by M. G. Morgan
“If I do that I might lose her forever… She thinks people won’t believe her the same way they never believed me… And Craigsdale has threatened her. He says he’ll kill her if she opens her mouth.”
“That bastard!” Matt stood and began to pace back and forth. “Who the hell does he think he is? What makes him think that he can do this kind of stuff and get away with it?”
“But he has gotten away with it… Every single time he has gotten away with it…”
A small sound from my bedroom made us both pause and stare at each other. I stood slowly and made my way out into the hall and down to the door. I had assumed that when the lights were off that Maggie was gone out but perhaps I had been wrong. Could she have been here the entire time and not come to help me? It didn’t sound like something she’d do…
I placed my hand over the door handle when Matt’s hand closed over mine. “We don’t know who or what it is?” He whispered to me frantically as I started to push the door open.
“It’s probably nothing.” But it didn’t feel like nothing. My heart hammered in my chest as I pushed the door a little more and let it swing open. My hand felt along the inside of the wall until I found the light switch and flicked it on. The burst of light filled the room illuminating my bed and dresser. My wardrobe stood to one side and something down the side of it caught my eye.
I stepped further into the room, Matt shadowing my steps, his hand laid protectively across my shoulder. I recognised her sneakers first, I’d remembered them from earlier in the day. Her jeans were faded and as I made my way further into the room she shrank back into the shadows of the corner.
“Emma?”
She jumped and curled her body closer in on itself. Part of me wondered how she could even breathe in that position with her knees jammed up against her chest.
“Emma, I know it’s you. It’s ok, you’re safe, you can come out now…”
She peered out at me, her dark hair had fallen across her face obscuring her eyes from me. But I could tell she was terrified. Her breathing was coming in small gasps and I could see the tremors that ran through her body.
“He was here…” Her voice was small, little more than a whisper. It was filled with barely controlled emotion as she stared up at me.
I crouched down in front of her and held my hand out to her. For a second she seemed to shrink back away from me even further.
“But he’s gone now…”
“I’m sorry, I led him here to you… If I hadn’t run then he wouldn’t have tried to…” She trailed off as her voice broke.
“Ssh, Emma, it’s not your fault. You can’t blame yourself for this. If he wanted to, he would have come and found me whenever he wanted to. You didn’t cause this…”
“I thought he had, you know…” She pushed her hair back from her face and her eyes shimmered with unshed tears.
“But he didn’t. Matt, here saved me…” I gestured to Matt who had stayed back at the door. Almost as though he understood that he shouldn’t over crowd the situation.
“I wanted to come and help you, but I couldn’t… I just couldn’t move…”
I shook my head and leaned in towards her slowly taking her hand in mine. “No, you were right to stay where you were. It’s better that he didn’t know you were here…”
Emma nodded slowly as she scooted forward and then launched herself into my arms, knocking us both backwards onto the floor. She hugged me fiercely as though afraid that at any moment I would simply disappear in a puff of smoke.
When she finally released me I sat up and climbed slowly to my feet. She followed me and stood awkwardly, both hands hugging her chest. “I didn’t have anywhere else to go so I snuck back here when everyone else was gone…”
“How did you get in?” My mind tracked back to the moments before Craigsdale had turned up and I knew that the front door had been locked.
“The window in your living room opens out onto the fire escape…” She stared at the floor and scrubbed the toe of her trainers in against the carpet.
A small smile crept across my face. I had done my own fair share of sneaking into places when I had first run away from home. When you had nowhere left to turn you would do anything to find shelter and food… The thought hit me. When had she last eaten? She had to be starving.
“Emma, are you hungry? You must be starved? When did you last eat?”
She shrugged and continued to stare down at the floor. “I don’t really remember…”
“But you’re hungry?”
She nodded and it was the only encouragement I needed. I headed for the kitchen sliding past Matt who was standing in the door. My hand brushed against his chest and I found myself pressed tight to him for a second. The hall was narrow and there was nowhere that I could pass him without being crushed to his hard body.
The moment I touched against him my heart beat hammered. I remembered the feel of his body against mine. The way his arms fit around me, closing me in a cage of nothing but him. It felt like an extreme head rush and I stumbled slightly, pushing me even tighter against him.
Glancing up at him I caught sight of something dark reflected in his eyes. Something dark and possessive. It seemed I wanted him, and no matter what had happened between us earlier in the evening, he still wanted me…
Confused I stepped away from him, my feet carrying me back down the hall and into the kitchen. My breathing was odd and my heart continued to hammer against my ribcage. I was sure that at any second it would hammer so hard my ribs would snap allowing my heart to jump clean out of my chest.
Sucking in a deep breath I pulled the fridge open and stared at the contents inside. It was practically empty. The only items remaining: one egg and a piece of cheese that had seen better days. I shuddered and tried not to gag as the smell of rotten milk hit me square in the nose. Slamming the fridge I stared around, searching for any kind of inspiration.
Matt’s hand snaked around my waist spinning me until I was facing him. He kept his grip on me loose, as though afraid to hold me any tighter… As though I might break apart in his grip.
“I left my security detail parked down on the street… We could always take a trip in the car do drive-thru or something like that? If you like?”
It was perfect. The only problem I had was I didn’t know if Emma would trust being around someone like Matt… Not only was he a stranger but after her experience with Craigsdale and from my own experience, I knew how difficult it was to trust men…
“I can ask her.”
I pulled out of his hold, my skin ached where he had touched me. It was the last thing I wanted to do. In the circle of Matt’s arms was where I felt safest… I hadn’t forgotten our fight from earlier. I felt ashamed for behaving the way I did. He had bared his soul to me and I had reacted by throwing myself at him… But after my reunion with Mr Craigsdale, the argument and all of my fears about Matt using me seemed suddenly unimportant. He had saved me. That had to count for something? Didn’t it?
Emma had made it as far as the hall. Her eyes were huge and frightened as her gaze darted back and forth. I wanted to hold her and tell her that everything would be alright. That we could make everything better… But I knew better than that. Not everything could be fixed with a hug and some simple words. She had a long road ahead of her and in the end it would all depend on how strong she was.
“I don’t have anything worth eating in the house. But my friend Matt has offered to take us for drive-thru?”
She stared at me for a few seconds, as though weighing up her options. “Matt is the one who saved you from, him?”
I nodded, my face solemn. “He did.”
She seemed to think about it before nodding slowly. “Alright…”
I could see how much it cost her just to give me that answer. As far as I was concerned if I ever set eyes on Mr Craigsdale again, I would kill him. He couldn’t be allowed to do things like this… He couldn’t be allowed to take away someone’s innocence.
&
nbsp; CHAPTER SIX
The car was large with two back seats that faced each other. I sat on one side with Emma beside me. Matt sat across from us, his dark leather jacket blending seamlessly with the leather upholstery of the car. His dark eyes watched me closely, taking in every expression that crossed my face.
I could feel his gaze on me as I ran my hand across my throat. It felt sore and heat radiated from the site as my hand brushed against the damaged skin. I’d have to wear a scarf, tomorrow I’d be black and blue. But a scarf wouldn’t hide the bruising on my face. If I was lucky concealer might take the brunt of it away, but it wasn’t a guarantee.
The car pulled into the brightly lit drive-thru and Matt opened the window. It buzzed down slowly, revealing inch by inch the colourful menu. Turning to Emma I watched her carefully. She was already leaning forward her eyes taking in everything that was written on the board. When the speakers crackled to life and a woman asked us for our order Emma quickly answered.
I asked for a cheese burger and fries, the woman persuaded me to upgrade to a meal claiming it was a better deal. I didn’t contradict her, after all the large icy drink would soothe my aching throat. Matt spoke decisively. I watched him from the corner of my eye as his easy charm came to the fore. But it wasn’t until the car pulled around to the payment window that he really came into his own. In matter of seconds he had the woman eating out of the palm of his hand. She giggled and flirted with him, batting her long mascara laden lashes at him. She twirled her fingers in her curly brown hair and I tried to suppress a smile.
I’d always assumed it was an act that Matt used to get whatever he wanted. But watching him more closely I started to realise that it wasn’t an act at all. It was just him. It was who he was. He didn’t charm her because he felt the need to, he did it because it was what he would do with any woman. He made her feel special and that was something to be admired.
He dropped a fifty dollar bill into her hand and smiled at her before the car drove away. The look on her face was one of pure shock. It was a huge tip and I remembered back to a waitressing job I’d had. Tips were vitally important and one this huge would really boost whatever her weekly wage was.
“That was nice of you…” I said as I ripped open my straw and stuck it in the top of my drink. The ice cubes sloshed around inside the plastic cup and the second I lifted it to my lips and took a deep gulp the cold numbed the inside of my mouth. I closed my eyes as the feeling slid down my throat relieving the pain.
Matt shrugged as he opened his burger and bit into it. His eyes widened momentarily as he caught sight of Emma chomping through the final bites of her first burger. She still had another one perched in the paper bag on her lap. She reached into the bag and grabbed a fistful of fries and quickly stuffed them into her mouth. I contemplated telling her to slow down but I quickly thought better of it. I knew what it was like to be hungry. To not know where your next meal was coming from. So if she wanted to ram her food down then I wasn’t going to tell her not to. Plus I didn’t want to make her think that we were watching her. She had slowly begun to relax and I didn’t want to close her off again.
“I know what its like to live on tips alone, when your wage packet isn’t worth getting out of bed for but you have to, you have no choice.” He picked up his plastic cup and took a swig of the bubbling soda.
I nodded, “Yeah, I get that… I had some pretty tough jobs after…” I shut up glancing over at Emma who was watching us converse with interest.
She sighed and put her burger down. “You don’t need to go quiet… I’m not going to go crazy or anything. Hearing about how you coped afterwards is good… It means there is a life after.”
I smiled at her. “There is life after. I spent all my time being so bitter that I missed out on a lot of cool stuff. I was so desperate trying to think up ways to make him pay that I overlooked the truth. I’m still here, he didn’t break me. I could have the life I wanted, if I really wanted to…”
She nodded and picked her burger up again chewing thoughtfully as she pondered my words. I wasn’t sure if what I was telling her was the right thing or not. But it was the only thing I could tell her. She had to have hope that everything would work out. Without hope there wasn’t much left in this world to cling to.
“How did you end up a rockstar?” She directed her attention back towards Matt. He seemed shocked for a second, spluttering and coughing he tried to compose himself before finally answering.
“I got picked up… One of those weird stories where someone is discovered while working in a bar. I was doing my usual gigs, crap money but I liked that I was getting my music out there… When some guy walks up to me hands me a business card and asks me to call the next day.”
Emma sat forward in her seat, rubbing her greasy hands on her jeans. “And did you?”
Matt laughed, “Well I’m here now aren’t I? Nah, if I’m honest I thought it was one of those weird hoaxes. But the guy came back, wanted to know why I hadn’t called and said he’d brought along one of his bosses. When the gig was over his boss offered me a contract on the spot…” Matt’s voice trailed off as though remembering something he’d rather forget. I was dying to ask him what was wrong but with Emma in the car I didn’t want to pry into his life too much.
The car pulled up outside the hotel I had booked him into and Matt moved to climb out.
“Why are we here?” I asked, utterly confused.
“There is no way you’re staying at your apartment tonight, either of you. And this place has the best security, you said so yourself.” He smiled at me, it was a quick smile but it made my heart do somersaults.
How could I argue with him? If it was just me I’d quite happily return to my apartment, but with Emma there? I couldn’t guarantee her safety there. At least here in the hotel Craigsdale had no way of getting to her.
I didn’t say anything as I climbed out of the car. Emma followed me and we made our way into through the large double glass doors. She remained silent until we reached the penthouse suite that Matt was staying in.
“If it’s alright with you, can I just go to bed?” Her voice was small and filled with awe as she stared around her at her surroundings.
Matt answered first, an easy smile on his lips. “Sure, there is a room in there… I think you’ll find everything you need. This place seems to cater to everything, and I do mean everything.”
Emma gave him a small smile before disappearing off into the room he had indicated. Turning back to Matt I stared at him for what was longer than necessary. Quirking one eyebrow at me he tilted his head to the side. The look of amusement slowly faded from his face as he saw whatever was reflected in my eyes.
“You didn’t have to do this…”
“I know. I wanted to.”
I nodded and turned away from him. I wasn’t going to get drawn back into whatever chemistry sparked between us. Matt had made himself clear earlier and I wasn’t going to press him on it. I was tired of the games… And if I was honest it hurt too much to constantly put myself at his mercy.
“Kat?” His voice was low, husky. His hand on my shoulder made me freeze up and hold my breath. He turned me to face him and it was a struggle to stop myself from reaching out and touching him.
“You have a hold over me that I can’t shake…”
“I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s not something you need to be sorry for. I’m the one who should be sorry. I’ve never felt like this before and if I’m honest I’m not sure what I’m mean to do about it.”
“I can leave if you want me to.” The thought of walking away from him now was excruciating but I would do it for him. If it meant that life could go back to being uncomplicated by the feelings I had for him then I would do it. But deep down I knew nothing would change what I felt for him… I would carry it with me no matter what happened between us.
“I don’t want you to leave. I want you, but I don’t want to hurt you and I can’t promise you that I won’t hurt you
again.”
“Then don’t… Don’t hurt me, just be with me, it’s all I want.”
Matt sighed and ran his hands back through his hair. When he lifted his gaze back to me and stared into my eyes something switched inside him. I could see it like the cogs whirring inside a machine. I wanted him to chose me but not at the expense of himself. And it would be at the expense of himself. He didn’t want to become his father and he had so many complications eating at him.
I closed my eyes and one tear slipped down past my lashes. I couldn’t ask that of him. I wouldn’t be selfish. If I loved him then I wouldn’t ask him to destroy a piece of himself, a piece that I loved…
He leaned in to kiss me and I pressed my fingers to his lips, holding him just mere inches form my face. It would be so easy to give in. To just let him kiss me and be lost in the taste of him. We could give ourselves to each other for one night only, but come the morning we would have nothing but pain and regrets. And tomorrow night we would both find ourselves back in the same predicament. A never ending circle of pain and pleasure. It fix anything, just make everything worse, harder.
“I can’t.” The words left my lips on a breath. I kept my eyes closed. I was a coward, I couldn’t look him in the eye and tell him no. One look at him would crumble my resolve. I pushed out of his hold and turned away. Sucking in a deep breath I made my way through to the hall and down to the other guest bedroom in the suite.
My heart echoed in my ears, drowning out every other sound. Matt caught up to me inside the bedroom door before I had the opportunity to close the door. He pinned me back against the door and flipped the lock. The intensity in his gaze burning a hole in me.
“You can’t, but I can. Love is painful, it’s hard work and I didn’t think I wanted that risk… But watching you walk away. I can’t let you go, Kat. I’ve made enough mistakes in my life to know letting you go would be the biggest yet. If it hurts, it hurts us both…”