by Linda Maran
“Maybe both. The sign on the post can just say, Wagler’s. And the one across the top front of the building can say Wagler’s General Store, plus a short list of some of the items sold here. Dry Goods, Sundries, Seed. That kind of thing.”
John turned to Daniel and saw his own smile duplicated on his brudder’s face.
“That’s a great idea, Kristen.” Daniel’s eyes danced with excitement. “I can picture it in my head. I’m going to burn the letters into the post sign, nice and big. And I will paint the sign for the building in green with black lettering.”
“You do the lettering freehand?” Kristen widened her eyes.
“Sure,” he said, his head tilted and his lips quirked.
John stifled a chuckle. Daniel didn’t know the depth of his own talents. Woodworking and crafting came as natural to him as walking. His lack of pride was a tribute to his Amish upbringing and to the kind of person he was.
“I can’t draw a straight line,” Kristen told him, then shrugged.
“You don’t have to draw to come up with gut ideas, like you did with the signs,” John said.
“Thanks.” She gave him a soft smile that sent a weakness running through him. Then she reached for a broom.
“Mamm told me to make sure you don’t do any cleaning or lifting. I brought this pad and pencil for you to write down where you think certain items should go.”
Kristen turned to him and rolled her eyes.
“My hand is fine.”
“Mamm said you promised her,” John reminded, holding out the pad and pencil to her.
“Fine. I’ll take notes, but if you don’t mind, I’d like to take photos of the store with my cell phone, so I can study the different sections later. I’ll never remember how many shelves there are and all of that.” John was tempted to give her a playful smirk, but he needed to try to refrain from such flirtatious gestures.
“Here is a tape measure. Can you please measure the space between each set of shelves and jot it down? That will make it easier to decide what to put on them.”
“I wouldn’t have even thought of that.” She slapped her forehead.
“I only thought of it because we’ve built things many times over and cut the wood to size for certain items. We decided to use the shelves as they are here to save on time and money.”
“OK. I’ll measure them all. No need to watch me. I know how to do it.” She nearly glared at him when he failed to move along.
He didn’t doubt her ability; he just liked being near her. He nodded and walked to the counter where he had some wood soap cleaner waiting. Best to keep busy and get his mind off of Kristen Esh. At least for the next couple of hours.
~*~
Kristen tried not to let her mind wander as she measured each shelf. She realized that Derick had taken a backseat to John in her mind these days…and in her heart. And all she could think of was what it would feel like measuring and cleaning up a home that would be hers and John’s.
Of course, the thought was pure fantasy. He was Amish. She was not. He would not leave for the outside world, and she didn’t know what she was going to do next.
Everything was on hold until she heard from Riley Gallagher on the status of her mom’s will and Ross’s estate. Even if she inherited a large sum of money, where would she go? As much as she loved the ocean, would she want to go back to a place where her friends had deserted her? The Jersey Shore would now remind her of being forsaken and taking her mom from her. Maybe she could live in a neighboring town. The ocean would always be a part of her heart, even if her friends and mother were no longer in her life.
“Kristen. Time to go.” Daniel startled her. “John’s out front in the buggy. We got chores to do back at the haus. Daed, Mamm and Aenti Miriam will be coming after we have lunch.”
“Can I stay here and wait for them? I’m not finished with the measuring yet. I’ll be fine on my own for a while.” The fact was, she wanted some time alone to think and maybe to fantasize a bit more, uninterrupted.
“Don’tcha want to eat lunch?”
“I had a lot for breakfast. I’m not really hungry,” she told him.
“Then I guess it’s OK. I’ll tell John you’re staying. See you later.” With that, Daniel was out the door.
Suddenly the place went quiet. So quiet, that she heard the wood floor boards creak in spots where she walked that she hadn’t noticed before.
Kristen gazed at the work rags on the counter. Then at the clusters of dust in the corners of the floor. She went around the counter to a small sink to dampen a rag to dust with. No one had to know she’d dusted. Besides, it wasn’t strenuous work.
An actual faucet! She turned it on. Running water. The owner wasn’t an Amish man, so that explained it. Although, she’d heard that Amish were allowed running water at their places of business and even in the home if a good reason precipitated it. It was all up to the district’s Bishop. Their bishop seemed nice enough when she’d met him at Preaching. She would see Bishop Ebersol every two weeks at future church services and wondered if he’d question her intentions about the faith. Well, his guess was as good as hers at this point.
After the hour had passed, Kristen was done with all the dusting. A damp rag did a good job on the shelves and worked well when tied around a broom to get the dust off the floors. She’d been careful to keep her bandage clean and dry by wearing one of the rubber gloves John had brought.
As she leaned back on the counter to appraise her work, the door opened. Aunt Elizabeth and Aunt Miriam entered, their expressions gloomy.
Kristen looked from one aunt to the other. “Did something happen to John?” She blurted out. “Or little Anna?”
They shook their heads.
“Come, Kristen. We need to go back to the haus. Aenti Miriam will stay here to clean. And you haven’t even eaten any lunch yet.” Aunt Elizabeth placed her hand on the small of Kristen’s back and motioned her to the door. She had that look Kristen had seen the day her mom had died. A look of trying to cushion her from something bad that had happened.
When they arrived home, Riley Gallagher sat on the sofa with Uncle Jonas.
They looked up at her with strained smiles. She was beginning to feel a sense of dread.
“Kristen! You look…well, wonderfully Amish!” Riley rose to greet her.
“Looks are deceiving. I have a long way to go to become Amish. My aunt and uncle here can tell you that.” She embraced him.
“That’s not what I heard,” he said as they parted. “Let’s sit down. I need to talk with you about your mom’s will and Ross’s estate.” Riley pointed to the oak rocker across from the sofa.
Aunt Elizabeth remained standing, fiddling with the strings of her prayer kapp. She did that whenever she was nervous.
Riley cleared his throat and then said the words that Kristen had to ask him to repeat.
“Are you telling me that Ross has a will, and I’m not in it at all?”
Riley nodded.
“What about my mom? Is she in his will?”
“No, she’s not.”
“And my mom’s will?”
“Since she made me executor of her will, she told me about her wish for you to come here when we drew it up. I knew what her Last Will and Testament contained for several years now. She left you her savings. It’s a nice sum. And she left some money to the Waglers for any expenses incurred during your stay here should she pass before you were of legal age to support yourself or marry.”
So, they would be paid for taking her in?
As if Aunt Elizabeth could read her thoughts, she quickly put up a hand. “Ach, nee! Please add that money to Kristen’s inheritance. We do not want money for having our niece here, ain’t so, Jonas?”
“Jah. The Lord has blessed us with plenty to go around.”
Riley smiled. “There is also a letter I’m to give to the bishop, and an item wrapped in brown paper for a Jacob Mast in the event of her death. I might need one of you to come with me to del
iver these. Emily requested they be given in person, and I don’t know my way around the Amish communities.”
Jonas nodded.
Kristen’s head reeled. “Jacob Mast? Why him?”
“Kristen, Jacob Mast was once your mamm’s beau,” Aunt Elizabeth clarified.
“What’s in the package?” Kristen asked, thoroughly confused.
“We can’t open it, Kristen. It’s private and to be given directly to him, as is the letter to the bishop,” Riley informed her as he stood to leave.
Where did the bishop come in?
“Riley, before you go. Who did Ross leave the house and his money to?”
“The bulk of his estate is willed to Mattie Cook, and a specified amount is to pay for the cost of an assisted living place for a widowed elderly aunt, Helen Maddok, in California.”
“Ah, Mattie. Sure, he’d been seeing her for years and they were headed for marriage. Still, I don’t understand why he would leave me out completely? I’ve known him since I was born, and we got along fine. He even named his boat after me.” She hung her head in shame. Had she failed him somewhere along the line? The man who’d taken her under his wing yet did not deem her worthy enough to be part of his will?
“You can go to the house and collect whatever things you left behind if you like. Clothes, CDs, photos. Those are yours for the taking.”
“I’d rather not go back there. Can you please mail me the few things that I’ll list on paper? It isn’t much.” She suppressed the tears. Anger dominated her hurt, and she preferred to keep it that way. She refused to cave in to sentiments. After all, Ross Maddok wasn’t her father or any relation at all. He was her mom’s employer and friend, and they lived in his beach house because Mom was live-in help. True, he was her confidante many times, but never family. Or even like family. And now his will proved that.
12
The next morgen John hid his disappointment when Kristen’s chair remained empty for the duration of breakfast. He’d come in several times from the fields with the excuse of needing some cold lemonade. Still no sign of her.
On his fourth time back to the kitchen, he spied his mamm going up the stairs with a tray in her hands. A subtle scent of chamomile lingered in the room. Mamm relied on chamomile tea to remedy nearly every ailment, especially those borne of sadness and nerves.
He could only imagine the pain Kristen was going through. The tragedy of losing her mom followed by one thing after the other. Now this. He wished he could make it all right for her. But how? Grief needed time to heal. She had much to grieve. He tried to imagine having to suddenly leave the farm and the home where he’d been raised, due to a tragedy. Then placed with familye members he’d never known. Without one item or memento left to him from his former life.
He’d told Kristen that it wasn’t one’s place to question Gott’s ways. Now he wished he’d said more. Something personal and caring. Gott had always been his rock and he wanted Kristen to feel that same sense of surety in her time of struggle. But he suddenly realized that he’d never had such struggles as Kristen. Maybe it was too easy for him to trust in Gott’s care given his circumstances—a happy, secure childhood with parents and siblings at his side. Jah, the loss of his birth mamma when he’d entered the world was, indeed, a sad thing, but he’d never known his mamma, and his step-mamm raised him with as much love and care as any kind could ever want.
From what Kristen had told him, most of her life had been a lonely one.
Until now.
He hoped her new familye here could fill up the empty places in her heart. More than that, he hoped he’d be part of what would replace the emptiness. A big part. Never mind his daed’s thoughts on all of this. John would get around that, one way or another.
~*~
The following morgen when John came in for breakfast, Kristen was at the stove with Mamm, dressed in a Plain, dark green dress. She stirred cornmeal mush while Mamm sliced the grain bread. The bread slicing reminded him that Kristen was due to have her stitches out yesterday but she still wore the bandage on her hand.
“Goede Mariye,” he said as he walked to his chair.
Mamm turned and smiled, but Kristen barely acknowledged his greeting with a slight turn of her head and a nod.
“Kristen, if you need a ride to the doctor to get the stitches out, I’d be glad to take you. It’s not too far for a buggy ride.” He helped himself to orange juice.
She brought the cornmeal mush to the table in a large bowl. “Thanks, John, but I called Angela to drive me. She’ll be here at nine thirty.” She finally glanced at him just long enough to reveal red eyes underlined by dark circles.
His heart went out to her, but he said nothing of it.
“We have other errands to run afterward, so might as well kill two birds with one stone, as they say.” She turned toward the ice box.
“Kristen wants to go with Attorney Riley Gallagher when he delivers the items her mamm left with him. He stayed an extra nacht at The Palatine Hotel ’til she was up to going. He’ll be going with them,” Mamm clarified.
“I can come with you if you like? You don’t know your way around.”
“Angela does. She drove us to Lowville, remember? Riley said he’d take care of paying for the driving and gas. He has his car but rather not chance getting lost. GPS doesn’t get a reliable signal around here. Anyway, we worked it out.” She placed a tub of budder and a jar of jam on the table.
Something had grown cold in Kristen. Her tone of voice was hard and empty. She didn’t look at anyone when she spoke. She’d been broken. He wanted to fix her. Daed said only Gott could do that. Still, he wanted to help.
“If you change your mind, come fetch me from the store. I’ll be there most of the day painting.”
“Thanks, but we’ll be fine.” Kristen avoided his eyes and took a seat with the rest of the family.
Anna ran to the stove to get the kaffee she’d made earlier. She set it on the table, and they bowed their heads in silent prayer. Too short for all John wanted to say.
~*~
When Kristen closed her eyes she saw the smiling face of Ross Maddok and the usual thumbs-up gesture he’d give her each time he’d leave for a trip…including the last and final one.
She opened her eyes with a start, and her glance fell on John. He looked right back at her. He should be praying, not watching her. She turned her gaze away. There was no point in nurturing her fondness for John. She couldn’t become like him in her faith with all that had happened. She couldn’t follow his suggestion to pray and trust in God’s will. So far, the will of God had caused her nothing but grief. She knew that if they spoke about this latest setback, he’d bring up the topic of faith and encourage her to pray and trust.
Trust.
Now there was a word with a meaning she’d yet to experience from another. Well, maybe that wasn’t altogether true. John Wagler certainly seemed to be the most trustworthy person she’d met so far in her entire life. But she’d thought the same about Cindy and Derick, her two closest friends. And look where it got her.
She’d trusted her mother and the choices she’d made for the two of them. But she’d been kept in the dark about her mom being Amish. She could have had cousins, aunts, and uncles while growing up.
Whatever made her think that Ross would will the house to her? Sure, he’d told her often that he’d wished he’d had a daughter like her. And she was always going on about how much she loved living by the beach. It didn’t mean that she was entitled to his home. He had a life outside of their little beach house world where her mom worked and they happened to live. Ironically, they’d died only a few months before she’d soon turn eighteen and be of legal age to live there…if...Ha! If was just a fantasy. Mattie Cook owned the house now.
With ocean breezes, running water, and electricity.
And loneliness. At least here, she wasn’t lonely. Family flanked her on a daily basis, especially John.
Should she begin her task to trust in God’
s will in this new life by placing her wounded heart into John’s care? She wanted to. Maybe God wanted her to.
Kristen cleared her throat and then looked over to John as he reached for the corn mush. “Do you think you can put off a few hours of the painting to come along, then?”
John stopped spooning the mush into his bowl and looked up at her. His blue eyes widened with surprise. Did she see a spark of happiness ignite in his gaze?
“Jah, sure. I’ll be at the store ready to go whenever you and Mr. Gallagher come by with Angela.”
“Seems gut that someone in the familye will be with you, Kristen. Denki, John,” Uncle Jonas said.
Aunt Elizabeth nodded her approval to her husband with a quiet smile.
Would Uncle Jonas thank John for his willingness to go along if he knew the feelings stirred up in Kristen’s heart?
No matter. She’d committed this act of trust to God regarding John, and she intended to see it out.
~*~
When Kristen emerged from the doctor’s office, she bent her fingers as if not believing they were still there.
“Think your hand is in working order?” John got up from his seat in the waiting room to have a look.
“Yes. It feels so good to move my fingers like this again. I better be extra careful the next time I slice bread. That is, if your mamm will ever let me do it again.”
“Sure she will. Everyone has accidents now and then. They tend to make us extra careful, and I bet you won’t ever cut yourself slicing bread again.”
“Time will tell,” Kristen answered, as she headed outside where Angela and Riley Gallagher waited in the car.
Time would tell. Those words spilled forth as naturally as a soft cascade of water. Kristen wondered if her subconscious had already decided to stay on in Stone Arabia. At least for a time.
The ride to Lowville was uneventful and the traffic on the interstate was sparse. As always, Angela talked about various topics to keep her passengers entertained.
Kristen was glad that she rattled on because she didn’t want Riley to begin any sort of conversation about the whole estate issue. She wasn’t up for it. All she wanted to do was be there when Riley gave Jacob Mast the package and Bishop Ebersol the letter. Not that she didn’t trust Riley to do it without her presence. She simply wanted to be present while her mother’s wishes were carried out.