by Lydia Deyes
“I don’t know,” Kevin replied solemnly. “He’ll probably try to get you to join him, and you’d be safest doing that. He would give you more power than you have now, that’s for sure. If you don’t join him, he might kill you, or he might just ask you to stay out of his way. He’s afraid of your abilities, and of what might happen if you fulfilled the prophecy. He might even let you return here, unharmed, if you strike the right kind of deal.”
“You really think so?” It was a relief to think there might be hope if I surrendered. Some outcome other than the death and destruction that was sure to come if we tried to fight this monster.
“Why would I lie to you? What good would it do me to lie to my best friend? I’m on your side, Sheer. You know that.”
“I know.” I thought for a long while. I knew this was the right thing to do. The only thing to do. Why was it still so hard?
“I can go with you,” Kevin said. “If you want.”
“No, no… I wouldn’t want you to put yourself in danger. I just need more time, that’s all.”
“What about the hostages?”
I sighed. “I know. It’s… I’ll go eventually. I’m sure he’ll let them go if I surrender. When I surrender. I just can’t bring myself to do it. Not right now. Not yet. I’m not ready. But sometime, sometime soon.”
“Maybe he’d give you more time if you called off the training. After all… if you surrender, you wouldn’t need to go to war.”
“No, I don’t want to do that. I want them to be able to defend themselves, in case he attacks anyway. Or in case he kills me and they need to defend themselves someday.” I shuddered at the thought of not being here the next time my army needed to fight. It wouldn’t be my army anymore, I supposed.
“That makes sense.”
“I’m scared, Kevin.”
“I know.”
“I’m not ready to die. Not like this. I’ll die fighting for what I believe in, but… it’s hard to just give up.”
“Sometimes the best choices are the hardest ones, Sheer. It’s natural to feel afraid.”
“Why does he want me? Why not someone else, someone more…” I trailed off in thought.
“Because you’re special, Sheer. There’s the prophecy, for one. Besides, the ones with power and privilege are the ones who have to make the most difficult choices. It’s not every day that someone like you comes along, someone with your extraordinary abilities. You can control matter with your mind. That’s not exactly normal.”
I picked at the mud with my claw. “Do you think I need to prepare myself to fight him, just in case? If he tries to kill me, I don’t think I could just let him. It’d be worse than torture, to stand there and wait for him to strike.”
Kevin shrugged. “Whatever you feel is necessary,” he said.
A frantic urge to use my powers rose to the top of my mind, and I let it flow freely out, lifting Kevin into the air.
“Hey!”
Already feeling a bit better, I laughed. “Did I surprise you?”
“Yes… but, if you’d like to practice your powers, I know a better place. One full of rocks, branches, and unsuspecting animals galore.”
My heart skipped a beat, and excitement rose in my gizzard. “The runner’s obstacle course! That’s perfect!”
I transported Kevin and myself there but was surprised when the effort left me weary. I was going too fast; I was too excited. I stopped and took a breath, waiting for my energy to return.
“Carry on,” I said when the runner commander saw me and slowed down in anticipation of a greeting. He continued on his way, and I prepared for my next action. The obstacle nearest to us was about to get a bit more challenging for the larger mammals.
I lifted and rearranged the rock pile to be taller, gathering some stones from where they were scattered on the forest floor. Now, even the largest animals would have to climb over it instead of jumping. When the runners came back around, I nearly burst out laughing. Most of them skidded to a halt with confusion. Hardly any of them saw me, and of those, most wouldn’t know I had powers. Only a few had been on the thirteenth floor before it was destroyed. They all looked around in bewilderment, then continued on.
When they’d all passed by, I did my best to return the pile of stones to what it was before. This time around, none of the runners stopped, but most slowed and shook their heads vigorously. They probably thought they’d imagined the change. Kevin and I snickered softly.
I moved from one obstacle to the next, making various changes to each one in turn. Sometimes I made a minor alteration, like lowering or turning a log; other times, I dug out a mud puddle or shifted the entire obstacle, like I had with the rock pile. When I was done with the runners, I moved on to the crawlers, then the predatory birds, then the peckers and gliders. Each time, Kevin and I stayed in the shadows while I made training day confusing for everyone — except the two of us, of course. The rest of the day passed so quickly from the fun I was having that it was soon dark, and I couldn’t see well enough to continue. Exhausted but exhilarated, I slept soundly that night and almost entirely forgot about the wolf.
XLI
Over the next few days, I continued to practice my powers during the warriors’ training. Despite the clear skies, I also decided to increase storage and rationing again. After all, winter was coming, and many animals were sharing the territory. I didn’t ration my own portions, of course. I’d probably be dead in a few days, and eating freely helped me cope with my anxiety.
I could see Amery watching me when I sat with Kevin, enjoying my oversized portion at the communal breakfast. She clearly didn't approve, but that just made me all the more compelled to continue. She didn’t have the right to tell me what to do. Kevin supported everything I did, with great enthusiasm. The more time I spent with him, the more I felt he was the only one who understood me. Amery just wanted me to feel miserable.
I started to stay near Amery’s training grounds and laugh at her as she tried to lead her troops despite my meddling. She ignored us, but we continued to make sport of her anyway. It was a delightful distraction from the inevitable. I’d decided that I’d turn myself in to the wolf when the moon was half-full. The first quarter moon… and it was approaching fast.
◆◆◆
The day before my demise, the sun was shining brightly, as if to mock me. I struggled to keep my spirits high, and to help, Kevin suggested I use my power on Amery. Thus far, I’d never touched her — only her troops and surroundings. I tried to use my power to force Amery to stay on the ground, but… it didn’t work. Shocked, I watched as she went up in flight without restraint. It didn’t even look like she’d noticed anything different. I tried again, this time, to force her back down. Nothing happened.
I began to panic. I tried to lift a pebble, something that had seemed too easy only one day before. It remained stubbornly on the ground. I must have cried out, for Kevin prodded me and asked me what was wrong. “I can’t do it, Kevin!”
His beak dropped open, but he quickly shut it again. “What? What’s wrong? Are you afraid all of a sudden? I told you, I can go with you…”
“No, it’s not that…” Suddenly, I wondered what Kevin would think if he knew I’d lost my powers. He stuck loyally to me, more so than any other animal I knew, but he valued my abilities so highly. He was always telling me how special I was, how powerful I was.
“Well, I guess,” I corrected, choosing my words carefully. “I’m afraid to go on with it. You know… tomorrow.”
“Oh. You can’t change your mind now, though. It’s too late for that.”
“I know,” I replied. More than you know. Now that I had no powers, I was no use to my army anymore — not alive, anyway.
“Do you want me to go with you?”
“I suppose that would be good,” I said. Now that I can’t even defend myself. I was overwhelmed with hopelessness, with helplessness, and wept. “I don’t know what to do,” I cried.
“It’ll be okay,” Kevi
n said in my head since my eyes were closed. “I’ll go with you. I’ll protect you, if you need me. I promise.”
“I need you, Kevin,” I whispered sadly. “I need you desperately.” I was suddenly overcome with incredible fatigue.
◆◆◆
Kevin must have arranged for some animals to carry me back to my nest, for I woke when it was completely dark. I could hardly see and wasn’t sure whether it was late night or early morning. My mouth felt dry, and my eyes felt sore.
Why do I feel so awful?
The shadows formed frightening shapes, and all of a sudden I was more afraid than I’d ever been before.
Without my powers, I felt completely helpless. How could I defend myself? I imagined the night sounds in my head, trying to calm myself, but was distracted by the shadows. For a moment, I was glad I couldn’t hear. I was sure if I could, every sound would seem like something coming to hurt me.
“Kevin, where are you?” I called out, a wave of fear spreading over me in the dark.
“I’m near.” Kevin’s voice comforted me a little, and I strained to see him through the darkness. A shadowy form hopped onto the branch beside me, and I was pretty sure it was him. Kevin’s voice in my head confirmed it: “It’s me. I’ll watch over you. Get some sleep, Sheer. Tomorrow is a big day.”
Right, I thought. Tomorrow. I was dreading it more than ever.
XLII
The next morning, the ground was soft with dew as I looked everywhere for Amery. Even though I’d given her grief for the past several days, even though we’d barely spoken and I was sure she was still angry with me, even though Kevin didn’t get along with her… I still wanted to talk to her. One last time. But everywhere I looked, there was no sign of her. I sighed and looked at the sunrise, trying to prepare myself for what was to come. It was probably the last one I’d ever see. I closed my eyes, dreading every second that passed. Then I felt a breath on my back.
I jumped, turning quickly, and saw the friendly gray wolf who’d previously helped by bringing me news of missing warriors. Something about this seemed wrong, but I couldn’t place it.
“What is it?” I asked. “What’s wrong?”
The wolf stamped his paw in the ground seven times, then added one more toeprint. Twenty-nine in total. “That’s the prisoner count now, sir,” he replied. “Finsternis was especially pleased with the most recent one. He said the bird was important, somehow. She wouldn’t give her name, not like the others. Not at first. He nearly killed her to get it out of her. She finally admitted that her name was…”
I didn’t need to be able to hear to know the answer. My heart pounded in its cage. Amery.
“No!” I shouted. “No, not her!” Despite all the arguments and everything we’d been through, she was still the closest thing I had to family besides Kevin. And now that I had no powers, losing her somehow felt even worse.
Pure hatred simmered inside me and threatened to spill out. Nivek had taken from me everyone I’d ever cared about. My sister, my mother, my best friend, my mentor… and now, Amery. I couldn’t let him win. I couldn’t let him take another. I had to save her.
I looked back towards the wolf, but he was gone, without a trace. He hadn’t even left another footprint. It was then I realized it had all been a vision. The wolf was dead. Nivek had killed him, the night of the darkest moon.
How could I not have noticed it wasn’t real?
Yet I knew it was true. I was full of conviction, full of anxiety, but most of all, full of determination.
When I told Kevin about my vision, he shook his head sadly. “You’re still planning to surrender, though, right?”
“No. My mind has changed.”
“But you can’t change it now. It’s too late!”
“It’s never too late. I have to go after her.”
“You hate her!”
Even though I’d felt as much sometimes, I couldn’t bring myself to agree with Kevin this time. I shook my head. “I can’t leave her to the wolf’s mercy. I don’t know what he would do to her, or what he’s already done.”
“What about your promise? We were going to go, together.”
“Kevin, I’m sorry. I’ve made up my mind, and I’m going after her.”
“Forget her, Sheer. What about the rest of your army? You know they have no chance. You’re practically handing them over to the black wolf if you do this.”
“That’s a risk I’ll have to take. I can’t leave her, Kevin.”
Kevin stamped his foot. “Just how do you plan to do this, then? You had no hope before. You were planning to surrender, Sheer! How can you change your mind so suddenly?”
“Well, we’ll fight. Soon. The day after tomorrow,” I said, deciding the plan on the spot. “I’ve got to save her. Whether we win or die, at least we would have tried.”
“You’re breaking the pact!”
“No, I’m not. I never said I’d wait until full moon. Only Nivek said that. Our time is almost up, anyway. I don’t think we would be any more prepared if we wait than we are now.”
“Do you have a clear head?” Kevin demanded. “You’re crazy! You can’t do this! You will all die!”
“It’s clearer than it’s ever been,” I insisted. “I’m going after Amery, and that’s my final decision. We’ll wage war the day after tomorrow. Besides, even if we are lacking in number and strength, we’ll have the advantage of surprise.”
“I can’t convince you, can I?”
“No,” I replied, fluttering my wings and looking towards the river. “There’s so much that needs to be done!”
I took off and left to speak to Spike. When I got there, the predators were soaring high in the sky, practicing in-flight combat. They had no idea their time had just been cut incredibly short.
“Spike!” I called out as soon as I saw him, forgetting all formalities. I had no more time for such petty things. “I need to speak with you, right away!”
The old crow made his way down and landed in front of me. “What is it, Sheer, sir?”
“Our warriors have been captured by the wolf. And they have Amery. I’ve decided we need to change plans… and attack the day after tomorrow.”
His eyes grew wide. “I thought our ranks were thinning because we were drilling them too hard! That’s awful! I’ll try to have my troops ready by then, sir, but I cannot promise that we’ll be ready to conquer the wolves. It was a slim chance already, even if we waited till the full moon.”
“We can at least create a diversion,” I said, ideas flowing through me faster than the river behind him. “That will allow us to rescue the prisoners at least. After that, if there’s no hope of winning the battle, maybe we can try to run away. I don’t know where we could go, with Nivek’s terror spreading so quickly, but surely there is still a place that is safe.”
Spike nodded. “All right, sir. I’ll tell my warriors now, and we’ll hasten training immediately.”
“Thank you, Spike.”
I flew as fast as I could to where Amery’s group was gathered. In the absence of their leader, her lieutenants were doing their best to keep up the work. That made me proud.
“You three,” I called, “come here. I need to speak with you.”
“Greetings, Sheer, sir,” the robin said as they approached.
“I see you’ve heard the news, sir.” The duck shook his head in sorrow.
The third, a woodpecker, then asked, “What are we going to do, Sheer, sir?”
“I need you to work extra hard. We will launch a surprise attack on the wolves in two days.”
“Two days!”
“Yes. I can’t let this snatching continue. It must be stopped, and soon. The battle will be a distraction while I free Amery and the others.”
“We’ll do our best, sir.”
I told the same to Ryan and Nyoka and got the same reaction from both. We would fight in two days. Time really was running out now, far faster than before.
XLIII
That day and
the next were the busiest I’d seen in my life. I was constantly going back and forth between the different groups, doing everything I could to help. I helped Anna for a while, trying to get as many of our sick and injured warriors back to normal as possible, now that we were on a tight schedule. I slept very little, and the time not spent in training was occupied by meetings among all the commanders and lieutenants — except Amery, of course. We discussed battle plans and strategies and tried to think of every possible outcome. I talked to scouts, who searched for the best location to approach the wolves. We knew they were at the point where two rivers merged into the one that bordered our territory, but I needed more specifics. I had no time for light conversation with Kevin. As soon as the day was up, I was so exhausted, I fell asleep immediately.
The scarred wolf haunted my dreams that night. I saw the battle and woke up feeling like I’d flown a great distance, either in his pursuit or in pursuit of him. I wasn’t sure whether these were visions, dreams, or nightmares.
It seemed like the two days of rushed training and final night traveling closer to where the wolves were camped passed in the blink of an eye. All of a sudden, it was time. I was anxious to rescue Amery and the others, and nervous about the inevitable confrontation with Nivek.
The sky lightened before I could see the sun. We were so close to the mountains, the great masses blocked out the flaming ball of light. But soon, the forest behind us was bathed in gentle light, while the foothills where the wolves were stationed remained in darkness. It was time. This was the moment when we would attack.
I gave the word, and each command unit split among the lieutenants and headed off to surround the camp as much as possible. Not a figure stirred.
The scouts had reported glinting metal at the far side of camp, and I guessed that was where the prisoners were being held, in human-made cages like the one the crows had stuffed me into. I’d begin my search there, assisted by a few members of my army: a slender weasel, a chipmunk, an owl, and a blue jay.