“There is no news, unfortunately. I haven’t spoken to him for a little while, but I hope he is doing well, and I hope he knows how much I miss having him in my life.”
“Well, that was all very cryptic and vague, but I wish you both the best of luck. Thanks again for coming on my show, and you heard it for yourself, boys and girls – this girl has pipes of steel. Was I right? Was I right?” he laughed. “Alright, now coming up next, we’ve got the lowdown on Rex Byron. He has apparently left the city of Denver to return home to England. Phone in to tell us any funny stories you have of him during his stay in Denver – any wild nights out or more likely, any wild nights in! Yeah, you know what I’m talking about. We will be back right after this break.”
I was in complete shock. Rex went home to England? A sinking feeling started in my heart and pitted in my stomach. Reggie removed his headphones and pushed his chair back. I took off my headphones and stuttered, “What… what was that you just said?”
Reggie looked at me and furrowed his eyebrows. “What? About being back after the break?”
“No, no…” I tried to form a real sentence, but I was sure I sounded like a bumbling fool. “What you said about Rex…”
“Rex Byron? Yeah, I heard he has gone back to London. What – did you have a crush on him?” he laughed.
“Oh gosh, no…” I replied quickly and blushed furiously.
“Good. Don’t go all ‘fangirl’ on me, Rose,” he joked. “Rose…”
I was already walking out of the studio in a trance. I forgot to thank the other studio employees. I forgot to say goodbye to Reggie. I just walked out onto Sixteenth Street. I needed some air. When I finally got outside, I leaned up against the side of the building and breathed. I looked up and down the streets, and the whole city felt emptier to me. He was gone. Without saying goodbye.
TWENTY-SEVEN
The days leading up to my gig were busy, but I still felt a pit in my stomach knowing that everything had finished with Rex on a bad note. There was no longer the possibility that I might bump into him downtown or see him waiting outside my condominium building either. It was over.
One thing helped me keep my mind off of the Rex situation: my mom arrived in Denver with a whirlwind of cheer and excitement. She had visited Denver a couple of times before, but I still loved to show her around the city. She was overjoyed to be in Denver, except for the ‘freezing arctic’ weather, as she so dramatically put it. She wrapped herself up in a thick down winter jacket, scarf, and mittens everywhere she went. She even wore her jacket around my condo one night and claimed that she would be wearing shorts at home in San Antonio.
Besides the chilly weather, she loved every minute of being in Denver.
“Ma, I’m telling you,” I said to her as we made tea in my kitchen. “You should move to Denver. You can live with me!”
My mom was about to pour the hot tea into the mug, when I suddenly yelled, “No!” She was startled and dropped the tea pot on the counter immediately.
“What? What is it?” she exclaimed, anxiously.
“Sorry,” I laughed, and calmed myself down. “That was a bit dramatic. Let’s put the cream in before the tea.”
She gave me a bewildered look and shook her head. “You’ve gone bonkers these days, Rose.”
I chuckled. “It really does make it creamier, Ma. You’ll see,” I replied. She poured the cream in first and then the tea. “Perfect. Now, what were you saying? About how you are going to move to Denver to be with me?”
We walked through the living room with our tea cups and sat down on my couch.
“Baby, I can’t leave our home. It’s the only place I have ever known,” she explained. “Why don’t you move back home, after you become rich and famous, huh?”
“We’ll see. I like that sounds of that, especially the part about me becoming rich and famous!” I laughed. “You know I only want to make you proud, Ma.”
“You already do, my sweet baby!”
“It just seems like I have been letting everybody down lately,” I sighed and curled my feet up under me.
“Do you want to tell Mama Bear about what’s been bothering you?” she asked as she tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear. “I have noticed that you look a little down.”
“Well,” I looked at my mom and could see that she was desperate to make me feel better. “There was this one guy I was dating last month.”
My mom nodded. “Go on…”
“I didn’t like him at first. I tried not to like him. But then I fell for him, and I thought we had something special. I messed it up in the end, and now he is gone.”
She looked at my sympathetically. “You have got to let people in, Rose. I know that you get uneasy when everything is going really well, and maybe you sabotage the relationship to stop yourself from falling and getting hurt in the future.”
Those words struck me hard, mostly because they were true. “Maybe I do need to let people in, but you haven’t let anybody in since…”
“Since your father?” she cut me off. “That’s true. Maybe I need to take some of my own advice. You know, I have been thinking about setting up an online dating profile.”
“Oh my goodness, Ma! Yes, you should totally do that,” I encouraged her. I was happy to change the subject. “I will help you set your profile up.”
“Thanks, baby,” she paused and continued. “And I do want you to know that your father leaving had absolutely nothing to do with you. You are completely worthy of love.” She paused again. “If you are anything like me, you overanalyze everything. Just go with the flow, my baby, and the right person will come, and the right person will stay.”
I just nodded. If I had tried to talk, I probably would have started to cry, and my mom knew this. She quickly changed the subject, “So, do you know what you are going to wear to your gig? What about that golden gown I saw in your room? That would be beautiful.”
“Oh, that? I don’t know if I should wear a golden gown to my gig. It’s a bit fancy, isn’t it?”
“Of course you should, darling. You deserve to wear a golden gown! You are the star of the show.”
She was right. I did deserve to wear my sparkling golden gown. I was the star of the show. “You’re right. I am worthy of a golden gown!” I exclaimed. I was going to be the most fancy, over-dressed person there, and it was going to be spectacular!
TWENTY-EIGHT
“So let’s get this thing started.” I said to my mom.
“What thing?” she asked.
“Your online profile,” I replied, and I grabbed my laptop from the living room table. “Okay, what do you want your username to be?”
“Oh, I don’t know, dear,” she started to back down. “I don’t know if an old woman like me should be on the internet.”
“Mom, everybody does it!” I found the perfect online dating site and started to sign her up. “Okay, you will like this one, it isn’t all about hooking up, and it is for mature people.”
“Okay,” she said warily. “I still don’t know what username to use.”
“How about…” I paused and thought for a moment. “TexasLady? SouthernBelle? SweetCityWoman?”
“Those are good. How about TexasHoldem?” she asked curiously.
“Oh, uh sure…” I obediently typed it in. Was she being dirty? Was that a sexual reference that I didn’t get? “Why that name, Ma?” I asked cautiously.
“Well, it’s like poker, dear. And maybe in my profile picture I can put on my poker face. You know, like Lady Gaga,” she said bluntly.
My goodness. My mom was cooler than me! “How do you know these things, Ma?”
She just giggled and asked, “Okay, what’s next?” Her giggling really didn’t comfort me in the slightest. I was going to have to google Texas Hold’em references later that night.
“Okay, well, how about I upload that photo of you from the barbeque last summer, when you didn’t realize I was taking a photo. You have a pretty serious poker face in that
one. And you look hot.”
“Okay, I guess men like women who play hard to get, huh?” she replied.
I uploaded her photo and said, “Next, we need a quick description about you. Tell me what to type.”
“Alright, let’s see now. Start by saying, ‘I am a 43 year old woman from San Antonio. I love animals, and I like to walk by the canals. I exercise a lot, mostly because I have a strong passion for all things deep fried.”
I laughed out loud. “This is really good, Mom! Okay, next. What do people normally notice about you?”
She thought for a moment and said, “Well, they usually notice my long eyelashes… maybe my quirky jokes,” she said, while looking up to the ceiling to try to remember. “Or maybe, it was my quirky eyelashes and long jokes!” she burst out laughing. That was typical mom-joke material right there.
I laughed too and said, “Okay, we’ve got to include that.” I typed it in. “Next up, it says ‘Only contact me if….’ ”
“Oooh, oooh, I know. Say, ‘Only contact me if you believe in the lyrics of Babyface’s song ‘Soon As I Get Home.’ ”
“Isn’t that the song about how a man will buy your clothes and cook your meals, as soon as he gets home from work?” I asked.
“Well, yes, I’ve got to weed out the lazy ones, honey!” she replied. “But how do I let them know that I’m kind of joking?”
“You can put ‘Just kidding’ or ‘J/K’ or a little winky smiley face…” I listed.
“Let’s go with the winky smiley face,” she clapped her hands together, as I clicked the ‘Submit’ button. “That’s it! We are done!”
“Now we just have to wait for the men to roll in,” I smiled at her, and we gave each other high fives.
TWENTY-NINE
I was back behind the curtains of Meadowlark Lounge. It felt different from the last time I was backstage, or rather, I felt different. After all of the ups and downs of the past month, I had finally made it to my big night. It was just me and my music once again.
I touched my tiara to make sure it stayed in place. Before I left my condo for the gig, my mom surprised me with a dandelion tiara that she had made in the park. Despite the ‘glacial weather’, there were still some flowers growing. I was so excited to wear it. The dandelion tiara made me feel like a princess.
I peeked through the curtain to look at the crowd. There were some interesting characters in the crowd tonight – some older looking folk, some journalists, some really hairy folk, some in sunglasses. Did people really wear their sunglasses at night? In a lounge? Oh well, I was happy to attract a new range of fans. I could see my mom, waiting near the back. She didn’t like to be up front near the speakers and the crowds, so she had staked her claim in a quieter area near the back railing that encircled the lounge’s perimeter.
I continued to scan the crowd, not sure what I was looking for. Well, I was sure I knew what I was looking for. Or who I was looking for, to be more precise. Even though it was ridiculous since I knew Rex was back in England, I felt a sudden sadness to accept the reality that he wouldn’t get to see me perform tonight.
I didn’t see Derek in the crowd either. This was no surprise to me, but I was so used to seeing him in the front row with a big goofy smile, ready to cheer me on. My heart dropped again.
Come on, Rose. I had to focus on the positive things, or else I would go out on stage sobbing like a baby. I remembered the field behind my house in Texas that used to bring me such joy. I was still my mom’s sweet singing princess with a dandelion tiara on top of my head. I was grateful that she was watching me and supporting me, since I loved to make her proud. Reggie was also ready to support me, and I had a room full of fans eagerly awaiting my performance. You can do this, Rose.
Reggie walked past me towards the curtain opening and mouthed, “You ready?”
I gave him the thumbs up. Yes. I was ready.
Reggie walked out onto the stage and the crowd quietened down. He walked over to the mic and yelled in his booming voice, “What’s good, Denver?”
The crowd cheered, and he carried on, “Alright folks, so we have a special treat for you tonight. You get to hear Rose West’s brand new album!”
There was more screaming and whistling from the crowd. It made me incredibly excited to play, and my heart began to beat faster.
“Are you ready to have a good time?” he boomed. The crowd went wild, and it seemed to be a loud enough response because Reggie continued with the introduction. “Put your hands together for the one… the only… Rose West!”
I walked slowly on stage while the crowd was still clapping and yelling. I grabbed my guitar from its stand and moved towards the microphone. The lights were awfully bright, but I could still make out my mom standing near the back.
“Hello,” I said into the microphone, and a couple of wise guys near the front yelled ‘hello’ back at me. “Thank you for coming to my show. I have a whole new album to play for you tonight. I would like to start by playing you my newest song.” The crowd started to clap and cheer. “It is about love,” I added, and people in the crowd made a unison ‘aww’ sound that brought a smile to my face.
“This story of love starts as a tale of war,
He burst in through the gates and into my life,
The walls were up, but he wanted it more,
And I looked at him with his moon-kissed skin,
And he sang,
I’m going to hug you, kiss you, follow you,
Until you love me”
As I was nearing the second verse, I opened my eyes to look at the crowd. They were smiling and enjoying the song. My eyes connected with an unusual looking man who was standing close to the stage on the left side. He had a long, black beard and disheveled hair that was down to his shoulders. He wore sunglasses and a trucker’s hat. He frightened me, and I thought that he might be dangerous, though the people around him seemed to look unalarmed and normal. I tried to concentrate on singing my song, but I kept looking back to see what this guy was going to do next. He was looking back at me too with a straight face, but soon he started to smile. Wait a minute… His smile looked awfully familiar. I knew that cheeky grin!
Rex had come to see my gig after all. Sure enough, I looked to the back of the lounge and saw his two bodyguards, Johnny and Clive. I had never been happier to see those two men, bald heads and all. I continued to sing my song, but my mind was racing with questions. Didn’t Rex return to London? Wasn’t he mad at me? But I looked back at his smile and knew that those questions didn’t matter. He was here.
I finished the rest of my song with a new powerful energy and a new appreciation for the words.
“He took my defenses down and I couldn’t resist,
The walls crumbled and I slowly let him in,
He took the time and he took my kiss,
And he looked at me with his cheeky grin,
And we sang,
I’m going to hug you, kiss you, follow you,
Until you love me”
After I finished my song, the last guitar chord hung in the air, while the crowd cheered and clapped. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Rex in his hairy disguise mounting the stage. I barely had a moment to think before he grabbed the microphone and started talking in the same brass southern drawl he used when we were Billy-Bob and Roseanne.
“Hello folks,” Rex began. The audience wasn’t sure if this guy was drunk, dangerous, or just plain dumb. I saw rustling from the curtain backstage, and Reggie poked his head out to measure this guy up. “I just wanted to say to you all… to the world… that I am… I am madly in love with this girl!” He turned to look at me. “I love you, Rose West!”
That was all he could say before Reggie grabbed him from behind to take him backstage. Reggie handed me back the microphone, and said, “Sorry about that.” All I could do was smile like a madwoman, and I was sure Reggie and the crowd were confused as to why a drunken stage prowler would make me so happy. I was more than happy. Rex was back, and he
was in love with me!
I finished my next song with a smile that extended from ear to ear. I looked out to the back of the lounge at one point, and I saw my mom talking to Clive. I was shocked. She was laughing and touching his arm. Oh my goodness. My mom was flirting!
I played a few more songs and then announced that I would be playing my last song of the night. Just as I began to strum the opening guitar chords, I saw a familiar figure walk in through the doors towards the stage. There he was, with his rustled blonde hair and black leather jacket. Derek came to my show. And he had brought Babs with him! They found a place to stand in the crowd, and he put his arm around her. He looked up at me and we locked eyes. I mouthed ‘I’m sorry’ to him, and he smiled back kindly. I knew that everything was going to be fine between us.
After I finished my last song, the lights went out and the crowd cheered wildly. The gig was a complete success. I felt a wave of happiness and excitement flow through me as I walked backstage to my dressing room. I passed Reggie in the hallway, and he said, “I left a little surprise for you in your dressing room.”
When I opened my dressing room door, Rex was standing in the corner shyly. He had taken off his disguise, and I could see his disheveled hair, his sparkling blue eyes, and that playful smile of his.
“Rex!” I exclaimed.
“I am so sorry for everything,” he said, as he moved towards me.
“I am sorry, too,” I said softly. “I am so glad to see you.”
“Me too. That was an amazing show tonight, Rose,” he replied and hugged me so tightly my feet came off the ground.
“Thank you,” I squeezed him, put my feet back on the ground, and pulled back to look at him. “And what you said on stage…”
“I meant every word,” he said, looking back at my eyes. I threw my arms around his neck, and we hugged again.
“I thought that you went home to England,” I said while in our embrace. “It made the whole city – my whole life – feel empty and meaningless.”
A Kiss and a Cuddle Page 10