by Andy Stanley
I know from my own experience that it is far easier to believe in than to surrender to God. It’s easier to ask myself our big question than it is to sincerely ask it of the Father. But the Cross stands as a constant reminder that I have nothing to fear. God can be trusted. After all, he has already demonstrated his unconditional love for me.
The Best of the Best
In the end, here’s what it all comes down to. Our willingness to ask and respond to this question depends upon our willingness to make an important decision—the decision to fully submit our lives to our heavenly Father. This is where wisdom begins.
What’s true of my children in the realm of art is true of all of us in our lives, relationships, and finances. We know all too well what happens when we paint on our own, when we wave God off in order to choose our own colors, strokes, and textures. Each of us carries the scars, the memories, and the regrets of those seasons when our wills took precedence over his.
God desires that your life be a masterpiece that reflects his greatness and your uniqueness. But to create a masterpiece with our lives, we must submit ourselves to the hand of the Master. We must allow him to influence each stroke on the canvas of our lives.
So let me ask you. Have you made this decision? Have you fully surrendered all of you to all of him? Have you predecided to submit to his will before you know what he will ask? If not, I can’t think of a more appropriate way to end our time together than to give you an opportunity to pray a prayer of surrender. There’s nothing special about these words. It is the attitude of your heart that will make the difference.
Heavenly Father,
Today I place myself under your authority. I surrender all of me to you. As you demonstrated your love for me through the death of your Son, so I desire to demonstrate my love for you through a renewed mind and surrendered will. Thy will be done in me. I surrender all. In the name of my Savior, I pray.
Amen.
Epilogue
It is possible to live life with few regrets. Regret-free living is found on the path of wisdom. So as we part ways, let me ask you one more time.
What is the wise thing for you to do?
In light of your past experience, your current circumstances, and your future hopes and dreams, what is the wise thing for you to do?
A wise man put it this way:
Those who trust in themselves are fools, but those who walk in wisdom are kept safe. (Proverbs 28:26)
My hope for you is that you would walk wisely and experience God’s deliverance all the days of your life.
Study Guide
The questions in this Study Guide are for your reflection as you read through Ask It. Use them to help you get the most from this book and to apply it to your life.
If you’re part of a group that’s going through this book together and meeting regularly to discuss it, the arrangement here works well for covering the entire book in six weekly sessions. Notice that the questions below are grouped according to the six parts of the book.
These six parts also correspond to the six sessions of Andy’s Ask It DVD series. If your group is planning to watch the video series together as well as read through the book, be sure to discuss each time how the video content enhances, deepens, and illustrates what you read in the chapters.
Part 1: The Question
(Week One)
Read the Introduction and chapters 1–7.
(These chapters correspond with the Ask It DVD series session 1.)
Introduction
1. Andy says that our greatest regrets in life could have been avoided if we had asked this valuable question and then acted on our conclusions. What particular appeal does this promise hold for you?
Chapter 1: Dumb and Dumber
2. What are some examples of particularly unwise decisions you’ve seen people make?
3. Andy states that while none of us actually plan to mess up our lives, few of us plan not to. What might be some examples of the kind of “planning” you believe could keep people from messing up their lives?
Chapter 2: A Most Uncomfortable Question
4. What are some common ways in which we tend to deceive ourselves into making unwise decisions? What causes us to do this?
Chapter 3: The Slippery Slope
5. Andy focuses here on Ephesians 5:15–17. What do you see as the most important and relevant teachings in this brief passage?
6. Based on what you see in Ephesians 5:15–17, how would you define wisdom as it relates practically to how we live our lives?
7. When we’re contemplating a specific behavior or action, what’s the danger of asking ourselves, “Is there anything wrong with it?”
Chapter 4: Climate Control
8. Andy asserts here that the culture around us is not “morally neutral” but rather morally and ethically perilous. Or, as Paul stated it, “The days are evil” (Ephesians 5:16). Are you convinced that this is indeed true about the times in which we live? If so, what convinces you of this?
9. Also in that Ephesians passage, Paul went on to tell us, “Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is” (5:17). What do you think this understanding involves? How can we gain it?
Chapter 5: Stemming the Tide
10. Here Andy encourages us to add the phrase “in light of your past experience” to the question, “What’s the wise thing for me to do?” What are some particularly important factors in your unique past that can help you make wise decisions for today and tomorrow?
11. How would past experience change the answer to “What’s wise?” for various people? As an example, can you think of a particular decision or behavior that would be wise for one person but unwise for another—all because of his or her past experience?
Chapter 6: Seasonal Wisdom
12. Andy also encourages us to add the phrase “in light of my current circumstances” to the question, “What’s the wise thing for me to do?” As you seek to make wise decisions, what aspects of your present circumstances are most important for you to be aware of?
13. As an example of this “seasonal wisdom,” can you think of a decision or behavior that would have been wise for you at one time in your life, but unwise at another point?
Chapter 7: Looking Ahead
14. We’re also to add the phrase “in light of my future hopes and dreams” to the question, “What’s the wise thing for me to do?” As potential factors that should influence your wise decision making, what are your most important hopes and dreams?
15. What particular value do you think it might have for your life if you got into the habit of regularly asking, “What is the wise thing for me to do?”
16. In this chapter’s closing pages, Andy asks, “As you evaluate where you are financially, relationally, morally, professionally, and spiritually, what would you do differently in each of these areas if you were to embrace our question?” How would you answer this question in each of those areas?
Part 2: The Alternatives
(Week Two)
Read chapters 8–9.
(These chapters correspond with the Ask It DVD series session 2.)
Chapter 8: Opting Out
1. As you face decisions in life, how easy is it to remember to ask, “What’s the wise thing for me to do?” How fully can you expect this to become a strong habit for the rest of your life?
2. In what kinds of situations do you most often sense a need for wisdom?
3. In the near future, what are some decisions you’ll face—either large or small—for which you especially want to think clearly and wisely?
4. What are some examples you have observed of people who fit the portrait Solomon gave in Proverbs of a “simple” person?
5. What are some examples you have observed of people who fit the portrait Solomon gave of a “fool”?
6. What are some examples you have observed of people who fit the portrait Solomon gave of a “mocker” or “scoffer”?
7. For each of those three categories,
what do you see as the strongest contrast with the wise person?
Chapter 9: Turn Around
8. What is your typical response to receiving correction from someone? How easily do you reach the point of being grateful for such correction?
9. Andy focuses on Proverbs 1:20–33, where wisdom is personified as a woman in the streets calling out to everyone. What stands out most to you in this portrait of wisdom at work?
10. As “Wisdom” speaks in Proverbs 1, she mentions the kinds of people who refuse to listen to her. What do you see as the most important reasons certain people reject wisdom, despite its proven benefits?
11. What evidence and examples have you seen of the lasting consequences for those who reject wisdom?
12. In your own life, what particular appeal do you find in the promise given in Wisdom’s closing sentence in this passage (verse 33)?
Part 3: A Question of Time
(Week Three)
Read chapters 10–11.
(These chapters correspond with the Ask It DVD series session 3.)
Chapter 10: Time Bandits
1. Andy states here that to simply recognize that our days are numbered (see Psalm 90:12) represents “a giant step toward becoming men and women of wisdom.” Why do you think this is true? What practical difference could that make in how we use our time?
2. Andy also says, “Time is life.” How fully do you agree with that assessment?
3. What is a good example of the cumulative value of investing small amounts of time in certain activities over a long period?
4. Another principle Andy gives is that neglect has a cumulative effect. What example can you give of how neglecting to give time to a certain matter brought about an increasingly negative result?
5. What are some examples of random things that we too easily allow to interfere with the truly important things?
6. Andy says that wasting time is the equivalent of wasting life. What kinds of things can cause us to lose sight of this truth?
Chapter 11: Live and Learn
7. Andy writes that we cannot make up for lost time in the truly critical arenas of life. How fully do you agree with that statement?
8. What example can you give of having tried to make up for lost time in some aspect of life?
9. Read what Paul said in Ephesians 5:15–16 about our use of time. How would you express this in your own words?
10. In the area of your health and physical well-being, what’s one small investment you could make over time that, with consistency, would bring a positive result?
11. In your relationships, what’s one small investment you could make over time that, with consistency, would bring a positive result?
12. Likewise, in your professional life—in your work and career—what’s one small investment you could make over time that, with consistency, would bring a positive result?
13. Finally, in the spiritual area of your life, what’s one small investment you could make over time that, with consistency, would bring a positive result?
Part 4: A Question of Morality
(Week Four)
Read chapters 12–16.
(These chapters correspond with the Ask It DVD series session 4.)
Chapter 12: Sex for Dummies
1. Andy writes, “No regret runs deeper than the regret associated with unwise moral decisions.” How have you seen this to be true, either in your own life or the lives of others?
2. Andy exposes our tendency in times of sexual temptation to think that our situations and feelings are unique. Why is this not true, and why is this attitude so dangerous?
Chapter 13: Hindsight
3. “Our greatest moral regrets,” Andy writes, “are always preceded by a series of unwise choices.” How have you seen this to be true, either in your own life or the lives of others?
4. Consider the story of Frank and Sheila. At what points would you offer advice to either or both of them, and what would you say?
5. In exactly what ways were Frank and Sheila being unwise?
Chapter 14: Life Rules
6. What cultural pressures often keep us from acting wisely in the area of sexual morality?
7. What particular value do you see in having personal moral standards?
8. What do you consider to be the right criteria for evaluating a particular moral standard?
Chapter 15: Extreme Measures
9. There are always consequences, Andy explains, when we cross certain lines sexually. Why is this more profoundly true in the area of sexual morality than in other areas of life?
10. Andy asks a tough question in two ways: “To what extreme would you be willing to go to protect your children from having to navigate the complexities of a home divided over someone’s sexual impropriety, be it adultery or a sexual addiction?” To put it another way, “What precautions would you be willing to take in order to ensure that they never have to suffer through the emotional complications of a broken home?” How would you answer those questions?
Chapter 16: Flee!
11. Look again at Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 6:18. What is the value and power of this counsel? Why is it wise teaching?
12. How would you explain the distinctiveness of sexual sin as Paul described it in 1 Corinthians 6:18?
13. How can we find and truly experience forgiveness for past sexual sins?
14. How does God ultimately want us to think of this gift of sex that he has granted men and women?
Part 5: Wisdom for the Asking
(Week Five)
Read chapters 17–20.
(These chapters correspond with the Ask It DVD series session 5.)
Chapter 17: Hide and Seek
1. How exactly does an emotionally charged environment hinder the making of wise decisions?
2. This chapter speaks of the reality that we all reach the limits of our expertise in certain areas where we’re expected to make wise decisions. What are some ways that you’ve experienced this?
Chapter 18: Knowing What You Don’t Know
3. What are some ways in which you’ve especially benefitted from seeking the counsel of others?
4. Look again at 1 Kings 3:7–12, the passage Andy quotes that tells of interaction between God and Solomon, the new king of Israel. What does this passage reveal about both God’s heart and Solomon’s heart?
5. Also review James 1:5. What healthy attitude does this passage promote?
6. This chapter gives a selection of verses in Proverbs on the subject of seeking counsel from others. How would you summarize this collective teaching in your own words?
Chapter 19: Everybody’s Business
7. What are some factors that cause us to resist the seeking and receiving of counsel from other people?
8. Andy mentions here that though we may make “personal” decisions in private, the results will generally become known publicly. Have you thought of this before? To what extent do you see this to be true?
9. Why is it important to realize how much our personal decisions affect other people?
Chapter 20: Listening, Learning
10. Andy states here, “You will never reach your full potential without help and advice from the outside.” Do you agree? To what extent are you convinced that this is true in your own life? In what particular areas of your life is it most true?
Part 6: The Best Decision Ever
(Week Six)
Read chapters 21–22 and the Epilogue.
(These chapters correspond with the Ask It DVD series session 6.)
Chapter 21: Perfecting Your Follow-Through
1. Andy emphasizes the fact that certain rules and principles, certain laws and techniques, are present in every aspect and arena of life—and we have to know them and submit to them in order to operate successfully in those realms. What are some of these important rules and principles that apply in your particular line of work, in your chosen hobbies, or in other activities in which you’re regularly involved?
Chapt
er 22: The Beginning of Wisdom
2. What would you say are some of the most important rules and principles we must know and submit to in each of the following areas: marriage, parenting, personal finances, friendship, work, time management?
3. Andy links the most important rules and principles that govern life to God, the Author of life. Why is this connection so important to recognize?
4. Look again at Proverbs 9:10, which talks about the “beginning of wisdom.” How does this truth relate to your own life? How does it relate to everyone’s life?
5. In what practical ways do you see that God is the source of all wisdom?
6. In the biblical phrase “the fear of the LORD,” Andy defines fear as being “recognition and reverence that lead to submission.” How would you describe fear in your own words as this term relates to you and God?