by Lydia Deyes
“Not much longer. He’ll soon notice that something is amiss. Just wait, you’ll see. He will surrender. But if you’re impatient, perhaps you should try something more… drastic.”
“Vat do you suggest?”
I tried to continue listening, but the voices became muffled. At the same time, a distant voice called my name.
Sheer!
“…some of his friends…”
Sheer, wake up!
“…that will make him…”
Sheer!
“…of course, Your Majesty. I vill do as you ‘ave commanded.”
Sheer! Come on, wake up!
I groaned and opened my eyes, returning to the silent world I’d become accustomed to. “Amery, I was dreaming.” My brain felt heavy and dull, but I vaguely wondered why I was able to hear her in the dream.
“I could tell. You were shaking terribly. Come on, it’s morning.”
I looked out of the hollow. It was still raining, and the sky was so darkened by clouds, it was impossible to tell the time. “How do you know?”
“If you paid attention, you’d see it’s a bit brighter than it was before. Come on, the communal breakfast is starting.”
“But… it’s raining!”
“So? That’s part of life in the forest, Sheer.” When I didn’t respond, she cocked her head. Her eyes widened with understanding. “Oh right, you’re afraid of rain, aren’t you?”
I nodded.
“Sorry, Sheer, but… there’s nothing to be afraid of. It’s good for the earth. Water makes things grow, you know. Without it, we’d have nothing.”
Thunder crashed. Its vibrations shook the entire tree, and me with it. Even Amery flinched, but she continued to look at me firmly.
“I’ll pass, thanks,” I said. “I want to stay here, where it’s dry.”
“Sheer, you're the leader of this family,” Amery scolded. “You can’t show this kind of petty fear. There are too many animals depending on you to be brave when they can’t be. Come on, join us.”
My fear isn’t petty. “No.”
She sighed. “You’re hopeless, Sheer. I know you’re stronger than this. Act like it.” She turned and left for center camp to join the others. I didn’t care what my duties were. I wasn’t about to fly in the dreadful, wet world outside the cozy hollow.
I thought about the dream I’d had before Amery woke me up so rudely. I still didn’t know who the other voice belonged to. My visions showed nothing but darkness. And what were they planning to do to my friends? I certainly didn’t have many left… I hoped they weren’t planning to hurt Kevin.
“SURRENDER,” I heard in my head. I nearly fell over with shock.
It was the deep voice from my dream, but even more menacing. The voice echoed, as if multiple creatures were saying the same thing at once. The voice had a lower pitch than was natural for any creature.
Will I have to fight against the owner of this voice? I wondered.
If so… I didn’t think I’d ever survive. The voice sounded like it wielded unspeakable power. I was suddenly afraid, even more afraid than I was of rain. A battle with this enemy would surely mean death for the entire army, no matter how much we trained. Would fewer animals have to die if I…
“SURRENDER,” I heard again.
But what would happen if I turned myself in? Would the wolf and mysterious speaker honor their agreement, or would they destroy everyone out of spite?
I was at a complete loss. I was afraid and had no idea what to do. I wanted to break down and weep. I wished it were all over already. Why did I have to bear this load? Why couldn’t someone else be the subject of the prophecy? Was that silly poem really the only thing that gave me this responsibility? Did they think they could force me to work for them, or did they just want me out of the way?
I had so many questions but no answers.
Why, of all things, does it have to be pouring? I wondered, looking mournfully out at the rain. If only the sun were shining, then I’d be able to think straight and come to a decision.
“Surrender,” I heard in my voice again, but this time it was faint. Just as I wondered whether Kevin was helping me again, I heard his gentle voice echo in my mind. It was so different from the deep, powerful voices that wanted to me surrender, I was immediately at ease again.
“Just go back to sleep, Sheer,” he said. “Everything will be alright. Sleep as long as you need to. I’ll take care of you.”
XXXVI
Dreams came and went, but fitful sleep kept its hold on me. Most of the dreams were soon gone, forgotten, as if they’d never existed. There were times when they seemed so real. I dreamed that I awoke, and that Kevin and Amery gave me rain-soaked seeds to eat, or a washed-out worm. I wasn’t sure whether I really ever woke at all. Everything was a haze, and the rumbling of rain and thunder echoed through my body like a pulse. I lived and breathed in the monotony.
My head ached, but I wasn’t sure if the pain was real, a figment of my imagination, or a faint memory from the distant past. Days could’ve passed, weeks, even. I lost track of time in the never-ending rain. I couldn’t tell dream from reality, or day from night.
◆◆◆
“Ze veather vill get ‘im, for sure.”
“Yes. Just wait; he’ll come soon.”
◆◆◆
I saw a flock of butterflies, flitting about in the rain. One in particular caught my eye: it was a beautiful crystal blue, with black tips on its wings. As I watched, the black spread across the membrane, forming deep veins that connected its body to its wingtips.
◆◆◆
I heard Amery’s voice. “Sheer, get up and do something. I know you’re afraid of the rain, but it’s time to face your fear.”
“Let him be,” Kevin replied. “Let him sleep. He deserves his rest, small one.”
“Who are you calling small?”
◆◆◆
“Have all plans been made?”
“Ya, Your Greatness, und carried out.”
“Excellent.”
◆◆◆
The black continued to spread on the butterfly’s wings, engulfing it completely. No hint of color was left. Now that butterfly flew among hundreds of others, and as it passed them, each also lost its color.
◆◆◆
“It’s been so long… food is becoming scarce. Sheer, what do we do?”
“We need to store food.”
“I wasn’t asking you, Kevin. I was consulting Sheer’s advice. He’s the leader of this family, not you.”
“I am Sheer’s advice.”
“Do whatever Kevin says,” I mumbled.
◆◆◆
The entire flock of butterflies was pitch black now. Then, in an instant, they were no longer butterflies. They were black bats, swarming, eager to feed.
◆◆◆
“Ze third quarter moon ‘as come and gone, und still ze sparrow ‘as not showed.”
“He will come, in time. This is all part of the plan. Be patient, dark one.”
◆◆◆
“Sheer, get up and do something. Your army, your family, is counting on you.”
“Leave him be.”
“What have you done to him? Why is he still sleeping?”
“I haven’t done anything. Just leave him alone.”
◆◆◆
The horde of bats came closer, closer. They wanted flesh… they wanted me. I tried to move, but my wings and legs were stuck in mud. I tried to scream, but my voice was broken. I was silent, ever silent, and no one would hear me die.
The rain poured on, never ceasing, the torture never-ending.
◆◆◆
“Sheer, this isn’t good for you. Get up, you need to get up!”
“Let him be, small one. Let him be.”
“No, I won’t! He’s hurting, can’t you see that? He’s been still for too long. What have you done? Sheer! Sheer, wake up!”
◆◆◆
The bats… I could feel them, tearing apart
my flesh. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t scream.
“Sheer!” It was just a whisper. “Sheer, help me!”
Suddenly, I wasn’t the one who’d been under attack. It was Amery, and there was nothing left of her. She was gone, far gone, and I’d done nothing to save her. Now the bats were turning to me again, to make a meal out of me as well. Her flesh hadn’t satisfied them.
◆◆◆
I woke up with a start. It was still raining.
“Amery!” I cried out. “Oh, Amery! What have I done? She’s gone!”
Amery popped her head into the hollow, water dripping from her beak. “Sheer! Are you okay?”
“You’re… alive?”
“Yes, of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I thought you were… but the bats!”
“There are no bats, Sheer. You were dreaming. But I’m glad you’re awake now…”
I looked out of the hollow, trying to see the moon, but it was still obscured by black clouds and the never-ending sheets of rain. “How long have I been asleep?”
“Fast asleep, just a few moments… but you’ve been in and out of it for the past several days. You were in a sort of stupor. I wasn’t sure if you were really here, even if your eyes were open. Even if you spoke. I think it’s been six days that you’ve been like that.”
I stretched my wings. Had I really been out that long? The moon must be completely dark by now. “What happened while I was out?”
“Well, it’s been raining the whole time. The river has flooded, and food is short. There’s standing water up to my beak everywhere, because the ground just can’t soak it in anymore. Kevin said to store food, and you agreed with him. Then you decided to start rationing food, in case there wasn’t enough for everyone.”
“I did?”
“Yes. You don’t remember? Everyone’s been living on less lately.”
My stomach told me she was telling the truth. “What about training?”
“It’s continued, as best as it can. Things are progressing much more slowly, especially for the birds. Flying is just so difficult in this weather.”
“I know,” I said. I paused, not sure what to do anymore. How could we be ready to fight against the wolf if this rain didn’t stop? “Amery… should I surrender to Nivek?”
“What? No! Why would you even think that? If you give up, none of us will have any hope left. We have to fight. We have no choice! If we fight, we at least have a chance. If we lose, at least we will have kept our honor.”
“Well, look who’s out of the dumps!” Kevin exclaimed, bounding into the hollow and shaking droplets of rain from his feathers. “Amery, don’t you have troops to train or something?”
She gave me one last look, then flew back out into the endless downpour.
“So, how was your nap?” Kevin asked when she was gone.
“I had no idea I was knocked out for so long.”
“Hey, don’t worry. I’m here for you.”
“Kevin, what do you think I should do? Should I surrender?”
“You want my opinion?”
“Desperately.”
Kevin’s chest moved as he exhaled a sigh, and I felt the gentle warm air brush my feathers. “There’s no way around it, Sheer,” he said. “I think you’ll have to give yourself up. If you do, you can at least hope that the scarred wolf will keep his word. If you don’t, you’ll have to dread that his word will be kept.”
“Yeah, I know, but… it’s just so hard.”
“I’ll go with you, if you want.”
“I know that. I just need more time.”
“Time is running out. You realize that, right?”
I was silent. How could I choose? Both arguments were valid. I trusted Kevin, and he made a good point that if we refused, the wolf would just kill us all anyway. But I trusted Amery, too, and her perspective of hope was strong as well. On top of that, I had my own motives. Surrendering myself wouldn’t provide the sweet revenge I secretly wanted against the one who’d caused the deaths of everyone I cared about. It wouldn’t be justice for all the other harm that had been done either. But which was better in the long run? Whom should I follow? Whom should I believe?
XXXVII
In the past, I’d have sought Samuel’s advice. Or maybe Barrie’s. But neither of them was here, and it was Nivek’s fault. Trying to bury my grief as it resurfaced, I did my best to think about what they might have said. It had been so long since they’d been with me, though, I just couldn’t picture it. I looked out at the dreadful rain. Why did all of this have to happen to me? Why not someone else?
My stomach rumbling, I asked Kevin where the food was being stored. I kept myself dry with a protective bubble, so much easier now than it had been when this all began.
Did my skill improve as I slept?
I wondered about this as Kevin led me to the five trees that had grown from branches of a fallen pine, marking one corner of our territory. One of them was hollow and filled to the brim with food.
“Wow!” I exclaimed. “There’s so much here!”
“We have many mouths to feed, and winter is drawing near.”
“Right, of course. I know that.”
“Still,” Kevin said, “you’re the most important of them all. If you didn’t get enough to eat, we’d all suffer. Besides, you’re the one who made the ration rule in the first place. I don’t see any harm in taking extra for yourself.”
“Good, because I’m starving.”
I peered inside and found a pile of grass leaves resting on a large leaf so they wouldn’t fall down into the hollow. I ate until I could no more.
“I’ve been inactive for a while,” I told Kevin when I’d finished. “I want to see how the others are faring.”
“Of course. I’ll go with you. Some have chosen different practicing areas, since the old grounds are flooded.”
I followed Kevin, protected from the rain by my conjuration. I could feel the power pulsing through my veins as I maintained it effortlessly. We found the runners first. I could tell just by looking at them that they’d been hit hard by the flooding. Many of them were thin and weak, and others looked sick as well. They trudged slowly through the muck, pushing themselves harder than ever, but moving so slowly.
“Come on, warriors, keep it up!” Ryan called as he moved in front of me. He came closer in greeting, and he looked worse than any of the others. His skin was sagging around his visible ribs, his eyes were bloodshot, and his fur was coated in mud. Still, a glimmer came to his eyes as he approached. “Sheer, sir. I haven’t seen you in a while.”
“How are you faring, Commander? You look… terrible.”
“I’ll be all right,” he said, but didn’t look it. “It’s this nasty weather, that’s all. Several members have stopped showing up, but I don’t blame them. I think they may have just given up entirely and left the region for somewhere drier.”
“Really? That’s unfortunate.” Ryan nodded, and looked like he couldn’t stand still much longer. “I’ll let you get back to it, then,” I said, wishing I could do something to help.
Kevin led me to the crawlers next. They were in a little better shape than the runners, but not much. They were scrambling across tree branches. Every once in a while, one would fall off into the deep muck; the larger of them would go down and rescue him. I sat there for a while, sheltered by tree leaves, and helped. I kept the small animals from falling too deep into the mud and gave the larger ones footholds to get to them more quickly.
After a while, we left the crawlers and headed to see Spike and his predators. When we got there, it was a truly devastating sight. Some were trying to fly despite rain-soaked wings, and many were sick and weak. The weather had really taken its toll on all of them. Spike, especially due to his old age, looked especially beaten. He shouldn’t have been out in the dreary conditions. He looked tired and worn, but pushed on despite the obvious pain he was in. I could see it in his eyes; the desperate plea for an end to the madness. Focused o
n his troops, he didn’t notice me watching from the bushes. I couldn’t do much to help, and I didn’t want to distract them, so we moved on to Amery’s group.
The peckers seemed okay, sheltered slightly by the branches, but the gliders were faring no better than the predators. Everyone was sick, wet, and tired. We’d never be ready in time. At a loss, I looked to Kevin, but the glance he gave me reminded me of his proposed solution. I wasn’t ready for that yet. The deep down thirst for justice and revenge kept me from moving forward with surrender.
◆◆◆
The next morning was even more dreary. The thunder was much more frequent, and with it came many sudden bolts of lightning. The sky rumbled on like a constant earthquake. Still, the training continued. No matter how bad the storm, we had to go on. We had to be ready.
A wind whipped up; the first wind we’d had in a week. Almost all the trees stripped of their soggy, dead leaves. Branches swayed, and trees leaned heavily with the burden of rain and wind. I tried to imagine the sounds but couldn’t. All I knew was that they would have been frightening — even more so than the sound of rain alone.
I was heading to the food storage near midday, when suddenly the bellowing clouds that filled the sky flashed a shade of green. One cloud dipped down to the earth as if some massive creature had stuck its talon through it. A tornado was coming.
The long black finger twisted as it came nearer to the ground, and the wind thrashed the trees harder than I’d ever seen before. Leaves and sticks swept up into the air and gathered around the cyclone, dancing some kind of insane duet with the cloud. It picked up dust, mud, rocks, even some unlucky animals and dashed them against trees and boulders. Finally, a flash of lightning exploded as the cloud struck the ground, and I fell over with the mighty quake of uprooted trees and stones. In a split second, the devastating twister had left a trail of ruin, then it was gone. The rain was back to a mere drizzle, and the wind died down to a gentle breeze.