He’d not given her an answer to the question she’d asked. He’d been too afraid of what would come out of his mouth… or what he would do with his mouth.
He’d thought his hunger for her was gone, but it seemed that all he’d done was cage it. Once she was in his arms, the cage had come unlocked, and it had taken everything in Gerard to contain it once more.
And that was all it was. Contained, and not very well.
He hated ignoring her. He hated the distance between them but knew it was the only good option. He was frustrated with himself.
Why didn’t his mind work as it once had? Why could he not look at her and simply see a friend and not the deep hue of her lips, or her stunning blue eyes, or her creamy skin? Why couldn’t he look into her eyes and feel nothing but the ease and happiness there had once been?
He looked at her then and found her staring at him impatiently.
“Well?” she asked, obviously having asked him a question he’d not heard.
“I’m sorry, what was your question?” he asked.
She inhaled deeply. “I asked what was stopping you from building ships?”
“I don’t know,” he told her as he looked at the road once more. “Perhaps I won’t be good at it.” He felt exposed for saying the words aloud, but a part of him had known the confession would be safe with Rose.
“I’m sure that if you tried, you could be the very best ship designer in all of England.”
He glanced at her and could tell by the set in her chin that she was being serious. “Such blind faith.”
She frowned. “My faith is not blind. You’ve a brilliant mind, Gerard. Also, boats have always been your favorite subject, or at least for as long as I’ve known you. I see no reason that you should not pursue this dream.”
“You make it sound easy.”
“It is.”
“It’s not,” he countered, knowing it was a childish thing to do.
“Is so,” she shouted and then laughed, likely with the same thoughts as he'd had.
He laughed as well. Who could help but join in whenever Rose’s voice rose with gladness?
“Gerard, build a ship.”
“Very well,” he told her. “And for encouraging me on this path, I shall name her The Rose.”
“Rose Smith,” she corrected with a smile in her voice. “We can’t let anyone think it was named after the flower, after all.”
He chuckled and smiled down at her.
* * *
12
CHAPTER
TWELVE
.
.
.
* * *
* * *
.
It felt as though Rose had imagined what had taken place just the other day. The visit to the orphanage and their moment in the trees seemed now like a whisper of her imagination as she thought of how Gerard’s distance had grown.
If he’d been ignoring her before, she was now beginning to wonder if they’d ever met. That was how much he’d spoken to her. They were otherwise strangers at this point.
And more than anything, she was lost as to what she should do to repair whatever damage was between them. Had she pushed him too far? If she had, then it was time she accepted that there would be nothing more than friendship. Otherwise, she feared losing her friend.
But she wanted to do violence to him whenever she believed that she was the only one worrying over their loss of companionship. Didn’t she mean anything to him at all?
She was in the sitting room with Alex and a few of the other women who did not plan to go to the lecture. They were instead planning either to walk to the river or remain inside.
Lady Davis turned to her. “It’s a lovely day for a walk, but I don’t believe I could make it to the river.”
Rose smiled at her. Lady Davis had come with her son, who was a friend of Gerard’s. They’d been so pleased to see one another that they’d shared a very uncustomary hug and then had secreted away to read the final pages of Emma together. Rose had sent her letter to Lord Stonewhire about the other books she was reading, even making mention of Emma, but knew it would be a few days before the letter was delivered and even longer before she received a reply.
“Perhaps I could help you find another book in the library,” Rose suggested.
“If you don’t mind,” Lady Davis said. “But really, you don’t have to. You’re not at work after all.”
Rose laughed. “I love books and would enjoy helping you.” They stood together and left the room. They had to go through the foyer to get to the other side of the house where the library was. Rose paused when she noticed the front door was open and a tall gentleman she didn’t know stepped through.
He was shocking at first sight. His skin was a very deep tan. He turned to give the butler his hat and Rose noticed just how handsome he was. For some reason, he seemed familiar to her.
Mr. Darrow spotted Rose and brought the gentleman toward her. “Miss Smith, this is the Viscount of Wint.”
Rose smiled up at the sun-kissed man and curtseyed. “It’s so good to finally meet you.”
“I recognize the last name. You must be Rose.” His violet eyes roamed her. He gave her a soft smile. “Alex has told me much about you.”
Unable to help herself, she said, “Why are you so sure that I’m Rose?”
He laughed, caught off guard by her comment. He had a very nice laugh. “She described you very well.”
Rose’s cheeks colored.
Lady Davis curtseyed and said, “Rose, I’ll allow you to attend to your duties and see you later.”
Rose turned to her. “Oh, are you sure?”
The old woman nodded with a grin. “Yes, very.” She turned to Lord Wint. “Have a good day, my lord.” Then she was gone.
Rose turned back to Lord Wint. “I’ll take you to meet Lord Obenshire and then see that a maid shows you to your room, unless you’d rather have it the other way.”
He placed his hands behind his back and gave her a single nod. “Your way is fine.” A small smile still played around his mouth. He was very handsome, and his tan made his eyes that much brighter. He also had black lashes that reminded Rose of Alex, along with his midnight hair.
“Very well.” She started back down the hall she’d come from. “You’ve come during a rather quiet time. Many of the guests are preparing to leave for Lord Grant’s lecture.”
“And will you be attending?”
Rose paused. “I’m… not sure.” She would not until Gerard asked, but she was beginning to think that unlikely. The last page of her diary was full of woes and utter sadness where he was concerned.
“I’m glad I made it in time.” He came to stand next to her, though he had to take shorter steps because of his height. “I hear Lord Grant is very knowledgeable about disease and how it is contracted. You should come.”
She turned to him and frowned. “I don’t believe I wish to learn how to contract diseases, but thank you.”
He laughed and stared at her. “Oh, Alexandra was right about you.”
She narrowed her eyes. “What did Alex say about me?”
“She said you were clever and kind.”
Rose smiled and turned forward. “That was nice of her.”
“And she said you were very beautiful.”
Rose stopped walking and turned to him. “She said that?”
He nodded and stopped less than a foot from her. He smelled like wild woodlands. “Eyes brighter than any ocean I’ve yet to see and hair the color of warm honey.”
“She said no such thing,” Rose countered, slightly embarrassed.
He lifted a brow. “I’m quoting her every word.”
Why would Alex describe her in such a way?
“What did she say about me?” Lord Wint asked.
Rose looked him over and whispered, “Not enough.”
He laughed. She’d not meant her words to be entertaining. She truly felt caught off guard by this man.
“I like
you,” he said. “You’re the first person to speak to me as though I’ve no title.”
She smiled. “Well, then I shall not change in any way.”
“Please don’t.” He grinned. “Though I would like it if you accompanied me to the lecture. I’d rather not go alone. Knowing someone would be lovely.”
She stared at him. “And we’d sit together? Side-by-side?” She’d have only been able to sit by Gerard if Alex and Justin had gone, and since Alex was not going...
“Why ever would we not sit together?” he asked sincerely, obviously confused.
“People would think we were courting,” she informed him.
He lifted a brow. “I’m not opposed to a little gossip.”
She smiled slowly. Gerard would never allow ‘a little gossip,’ though Rose would if it meant them sitting by one another for a lecture or even a play. It wasn’t as though they would have been alone at such a public function. Why was her relationship with Gerard so complicated?
“Miss Smith.”
She turned and was surprised to see Gerard in the hall. “You startled me, my lord.” And why did she have to call him ‘my lord’? Why were they so formal in front of others? If he were really her friend, it wouldn’t matter. “This is Lord Wint.”
“I know,” Gerard said. “We’ve met.” His expression was unreadable. He bowed to Wint, who returned it. “I’m glad you could join us. Are you coming to the lecture?”
“Yes, I’m looking forward to it.” Wint looked her way before returning to Gerard. “I hear Lord Grant is very good.”
“Indeed, he is.” Gerard waved at a maid who’d stepped into the hall. “Show Lord Wint to his chambers.” To Wint, he said, “We’re meeting in the foyer in half an hour.”
“I will be there.” Wint nodded at them both and then departed with the maid.
Rose realized for the first time in two days that she was alone with Gerard. “I’d better return to the sitting room.”
He grabbed her arm, forcing her to remain. “Are you coming to the lecture?”
There was the invitation she’d been waiting for, but would she have gotten it if they had not run into each other? “Will we be sitting together?”
He frowned. “Is Alex coming?”
“No.”
He shook his head. “Impossible. You know how members of my class are.”
A comment like that wouldn’t usually have hurt, but with his absence as well as the charming Lord Wint’s invitation, a dull ache began in her chest.
“I’ll be there.”
He smiled at her, and it softened the pain. “Good.” He turned and left her in the hall, and Rose went to her room to prepare. There was no reason to mention that she wasn’t going for Gerard but for Lord Wint. Though she vowed to look stunning nonetheless.
* * *
13
CHAPTER
THIRTEEN
.
.
.
* * *
* * *
.
Rose had changed out of the white dress with the blue stripes she’d been wearing earlier to a muslin day dress that looked to have been painted the exact color of her eyes. Her shoulders and bodice were covered in lace—as though it covered anything—and she dared wear a diamond choker. It caught the light when she moved, turning her head to smile at Lord Wint as though he'd hung the very stars in the sky.
It was the third time in the last hour that she’d had to suppress her laughter. What could be so funny about mucus?
Gerard turned away and tried to focus on the lecture.
Lord Grant had begun with giving the crowd various accounts of death when it came to sickness in Britain and the methods in which most illnesses were cured or treated. He was engaging and had even told a few jokes of his own, which had caused the two hundred who’d gathered to laugh a time or two, but what truly made him a phenomenal speaker was that he allowed others to ask questions. Dialogue and ideas were exchanged, which seemed to engage the entire room.
At least, everyone but Rose and Wint.
Rose and Wint. It went together in a way that turned Gerard’s stomach.
Didn’t she know that people would think them courting with the way they were behaving? She was all but in the man’s lap. It drove him mad that he couldn’t see their hands. Was she touching him? Was he touching her? He’d kill him.
She bit her lip again and covered her mouth, which made this the fourth time.
He was losing his mind where she was concerned.
And he missed her terribly.
Five!
He had to force himself to remain in his chair as he watched Rose lean toward Lord Wint in order to hear whatever he was saying.
“She’s a beautiful lass.” Manas McKay commented.
“Who?” Gerard turned his gaze away from Rose and toward Lord Grant once more.
“Rose,” Manas said. “Her brother Nash told me to ensure her safety. I hate to inform ye, but I’ve already had to threaten to break a few of your guests if they approached her again.”
Gerard looked at his friend. “She’s been approached?”
Manas’s dark eyes were fixed on Rose. “Aye.” The faded scar that lined his jaw faced Gerard. “By a few of yer unhappily married guests. The young and unwed gentlemen of means I allow to speak to her, so long as they don’t try anything.” He looked at Gerard. “Nash’s orders.”
Gerard must have been keeping his distance too well for all of this to have happened. He’d not been a very good host where Rose was concerned. He’d have to do better. “I’ll speak with her and make sure she’s comfortable.”
“That would be good.” Manas leaned farther down in his chair—yet still managed to be taller than half the men on the row— and closed his eyes. “Wake me when it’s over.” The duke’s eldest son had little shame. He’d been gone to the Highlands for years and had only returned to England during this last Season.
Gerard had known him when they were boys, but once Manas had gone to prison, Gerard’s father had forbidden them from seeing one another, just as many of the other gentlemen of the ton had been warned. Gerard had been banned from many friends while growing up. In an effort to make sure that Gerard only ever had his father’s influence, Avon had threatened everyone away.
He’d only been unable to chase off Justin because Justin had a great tolerance for punishment, and Rose, because Avon didn’t know about Rose.
And Gerard would keep it that way.
It was one reason he kept their relationship from the public eye. He didn’t want to imagine what his father would do to her if he found out just how much Rose meant to him. As Avon had threatened just a few weeks ago, he could intimidate men without ever leaving his bed.
And Gerard had seen him do it. Avon had ruined one family after another, destroying anything and anyone who got in his way. Gerard was sure that the only reason Justin was still breathing after his latest defiance of the duke’s authority was because of Alex. No matter what Avon said, Gerard thought the man liked her. Gerard had been told that the old man had proposed to her in an off-hand kind of way.
Would he like Rose?
Maybe.
Though there was a greater chance that he would crush her under his foot like he would a precious flower, and with it, the light that she gifted the world.
He had to protect her from that. The best way to do so would be to leave her utterly alone, but Gerard couldn’t do that. Like a moth, he was drawn to her light and wanted nothing more than to drink from it.
In a friendly sense, of course.
When the lecture ended, he woke Manas then dragged his Scottish friend across the room. “Distract Lord Wint so that I may speak to Rose.”
Manas nodded.
Gerard stopped before the two, catching them in the middle of something hilarious, and introduced Manas to Wint. Manas easily caught the world traveler in Scottish folklore about a place he’d never been, and Gerard pulled Rose to a corner of the room.
“You’ve been approached?” he whispered.
She frowned. “By whom?”
“Men,” he hissed. “Have you been approached by any of my guests? Has anyone made obscene comments toward you?”
She lifted a brow. “Why does this surprise you? You make obscene comments to me all the time.”
He glared. “Yes, but I mean it in pure jest. I don’t actually want you.”
Something passed in her features before her face went blank. Her eyes were slightly wide and her lips parted. Then she looked away.
“What?” he asked. “Are you thinking about someone in particular? If someone has offended you, tell me, and I’ll see them dismissed at once, I swear it.”
She turned and smiled at him. “I’m very sure that the man I want dismissed is the very last man you would.”
Gerard went through the list of guests in his head, but there were too many to count. Yet he couldn’t think of a single man he’d not dismiss. Perhaps Justin, but he was sure Justin would never try anything with Rose. He adored Alexandra.
Though at the moment, Rose was giving him a pointed look. Surely, she didn’t mean she wished him dismissed. It was his party, after all.
Rose cut into his thoughts. “I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. I can manage a few unflattering words. I’ve been doing so my entire life.”
He stared at her and recalled what she’d called herself in the carriage weeks ago. “I wish you didn’t have to.”
She smiled once more. He’d missed her smile. “We should return to the house so that you can write your father about what you’ve discovered.”
He did need to do that, though he’d need to speak to those who’d listened more closely before he did.
“Have you heard from him?” she asked.
The Games the Earl Plays Page 8