by Linda Maran
“Kristen?” She gasped a startle and nearly dropped her sandwich.
“John!”
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I just thought you might want a cup of lemonade.” Kristen took the cup he held out to her. “And if you don’t go and taste a piece of Anna’s fudge, she might wear a frown the rest of the day.”
Kristen laughed. “John? Are you upset with me or something?”
“Nee, of course not. Why should I be?”
“I don’t know. You seem different, that’s all.” She kept studying his stoic expression and then it began to soften.
“Kristen…” he began.
“John! Kristen! Anna is waiting for you to have some fudge,” Uncle Jonas called.
“Come. We best be going.” But before John turned to walk back to the table, the warm full smile she missed so much graced his face just for her.
14
When they returned from the picnic, Kristen found Cindy and Aunt Miriam at the kitchen table having iced tea.
Cindy turned and looked at Kristen with an opened mouth and her jaw nearly hitting the floor. “Kristen! I almost didn’t recognize you dressed like that.” She sprang up from her chair to embrace her.
“Cindy. It feels like ages since I’ve seen you. So much has happened in these past couple of months.” Kristen then turned to the others and made the introductions.
“Kristen tells us that you’ll be staying over with us. We’re glad to have you.” Aunt Elizabeth smiled and put the picnic quilts down on a stool.
“Thank you. Had I known I was staying I’d have brought something.”
“Never mind that,” Aunt Elizabeth told her. “We’re just happy that Kristen has one of her old friends visiting, ain’t so, Jonas?”
“Jah, it’s gut for friends to keep in touch.”
Aunt Miriam cleared her throat to capture everyone’s attention. “Cindy has come with some news, and I told her that it’d be gut if the whole familye learned of it along with our Kristen.”
Uncle Jonas sat at the table and motioned for everyone to join him.
John cast a surprised look Kristen’s way just as she looked to him for some kind of reassurance. He nodded with a faint smile, as if to say everything would be all right.
“Go ahead, Cindy. Tell us your news,” Uncle Jonas urged as everyone settled into their chairs.
“I don’t know where to start. I don’t want to upset you, Kristen,” Cindy began.
“Would you like me to tell them what you told me during our visit earlier?” Aunt Miriam asked.
Cindy nodded and brushed a tear from her cheek.
Kristen’s heart began to race. She wasn’t sure just how much more she could take.
Aunt Miriam turned to her with kind eyes. Something Kristen still wasn’t used to. “Kristen. When you hear what I’m going to tell you, please keep in mind that you have a familye here and that your news is our news. Your happiness is our happiness. Your pain our pain. Jah?”
Kristen nodded. There was a wall of strength all around her like she’d never felt before. Still, she braced herself.
“The police are investigating whether or not the boating accident was really an accident at all. Seems that a woman named Mattie Cook came forward to the police with some news.”
“Mattie? Ross’s girlfriend?” Kristen said.
Aunt Miriam paused, and then went on. “Jah, she claims that she and Ross had a relationship for years and were planning to be married. But her son became angry that she and his father would now never reconcile. Mattie divorced him when her boy was just eight years old.”
“Are we talking about Alex Cook? The boy who works at the boat dock for the Shark River Hills Country Club?” Kristen looked toward Cindy.
She nodded.
“Alex, jah,” Aunt Miriam continued. “The newspaper article said that he’d told Mattie that he was still waiting for her to leave Ross, not marry him. Said he’d never step foot in Ross’s haus. She relates that he became so angry at one point that he told her he’d be moving, and then stormed out the door. Mattie told the police that as he left, he yelled the words, ‘I’ll kill him. I’ll kill him.’
“That’s why after the boating accident, Mattie got to thinking that maybe her own son caused the boat to explode the way it did, being that he tended the boats at the country club where Ross docked his boat. She thinks he listened in on the other phone the night she and Ross spoke of going to lunch with Emily to discuss all of their plans. Ross said that he and Emily would meet her with the boat at the Seafood Harbor Dock, where they’d eat. So, Alex knew Ross and Emily would be on the boat that day, alone, to go meet his mom.”
Cindy took Kristen’s hand. “See, Kristen, all of this has been in the paper, and our parents didn’t want us to call you or visit, because they were worried for our safety. At first, the tip was given anonymously, so no one knew who might be the suspect. And then a couple of weeks later, Mattie came forward and said she’d been the one who’d given the tip. She didn’t want to be the center of a scandal, but her conscience got the best of her. And now Alex is a suspect.”
“Cindy. How…how did he cause the explosion? I was told that it was an open container of gas that Ross had on the boat.”
“According to the papers, it was gasoline fumes that caused it. But not from an open container. There was a leak in the gas tank itself and it filled the hull with fumes. They said that any kind of friction could cause a spark and set it off, even static electricity. Thank goodness, you didn’t go along with them that day.” She handed Kristen a tissue.
“I can’t believe all of this. I mean, Ross was seeing Mattie for so long. I’d seen her at the house many times, and he told me how much he liked her. But I had no idea that Alex was so against it. Did my mother know about this?”
“Jah, she did. And there’s one more thing, niece. See, Alex accused Ross of being in lieb with your mamm and having an affair with her while also seeing his mother. He despised your mamm, too.”
“That’s not true at all. Ross and my mother never had an affair. No wonder Alex hardly spoke to me. All this time he’d thought…I wonder if anyone else thought the same thing?”
“People always find something to wag their tongues about, Kristen. I’m sure other homeowners there have live-in help. Jah?”
“Yes. But Ross was a single man, and no one probably knew that my mom was married, except for Ross’s close friends and mine. What it looked like never occurred to me before now. I bet Alex had plenty to say to people at the country club about his take on it.”
Cindy shrugged.
Everyone remained silent.
Then Kristen got up and ran upstairs.
~*~
John wished he could go after Kristen to comfort her. To console her. To hug her. Instead, he sat, trying to process all that he’d just heard. Day after day, week after week, more surprises unfolded for Kristen and the familye.
Mamm stood. Her eyes gleamed with tears, but she said nothing. She went to the cooler, took the leftover sandwiches out, and put them in the ice chest. Then she came back to the table with one of the sandwiches and a large pitcher of lemonade.
Aenti Miriam got some glasses from the cupboard.
“Have yourself a sandwich and some lemonade, Cindy. You’ve been waiting on us for a few hours.” Mamm filled her glass.
“Thank you. But maybe I should go up to Kristen. I haven’t been a very good friend to her these past couple of months. Things just happened so quickly.”
“Are you talking about you and Derick?” John regretted his boldness. A little.
Cindy turned toward him and nodded. “Yes, that, too. But mainly, I haven’t been there for her during the most terrible time in her life. She and I go back a lot longer than she and Derick do. Besides, I was just a rebound person for him. We already broke it off. He really missed Kristen. Still does.”
John’s throat tightened. “Surprised he didn’t come along then.”
“I d
idn’t tell anyone I was coming here. There’ve never been any secrets between Kristen and me. Not even about Derick. I had to come to let Kristen know what’s going on. I need to talk with her one on one. Just the two of us, like old times.”
“Vell, you eat something first, and then go on up and see how she’s doing.” Mamm unwrapped the sandwich and placed it on a plate.
“OK, but my appetite kind of closed up.”
“Jah, I know. Just eat a little then. You’ve had a long day.”
Cindy took a bite of the sandwich. “Thank you. It’s good egg salad.”
“Gut. Have yourself some of our Anna’s fudge too.” Mamm placed the foil wrapped goodies on the table. Anna ran over to unwrap them.
John didn’t know what to make of Cindy. She seemed sincere in her desire to make amends to Kristen, and the two girls had been friends nearly all of their lives. That had to count for something.
“Cindy, we have a cot stored in Mary’s and Anna’s room,” Mamm said. “You are velkum to bring it into Kristen’s room and spend the nacht there. That’ll give you both more time to talk, too.”
“That would work fine. Thank you. I’ll go up now. Everything was delicious. You make great fudge, Anna.”
Anna blushed beneath her wide smile.
“I can get the cot for you.” John’s offer was a gut excuse to see how Kristen was doing.
“OK. Thanks.” John led the way up the stairs. His pulse raced and his stomach churned. He went into the bedroom where his sisters slept, got the folded cot stored against the back wall, and carried it to where Cindy stood by Kristen’s closed door.
“I guess I should knock,” Cindy said.
John nodded.
She did. No response. She knocked again. Harder. “Kristen, it’s me, Cindy. John has a cot for me to sleep on later. Can we put it in the room?”
The door opened a crack.
Cindy paused then pushed it further and found Kristen seated on the bed, her back turned to them, facing the window.
“Kris? John brought the cot for me to sleep on.”
Kristen looked at John with reddened eyes, not at Cindy, as she turned toward them.
“Kristen, maybe you and Cindy would prefer to sit on the front porch instead of in here. There’s a gut breeze there and you’ll still have privacy to talk.” John kept his voice as controlled and calm as he could manage, given the hammering of his heart as he witnessed her brokenness.
Kristen nodded and stood.
Cindy took her by the arm, and they both walked out of the room toward the stairs.
John turned and followed them down.
When they were settled on the front porch, John was about to head to the storage shed to gather more supplies to bring to the store.
Kristen placed her hand on his.
“Can you sit with us for a little while?”
Surely Daed wouldn’t mind him being near Kristen during this difficult time. He couldn’t very well turn his back on her in an attempt not to mean more to her than a friend. “Jah. I have some time before I go to the store.”
Her sad eyes softened a bit and no one said anything for a few moments. A warm breeze brushed past them, and Cindy grabbed the tissues on her lap so they wouldn’t blow away.
“When I was in my room before, I remembered the scripture from Preaching that I asked one of the ladies to translate into English for me after the church service here. All she said was, ‘The truth shall set you free.’ Do you think that in the end all of this bad stuff will do that for me?” Her soft gaze locked into his.
He swallowed hard and studied Kristen’s pensive expression. She’d begun to think on her situation in a prayerful way. He thanked God silently right then and there. “Jah. I do, Kristen. Everything happens for a reason. It’s gut that you are learning the truth about things, even though it’s painful for you.”
“I just don’t understand why my mom never explained things. She was Amish and ended up living as live-in help to a non-Amish man. She had no romantic feelings toward him at all. I know. I lived there all my life. Maybe she still loved my dad, whoever he is. She had to have loved him a lot to go off and marry him and leave her Amish life behind. And then he goes and leaves her? None of it makes any sense to me.”
“Maybe one day it will.” Cindy patted Kristen’s lap in a reassuring gesture.
“I want to know all about my mother’s life here before she left. What she was like being Amish. How she came to meet Jacob Mast and why they broke it off. Maybe she met my father and fell instantly in love with him. I’m going to ask your mom and Aunt Miriam if they’ll have a sit down with me about it all. They’re her sisters. She must have told them things.”
“Don’t count on that. We Amish can live together under the same roof and keep certain things to ourselves. We don’t tend to share all of our feelings as freely as the Englisch do. Maybe your mamm kept that trait even while she no longer lived among her own kind.”
“You might be right about that. She had a reserved way about her, and she rarely spoke about herself. It’s kind of sad that I really never got to know her. The way you and your mom know one another, Cindy.”
“I guess it’s just an Amish thing.” Cindy looked to John for affirmation.
“Jah, some Amish women are very reserved with their emotions. Others not as much, like my mamm.”
“I never saw my mom ever hug or kiss anyone at all. Just me,” Kristen told him.
“You’ll not see any hugging and kissing in public from any Amish, married or otherwise. It’s just not done.”
“Really?” Cindy stared at John as if he had three heads.
“That’s for sure and for certain. Touching in public is verboten…forbidden.” John emphasized forbidden to make his point.
Cindy shook her head in dismay.
Then they grew quiet again.
“Vell, I’d best be off to the shed for those supplies. I want to spend an hour at the store before dinner is ready.” John stood and readied himself to go. Kristen grabbed his hand. The warmth of her unexpected touch startled him to pull away, but her hold was firm. Verboden or not, he was glad for it.
“Denki, John.” She smiled up at him.
He wanted to bend down and kiss her smiling lips, but instead he returned her smile and gently took his hand out of her grasp.“Bitte,” he sputtered out, then quickly walked down the porch steps toward the storage shed, surprised that his legs could move at all.
~*~
Kristen watched John walk in the direction of the shed behind the barn. She looked away to find Cindy’s eyes on her.
“What?”
“You like him. A lot. But he’s your cousin.”
“No, he’s not my cousin. His widowed father married my widowed aunt when he was just a baby. We aren’t blood relatives at all. We’re just part of the same family.”
“Well, that puts a different spin on things. He’s very handsome and seems taken by you. I can tell by how he looks at you.” Cindy smiled one of her mischievous smiles.
“He’s been there for me throughout everything since I’ve been here. In reality, he’s been my only real friend. But it’s not the only reason why I like John Wagler. He’s a kind person with a good heart. He makes me feel cared for. Really cared for.”
“Kristen, I’ve cared for you all of our lives. You’re like a sister to me. The sister I never had.”
“I was abandoned by everyone after I moved here. Everyone. Including you and your family, Cindy. I’m not mad now that I know the reason. Not even about the whole thing with you and Derick. It just proves that he never really cared for me like he claimed he did. But John wouldn’t have turned away from me. In my heart, I know he never will. Whether as a friend or more than that one day.”
“You mean you’re actually considering staying here? Dressing in those clothes and following all the rules?” Cindy looked at her with widened eyes. If her jaw dropped any further it might hit the floor.
“My mother was
Amish. I have Amish roots. And the rules don’t really feel like rules once you start to live by them. At least that’s how I feel about the clothes. It’s just another part of living simple. Being Plain. And in my opinion, it’s easier than having to decide what to wear. No more competition about clothes and hairstyles. It’s really liberating in a sense.”
“Kristen, it’s a fantasy. This is not a practical life. It’s hard work without any electricity and all the other modern conveniences. Your mother didn’t leave for nothing.”
“Well, I intend to find out why she left, sooner or later. At least here I have a real family, Cindy. You have no idea how it is to have no family around, especially for holidays. If it weren’t for you and your family inviting me over, I’d have been alone.”
“Kristen, you’re like family to my parents and to my little brother, too. You know that. I bet they’d have tried to adopt you if you didn’t have any relatives.”
Kristen thought of the lack of contact from them. Of course, she hadn’t known that it was because it no longer seemed an accident had claimed the life of her mom and Ross. Still, family would have rushed to her side. Not avoided her. Regardless of the reason.
“Thanks, Cindy. But after a while, I felt like a pity case. Not that you or your family ever made me feel that way. You’d have to be me to understand. I realize that I became a possible threat to the safety of you and your brother, and maybe that was why I was dropped like a hot potato. Still, I felt so alone. I don’t feel that way here. These people are my blood relatives. It’s as if I’m supposed to be here. I’m part of something.”
Before dinner, Kristen clued Cindy in about the silent prayer said before and after the meal. She had Cindy tie her hair back in a ponytail, and secure the loose shorter strands with bobby pins. The clothes she wore were a far cry from Amish attire, but her jeans and light pink blouse were not flashy or indecent. Kristen had Cindy sit next to her and hoped that the family would soon unravel Cindy’s obviously tense nerves.
After the silent prayer, the food was passed around and Cindy took a hamburger, a frankfurter, a bun for each, and some of the cold relishes and potato salad left over from their picnic.