Once they were completely out of sight, she turned to face Gemynd and he saw that there were tears on her cheeks, but her smile made him think they were not tears of sadness. “Beautiful,” she said as she came back around to him.”
Gemynd nodded. “Yes. All of you,” he said.
“Somehow that amazing creature healed my heart of any remnants of fear I had from the encounter with Lumon. I can’t explain what happened, but she was able to reach inside my very being and fix what needed fixing,” Numa gushed.
“They must really be glinters,” Gemynd mused, no longer regretting their outing from Aerie. Something about the encounter with the carus had made it all worthwhile.
Numa sat down right next to Gemynd, her thigh touching his. She reached for a loaf of bread, tore a piece off and put it in her mouth. “Now you’re a glinter,” she said as she chewed.
Gemynd shrugged. “I suppose I’ve always been one, we just didn’t know it until now.”
Numa swallowed. “I have the same feeling I did yesterday after you revealed the dagger. It’s almost like I’m seeing you for the first time: like I never really knew you.”
Gemynd leaned in towards her, took her face between his hands and looked deep into her eyes. “You do know me. You know me better than anyone. Even Soman. I am who I always was. I’m the same man you’ve known your whole life. I simply have a new skill.”
Numa blinked. “The ability to move objects without touching them seems like more than just a new skill.”
“Is it really more miraculous than something like learning to walk or learning to write? These are amazing feats and, if you really think about them, they can seem like glinting too. But we don’t think of them that way because we are used to seeing them.”
Numa gave him a dubious look. “Well, at the risk of sounding like Soman, what else can you do?” she asked and Gemynd felt sure he saw a twinkle of teasing in her eyes.
“I can do this,” he said and pushed her down so she was lying on the ground. Then he turned around, grabbed her leg, pulled off her shoe and began tickling her foot. Numa squirmed and thrashed, trying to pull her leg free. She tried to yell at him, but she was laughing too hard to do so. When Gemynd thought she’d been thoroughly tortured, he released her leg. Numa responded by throwing the loaf of bread at Gemynd’s head.
“I gather that means your glinting skills are limited to moving objects?” she said, straightening her apron.
“As far as I know,” Gemynd said. “But I’m as new to this as you are. I don’t know if more skills will come up in the future. I just really can’t say. I don’t know a thing about glinting.”
“I suppose that could be a benefit of going to training,” Numa suggested.
Gemynd looked at her. She was beautiful. As he sat this close to her, completely isolated from other people, he felt the familiar ache in his arms to hold her. He wondered for the millionth time what it would feel like to kiss her. And not just the way his mother sometimes kissed him, but a real kiss. One that was deep and long and tinged with hunger.
“I know what you’re thinking,” Numa said, catching Gemynd off guard.
“You do?” he asked, feeling a flush of heat crawl across his face.
“You’re thinking that maybe I would be better off if you went to training. Or even if you chose to leave Aerie and never come back. You think it would somehow be easier for me if I didn’t have to see you every day; if I didn’t have to be reminded of how you didn’t choose me.”
“That’s not what I was thinking,” Gemynd replied. “But it does make sense. If I wasn’t so selfish, I would make the choice to leave. I think it would be easier for you that way. Don’t you?”
Numa narrowed her eyes. “I think that’s a steaming pile of scitte!” she swore. “I already love you. Your leaving will not change that. Nor will it lessen the heartache. I would sooner have a life with you in it--in whatever capacity--than the emptiness of being without you. I do not fully understand your choice to become a Keeper and to be honest, it hurts me. I want to be with you. In body and mind and spirit. And lately it’s the thought of being with you in body that keeps me up at night. But you mean more to me than even all of that. You are also my dearest friend. You are my family. You are my home. And, as you proved today, you are my hero. You are my beloved in all ways. And those things you can always be to me, even if you are a Keeper. But not if you’re gone. If you go, I lose it all.”
For several moments, Gemynd was speechless. “You are all those things to me, too. I do not choose the way of the Keeper because I don’t want you. You would surely blush if you only knew how many nights the thought of your body has kept me awake too. And thoughts of what I would do to your body. It is the most blissful torture. I am selfish in my desire to be a Keeper for it is the only thing that brings me peace. And my resolve against the temptation that is you is only maintained by the fact that if I give in to it, even once, it would hurt us both more.”
“How can that be? If we had each other, even once, we could carry that memory in our hearts forever.”
“Because it would be the most delicious, ecstatic experience of our lives. I just know it would. And it would cause great pain, especially to me, to actually know the perfect Joy of being with you and not be able to have it. There could be no greater suffering than that.”
Numa sighed. “I suppose I can accept that,” she said and gave him a sad smile.
Gemynd opened his arms, pulling Numa against him, and laid down with her snuggled to his side. He silently stroked her hair for what seemed like hours until he heard the deep, soft breaths of sleep overtake her.
Gemynd opened his eyes and blinked, feeling disoriented. He was still lying on his back on the ground with Numa next to him. But he couldn’t see much of anything. Just traces and outlines of things. Everything else was black. Were his eyes failing him? Was he under some sort of mantle grove enchantment? Before he could panic, he felt Numa stir.
“We must have slept for hours,” she said through a yawn. “It’s dark already.”
With her words, Gemynd’s reality came into sharper focus. He couldn’t see because it was dark! Which, as Numa had said, meant that hours had passed by.
“I slept!” Gemynd shouted, sitting upright. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d slept for more than an hour at a time. His mind wouldn’t let him. He would doze off every now and again, but then always had to turn to his studies to quiet his mind enough to hope for more sleep. But here he was on the forest floor with Numa having just slept for several hours unbroken.
Gemynd turned to look at Numa. He could just make out her form in the speckled moonlight. “It’s you,” he said, filled with wonder.
“Of course it’s me,” she said, sounding irritated.
Gemynd reached for her hand. “I mean that you’re the reason I was able to sleep. And now that I think of it, my mind has been calm since we sat down by the spring together.”
Gemynd scooted himself closer to her. So close he could feel her breath on his face and the warmth emanating from her body. “All this time, I’ve been keeping my distance from you, believing that was the best thing. I’ve never allowed us to be alone together.”
“I noticed,” she said quietly.
“We had a few moments alone early this morning while we waited for Soman, but I was preoccupied with figuring out our plan. But then, all this time we’ve been alone in the grove together…” his voice trailed off and he felt a giddiness bubble up from within. He pulled Numa to her feet, wanting to jump and dance and laugh.
“Gemynd, what is happening to you?” Numa asked, clearly not knowing whether to laugh along with Gemynd or be horrified by his sudden change in behavior.
“It’s Joy!” Gemynd explained. “For the first time, I know what it means. What it really means.”
“Oh, Gemynd!” Numa gasped and threw her arms around him.
Suddenly the Joy that coursed through Gemynd’s veins became thick with something equally as
delightful: desire. He grabbed Numa’s face in his hands and tipped it up. The moonlight shimmered in her eyes. “Soman was right,” he whispered as he gazed at her beautiful face. “I’ve been a damn fool.”
Numa smiled and blinked, sending a tear down her cheek.
“But no more. And never again. From this moment on, Numa, I choose you,” Gemynd said and then crushed his lips against hers. He wasted no time on being gentle. He was ravenous for her.
Gemynd ran his hands down Numa’s back, pressing her firmly against him. He was overwhelmed by a need to be consumed by her; to be inside her in every way possible.
Numa moved her hands to Gemynd’s waist and unfastened his belt, letting it fall to the ground. She reached down to the bottom of his tunic and lifted it up and over his head. Then she let her fingertips lightly trace the muscles of his chest and stomach making his head spin with desire.
Gemynd grabbed her hard around the waist and once again pulled her flush against him. Then he laid her down on the ground, keeping one of his hands on the small of her back, pushing her hips up to meet his. He slid his other hand up the length of her leg pushing her skirts up with it. He let his hand continue moving up, roaming the curve of her tiny waist, and up again until it found a home on her warm breast.
“Take off your breeches,” Numa whispered against his lips.
“You do it,” Gemynd replied, not wanting to move either of his hands from their delectable resting places.
Numa eagerly complied and her fingers immediately found the drawstring that went around his waist. Gemynd closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. He felt like he was standing on the edge of high cliff, poised to jump, only what he was about to jump into was the sweetest gift the Deis had ever bestowed on man.
“Numa! Gemynd!” Soman’s voice suddenly called in a loud whisper from the direction of the road.
Numa and Gemynd both froze.
“Are you in here?” Soman called again.
Gemynd rested his forehead against Numa’s and tried to steady his breathing, knowing he would now have to wait to jump off that cliff.
“We’re here,” he called out, rolling off of Numa and feeling around for his tunic. Before he could find it, Soman approached, holding a torch in front of him, illuminating the area. Soman had a look of worry in his eyes, but as he surveyed the scene a slow grin spread across his face.
“When you didn’t respond to my numerous signals, I thought surely you’d gone and gotten yourselves murdered. But now I see I needn’t have been concerned,” he said with a smirk.
Gemynd swallowed back his frustration and tried to smile. “We fell asleep and lost track of time,” he explained. “We never meant to worry you. How did you explain to the others that you were leaving your post?”
Soman shook his head. “I didn’t. Which is why we must return right away. I have not been gone long, but I could never forgive myself if something happened to Aerie because I’d abandoned my duties. It is late. Aerie sleeps so it is the perfect time for us to return.”
Numa stood, brushing dirt and leaves from her apron. “I’m sorry that you were worried and that we put you in the position of leaving your post,” she said.
Soman smiled at her. “Seeing this much Joy on your face made it worth it,” he said and winked. “It’s about time.”
Gemynd spent the first few hours of the night trying to sleep on a bedsack in the Wishing Hut. But without Numa nearby, his mind was up to its old tricks. When the sound of the Keepers’ snoring became too much to bear, he tiptoed up the stairs to the library. He pulled volume after volume from the shelf, finding that nothing kept his interest for more than a few moments. Finally, he forced himself to decide on one and picked a dusty volume discussing the merits of the 6th Truth: Suffering is not necessary and is a result of choice.
He sat down on a bench and set the oil lamp on the table in front of him. Carefully, he opened the cover, hearing the leather bindings groan at his request. As his eyes found the inked words in the dim light, he read:
‘It is the belief of this author that by including the phrase “one’s own” within the sixth Truth, the Deis’ meaning becomes clear. As in: Suffering is not necessary and is a result of “one’s own” choice. For to blame another for his suffering, one directly disrupts the Oneness of Life, and so, to blame brings suffering. But to realize that if one experiences suffering, it is a result of his own choice, then he is free to do the work necessary to discover his erroneous choice and make a new one, therefore sustaining the Oneness of Life. As the tenth Truth states, this is what will bring Joy.’
Gemynd grunted a soft laugh. All along he had been making an erroneous choice when it came to his relationship with Numa, and it had caused him great suffering. If only he’d had more faith in the Deis’ ability to bring Joy, he would have made a different choice years ago. He would have followed the longing of his heart.
“Thank you,” he whispered in the darkness. “For showing me the right choice before I suffered another moment.”
Gemynd set his finger on the page to mark his place and closed his eyes, trying to conjure the peace he had felt with Numa in the mantle grove. He pictured her beautiful face, framed by her red hair. He inhaled, remembering the way she smelled. In his mind, he focused on her lips and instantly recalled their softness against his own. He remembered, clearly, the way her hands felt as they caressed his skin. His memory was so clear, it was as if he were there, living it all again. And, just as he’d hoped, the blissful feeling of peace seeped into his mind. Not as strong as it had been in Numa’s living presence, but it was there, dulling the sharp edges and allowing him to breathe.
How had I never noticed this before? he wondered. Was I always just too busy? Or does it have something to do with glinting? Perhaps now that my glinting abilities have come to the fore, I am more receptive to what is around me.
“Carry on and pay me no mind,” Keeper Stout said as he walked by. Gemynd was startled nearly out of his seat and he quickly rejected the idea that he was now more receptive to his surroundings. “Nature calls.”
Gemynd watched the Keeper move through the doorway and saw that the sky outside was filled with the grey light of dawn. He sighed, feeling grateful for a new day, for another chance to be with Numa. He resolved to stop berating himself for the time they’d lost together, and simply feel the Joy of each new moment with her.
Keeper Stout once again filled the doorway as he moved back inside.
“May I speak with you?” Gemynd asked. While Aerie now considered the two men peers, Gemynd still thought of his favorite Keeper as his teacher and mentor.
“Of course, Gemynd,” Keeper Stout said, lowering his rather massive form onto the bench. “Are you well?”
Gemynd nodded. “Better than ever. Yesterday I experienced Joy for what I believe to be the first time.”
In the flickering light of the oil lamp, Gemynd saw Keeper Stout smile. “Praise the Deis,” he said. “And if I might be so bold, can I presume this Joy was not the result of study?”
Gemynd looked away, suddenly feeling awkward.
Keeper Stout chuckled. “Do not be ashamed,” he said. “My dear boy, didn’t you ever consider that you were forcing yourself into the life of a Keeper?”
Gemynd nodded. “Yes, but I thought it was my only choice to escape suffering. It was a choice to avoid suffering when I should have been making a choice to find Joy. I see the error in that now. But, I do take pleasure in study. I believe in The Book and I have a hunger to know all I can about the Truths. That part was never forced.”
Keeper Stout patted Gemynd’s hand. “But you know that you can study without taking the vows of a Keeper,” he said and his expression became serious. “It is not a life for everyone. You were drawn to this life because of the dedication to study and, perhaps something more. You may have found the Vow of Abstaining to be a convenient place to hide. But what you never quite saw was that the life of a Keeper is a life of service. The study comes after we have t
aught the children, wed the lovers, counseled the grieving and burned the dead.”
Gemynd felt ashamed again, wondering how he’d been so unaware. He had spent years in study with the Keepers and had never given a single moment in service. “I’ve been utterly selfish,” he said. “I’m truly sorry.”
Keeper Stout chuckled again. “You’ve done nothing wrong. I don’t tell you this to make you feel badly. I say these things to you so that you can see your world clearly. My guess is that, if something outside of study caused you to experience Joy, you are likely considering foregoing your life as a Keeper. And I want you to be as clear as possible when making a decision such as that.”
Gemynd took a deep breath. He could still feel Numa all around him and he smiled. “To be completely honest to you, and to myself, my decision was made the moment I experienced that Joy. I know the choice that sustains the Oneness. Really, I’ve always known.”
Keeper Stout beamed and pulled Gemynd into a hearty embrace. “Well done, my son. Well done.”
Without a moment’s hesitation, Gemynd knew what he must do now. Following an age old Aerie tradition, Gemynd knelt on the floor before Keeper Stout and clasped one of his hands in his own. “Keeper Stout,” he began, “as a Keeper of our beloved village and father to us all, I humbly beseech you to allow me the honor of taking Numa, the maiden fair, as my wife. I will love her and care for her all the days of my life. We will raise our children in the ways of Aerie and always contribute to the Joy.”
“I have waited years to hear those words,” Keeper Stout said. “Yes, I grant you my permission to marry Numa. May both of you and all of your heirs be blessed with endless Joy.”
Gemynd got to his feet and, feeling overwhelmed with emotion, wrapped his arms around Keeper Stout.
“You’re full of surprises,” Soman’s voice rang out through the library.
Gemynd turned from Keeper Stout and strode across the room to where his friend stood. “Brother,” he said simply and smothered Soman in a tight embrace. “I’m so happy you’re here at this moment.”
Revelation: The Todor Trilogy, Book One Page 10