cleaned up. When I get back, I want to see some homework done.”
“Where? Your table is all sticky now,” she said.
Damn. “You can use my work table, but make sure you don’t mess up my drawings. Okay?”
“Okay.” She started to gather up their books, and Nathan grabbed Carlita’s diaper bag and carried it and her into the master bathroom. Sitting her on the counter, he turned the water on until it was lukewarm. Finally, he took Carlita’s dress and diaper off and plopped her in the sink. “How did you get peanut butter under your dress?” he asked with a frown as he wiped her down with a washcloth. When she was finally clean, he popped her back into a new diaper and found a blue dress. When he was finished dressing her and pulling her hair back, he stepped back to admire his work.
“You are absolutely adorable,” he said with a smile. “Are you by any chance tired?”
“No!”
He had a feeling she actually meant it this time. “Okay, no more movie for you. You can have some quiet playtime with your stuffed animals.” He walked out of the bathroom and stopped short. Tamara was coloring all over his sketches, and Julio was pulling out his soldering iron from the drawer.
“Put that down!” he yelled as he raced over to him. Ripping the tool out of his hand, he accidentally knocked Julio over. The boy fell on his butt and immediately started to cry.
“Look what you did!” Tamara accused as she tossed her coloring pencils down.
Carlita was joining in on the crying, and no matter how many times Nathan tried to apologize, he couldn’t make himself heard. Sighing, he put the screaming toddler back in her playpen and went back to the table to pick up Julio.
“Are you okay, buddy?” he asked softly.
Julio sniffed a little before running into the bathroom. Nathan heard the distinct sound of the lock and closed his eyes.
He was going to need reinforcements.
Twenty minutes later, there was a knock at the door. Nathan opened it and found Carlo standing there with the pizza. “Ran into the delivery boy. This smells good.”
“Thank God. I am in way over my head,” Nathan said with a sigh of relief. “Julio is locked in the bathroom, Tamara isn’t speaking to me, and Carlita keeps switching between crying and screaming and singing.”
Carlo nodded. “That sounds about right.” He set the pizza on the counter and smiled. “Give me ten minutes. I’m a pro at this.”
Nathan started setting the table with plates and napkins. Milk for the kids, and a beer for him and Carlo. Ten minutes later, Tamara and Julio were standing quietly by the table.
“I’m sorry I colored on your paper,” Tamara said softly.
“I’m sorry I played with your tools,” Julio echoed.
Carlo picked up Carlita and bounced her around until she was cooing and laughing. Nathan smiled at them in relief. “It’s okay, guys. Julio, I’m sorry that I knocked you down. And I’m sorry that I yelled at both of you. Would you like some pizza?”
They nodded and started to climb back up to the kitchen table, but Carlo stopped them. “Why don’t you guys take your pizza into the living room and watch a movie? I want to talk to Nathan.”
Carlo herded them into the living room and started the movie. When he returned, Nathan was collapsed in a kitchen chair and sipping on his beer. “Three hours with the kids, and I managed to make them all cry at the same time and at the same pitch.”
“Don’t worry about it. My first night with Tamara and Julio ended up in the hospital.”
“Jeez,” Nathan muttered. “Which kid was hurt?”
“Neither,” Carlo smiled. “I ended up falling down the stairs and spraining my ankle. Carolina thinks I was clumsy, but I was chasing Tamara around because she’d gotten hold of my electric mixer. Those kids can be menaces.”
Nathan took a bite of his pizza and shook his head. “I finally got Carolina to admit that she wants to take this a step further, but I’ve been so wrapped up in my work that I haven’t been able to see her. Tonight was supposed to get me back in her good graces. As you can see, it’s going real well.”
“I was a terrible father in the beginning. In fact, there are times when I still think that I’m a terrible father, but Carolina still lets me watch them, so I guess I’m not that bad.”
“You are Carlita’s father,” Nathan said dryly.
“Toddlers are easy. There is no persuading them to do or feel anything. One minute they’re happy because the walls are white and the next they’re angry because their stuffed animal is looking at them funny. There is no parenting them. There is only survival mode.”
Nathan chuckled. “That sounds about right.”
“Look, Carolina is great, but she comes with the kids. If you can’t handle them, you’re never going to be able to handle her.” Carlo drained his beer and took a slice of pizza. “All right, I am actually on assignment, so I’ve got to get back. They shouldn’t give you any more problems tonight.”
“I don’t know how to thank you,” Nathan said as he reached out and shook the man’s hand. “You are a lifesaver.”
“You’re a Maxfield, and I’m a reporter. I’m definitely going to collect.” Carlo winked at him and stopped to tell the kids goodbye.
Nathan grabbed his pizza and went to join the kids on the couch. They had finished their dinner and were slowly nodding off. Carlita was already fast asleep.
Turning off the television, he smiled down at them. He never put much thought into being a father before and what little he had, he assumed it would be one child at a time. Trying to navigate his way around three was maddening at times. But seeing them like this, with such content looks on their faces, seemed to make it worth it. Grabbing a blanket, he covered Tamara and Julio where they slept on the couch. Walking over to look down at Carlita in her playpen, his heart fluttered happily. She managed to fall asleep lying on her knees and her diapered bottom was sticking straight up. Reaching out to roll her onto her side, she made a contented noise when he handed her Tail, as she clutched the monkey tightly to her.
When Carolina finally showed up, the kids were still fast asleep.
“Did you see anything that you liked?” he asked softly when he opened the door.
She looked exhausted as she sagged against the door frame. “I found something that might work, but I’m sure Momma is going to shoot it down. How were the kids?”
“Sleeping.”
“Sleeping?” she looked at him, confused. “Really?”
“We had an active afternoon,” he said with a smile. Leaning down, he kissed her gently on the lips. “I’d invite you to stay a little longer, but it’s a school night. Carolina, I really am sorry about canceling the dates. The Wells account is kicking my ass.”
“Nathan, I have a lot going on too, and I’m still trying to make it work. I’m usually pretty easy to please but you need to put in an effort. If we’re going to make this work, we both have to compromise with our time.”
He rested his forehead on hers and ran his hands down her arms. Right before he could kiss her again, he heard some rustling in the living room. “Momma
?”
Carolina pushed past him and smiled. “Hi baby,” she said to Julio. “Did you finish your homework?”
“Yes.” He rubbed his eyes and smiled. “I like it here. Nathan is fun and his TV is huge.”
Nathan snorted, and Carolina shot him a strange look. “Okay baby. Go wake up your sister and let’s go home.”
As Julio went to get Tamara, Carolina smiled at him. “You did good, Nathan.”
“Thanks.”
A mischievous sparkle appeared in her eye. “I’ll tell Carlo you said thanks.”
Nathan ran his hands through his hair and shook his head sheepishly. “How did you know?” he asked her.
Laughing, “I didn’t until this very second but it was smart to call him. He had his own problems when he first started watching the kids on his own. At least, you didn’t call me from the hospital,” she teased.
“He told me about it. I can’t tell you how glad I am that I didn’t have that much trouble.”
Looking at her kids, “Everyone is alive. No one is wearing a cast. I’d say you did good for your first time.”
Shaking his head, he helped her gather everything up and walked everyone to the car. After placing Carlita in her car seat, he watched as she made sure the kids were seat belted in. Placing the stroller and playpen in the trunk, she turned back to him.
Kissing him on the cheek, she bid him goodnight.
As he watched them pull away, he realized that he really did want something with Carolina, but he had no idea how much work it would take.
Still, he had a feeling that she would be worth it but the question remained, was he?
13
“As promised, a day out in the sunshine for a little fun,” Nathan said as he put his hands on his hips.
Carolina stared at the rock formation behind the Castle Rock State Park information sign, and Nathan tried to figure out what she was thinking. The national park boasted everything from Gnarled Oaks to Douglas Fir Trees, with trails that meandered through huge boulder formations and the beauty of the dense forested area. It was heaven for rock climbers and stargazers alike. When the sun set, the sky lit up with a clear view of thousands upon thousands of stars. He was eager to show her one of his favorite places in California. Was she impressed with the size of the cliff? Was she astounded by the beauty of the formations? Was she thinking about how much fun they were going to have?
The park was surprisingly quiet for such a beautiful day and Nathan had expected to see more cars in the parking lot. The trails had recently been cleaned up and he was pleased to see that it would be an easy walk. The shade from the Oaks made it feel cooler but he knew it would warm up quickly.
Nathan had started coming here when he was in high school and he loved it here. One of several places in the Bay Area suitable for spending several hours climbing, he would often come here to burn off steam and the sandstone, while slippery in areas where it was polished smooth from use, had well-worn hand and foot holds from so many climbers before him.
“So we’re here to walk the trails,” she said slowly. Nathan reached into the trunk of his car and pulled out his climbing gear. It had been far too long since he’d dangled from the side of a cliff. Today was what he needed to clear his head and finally finish the Wells project. A few hours of this, and he would be a new man.
“Of course not,” Nathan said with a smile. He grabbed two helmets that he’d recently acquired and put one on Tamara’s head and the other on Julio’s. “We’re going rock climbing.”
“Awesome!” Julio said as he slapped his helmet.
“Oh no,” Carolina said as she grabbed Julio’s hand and fumbled for her daughter’s. “We’re going to walk the trails. You know, the bit where the ground is flat and goes along all on one level. We are not doing ‘up’! We are not rock climbing. Are you out of your mind?”
“Uh,” Nathan looked behind him. “We’re in Joshua Tree Park. This is a rock-climbing park. What did you think we were going to do?”
She glanced in the direction of her kids then pulled Nathan aside. “I thought we were going to have some fun at a park,” she hissed. “Not put my kids’ lives in mortal danger!”
“Carolina, I do this all the time. I wouldn’t let your kids do anything that would hurt them. Most of these formations aren’t even that high. It’s not like I’m going to dangle them miles off the ground. Don’t you trust me?” He searched her eyes, but he saw the fear and doubt in them.
She clenched her jaw and looked down. “They’re my kids, Nathan.”
Her eyes were hard, and he knew that he was fighting a losing battle. With a sigh, he decided he’d go ahead and take the fall. “Kids,” he said with a tight smile. “As it turns out, I forgot some of my climbing gear. I guess we’re going to walk the trails.”
“Aww,” their shoulders slumped, and they took their helmets off.
Carolina touched his arm softly. “Thank you,” she whispered.
“Sure.” He tried to smile at her, but it was hollow. This kind of activity was a huge part of his life. He thrived off the adrenaline, and he felt like Carolina was ignoring that part of him. Burying it and pretending that it didn’t exist. Feeling defeated, he packed the gear away and pulled out his book bag. “Let’s go!”
Tamara and Julio started up the trail, and Carolina took Nathan’s hand. He didn’t pull away, but he could feel the chasm growing between them. Every decision he made was wrong. Trying to spend time with Carolina and trying to do his job was taking its toll. He had little patience left, and he struggled to enjoy his day with her.
He’d promised her a day out where she didn’t have to think about the restaurant. Instead, they were barely speaking to each other, but at least she was still holding his hand. “I have the meeting with Wells in two days,” he said softly. “After that, I should have a little more time on my hands.”
“That’s nice,” she said softly.
“If he had gone with my original design, everything would be great. The condemned shopping strip needs a little work, but it’s beautiful, and I really wanted to transfer that beauty into the new buildings. Maybe even keep as much of the original structure standing as possible.”
“That would be beautiful.” Carolina squeezed his hand. “What happened?”
“Wells hated it. I don’t understand that man. When we first talked about this project months ago, he wanted something phenomenal, something different. And now he wants something cost-effective and boring.”
Carolina snorted. “That probably has something to do with his new wife, the child-bride. If she does everything like she purchases wine, she’s probably bleeding him dry.”
He grunted and watched as the kids ran a little off the path to start climbing a tree. Carolina tucked her hair behind her ears and reminded them to be careful. “What happens when another account comes along? Will you hole up in your apartment for weeks at a time until you finish it?”
Letting go of her hand, he gripped her shoulder and turned her to face him. “Carolina, can we enjoy one date without fighting or worrying about the future?”
“Sure.” She gave him a tight smile and started to follow the trail once more. Nathan watched her go. He had a feeling in the pit of his stomach that he’d somehow messed everything up again.
His moments with her seemed to happen in little snippets. He reveled in the infrequent kisses that he could steal from her, and the way that she looked at him, but it was starting to feel like it wasn’t enough. Still, he couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something there. He just needed to push through until they found their groove.
“Carolina,” he called out as he hurried forward. She looked over her shoulder at him, and he reached out to take her hand again. “If they tire themselves out, they’ll probably nap when we get home. We might be able to have a few minutes to ourselves before you have to pick Carlita up.”
She took a deep breath and searched his face. Finally, she gave him a small smile. “That will be nice.”<
br />
Nathan put his arm around her, and she rested her head on his shoulder. For a few seconds, everything was right. It was the snippets like this, between the fighting and the doubts that made him feel like everything was okay.
“Momma, look!”
“What is it, Tamara?” Carolina called out as they joined the kids. Looking to where she was pointing, Nathan smiled.
Rappelling down the side of a rock was a woman with two small children. When she got to the bottom, she helped them unhook from their rope lines before turning around. Nathan heard Carolina gasp when she saw that the woman was pregnant.
“Alex!” he called out as she looked up in surprise.
“Nathan, how are you? Where’s your gear? Is this your girlfriend? Who are these darling children?”
Laughing, Nathan held up his hands in defeat. “I’m good. My gear is in the car. This is Carolina and her kids, Tamara and Julio. Carolina, this is Alex and her twins, Simon and Sarah. Where’s Davis?”
Waving her hand behind her, “With Samantha.”
“She’s climbing already? Is she even out of diapers yet?” Nathan asked, hoping Carolina would see how young the twins were and understand that her concern about danger was a bit exaggerated.
“Just,” Alex answered as she laughed. “I swear, she was born to climb the way she attacks the climbing wall. It’s all Davis can do to get the safety gear on her before she’s tackling a rock.”
“How old are you?” Julio interrupted as he looked at the twins.
“Five,” they answered in unison, their voices sounding like nothing more than the squeak of a mouse.
“Oh, wow,” Julio replied. “Nathan, can we come back here again only this time with your climbing gear? I want to try it.”
Alex looked as though she was going to offer to let him try, so Nathan quickly spoke up. “Tell you what, Julio. If your mom says its okay, how about we start some place a bit easier, like the climbing wall down on the Pier.”