by A. m Madden
“Seems not only the women in here are on the prowl,” he said, motioning toward the jammed dance floor. Upon closer inspection, there were men writhing together, some women lip-locked in similar positions, and then there was Kyle between Sapphire and an Asian woman who had a five o’clock shadow.
Luca and I busted out laughing and shifted direction. We almost made it out the door before Kyle spotted us.
“Assholes!” he said when he caught up.
“What?” Luca lifted both hands in his Italian way. “We’re just getting some air.”
Just as we walked out the door to flag a cab, Kyle’s phone dinged. He pulled it out and a rueful smile grew across his face. I’d seen that look before, and after what just went down with Sapphire, I knew it was directed at me.
A yellow sedan pulled up to the curb and we all got in. Kyle and Luca took the backseat, while I sat upfront with the driver. As soon as I began to rattle off my address, Kyle shouted a different one from the back.
“Dude, I’m going home.” Again, I attempted to tell the driver my address, but this time, Luca chimed in and repeated what Kyle had said. When I turned to look at my idiot friends, Luca was reading the text Kyle had just received.
“Jude, trust us.” Luca nodded in agreement.
I couldn’t contain the sarcastic chuckle that escaped me. “Trust you? Did you just say that to me?”
Luca chimed it. “It’s her.”
Her who? Brae? My girl was texting Kyle? What the fuck? “What the hell are you talking about?”
“Shelly just sent me a text saying she’s having drinks with Brae and her friends at some Mexican bar. I say we go check it out.”
Kyle’s words, while tempting, didn’t bode well with me. If I saw Brae getting hit on by someone, they were going to end up in the hospital. All I could think of was the feeling I had when Toby hit on her while we were having lunch and he wasn’t really interested.
“No, it’s not a good idea. She hates me.” I ran my hand through my hair. Just as I looked out the window, I saw a green, yellow, and orange sombrero flashing in the near distance. Fuck.
Luca swiped his card and once he was out of the sedan, opened my door. “Come on, man, give it one more shot.”
“Yeah, give it the old college try.” Kyle swung his fist in front of him. “What do you have to lose? If she blows you off, I’m sure there are others in there who would just want to blow you. So, it’s all good.” He slung his arm around my shoulder, ignoring my glare.
“Kyle, shut the fuck up.” Luca shoved him away from me. “Just go in there and get her back.”
Music blared as soon as we pulled the door open. The place was packed. My eyes tried to focus on faces to see if I could find her, but it was to no avail. The lighting sucked and people who weren’t dancing or sitting at a table were occupying every inch of the wooden floor.
Luca pointed to the right side where the bar was located. “There are a couple stools at the bar.” We followed him, weaving our way through the crowd.
Once we sat down, I continued to peruse the patrons. I did a double take anytime I saw a brunette, but none were her. Scrubbing my jaw with my hand, I said, “This is ridiculous. Let’s just leave.”
“Patience, my dear friend.” Kyle slapped me on my back, then motioned to the bartender and we ordered the same drinks we had at Claw Hammer.
Kyle’s phone buzzed on the bar top and it was like a defibrillator to my heart. A second later, he shouted above the music. “They’re at a table on the left side of the dance floor.” He slid off his stool. “I’m going to go say hi to Shelly, and you’re coming with me.”
On my nod, Luca said he’d wait for our drinks and make sure no one took our seats. That told me he wasn’t very confident we’d be invited to sit with them. As soon as we passed a group celebrating a bachelorette party, I saw her, and my feet stopped moving, causing a waitress to bump into me.
Kyle turned and lowered his brow. “Dude, you’re causing a traffic jam.”
Shelly spotted Kyle first, and when she raised her hand in the air to wave at him, all eyes were on us. Then, all eyes were on me. Her friends were pissed. I didn’t know them, but the look they had in their eyes assured me Brae didn’t have kind things to say about me. When I stepped closer, a brunette I remembered from the night of the game show eyed me up and down before giving me a smile. Cutting my eyes to Kyle, I noticed he wasn’t looking at Shelly. He was eyeing the brunette who had just eye-fucked me.
“Hi, Brae.” She threw me a bored expression, then looked away to resume her conversation with one of her friends.
“I’m Vanessa.” The flirtatious brunette held her hand out to me, then Kyle. “It’s nice to officially meet you.” Kyle mumbled something and took a bit longer to release her hand. Didn’t he realize Shelly was staring at him? Idiot.
My ribs felt as though they were squeezing my heart like a vise. She couldn’t even look at me. This was a mistake. Before I could turn to go, another friend of hers said she needed to go to the ladies’ room, which must have been some type of chick code because all of them got up—except Brae. It was clear they all didn’t need to go to the bathroom. She just glared at them over her salt-rimmed glass as they made a hasty retreat.
Kyle asked Vanessa to dance, which she accepted . . . and that left two.
I sat down sideways in the chair next to Brae. As always, she looked gorgeous. Her hair was resting over her shoulders, she had on a light pink V-neck sweater, which was made for her body, and a pair of dark jeans.
“What are you doing here?” Her eyes were sad, but her words were strong. Fuck.
“I came to see you.” What’s the sense in lying? “Shelly told Kyle you guys were here, and I needed to see you.”
“Why?” She pivoted toward me. Our knees touched and it took every ounce of willpower I had not to take her hands in mine.
“Because I miss you.” Her eyes narrowed at me. Loud music drowned my words. Not wanting to yell, I grabbed her hand and pulled her behind me until we were out the door.
“Jude, it’s freezing out.” I stopped long enough to take off my leather jacket and place it over her shoulders.
Leading her around the corner of the building, I boxed her in against the concrete wall. “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to yell.” My ears were ringing, and as far as I knew, I was still shouting. “You asked me why I’m here, and I said it’s because I miss you.”
Her shoulders slumped as she dropped her head. Lifting her chin with my index finger, I stared into the eyes I’ve been longing for. “Sparky, I haven’t slept well in weeks. My body misses yours. When I go to make dinner, I don’t want to just cook for one, I want to cook for us. Everything reminds me of you. I can’t look at an apple without thinking of how sweet your hair smells. I can’t eat bacon without thinking of how to burn calories. I stand in my bathroom trying to figure out what took you so long at night.”
“Jude . . .” she said on a sigh, her warm breath appearing as a puff of smoke in the frigid air.
“No, I need to finish. Every night before I go to sleep, I watch the video I took of you sleeping just so I can hear you snore. It plays over and over again. At first, it calmed me, but now it makes me anxious. I don’t sleep in my bed because you’re not beside me.” I rested my forehead against hers. Her warm breath felt like a balm on my skin. “I need you to forgive me. If I could change things, I would. Do you realize how much you mean to me? I made a mistake, and if I hadn’t, you’d be Mrs. Soren right now.”
Looking up at me, she pulled her head away from mine, her eyes glistening. “Don’t you think I know that? You were everything I’ve ever wanted in a man. The way you touched me, looked at me, and made me feel was all new and invigorating. I fell hard for you. My entire heart was in it. And now, you’re standing here telling me all these sweet things, but what you forgot to say was, ‘I’d be Mrs. Soren if you would have put us first.’ You put work first. Where did that leave us?” Before I could attempt to answe
r, she did it for me. “I’ll tell you where. Broken, because that’s how I felt that day. It’s how I’ve felt every day since. You broke more than my heart—you broke me.” Tears rolled over her cheeks, and she looked away, breaking my heart in the process.
“I’m sorry,” I said with an ache in my throat.
“You’ve said that. If I forgive you, will you leave me alone?” The look on her face, the sound of her voice, and the slouch of her shoulders said she was utterly defeated.
“No. I can’t leave you alone. Weren’t you listening?”
“Let me make this easier for you.” I watched as she worked down a swallow. “I forgive you, and I’m moving back in with my parents.”
What the fuck? She’s leaving? I raked my fingers through my hair. “You’re lying. I know you don’t forgive me, and I’d rather you stay and fight with me than move away. Don’t do this to us.”
“Jude.” She placed her hand on my chest right over the spot that ached. “I’m not doing this to us. There is no us. We left us in St. John.”
“The fuck we did.” I crashed my lips on hers, pinning her body against the wall with mine. Every ounce of frustration poured out of me. Brae tilted her head, allowing me full access to taste her. When my tongue touched hers, all sense left me. Spearing her hair with my fingers, I pulled her closer to me.
The woman needed a reminder of how good we were together. If she was dead set on leaving, I’d prove to her why she shouldn’t. Then it dawned on me. Did her parents need her there, or was she leaving for other reasons?
Not wanting to break our kiss, but needing answers, I released my hold on her. “Tell me why you’re leaving. Are your parents okay? Is it your father?”
“My parents are fine. I’m leaving because I can’t afford not to.” She pulled the lapels of my jacket tighter around her body.
Money. Everything boiled down to the all-mighty dollar. Something I had more than enough of, and something that caused Brae to struggle. It’s what brought us together, and ironically, what tore us apart.
“You’re not moving.”
“But I am. Jude, everything comes easy for you. You don’t get it. You don’t have to get it.”
“I get it perfectly, Brae. What good is all my money if the person I love won’t share it with me?”
She blinked a few times, but said nothing.
“I’m sick of our bullshit. We were more honest with each other when we were strangers. I’m done. I love you. Plain and simple. I can support you, and I will. If you think I’ll just sit here and let you move away after all we’ve been through, you don’t know me very well.”
The same expression kept her face frozen in shock. I leaned in until my lips pressed against hers. “Cat got your tongue, Kitten?”
“Jude.” Her chin lowered to her chest, forcing me to lift it so she had nowhere to look but into my eyes.
“This is me, Brae. I speak my mind. I don’t hold back. That alone should speak volumes. I love you. Fuck Ignite Your Spark . . . fuck Barbi and Chip . . . fuck it all. Me wanting to be with you has nothing to do with a goddamn spark. It has nothing to do with you needing the money, or jackass Kyle setting me up. It has to do with me not functioning without you. I’m not the same person I was, and it’s because of you.”
Fresh tears welled in her eyes as she stared up into mine. I held my hands against her cold cheeks and pushed my body into hers. “Brae Daniels, you’ll marry me one day.”
“Are you serious?” She laughed through her tears, and now it was my turn to blink.
“Completely.”
“First of all, you never even wined and dined me. You didn’t have to date me, or work to get me.”
“Date? No fucking way. I hate dating. I don’t do dating. We lived together for fuck’s sake.”
“Regardless, if you think I’m going to stand here and make it easy for you, you can kiss my ass. I’m still mad at you, Jude Soren. And you have a lot of groveling ahead of you,” she proclaimed with a devious smile.
“So, does that mean you forgive me?”
Even in the dim lighting, I could see her blush. “Hmmm . . . I don’t know. We’ll see.” I jutted out my lower lip in a pout and looked at her with puppy dog eyes. “Really, that’s what you’re going with? Sexy Jude Soren, what has happened to you?” She let out a laugh.
I laughed along with her, kissing her over and over. “Fuck, I love you. Every pain in the ass inch of you.” After one long, hard kiss, I took her hand and led her toward the street. “We’re going back inside to tell your friends better plans have popped up.” She looked up at me as I gave her an arrogant smirk. “It’s time to have make-up sex, Sparky.”
Chapter 29
Brae
After our epiphany, we talked things out in length. He helped me understand what occurred that had him leaving the cottage that day, and even had Luca corroborate his true motives. As far as paying off the loan, I tried to get him to understand where I was coming from. We discussed his very generous donations to the orphanage, and during our conversation, I better understood him. In turn, he empathized with my situation. Communication was key in our healing and moving forward in our relationship.
I have now been with this spectacular man lying next to me for sixteen weeks—minus the three we were apart. Since our brief separation, we’ve hardly spent much time without each other. Of course we weren’t hermits. There were nights I’d hang out with the girls while he hung out with his friends, but we’ve yet to hang out as a group. Jude wanted all of us to spend time together and I promised him one day soon, we would.
Thinking about how far we’d come from the first time we walked into the small cottage to the day I walked into his two-level apartment made me happy.
When I first saw the fireplace, gourmet kitchen I’d never use, and spiral staircase leading up to the glorious master suite, it completely overwhelmed me. If it weren’t for Jude’s housekeeper, I doubted it would be as neat as it was. The space was large enough for both my SoHo apartment and that tiny house I loved to easily fit inside.
Despite the luxury surrounding me, it was the man who made me feel as though I’d hit the lottery. His witty banter and dirty jokes coupled with his brilliant mind enthralled me.
And sweet lord, looking at his gorgeous face and magnificent body wasn’t any easier than it had been the moment he stepped out from behind that screen. And hearing his sexy as hell Swedish accent whenever he opened his mouth to speak hasn’t lessened the way my heart kick-started.
I leaned on my hand, a ridiculously plush pillow squashed beneath my arm, and stared at him long and hard. Taking in his straight nose, square jaw, and that mouth-watering scruff instantly sparked activity in my crotch. Lashes most women would kill for rested on his upper cheek as his sexy man lips parted with each breath. I wanted to catch him snoring just once, but it never happened.
I really couldn’t examine him while he was awake since he always called me out on it and usually embarrassed me for my blatant ogling. But when he was still sleeping beside me every morning, I got to truly enjoy admiring every inch of him.
It wasn’t hard to do, since the man slept naked and the sheet or blanket we started with more likely than not ended up on the floor somewhere in the middle of the night. He claimed it was my fault, that my annoying thrashing about in his king size bed created a tsunami of cascading linens to tumble to the ground. He was full of shit.
I had my theory, and when I accused him of pushing them away from us so he could ogle me as I slept every night, his returning smirk spoke volumes.
Either way, I wasn’t complaining. A sheetless Jude gave me the unfettered opportunity to eye-fuck the rest of his body, his abs, his happy trail, his beautiful cock. Yes, I called it beautiful, because it was. Perfectly proportioned, smooth skin, no ugly veins, or discoloration—a perfect penis.
I often pondered all that we went through to get here, and then quickly thanked the powers that be for bringing this perfect man into my life. Of cour
se, I was blinded by love, because he was far from perfect. I had yet to admit that I loved him, even though I think I fell in love with him the day we went kayaking in St. John.
The way he would relentlessly tease and taunt me to say those three little words was fun—unless I was mad at him. Then it took all my energy not to kill him. Most of the time, Jude was relaxed and easygoing. But when it came to his business, the fun, joking Jude went into hiding. I’ve heard many one-sided conversations as he went off on one of his employees over the phone, and he liked those people, so I couldn’t imagine what would happen when he unleashed his financial-fueled fury on a stranger.
He stirred beside me, rubbing his eye with the back of his bent finger while releasing a sleepy moan. One eyelid slid open to reveal one perfect greenish-brown eye. He stared right at me, a slow, devilish grin spreading over his lips. “What are you looking at, Sparky?”
“Nothing.”
“Liar. You know my rules. If you are going to eye-fuck me, you need to follow through.”
“Who said I wasn’t planning on following through?”
Moving over, I straddled his hips and his morning erection nestled against me. On contact, his scorching skin caused my flesh to pebble with goosebumps. The smile fell from his face, and the look he gave me sent my heart pounding into overdrive. Some would think he was angry, but I knew him better than that. It was the same look he got when he was beyond turned on. Seeing it now forced my hips to slide back and forth over his length. My wetness coated him with each movement. He felt good between my folds, like he belonged there, because he did.
Our eyes connected and held, his livid expression deepening with every shift of my hips. His mess of hair begged for my touch. I ran a hand through his thick locks, scratching his scalp with each stroke. Predictably, his eyes slid shut as he moaned. He loved when I did that, especially if my naked pussy was near his dick at the same time.