by Lydia Deyes
Ever since Barrie had died, I hadn’t had someone to talk to, really. Amery’s conversation was often awkward, and lately we’d been disagreeing more than I’d have liked. I was glad she was there, but Kevin was what I really needed in a friend. I wanted to keep him close so I wouldn’t lose him like I had the hawk. If Kevin died, I wouldn’t know what to do. It would be like losing Barrie all over again, and my sister and mother, and most of all, Samuel.
I felt and heard the ringing in my head again, but it went down almost immediately. I knew Kevin was protecting me. A fleeting thought crossed my mind.
I wish I hadn’t named our group “Samuel’s family.” It’s a nice tribute to Samuel, and I miss him more than anything, but it’s also weak. The name “Sheer’s Army” is much more appealing. I shook my head, as if arguing with myself. Changing it now would confuse everyone and make me seem selfish.
My eyes were getting heavy, but I had so much on my mind, deep sleep still wouldn’t come. Why was I cursed with so much responsibility? I wished again that Samuel hadn’t died. If he was still here, I wouldn’t have had to take on the leadership role. Then, for the first time, I thought again. If Samuel was still alive, if he’d never launched himself from that tree, Amery wouldn’t be here. Even though her friendship barely compared to my mentor’s, she was still a good friend. She was there when I needed her, even when I hadn’t been kind. Realizing I hadn’t spoken to her today, I felt sad.
I should value her more.
The pain and ringing from Nivek’s attack surged again, but it felt more like an annoyance thanks to Kevin’s assistance. The attacks were more frequent now, but much less severe, and I was grateful.
I breathed deeply, closed my eyes, and imagined hearing the sounds of the night again. Amery had described them to me back when we were in the city; different sounds than what I’d heard in visions while spending time with the squirrels. A sweet melody would arise, beginning with the hum of mosquitoes, then the chirping of crickets, and then the other bugs would chime in. Night frogs would come out, some peeping, some bellowing deeply. They usually sang the loudest in the spring, but if you were lucky, you could sometimes hear them now, in the fall. If we were close to the streets, the mechanical rushing of cars would add a new tone to the symphony, and everything would be in perfect harmony.
For Amery, though, the most magical sound was that of rain. A gentle drizzle, she’d told me, was the most perfect music to her ears. I didn’t think I’d like it much if I ever got the chance to hear it. It held too many haunted memories of my past, and I still hadn’t gotten over my fear of water.
As I continued to imagine the magical orchestra of nighttime sounds, I opened my eyes and watched the stars begin to dance along with the music in my head. They swirled in circles around each other, performing beautiful twists and turns in the dark night sky. The moon, too, joined the chorus. It was the first good dream I’d experienced in a long while. I couldn’t remember ever having a dream like this before, and I savored it in solemn, grateful reflection.
I watched the slender, graceful movements in the heavens, failing to notice that the moon was growing. I finally saw it once it had engulfed half of the sky, and the sweet chords came to a screeching halt. The long, lonely howl of a wolf echoed through the open air, reverberating against the silent mountains. It was an eerie sound. I wondered if this was what a real wolf sounded like, outside of a dream. In my visions, I’d only heard Nivek’s growls.
As the howl faded, so did everything else. Soon, all I saw and heard was dark, cold silence. Finally, I drifted off into uneasy slumber.
XXXII
Morning came, and the sun shone down brightly on my head through the browning leaves. I blinked and squinted in the light. Had I overslept? Worried, I flew as fast as I could to the clearing at center camp. I saw a few animals still there, but it looked as if they’d already eaten the communal breakfast.
How come no one woke me up?
I couldn’t miss out on tradition like this! I immediately wondered where Kevin was. He would have come to get me, even if no one else was willing to.
Where has he gone off to?
I was about to go searching for him, but then I remembered my duty to the predator birds. I sighed. Looking for Kevin would have to wait.
Pumping my wings to pick up speed, I made my way to the river where I’d called the predators the day before. To my delight, I saw them already in the air, carrying their rocks from the previous day. Upon seeing me, they glided back down to the ground.
“Good morning!” The fish eagle, who had given me trouble the previous day, landed closest to me. Again, there was something more to the phrase; something I’d need written down to understand. I recognized it, though, as the same respectful phrase Ryan had uttered previously. I decided to ask either Amery or Kevin about it later, if I could remember.
“Did you enjoy your extra sleep today, sir?” the eagle continued, seeming oddly pleased with himself.
“Well… yes,” I responded, still confused. All the birds of prey looked at each other, as if they were sharing some sort of secret.
“Okay, what’s going on here?” I demanded.
“Today marks a full year since you joined the thirteenth floor,” the eagle explained, gesturing with his wings and talons. “It was Amery’s idea. She said you needed a break and hadn’t really fully rested since you recovered from the poisoning. All of Samuel’s family thought that today was a great day to cut you some slack.”
“Oh, that was very sweet of her,” I replied, taken aback. Has it really been a year? “I’ll make sure to thank her later. But in the meantime, you all need to get back to work. We don’t have much time to prepare, so we shouldn’t waste it chatting.”
“Right away, sir! Do you want us to continue the same exercise as yesterday?”
“I have a different plan today,” I replied, recalling my talk with Kevin. “You need strength in war, but also endurance. You must be able to fly in the air for a long time, and you need to be capable of flying long distances in pursuit of the enemy. This battle will be very different from the one on the thirteenth floor. We will be in the vast forest, not confined to a building. The wolves are fast and strong and will easily outrun you if you aren’t prepared to pick up speed and maintain it for a long time. So today, you’ll fly around camp for as long as you possibly can. I’d fly alongside you to make sure you’re using proper technique, but of course I don’t have the same capabilities as a sparrow.”
“What would you do, then?”
“One of you will carry me on your back,” I stated simply.
They all looked at each other sheepishly, then the fish eagle stepped forward with a grimace. He was clearly trying to make up for his ill behavior the previous day.
About time.
He turned his back to me so I could hop on. I did so and caught myself as I slipped, grabbing his shoulder bones. I found I could wedge myself there, holding on to his shoulders with my claws to keep from falling off.
I instructed the predators to lift into the air, and soon we were soaring above the forest. It was a much different view from so high up, and I gazed at the dying autumn foliage. A cool breeze was stripping trees of their leaves. This high above the ground, the wind was much stronger than it was in the underbrush. I directed the birds to fly headfirst into the wind and watched their feathers ruffle as they pushed against the current. I held on dearly. I tried to imagine the sound of the wind through their feathers but couldn’t think of what it would be like. Maybe I’d never know.
It was a depressing thought, that of being deaf forever, so I searched for another way to pass the time. All the predators seemed to be flying perfectly, except for one small hawk below me. Watching her struggle gave me an idea. It had been a while since I’d practiced my powers, and I might need them for the battle, so I experimented. I controlled the air around the struggling hawk, relieving the resistance for a short while. The hawk made a subtle movement as she caught herself,
surprised she was no longer being resisted by the headlong wind. Slowly, I returned the air around her to normal, giving her a more gradual increase in resistance. When I was no longer helping her, she was flying better than before. I felt my chest puff with pride; I’d improved her flying skills, all by myself.
Now that I’d experienced a taste of power again, I liked it. I wedged myself more firmly between the fish eagle’s shoulder blades and looked around for anything else I could play with. I pushed the trees to sway more strongly and watched the leaves swirl upward in beautiful spirals. A falcon ahead of me caught a tail current, and I pushed him back into the headlong wind. I was thoroughly enjoying this.
At that moment, I felt Nivek’s attack again. But this time it was so faint, I paid no attention to it. Thanks to Kevin, the attacks were becoming more futile. Ignoring the sound, I morphed a nearby cloud into the shape of an S for Sheer. I pushed it along beside us for a while before letting it disperse.
Several of the predators looked tired, and the sun was now beginning to set, so I called out to let them know it was okay to return to the riverside and end the day’s training.
When we landed, I hopped off the fish eagle’s back. It felt strange using my own legs and wings again. It felt so uncomfortable, in fact, I decided I didn’t want to fly back to my nest. After everyone had dispersed, I looked around to make sure no one was watching. Then I closed my eyes and used my power on my own body to transport myself back to my nest. When I opened my eyes to see the familiar bush surrounding me, excitement and pride welled up inside me so strongly, I forgot about being uncomfortable. I wanted to share the growth in my power, so I flew to center camp to tell Kevin about my day.
Amery was there, but Kevin wasn’t. Excitement still bubbled in my veins, and I desperately wanted to share what had happened, so I told her everything. She didn’t take the news as well as I thought she would.
“You did what?”
I fluttered my wings, disappointed at her reaction. “I just experimented with my powers, Amery. You know, to see what I’m really capable of.”
“Sheer, I don’t think you were given those abilities to use them that way.”
The faint ringing in my head surfaced temporarily, but I ignored it. Kevin was taking care of me, after all. “How can you claim why I received my powers? I seem to have always had them, at least after I woke up after being nearly killed by a storm, and have had no shortage of challenges ever since. Maybe I deserve to do with them as I please because of everything I’ve been through just to be alive.”
“I’m just saying that you should be careful with your gifts,” Amery replied. “I don’t know where or how you got them, but maybe it’s outside your control. Maybe if you abuse them, they will go away.”
I could tell by her expression that she was serious. Still, I couldn’t help laughing. “Ha! Out of my control? Amery, this is a part of me. The more I use them, the more in control I feel. Not just of the abilities themselves, but of my life, my destiny… not to mention, everything that is a part of this world.”
“What would Samuel say if he heard you speaking that way? Sheer, your lust for power is turning you into the very enemies you have been trying to defeat! If you keep going down this path, what makes you different from Nyoka or Spike before they changed sides?”
“I’m not turning evil, Amery! I’m not enslaving the minds of trapped animals in some imaginary world just to be their ruler. I’m not committing mass genocide, reviving beasts with blood magic, or poisoning random birds whose lives are already hard enough. Everyone chose me to be the leader of this army. You chose me. As the leader, why shouldn’t I be more powerful? If we want to defeat Nivek, we will need all the strength we can get.”
“Manipulating the bodies of your army and teleporting yourself because you’re too lazy don’t exude strength, Sheer. That is selfish, and the opposite of what a leader should be. You’re setting an awful example.”
“You just don’t get it! Why is this such a bad thing?” Anger and annoyance boiled their way to the surface, and I wished Kevin were here to back me up. “You don’t understand anything about this.”
Not like Kevin does.
Kevin’s voice echoed in my head. “I’m coming as soon as I can.”
But to my surprise, Amery sighed with defeat. “I can tell you’re not listening, Sheer. Just, if something does happen, don’t say I didn’t warn you.” With that, she turned and left me standing in shock. I remained perched on the branch in silence as it swayed gently in the breeze.
“It’s over, Kevin,” I said when the chickadee came into view. “Amery gave up her argument.”
“Oh, good! What was she trying to say, anyway?”
“Just some ridiculous claim that my powers aren’t my own and I should be careful how I use them… or something.”
“Why make that claim all of a sudden? What did you do to upset her?”
Knowing his response would be different, I gladly told Kevin the entire story. The excitement had long since fizzled away, though, and repeating it made me feel empty inside.
“Oh, that’s all?” Kevin asked when I’d finished. “That doesn’t seem so bad to me. You barely even influenced anyone, and it sounds like when you did, it was for their own good.”
“Yeah, exactly. I don’t know what her problem was.”
“You have an amazing ability, Sheer, and are fully deserving of it after all you’ve been through. Why shouldn’t you be able to use it as you wish?”
His words were reassuring, but something about what Amery had said still bugged me. “Do you… think she’s right, though? That if I’m not careful, my powers could be taken from me?”
“Absolutely not,” Kevin replied. “I mean, any more than your soul, or your heart. It’s a part of you, isn’t it?”
“Yeah,” I said, nodding. “Yeah, you’re right. Thanks. I knew you’d understand.”
“That’s what I’m here for,” he said. He nudged me gently. “You should probably rest, though. There’s another big day ahead.”
“Right. Of course. Goodnight, Kevin.”
“G’night.”
I headed back to my nest, still mulling over the two opinions. Even though my friend had agreed with me, I still was troubled by Amery’s opinion.
Why can’t she just be on my side, like Kevin?
The moon hung high in the sky, large and bright, but already beginning to wane again. Suddenly, all thoughts about the correct usage of my powers were washed away and replaced with a feeling of dread. Time was running out, and I was afraid we’d never be ready to face the wolf’s attack. Did we have any chance of surviving at all? Could I even trust him to honor the agreement and wait until the next full moon?
I closed my eyes in an attempt to see the wolf, but I struggled to clear my mind. Instead of the black wolf, all I saw was darkness, devoid of life and light.
XXXIII
The air felt completely still the next morning as I flew to the riverside for yet another day of training. There was not even a hint of a breeze; it was like the Earth had frozen in place. The stillness made me restless. I hoped Spike would return soon and take the duty away from me. I wanted the freedom to practice my powers, to become more powerful than Nivek himself. With this little time, it was my only hope. There was no way the army alone could defeat him, even if it was several times larger than the army we’d amassed on the thirteenth floor. Nivek was a totally different challenge, and we needed something — or someone — powerful enough to face him.
A shadow passed overhead, and I looked up to see massive, dark clouds looming in the sky. The sun shone faintly as it rose in the east, where the forest met the mountains, but its rays did little to warm the chill air. The earth seemed to be holding its breath, waiting for something to happen. I took a deep breath, taking in the brisk air as I rounded the bend and arrived at the riverside. Many of the predators were already at the bank, waiting.
“Today, warriors, I want you to practice diving,
” I announced as soon as I thought I was within earshot. “This will combine with the exercise from two days ago. You will take a stone, fly as high as you can with it, then dive back down. Just before you touch the ground, I want you to turn around and fly straight back up. Soaring will be your rest, but dive as often as you’re able. Now go! Get started!”
I watched as the large birds in my command followed my order. I wondered what the other units were doing for training and was tempted to sneak away to find out but decided against it. I had a duty here, at least until Spike returned with his crows.
At that moment, I felt a breeze ruffle my feathers. Thinking the wind had returned, I turned my head to look at the forest behind me. Instead of swaying branches and tossing leaves, I saw the old crow. His form was slumped with exhaustion, and his battalion filled the trees behind him.
“I’m here,” he said wearily.
“Welcome back! How was your journey?”
“Everything went according to plan.” He swayed, too weary to hold himself up steadily. My heart softened for his exhaustion. I knew he was willing to take over responsibility, and I would be happy to give it up, but…
Maybe I can wait one more day.
“Good,” I responded. “Your command unit has performed well. They have awaited your return, but I’ll continue their training today. You should get some rest. Will you be able to retake command of the combined units tomorrow?”
“I’ll do my best, sir. Thank you.”
As he turned to leave, I scanned the number of crows he’d brought with him. I’d forgotten how many there were. “One more thing, predator commander,” I said. “The forest within our jurisdiction is rather full of animals. The army has grown since we arrived. You should be able to find a spot to stay, but… your crows may need to live beyond the border.”
“Yes, sir.”
“You’re dismissed. Take your leave, and get some rest.”